Hello there, this is my first time writing fan-fiction, so it probably won’t be very good, but here it is anyway. Feedback would be much appreciated and constructive criticism is welcomed.
So Here it is my Ratatouille one-shot entitled: All In a Day’s Work. This story is told from the perspective of Remy.
My day starts off with an early morning wake-up, then I cook breakfast for Alfredo and Myself, and off to work we go.
Ahh, La Ratatouille, I wouldn’t trade my job here for anything in the world, cooking is irreplaceable, there’s just that joy inside you when you get those ingredients and mix it in, then when the dish is finally finished the satisfaction you get from it is too hard to explain, almost too good to be true. You have to try it to get that feeling.
I think Alfredo and I make a good team here. Lunch time is pretty busy, but nothing matches dinner time. It just goes by like that, all of a sudden the day is almost over.
The customers today have enjoyed their meals, it seems and Alfredo and I manage to eat some leftovers for dinner.
After work I quickly go and meet my Rat family, my dad is proud of me and that makes me very happy, Emile is the same as always and I like him that way, it’s nice to catch up with the family again.
Finally when we return home we watch a film together, tonight we watch a Superhero classic “The Incredibles”. We really enjoyed this one.
We still have some time, so we go for a walk around the neighbourhood and then it’s time to hit the sack.
The next morning we wake up and go through the same cycle.
So that was a day in my life, Yours Sincerely Remy.
That was very cute, pixarmilan! I like how you used the name Alfredo when talking about him instead of Linguini like everyone else uses. I don’t know, it’s probably just a personal preference for me but I prefer to call him by his first name.
I think it would have been a little more interesting if you had thrown in some sort of unexpected situation in there, or maybe added a bit of dialogue, even. Overall though the construction seems to be fine. It seems rather rushed through, and again would have benefited from some descriptive fillers, such as describing their surroundings a bit or maybe talking a little bit about their scenic drive to work every morning, random stuff like that.
But overall, a very great first fan fiction piece! Great job!
Thank you very much! It was a bit short, and missing some things. Next time I’ll try to add dialogue and be more descriptive. I also will try to use an unexpected situation. But, Thank you very much, I wasn’t expecting anyone to really read it or review it, so this was an unexpected pleasant surprise!
I thought it was very good for a first fanfic. I love how you chose Remy as your main character. I do agree with little_chef_eva 09 that it was rushed. You were like then I ate lunch And i enjoyed it and the next thing it is you are talking about your dad how he is proud and how Emile is his usually personality. And I would think that you could describe how the food tasted, Maybe?? And how maybe the food looked like. But personally I agree with everything that little_chef_eva 09 said. But i think it is very good. I do like the story but maybe you could change things around.
That was pretty good. Although rather short, I consider it a starting point for your fanfiction. I liked that you threw in a nod to another Pixar film in there (and by the same director!), and I could just hear Remy’s voice in my head as I read this.
I like how you used the name Alfredo when talking about him instead of Linguini like everyone else uses. I don’t know, it’s probably just a personal preference for me but I prefer to call him by his first name. 
