How To Raise A Racecar

I’m not sure what you mean by that but I tried what I think you meant with my new chapter. :open_mouth:

There’s a reason he sung that song. I didn’t mention why yet on purpose. It’s coming in the next few chapters.

I’ll start doing that. :smiley:

They character’s broke the fourth wall, yes. ;-p I think you’re the first to notice! The lines he was saying were just like the ones he said in the movie. The lines had nothing to do with the birth. The joke was that they were all saying lines that were in the movie so Mater, who says things at the wrong time, thought it was okay to ask if they were quoting the movie on purpose. So he started doing it to be obnoxious.

I did show his appearance. I posted the link somewhere. If I could, I would go back and post the links at the beginning of the thread for all to see. I believe that Snipe posted the link of the page I showed what Bubba looked like / sounded like.

Thank you!!! :smiley:

I should put more of those in. A lot of people liked those little jokes I’ve put in! :smiley: But I thought that if I did too much then the story would have no taste so I haven’t put many in lately.

I did that because I had no idea how to describe it. :laugh: I’m glad you liked the scene where he proposed in the better way. :smiley:

Not at all. :stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks again! :smiley: Oh and please point out more flaws if you can so I can write better. I’m glad someone finally did it. :slight_smile:

Awww so sad and very suspenseful

Yeah :laughing: and Jane is finally driving. :smiley:

OH. MY. GOSH.

YES!!! That was the greatest chapter by far, and possibly the greatest thing I have ever read!

hyperventilates Ok, now that I’ve calmed down a little bit, I can finally begin.

First, I thought it was great how you went into Bubba’s past and showed that he actually has a reason for his psychotic behavior, unlike how a lazy writer would just say that he is plain mad, with no rhyme or reason.

Also, I loved the amount of tension you created with Lightning trying to talk to Bubba at the same time that Sally is dangling over the edge of certain death! I was seriously on the edge of my seat the entire time.

Finally, I thing I liked the most was that you didn’t kill off Bubba. It would have been the easiest thing to do, and you would’ve gotten instant guaranteed satisfaction from your fans, but you knew better than that and delivered something unexpected and way better. As much as I would’ve like for it to happen, killing Bubba would’ve be wrong, because it would go against the morals of Lightning and basically uprooted everything that he has learned from Sally and the rest of the townscars. Thus, (haha I feel like I’m typing an essay or something) in not killing Bubba, you have created an original and unexpected ending that also teaches Lightning himself a lesson: that everyone gets a second chance. And that, Jessie, is truly beautiful.

So, in short, this chapter was virtually flawless. There was action, drama, romance, tension, unexpected twists, and finally, an absolutely amazing climax and resolution worthy of your entire story!

PS: Jane is totally awesome! :stuck_out_tongue:

That was a great chapter! It was very suspenseful!

More about Sam will come later in the story. :slight_smile:

I’m glad you liked it so much! :smiley: Knew you would :wink:

Of course I wouldn’t kill off Bubba. He’s too important in the story!

EDIT: Thanks! I worked super hard on this one. It’s also, the longest one I’ve done.

I guess what I mean is, that the author should explain this within the story itself. If this was a novel or script, side-annotations telling the reader to go online to learn more about a prior character is not feasible. To cater for newcomers, an author should try to describe prior characters and their relationships as succinctly and naturally as possible.

Oh, that’s great! I’ve only read the first thread page, so at least you found that out on your own. :slight_smile:

As I have mentioned to Snipe, its not possible to “post a link” if this were to be a proper novel or script. What you can do is write something along the lines of:

“Bubba was a big, rusty-red Super-Liner tow-truck, with a nastiness as his grand as his size. His deep-throated voice and tobacco-stained teeth gave him an intimidating demeanour.”

This allows the newbie reader who is not familiar with the franchise to build a mental picture of a character he/she has never encountered before. Anyway, this is just a suggestion, and it’s much more fun as a writer to describe and flesh out a character than to count on a reader to know how a character looks like.

Oh no, not too many jokes, please. But I certainly would love if you have more of the poignant scenes like Lightning cradling Jane, or Mater’s words of wisdom, etc. Provided it doesn’t descend into dripping sentimentality (like Lightning crying for five chapters), readers like to see something of themselves in the characters. It’s about connecting to your reader. So scenes like Lightning reacting to Doc challenging his assertion to being a father, or Sally seeking Mater’s advice after Lightning mistreated her, are great, because they reveal the cars as being ‘human’ in a way.

Anyway, just think about my suggestions and see if you can work on it. Thank you for being open-minded and accepting of constructive criticism!

OH. MY. GOD. Why, Lightning, why didn’t you let him die?? That a**hole deserves it!

:open_mouth: :open_mouth: :open_mouth: :open_mouth:

OMGOMGOMGOMG. Best chapter yet Jessie!! I’m so glad I’ve read this before I go. Very suspenseful. I was just sitting there staring at my DS in shock at the evilness of it :shake:

As much as I hate Bubba (or should I say Boob-a) I’m glad you kept him for your story. I can’t wait to find out more about Sam, though I’ll have to wait a while for that one- and a cliffhanger again for a week!

I look forward to catching up on my return! :wink:

Because that’s too mean, no? :slight_smile:

Ami, more about Sam soon. :slight_smile:

Yeah, sorry about that. I’ll edit that some other time.

No I meant I took your advice and did it for the new chapter. :slight_smile:

There will be more of those scenes. :slight_smile: Also, he cries a lot for a reason. The story is far from over and a lot of things were left unmentioned on purpose. Like I said before, I put things in my story in certain ways on purpose. :confused:

It’s not a problem at all. I wasn’t kidding when I said I like critic. You’re not insulting me in any way. :smiley:

Sorry I’m a little late. Hey, excellent chapter! It’s my second favorite so far (my fist was the inroduction of Jane :wink:). Like Ding said, I’m really glad you didn’t kill off Bubba. Yes, he’s a completely reprehensible character, and yes, he deserves it, but like you said, you can still go places with this guy, and I’m interested to see how the story unfolds :smiley:

Just a “heads up” or in this case “hoods up” :wink: The next chapter will kind of hint as to why the title of the story is “How To Raise A Racecar”

Glad you liked it!!!

Wow. Just… wow.

I just caught up with the entire story today, and you have a wonderful way with character. I’m a very audio-based person, and I could imagine each of the characters talking just the way they sound in the movie, which means I could actually see them saying those things. That’s a show of great characterization. I think you’ve done a very, very good job of making everyone hate Bubba. I’m pretty sure it’s because some people like villains that are complete monsters all the way through and some like ones that are redeemable jerks. Bubba makes a transition between the two and so he’s even less likable. That’s how I’d put it anyway.

I really like how the storyline’s going, and while I don’t usually find baby characters cute, Jane is absolutely adorable. Nice work.

Glad you like it! :smiley:

Looking forward to seeing the next chapter of your story by the way. :slight_smile:

Good job, Jessie! That was my favorite chapter yet! I’m glad you knocked a bit of sense into Bubba. The best stories (I think) have the villains turn good, not die. I’m glad with the way the story’s coming out! :wink:

Glad you liked it! :smiley: In the next chapter, you’ll see why the story is called How To Raise A Racecar. :wink:

~Chapter 12~
Lightning, Sally, and Jane were home in the wheel well.
“Do you have all of the decorations?”, Sally asked. She was talking on the phone. She continued to talk but kept pausing to hear the other car on the line.
“Okay so we have the decorations, but what about the cake?..Oh! Lemon!..The flowers lining the town? Pink!..The caterer?..Her name is Flo!..Oh no…yeah…yeah I forgot the music…alright you can get her!..Yeah, me and Lightning do have a song but can she play it?..She can play anything we want?..Alright!! Then our song is great!! I’ll tell her the day of the wedding. All the rest of the details I’ll let you pick out on your own…okay…alright…thanks hun!” She hung up.
Sally drove into the living room. She smiled at what she saw. Lightning was in front of the TV watching ‘Dora The Ford Explorer’ with Jane.
“Come on vamanos!!”, said Lightning, in a baby like voice. Jane started giggling and started dancing and bouncing with the music. When Lightning saw Jane doing that, Lightning danced and bounced with her. Sally backed out of the living room and went into her and Lightning’s bedroom. She picked up a video camera and attached the suction cup to her rim. She slowly drove back to the living room quietly and started recording. “Can you say ‘verde’?”, asked Dora, on the television. Jane struggled with her words.
“Ba-Ba-er-er-dee”, said Jane. Lightning laughed and said in his baby voice, “Right!! Verde!!!”
Sally was holding her laughter back.
“Who do we ask for help when we don’t know which way to go?”, asked Dora. Dora paused her words on the TV for a minute to let the child speak. “The GPS!”, said Lightning, in his baby voice. “Right!”, said Dora. “The GPS!!”
Sally couldn’t hold it in anymore. She busted out laughing. Lightning turned around with a smile on his face. He laughed when he saw Sally with their video camera.
“Sally! What are you doing???”, he asked.
“Exposing you for the soft man you are, Mr. McQueen!”
She was still recording.
“Give me the video camera!”, Lightning playfully demanded. Sally started to act like a woman interviewing Lightning for the news.
“So tell me, Lightning, how long is this journey you’re taking with Jane going to be?”, she asked.
“It’s been postponed until you turn off the camera!”, said Lightning. Sally rolled her eyes, laughed, and said, “You’ll never catch me!!”
“Oh yes I will!”
“No you won’t!”
“Yes I will!”
Sally started to speed around the house and Lightning followed close behind, not catching her on purpose. Jane was watching as they chased each other and she started laughing. Jane smiled and she revved her engine. Lightning and Sally paused and looked at Jane. She started to speed around the house. Lightning’s jaw dropped.
“Jane?”, asked Sally. Jane stopped and looked at Sally. She drove over to her and parked next to her and Lightning. She revved her engine again and pointed at Lightning. Lightning smiled. He revved.
Jane revved.
Lightning revved.
Jane revved.
Sally felt out of place. She looked lost, so she gently revved her engine too. Lightning laughed and said, “Not quite, Sally.”
Sally smiled at stared at Lightning. “I can’t believe it…”, she said.
“What?”, asked Lightning.
“…you know…”
“What? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing…”
Lightning drove close to Sally and kissed her. “Something, Sally…”
“It’s just that…Jane…”
“Yeah?”
“She’s growing up so fast.”
Lightning’s engine sank when he realized she was right. He looked over at Jane. She was spinning in circles very fast.
“Yeah…”, said Lightning gloomily. “Well, tomorrow is our big day.” He smiled. Sally giggled. She kissed him.
“I…have a surprise for you but I’m afraid to show you.”, said Sally.
“No! Don’t be afraid to show me anything.”, Lighting replied.
Lightning stuck his tongue out at Sally. Sally gave Lightning a playful disgusted look and pushed him away.
“Fine!”, said Lightning, playfully. “I need to put Jane to sleep anyway.” He looked at Jane. “Come on, sweetie pie.”
Jane smiled and followed Lightning into her room. Lightning tilted his hood and Jane drove onto it. He lifted Jane and placed her on her little crib. Lightning pushed the bars up with his hood. “Goodnight, Jane.”, Lightning said, softly. Jane put her hood up against the bars and puckered her lips. Lightning looked at this. He could remember Sally doing the same thing to him when he was stuck in the impound. Lightning gently kissed Jane’s lips. “Jane, you do know that daddy loves you.”
Jane didn’t answer. She couldn’t. She didn’t know how.
“Night, darling.”
Lightning drove out of her room and then drove to Sally. “Let’s go to bed, baby.”, said Sally. Lightning nodded. They drove to their bedroom. Lightning and Sally drove onto their mattress. Lightning looked at Sally. He nudged her gently.
“Hey…”, he said. Sally looked at him. “I love you, Sally Carerra McQueen.”
She gasped lightly and smiled. Sally never really thought of their names together that much. She loved the way it sounded.
“Always…and forever?”, she asked. Lightning leaned into her and closed his eyes. He whispered, “To infinity and beyond.”
Sally leaned back into Lightning and closed her eyes. After a few minutes, Lightning and Sally got to sleep. As Sally was dreaming about their wedding tomorrow and how perfect it will be, Lightning was dreaming about something else…


Lightning was parked at the end of the street at the statue of Stanley in Radiator Springs. He looked around the town. It was all decorated for Lightning and Sally’s wedding.
“Wow! Sally! The town is decorated really good for our wedding!”, said Lightning. “Who are you talking to?”, whispered Mater. Lightning looked over to his left. Mater was parked next to him painted in a coat of black. He had a hood too. Doc was parked on Lightning’s right but behind him. Doc was wearing black as well but his bumpers were painted white.
“Doc?”, asked Lightning. “Yes, Lightning?”, asked Doc.
“You look really good!”
“Thanks, Lightning.”
Lightning looked down at his hood which was painted black. He assumed that his whole body was black and he was right. He looked at his tires and he was wearing white walls with golden hubcaps. All of the rest of men wore plain white wall tires and were painted black. Lightning looked over at his right. Four ladies were parked there. Flo, Mia, Tia, and Nurse GTO. All the ladies wore tires that were all white. Literally, all white, with rims made of opal. Also, all of the women, including the four with Lightning, were painted white.
Lightning looked away from the four bridesmaids and down the street. Everything started to fade away.
His dream was changing. Suddenly, he was surrounded by a racing stadium setting. Instead of being on the race track, he was parked in the audience.
“…and here comes McQueen rounding turn four!!”, said Bob Cutlass, the announcers of the race. “MCQUEEN IS GONNA WIN THIS YEAR’S PISTON CUP!!”, yelled Darrel Cartrip, the other race announcer.“McQueen?!”, said Lightning. “But how? I’m over here!”
He looked up at the screen that shows racers up close. A female racer was shown on the screen. She was a white Porsche. The number ‘95’ was on her side painted in black. She had sponsor stickers all over her body. Suddenly, a name appeared on the screen. Lightning read it out loud, “Jane…Taylor…McQueen…?”
Jane zoomed past the finish line.
“WOOOOOOO HOOOO!!! YES!!”, Jane screamed. She drove onto the grass off the side of the track. She turned her tires, slammed on the gas, and started doing donuts. She ripped up the grass from under her tires when she did that which was leaving rings of dirt.
“I WON!!!”, she yelled. The whole audience of cars screamed her name and cheered. Lighting’s eyes widened. He drove out of the audience and on the field.
“Jane!”, yelled Lightning. Bob and Darrel looked over at Lightning.’
“It looks like daddy is coming to give a congrats to Jane!”, said Darrel. Lightning smiled wide, but the audience stopped cheering and Jane stopped doing donuts. Jane looked at Lightning and her mouth dropped open.
“Dad?”, asked Jane. Lightning started driving over to Jane. While he was driving he yelled, “My darling! You’re racing? You race? Oh my-”
“Looks like Lightning finally came back into Jane’s life.”, interrupted Bob. Lightning stopped hard and looked around him. He finally noticed the audience not making any more noise.
“Huh?”, asked Lightning. The whole audience started to ‘boo’ Lightning. Oil cans and food were being thrown and hitting Lightning in the face.
“HEY!..UGH!..STOP!..What are you-…OW!!!..EWWW!!!”, said Lighting, between throws.
Jane started to back away from Lightning.
“Well, you know what they say, Bob, racecars never have time for their kids. They just leave them for their mother to take care of them.”, said Darell. Jane sped away from Lightning and into pit lane.
“Security!”, yelled Jane. A few big trucks crowded Lightning and pushed him away from her.
“Stop! STOP!!!”, Lightning begged.
“LIGHTNING!”, yelled a female voice from behind him. He turned around. It was Sally. “You left us with NOTHING!”, screamed Sally. Lightning gasped. He could barely speak, “No I…I…”
Lightning couldn’t handle it. All of the security around him, his daughter as an adult, Sally yelling at him, and the audience booing him made him crack. He slammed on his gas pedal and sped away. “LIGHTNING! GET OVER HERE!”, yelled Sally. “LIGHTNING! LIGHTNING!!!”


“Lightning? Lightning? Lightning? Lightning!”, said Sally. She nudged him. “Wake up. We need to go to our wedding.”

My goodness. The ending dream was just… wow. Another knockout!

Thanks Forster! :smiley: Glad you liked it!

Great new chapter, Jessie! I especially like the reference to Dora… my little sister loves that show! :smiley: