Okay, I’m pretty new here and wanted to try get to know some people ( FYI I’m also and aspiring author ) Anyway…I just did this in like 10 minutes and wanted to see if people liked my writing, Please Comment! If it gets lots of votes… I’ll continue (yeah I know its extremely short.)
Woody jumped down from Andy’s dresser drawers and hopped onto the polished hard wood floor. All the toys were waking up again, after a scary encounter with Andy’s mom. “That was amazing!” commented Jessie on Woody’s heroic effort to save Bullseye before Andy’s Mom entered the bedroom. Bullseye came up and gave Woody a few large licks on the cheek. “Ha, Bullseye!” Woody quickly pushed the horse away. “Great work partner.” Commented Buzz as he leaped down from Andy’s bed side table. He slapped Woody on the back. “Just doin my work,” Woody replied, smiling. The toys didn’t have long to relax and praise Woody on his good work before Andy came rushing into the room with his dog tailing not far behind. It was as if time stopped, all the toys dropped down limp on the floor. “Woo hoo!” yelled Andy as he scooped up his Woody and Buzz toys and set up a whole scenario. During which Mr. Potato head robbed a bank and the infamous team of Woody and Buzz caught him and putting him in jail. After a while Mrs. Davis called her son down for dinner. Andy dumped his favorite toys on the floor and rushed out of the room. Woody was the first to re-awaken.
So that’s how they get so many views…could you review them…just state what you like or what you thought about them…it just helps me want to continue them because i see people reading them.
“Don’t you ever get bored of this?” Mr. Potato Head questioned the toys. “Not really,” Buzz quickly responded. “We all are here for Andy remember? Woody made that decision just a while ago that he would rather spend his time here than any other place.” Buzz concluded. “Ya I remember but seriously, we all can’t be Andy’s favorite toy like you and Woody.” “The Spud’s got a point,” held Hamm. “I think we need a vacation.” Woody leaped off the bed “What’s wrong with you toys? Have you been shrink wrapped? We’re here to be played with!” Woody was furious. He didn’t wanting his friends to make the same mistake he almost did. “You guys aren’t going anywhere!” Woody yelled. “Conversation over!” Woody stomped off into a corner. “Wow,” Mr. Potato head muttered. “All I asked for was a little vacation.”
1-The toys are right…they deserve a vacation to think it over.
2-Woody is right…Buzz had made a bad choice to the extent of what the toys are thinking of.
Review-Liked it…rather short but i guess being long doesn’t make it good. Can’t wait to see if the toys come up with an idea. maybe Woody and Buzz should bring the vacation to the toys before they mutiny.
Thanks for your comments! They really are helping me to strive to write better!
by the way, sorry for the shortness…I’m just trying to do something fast and easy for my first ever fanfic
I hope Woody doesn’t run away, or someone else!! Now I’m anxious!! Quick!! Make another fanfic!! I wanna know what happens!!! Oh, I can’t stand waiting for the rest of a good fanfic…
Chapter 2
The next morning Buzz woke up and stretched his plastic muscles. It was a vivid sunny Wednesday and Andy was already at school. “Hey Cowboy,” Buzz said as he waved to Woody who was barely awake. “Uhhhuhhh,” Woody muttered as he rolled around in the sheets. Buzz hopped off the bed and landed on the floor of Andy’s room. “Good morning Rex!” Shouted Buzz as he landed on the smooth floors of Andy’s Bedroom. Much to his surprise, there was no answer back. “That’s strange,” Buzz whispered to himself. Rex was always the first to wake up in the morning. Buzz glanced around the room nervously. “Mr. Potato Head? Hamm?” No response. “Darn it!” Buzz muttered, under his breath. He climbed back on the bed and this time shook the daylights out of Woody. “Ahh! O.K.! I’m awake!” He yelled at Buzz. “Woody we have a really big problem,” Buzz said nervously. “It can’t be THAT bad,” Woody said as he rolled his plastic eyes. “Oh trust me,” Buzz said “It’s that bad.”
I know it’s really short, just felt like posting the little part I did in a few minutes. I have been busy and haven’t really had that much time to write
woody- You know what? I actually do have a liking for your writing! Giving the punch without knocking me over - keeping the suspense is a writer’s critical tool and you possess that.
Creating a 2-sided argument as Al-Bob stated is a great literary device, I hope you develop your future writings on this. I love to see when the foundations are set for a great story.
Chapter Two opens up with Mr. Potato Head, despite the argument with Woody, leaving - the question is, will Andy really care? He’ll just use someone else for the villain, because, quite frankly, Mr. PH is just a preschool toy, and does not have the same, if any, sentimental value to Andy.
You’ve captivated me with suspense. Great work. 4.5 (2.5 from the use of the 2-sided argument device) out of 5. Can’t wait to see your next batch of writings.
) Anyway…I just did this in like 10 minutes and wanted to see if people liked my writing, Please Comment! If it gets lots of votes… I’ll continue (yeah I know its extremely short.)