Love it! I love this fanfiction, it just gets better with each new chapter! I can’t wait till you update 
Once again, you got Mater’s dialogue down perfectly. And I like the way you explore Lightning’s other side, unsure and not as confident as usual.
Mater’s actually very fun to mimic! 
I’m glad you and the others at Pixarteers love it! It makes my day every time.
~Chapter 6~
When Lightning entered the examination room with Nurse GTO, Nurse GTO shut the doors. Lightning looked around the room. From Lightning’s point of view, it was so bright that it was blinding. He squinted his eyes. He didn’t see anything but a bright white light. A baby’s cry was heard in the distance. “Lightning…”, whispered Sally’s voice. Lightning smiled. He couldn’t see her. “Are you ready to see your new daughter, Lightning?”, asked Nurse GTO. Lightning looked to his right. He was able to see her. She was smiling. Lightning’s smiles faded a tiny bit. “D-Daughter?”, asked Lightning. “I thought the baby was a…a boy!” Nurse GTO shook her head. “Miracles happen.”, was all she could say. “All of that racing I was going to teach him…”, thought Lightning. “Wasted.” He drove forward and Sally’s image faded in slowly. The bright light was now seen as if it was a really dense fog and you have to be close to an object to see it. “Sally, it’s a girl…”, said Lightning. Sally smiled. “So?”, asked Sally.
“We were told it was a boy by Doc.”
“It was just a mistake.”
“A big one.”
“What’s the big deal?”
“I wanted to teach him racing and all that jazz.”
“Oh, Lightning.” Sally rolled her eyes, playfully.
“What about the room I made for him?”, asked Lightning.
“It’s fine, Lightning.”
The room started to spin. “It’s…”, started Lightning. He started to breath heavily. “It’s not fine…” Lightning closed his eyes. “I’m a father…”
Sally’s smile faded. “I freaked out while I was having the baby too, Lightning. Me? A mom? But then-”
“Hey daddy!”, said Doc’s voice from the foggy unknown. He drove closer to Lightning and Sally and Lightning was able to see him now. There was a very tiny car painted white with its eyes shut on Doc’s hood. It was sleeping. It’s tiny little hood bobbed up and down. “I-Is that?”, asked Lightning. “Yeah.”, said Doc. Lightning smiled. The dense fog he saw disappeared. Everything was clear. He didn’t take his eyes off of his daughter. “But then…what, Sally? You didn’t finish your sentence.”, said Lightning, still not taking his eyes away from his daughter. “But then, I saw her.”, said Sally. Lightning paused for a moment, then nodded. “Yeah…”, he said. “Th-Then I saw her.” Sally smiled. Doc drove close to Lightning slowly. “Bow your hood.”, said Doc. Lightning did what he said. Doc tilted his hood and the baby girl rolled off of his hood and then stopped on Lightning’s. Lightning stared at the baby that was on his hood. Lightning got all choked up. “She’s br-breathing.”, said Lightning. He was able to feel her breath on his eyes and the bobbing of her hood. “Baby cars always start out in their neutral setting until they learn how to switch out of it on their own and drive by themselves. She can’t move unless you move her. She has a coat of white on right now, but soon her natural paint job will fade in.”, said Doc. “Oh, and Lightning?”
“Yeah?”, he answered.
“Name?”
“A n-name?”
Lightning looked at Sally.
“Jenny.”, said Sally.
Lightning smiled. “How about, Jane?”, asked Lightning. “Jane Taylor McQueen?”
“Jane? Jane Taylor?”, asked Sally.
“Jane Taylor…she was the one who wrote Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. I thought it would be nice to name her after her because…she…she’s as beautiful as a star.”
Tears fell out of Sally’s eyes. “That’s a great name.”
“Jane Taylor Carrera McQueen.”, Doc repeated. “Nice choice.”
“Lightning, look!”, Sally called out. Lightning looked in front of him at Jane. Her eyes were closed but her eye lids moved. She cooed. Jane’s eyes slowly started to open. When they were fully open, she looked right into Lightning’s eyes and blinked a few times. Her mouth started to curve. “She…she’s smiling!”, said Lightning. “Smiling! But…”
“But what?”, asked Sally.
“Her eyes…”, said Lightning.
“What about them?”
“They’re two different colors.”
Sally and Doc looked and saw Jane’s right eye was blue and her left eye was green. “Sh-She’s gorgeous!”, Sally said.
“Hm…interesting…”, said Doc.
Jane giggled and started bouncing her shocks up and down. She didn’t bounce up into the air, she was just…bouncing. Lightning giggled. “S-So cute.”, said Lightning. He looked at Sally. Sally was able to feel his stare. She leaned into him and smiled. “I l-love you.”, said Lightning. A tear fell out of his eye. Jane saw it and licked it. She made an “icky” face. Lightning laughed again. “I love you too, so much, Stickers.”, said Sally while giggling at Jane. “Can we take her home?”, asked Sally. “Yes.”, said Doc. Sally bowed her hood to Lightning and Lightning tilted his hood to let Jane go to Sally. When Jane was on her hood, Sally quickly drove out of the examination room to show everyone. The doors swung closed when she left. Lightning was then alone in the examination room with Doc. They heard cheering and "Aww"s from outside the doors. “Doc, I…you said we were having a boy…”, said Lightning. Doc glared at Lightning. “Good luck, daddy.”, was all Doc said and Doc drove away from Lightning to the other side of the room. “Y-You knew, didn’t you?”, asked Lightning. “You knew she was going to be a girl didn’t you?”
Doc turned around again to Lightning and smiled.
“Good luck, daddy.”, he repeated.
[b]A picture is going to be drawn soon :slight_smile: for this chapter.[/b]Very nice how the story’s going! So exciting! I can’t wait to see the picture you’re going to draw for it!
The drawing will be up very soon. I just finished it.
Once again, thanks for another good review!!
Here is the picture I promised:
Wow, this is my favorite chapter yet, it was so beautiful! I’m really glad the baby is a girl, the whole “father having a son that’s exactly like him so he can teach him a bunch of stuff” is a little overplayed. Plus, I think father/daughter relationships are so cute <3 I like how they start off white and then fade into their own colour as they grow. And having them start off in neutral is a good idea, I wondered how they would prevent the baby from hurting itself.
I loved thepicture you drew to go with the chapter, it adds an extra helping of cuteness 
Evil_Genius_27, that’s exactly why I was planning a girl the whole time. 
mwahahaha
I was thinking of drawing a picture for every chapter that I think is a “strong” one. I wish I had the time to do one with every chapter, but it would just make some of them boring.
Hey, I could always draw something up for you if you don’t have the time. I pretty good at that stuff. 
That’s really nice of you, Snipe! You could draw me anything you want whenever you want! In fact, you can even draw your interpretations of the chapters if you would like. Even if I already drew a picture for the chapter. It’s all your choice. I’ll let you.
If you’re going to draw Jade, she’s the same kind of Porsche as Sally. In fact I just started doing that. But you can do it too.
I’m giving you total permission to draw whatever you want with my story.
You could be the author, and I could be the illustrator!
If you would like to, I’m so not stopping you.
Great idea, Snipe!
Wow, jessie, that was excellent! Yeah, sorry for being a little late, but I just finished reading all the chapters you’ve put up so far. I really enjoy your writing, like everyone else said, it’s really good!
You’re really good at portraying some characters very accurately, I think you got Mater spot on. At the same time, I also like how you’re not afraid to explore the other sides of the characters that the film never got into. For example you played into Mcqueen’s insecure, sensitive and troubled side, and you got into Doc’s jerky-ness, reminiscent of his racing days, and I thought that that was awesome!
The thing I like the most about your writing though is that you think like a true Pixarian! What I mean is, the plot is presented an unpredictable fashion that reminds me of Pixar. For example, at the end of chapter 4 when Lightning proposes, I’m pretty sure that every single reader expected for sure that Sally would say yes, because that would be the predicable and idealistic response. I was really surprised when she said no, but I liked that more because that’s probably what would’ve happened in reality if Lightning really was acting that way.
Sorry that post was so long! If there was anything that you should’ve gotten from all the stuff I just said, it is: your fanfic is awesome!
It’s totally fine. There is no reason to be sorry at all. I’m really glad that you enjoy my writing. It’s always nice to see another person like my work. If they do, then I feel like I’ve done my job.
I guess the reason why I’m good at portraying the characters is that I live for this movie. This movie has been my life before it came out and ever since it came out. What you said about me not being afraid of showing another side of a character, no one should be afraid of that. Even if what your writing about that character isn’t even true! Some people don’t like when fanfiction writers go outside of a character’s personality. They forget that it’s a fanfiction. Keyword: fiction. It’s your story so one shouldn’t care what another thinks. (Unless they think it’s good! ) I’m glad you like the way I explained them.
As per what you said about me being a true Pixarian, I’m very flattered. I thank you for that.
Thanks for reading. The next chapter is coming soon.
Hey, sorry it took me so long to do this, but here’s my first drawing:
If you have somewhere else you want me to put it, just tell me and I’ll move it there.
:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:
That is SO funny!!!
I adore it!!! You drew it so good!
Thanks!
awwwww he is adorable! I think that is the cutest rendition of Mater I have ever seen.
I am going to head into the IRC room now if you are still online and want to chat.
I wish I could draw Mater never could!
Thanks guys!
I must say, that little drawing re-ignited me a bit there, you might say. I haven’t created a colored drawing in a long time, and today I got down my art kit I that I haven’t touched in like three years. It’s not that I haven’t drawn in that long, I just haven’t drawn like that. So, thanks again, Jessie!
(hehe, I guess I was trying to see how many times I could use the word “haven’t” )