{"id":622,"date":"2005-04-02T06:07:00","date_gmt":"2005-04-02T06:07:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/pixarplanet.com\/blog\/apple-founder-jobs-joins-ikea-the-register"},"modified":"2005-04-02T06:07:00","modified_gmt":"2005-04-02T06:07:00","slug":"apple-founder-jobs-joins-ikea-the-register-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/pixarplanet.com\/blog\/apple-founder-jobs-joins-ikea-the-register-2\/","title":{"rendered":"Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA | The Register"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA<\/span> | The Register<\/a><\/p>\n

\nApple founder Jobs joins IKEA<\/span><\/p>\n

By Andrew Orlowski in San Francisco<\/p>\n

Published Friday 1st April 2005 09:54 GMT<\/span><\/p>\n

IKEA<\/span>’s flatpack days may soon be a distant memory, as Apple and Pixar founder Steve Jobs turns to his latest challenge. Inter IKEA<\/span> Systems BV will employ Jobs as “acting CEO<\/span>”, from next month. The technology icon will maintain his twin CEO<\/span> roles at Apple Computer Inc. and Pixar Inc. but will also take command with a wide-ranging brief at the retail giant. For the technology guru, it’s just another job, but for the Swedish furnishing franchise, it’s a massive gamble. IKEA<\/span> had a turnover of \u20ac13 billion last year, and has over 200 stores worldwide.<\/p>\n

\nFor Jobs, who has no furniture at all in his Palo Alto house, it’s an opportunity to reinvent an industry once again. Exclusive mock-ups of his first designs have been obtained by The Register.<\/p>\n

\nApple fans won’t be disappointed. Jobs has convinced the Apple board to second the computer company’s award-winning design team to work for IKEA<\/span>, and in a unique licensing agreement, the results will bear the Apple logo.<\/p>\n

\nIn magical metal furniture we trust: Jobs wins over a sceptical Swedish boardroom<\/p>\n

\nAmongst the most controversial ideas to be introduced is a radical twist on a classic concept, the “Torquemada”. Intended to be the heart of the new IKEA<\/span> home, the Torquemada brings a Jobs twist to the very idea of sitting comfortably.<\/p>\n

\nSteve wants you to sit comfortably…<\/p>\n

\nReaction from confidants has been univerally positive.<\/p>\n

\n“Before me,” writes Walt Mossberg of the Wall Street Journal in a draft obtained by The Register, “is the most beautiful chair I have seen in 25 years of sitting on chairs. It’s another triumph for Jobs. Will that do, Steve?”<\/p>\n

\n“At last, a chair with a point!” punned the New York Times punning technology pundit, David Pogue.<\/p>\n

\nAnd most controversially, is the “B\u00f6n\u00f6” – a titanium object in the shape of a crucifix which emits a high pitched whine when approached.<\/p>\n

\nThe ‘Bono’ is in demand all over the world.<\/p>\n

\nThe UN’s development agency has already purchased 500 for use in Africa, where experts believe it can end droughts.<\/p>\n

\nThe ‘Bono’ turns desert into a river, say sources close to IKEA<\/span><\/p>\n

\nJobs has also plans to revolutionize IKEA<\/span> store layout. The successful dense walkthrough floorplan will be discarded for a new, open plan approach based on Apple’s retail stores. Instead of offering shoppers a choice of thousands of products, IKEA<\/span> stores will offer just three to begin with: the Bono, the Torquemada and the “Fukka”.<\/p>\n

\nJobs has other plans to shake-up the retail chain.<\/p>\n

\nIn every Mac home, a Waenka<\/p>\n

\nTo the relief of many, the flatpack self-assembly aesthetic will be replaced by high margin, ready-assembled furniture. Packaging for a wardrobe codenamed “Waenka” wardrobe, obtained by The Register, shows that Apple’s attention to detail seen in its lavish product packaging has not been lost.<\/p>\n

\nAnd don’t expect the famous IKEA<\/span> canteen to escape the Jobs makeover. Out go the celebrated Swedish meatballs – Jobs is a fruitarian – to be replaced by a thin miso soup garnished by a solitary piece of carrot or tofu: food best enjoyed on while sitting on a “Torquemada”.<\/p>\n

\nJobs is believed to have won over the phlegmatic Swedes with his legendary charm. “It’s time this f***ing business of mass mutha****ing furnishing moved from the f***ing Altair era of f***ing self-f***ing assembly, to the Apple II era,” he told the board.<\/p>\n

\nA new future awaits us. and it’s so inviting, we can hardly wait to be in it. <\/p>\n

—-BTW<\/span> there are some hilarious pictures there if you want to take a look on the site—-<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA | The Register Apple founder Jobs joins IKEA By Andrew Orlowski in San Francisco Published Friday 1st April 2005 09:54 GMT IKEA’s flatpack days may soon be a distant memory, as Apple and Pixar founder Steve Jobs turns to his latest challenge. 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