Intertwined

Fandom Fan Fiction
#5

I liked it for the most part! :slight_smile: It wasn’t really my cup of tea for some reason, but it was nicely written and creative. I like how Holley was in there too. I keep laughing because I had an idea that was nothing like this but had to do with Holley and the meanings of “football” that I was going to try and include in one of my oneshots somehow. I agree, I think “Finn Thompson” is a nice name to give him. :slight_smile:

#6

I loved it! I think you did a really great job with it.

#7

Oh, I loved it! :smiley: I really like stories (like Star Wars) that have two characters meet each other who are unknowingly related in some way. So, is Finn still supposed to be older than Holley? Say, Holley’s in first grade and Finn’s nearing high school? Not really sure how that would work, though. :unamused: And I knew it was Holley there as soon as you said “purple car”. :-D)

Finn’s history and aspirations fit him perfectly. Wasn’t hard to imagine at all. :wink: And like the rest of you said, Thompson was a great choice for a last name. It makes sense too. I mean, why in the world would he have a name like “McMissile”? 8D I was wondering though, would you pronounce it “Tompson” or “Thompson”? I don’t know if any of you would know that, but I’ve always wondered.

I also love how you ended it… “Finn. Finn McMissile.” That was just so perfect. :mrgreen:

And I guess it’s pretty evident, but a “one-shot” is basically a one-chapter short story, right? I’m thinking I might do my own one of those sometime myself… :nerd:

I just realized how much I was rambling on there^. Yeah. :unamused: :laughing: Anyways, awesome story, MissCarrera! :smiley: I give it a 4.8/5. :wink: :mrgreen:

#8

SallyMcQueen: Thanks for reading it anyways! That sounds like a good one-shot idea you got there! 8D

pixarmilan: :smiley: Hey! Good to see you reading this too! Thank you. :slight_smile:

Snipe: “Say, Holley’s in first grade and Finn’s nearing high school? Not really sure how that would work, though.” Yeah, I’m not really sure about that. I realized it afterwards. And I’m not quite sure how the schools run in England so it could be different. Basically I was looking at it from the perspective that Finn isn’t that much older. Say Holley was a little 7 year-old and he was a young teen like 14. That’s a solid 7 year difference, you know?

“I was wondering though, would you pronounce it “Tompson” or “Thompson”? I don’t know if any of you would know that, but I’ve always wondered.” I’m not really sure, but I would love to find out as well! :stuck_out_tongue:

"And I guess it’s pretty evident, but a “one-shot” is basically a one-chapter short story, right? I’m thinking I might do my own one of those sometime myself… " YES. You should! I bet you are a great writer! I’d love to read anything by you. :smiley:

#9

This made me realize that I say “Tompson” not “Thompson.” That’s weird. :laughing:

Oh, please do! I agree with MissCarrera! :slight_smile:

#10

8D I pronounce it “Tom” as well. Just like the name “Thomas”.

#11

Your Welcome MissCarrera.

#12

Yeah, that’s pretty much what I was saying. :wink:

I was pronouncing it that way too. And I’ve actually got a brother named Thomas. :sunglasses:

Thanks. I don’t really have anything though, but I’m thinking about making it about Lightning in his racing days before Cars. :slight_smile:

#13

That sounds great Snipe! I was thinking sometime after my first one-shot is complete that I would start a fan-fic of my own. Not sure when the story would take place but it’ll most likely be in between the two movies.

#14

I think that’s a great idea Snipe.

#15

I agree, both your ideas are great! I encourage everyone to give fan fiction writing a try! :mrgreen:

#16

Thanks! I’m still writing your one-shot request but it should be up over the weekend.

#17

:open_mouth: I can’t wait! No rush though! :smiley:

#18

Yep, I’m in no rush for these one-shots as I’m trying to make them better then what my first fan-fic was.

#19

If I’m honest I enjoyed your first fan-fic Ballboi. I read it yesterday.

#20

Thanks pixarmilan! My idea for doing these one-shots came from those chapters in my fan-fic.

#21

Your Welcome. And I’ll read the one shots when they’re up.

#22

Wait… Ballboi, you already have some stories up? Give me the links, and I’ll go read them! :smiley:

#23

Yeah, I posted a little fan-fic a while ago which is on hold since I’m busy with the one-shots. I’ll edit this post once I find it.

Edit: Found it! It’s actually not that bad for a first try. viewtopic.php?f=24&t=9035

#24

Short and sweet, Miss Carrera! Here are my thoughts:

I really like how you described Finn’s school life within the first few paragraphs. It is quite ironic that he is smart and reserved, yet he is considered an outcast by his peers. I was a bit thrown off when you described the purple car as cornered by “three boys his own age” but then I realised you were referring to Finn. But anyway, I had a feeling it was Holley about halfway through the story.

I was a little disappointed that he didn’t have a cool fight sequence with the bullies, but that would’ve been too predictable, and I like how you simply had them walk away. Not all bullies want conflict, and some are the more passive-aggressive kind who would give up once they’ve been ‘spotted’. It’s also adorable how Finn is such a gentleman and helps Holley retrieve her ball stuck in the thorns (which nicely hints at the title and their relationship). Finn’s younger self kind of reminds me of Anthony Horowitz’ Alex Rider series, which I actually enjoyed reading as a teen, and which has influenced much of my writing style and genres.

So yeah… great ending that hints at the Finn-to-come. Your stories never disappoint, so far, heheh. :stuck_out_tongue: Is this on Fanfiction or deviantART so I can Fave it?