“Take that you funky monkey!”
-Nico, Rio
If you’ve got four names, you must got game.
Deion Sanders,
Jack Sparrow: So what’s your plan, then?
Will Turner: I row over, search the ship until I find your bloody key.
Jack Sparrow: And if there are crewmen?
Will Turner: I cut down anyone in my path.
Jack Sparrow: I like it. Simple, easy to remember.
Dead Man’s Chest
Everything in history happens for a reason.
My history pofessor.
Do you fear death? Do you fear that dark abyss? All your deeds laid bare. All your sins punished. I can offer you… an escape-uh.
Davy Jones, Dead Man’s Chest.
Can I get a binkie for baby bron-bron?
Aldis Hodge, Statefarm commercial
Davy Jones: You have a debt to pay. You’ve been captain of the Black Pearl for thirteen years. That was our agreement.
Jack Sparrow: Technically, I was only captain for two years, then I was viciously mutinied upon.
Davy Jones: Then you were a poor captain, but a captain nonetheless! Have you not introduced yourself all these years as Captain Jack Sparrow?
Dead Man’s Chest.
But tricking the probe by hiding under the bones of another Super? Oh man!!! I’m still geeking out about it…
Syndrome
Gibbs: And what makes you think you’re worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Elderly man: Truth be told, I never sailed a day in me life. I figure I should get out and see the world while I’m still young.
Gibbs: You’ll do. Make your mark. Next!
Jilted man: My wife ran off with my dog. And I’m drunk for a month. And I don’t give a ass rat’s if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect! Next!
One-armed man: Me have one arm, ‘n’ a bum leg.
Gibbs: It’s the crow’s nest for you. Next!
Romantic man: Ever since I was a little lad, I’ve always wanted to sail the seas. Forever.
Gibbs: Sooner than you think. Sign the roster.
Romantic man: Thanks very much.
Jack Sparrow: How we going?
Gibbs: Including those four? That gives us… four!
Dead Man’s Chest.
“I will harvest your organs with my thumb.”
Erica Reed, breakout kings
Elizabeth Swann: Captain Sparrow!
Jack Sparrow: Come to join me crew, lad? Welcome aboard.
Elizabeth Swann: I’m here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: I’m deeply flattered, son, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: Elizabeth… [to Gibbs] Hide the rum. You know, these clothes do not flatter you at all. It should be a dress or nothing. I happen to have no dress in my cabin.
Dead Man’s Chest
I once had to hide in a cake… never mind.
Hetty, NCIS LA
Jack Sparrow: My tremendous intuitive sense of the female creature informs me that you are troubled.
Elizabeth Swann: I just thought I’d be married by now. I’m so ready to be married.
Jack Sparrow: You know… Lizzy… I am… captain of a ship. And being captain of a ship, I could in fact perform a… marriage. Right here. Right on this deck. Right… now!
Elizabeth Swann: No, thank you.
Jack Sparrow: Why not? We are very much alike, you and I. I and you. Us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor, and decency and-and a moral center. And personal hygiene.
Dead Man’s Chest.
Alan: “My Grandpa died during WWII, and I don’t think I could deal with any more death”
Phil: “In battle?”
Alan: “No, skiing in Vermont. It was during WWII though”
-The Hangover
Elizabeth Swann: Why doesn’t your Compass work?
Jack Sparrow: Uh my Compass works fine.
Elizabeth Swann: Because you and I are alike, and there will come a moment when you have a chance to show it. To do the right thing.
Jack Sparrow: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
Dead Man’s Chest.
“A heart’s a heavy burden.”
- Sophie, Howl’s Moving Castle
Pintel: You’re pullin’ too fast.
Ragetti: You’re pulling too slow. We don’t want the Kraken to catch us.
Pintel: I’m savin’ me strength for when it comes. And I don’t think it’s Krack-en, anyways. I always heard it said Kray-kin.
Ragetti: What, with a long A?
Pintel: Aye.
Ragetti: No-no-no-no-no-no-no. Krock-en’s how it’s pronounced in the original Scandinavian, and Krack-en’s closer to that.
Pintel: Well we ain’t original Scandinavians, are we? Kray-ken!
Ragetti: It’s a mythological creature, I can calls it what I wants.
Dead Man’s Chest.
Daffy: “Yes, we’re best friends! We do everything together!”
Bugs: “That’s because I’m the one with the credit card”
Daffy: ignores “Who has the what now?”
-The Looney Tunes Show
Norrington: You actually were telling the truth.
Jack Sparrow: I do that quite a lot. Yet people are always surprised.
Dead Man’s Chest.
“Stay in school, eat your veggies, and burn all the books that ain’t Shakespeare.”
- Rango