Oh you’ve felt that you needed a first kiss soon? Dude, no way. We’re all different. Some want it sooner than later, others want it later than sooner.
What? No! Just the desire to even have one in GENERAL!
Ugh! My thoughts have gone haywire!
Oh well it may happen one day.
Now to think of something else. ponies was a dud…aw CRUD I’m out of ideas.
Okay! I’ll explain later why I’m very uneasy with liking girls.
Uneasy with liking girls? That sounds kind of personal. But if you wish to share, then take your time.
It’s actually more of an explanation as to pretty much why Im hating myself for starting to like them.
On top of why I haven’t gotten kissed yet.
My personal attractors to one are a secret as well as who I’ve found cute, what my thoughts there are, and so on blah blah blah!!!
Ah, I see. I guess I’ll leave the details with you then.
Yes cause if I give out too much personal data I explode (didn’t explain it fully there. I have that trouble often.)
Ah, then keep it secret then. Some personal info should only be between you and yourself. Who am I to indulge in information that only belongs to you.
Yep…now the start of it.
Why Im hating myself is simply cause I’m trying not to break a rule.
Wat rule would you be breaking?
Well liking girls has generally no effect on the rule. In fact the rule says nothing about whether or not I should like them.
It’s dating them (when I can’t support them. Once I’ve got a job that restrictor is off. But I won’t just start dating girls willy nilly!).
I was trying to prevent liking them cause liking them leads up to dating them (in my opinion).
I was successful in that.
Till last year and now.
So I’m hating myself cause a crucial element In my protection from future heartbreak has failed (yes it is for my benefit).
This in turn answers the other question.
So that’s cleared…now for me to get my processors reset (I know I speak as if I were a robot but I’ve done that since I was little. And I know full well I’m human).
Yes, in general liking someone does usually lead to dating which can potentially lead to heartbreak. Or even just liking someone alone could still lead to heartbreak. BUT…'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, my good friend. 
I’m not saying I won’t want a girlfriend or that I don’t want one.
Just I don’t want one now. I have too much to do.
Now when I get my job…
I understand, just don’t limit yourself too much. I’m sure you find someone wonderful when you’re ready for that stage in your life. 
I know I’m ready but I have some time to wait yet.
Um…sigh
Is generallized sadness along with a semi-strong desire to have a girlfriend normal?
I just now experienced that.
I dont like where this is going. 
I’m just not sure why you feel sad about it? I mean if there is an actual personal reason why then I understand but otherwise I don’t think you should be sad about wanting a girlfriend! 
I don’t know why but it’s just strangely depressing.
Hmmm, well don’t let it get you down too much! We’re always here to help you out if you need some advice! 
Yeah. Well thankfully its not so depressing I’m thinking of suicide.
Let me tell you from what medical research I have done, shock is NOT a pleasant experience.
Your heart rate rises, you hyperventilate because of acidosis, you pass out as there isn’t enough blood perfusion to the brain, and brain cells start to die cause of lack of oxygen.
Trust me knowing that tells me death isn’t pleasant.
The worst it does to me is make me want to cry whenever I put a sad tune on.
Wow. Well that’s a relief to hear!
I also am not going to commit suicide cause I had a friend do that.
I miss him.