Yeah that’s why I put them in my story. 
I guess you’ll just have to wait and see what happens! Muahaha 
You’re making my brain explode!
I just started reading your fanfic, Rayhawk, and I love it! I read chapters 1-5 already. It’s really awesome how you did a Finding Nemo fic, seeing as those are so rare, and Finding Nemo happens to be one of my favorite Pixar films, right up there with Cars.
I really enjoy your writing style, I like how you keep the prose concise and to the point, so readers won’t have to wade and sift through mounds of unnecessary text. I also like how you keep the writing mostly dialogue, and then you have the reader figure out what’s going on, because I can just picture and hear all the characters talking and it’s also more natural that way.
I hope you don’t mind a little constructive criticism, but in chapter 1, you wrote:
Usually in narrative, you’re not really supposed to write in second person, or at least, it sounds a little bit awkward to do so. This is just nitpicking, really, and is nothing major at all.
Anyway, awesome job. Chapter 5 was intense! I’m hooked!
Thanks so much Ding! Happy to see you’re just getting into it and enjoying it!
I really wanted to focus on dialogue since there are just so many characters. I hoped to catch the essence of each character and their individual personalities and differences.
As for the second person point of view, that was intentional as that first paragraph is merely supposed to be an introduction, not directly related to the story or dialogue. Hope that makes you feel better 
Wow, Rayhawk, this is great! I hope Peach turns out okay though.
So are you all sad? Anxious? Well no more waiting! Here’s the next chapter! 
Chapter 6: A Miracle
The tank gang swam, crowding around Peach wondering if she was still alive.
“No. No. No. This can’t be.” Gill laid next to Peach with his lucky fin on Peach’s hurt arm, crying. The whole gang had a sullen look on their faces. Peach was not breathing.
Slice was in denial of what just happened. What he thought would be a joy ride through the open ocean was, in fact, his worst nightmare. Even though he had just met Peach, she was as much family to him as was his mother and father. He shed a tear at the sight of Peach.
As each tear was shed by every team member, the dark depths of the ocean seemed to open up. A ray of line of the sunset shone from the surface of the ocean down to the sand at which they laid, an almost impossible occurrence. The light shone right down to Peach as the seaweed around her cleared and opened up.
At that moment, Peach began to cough. It was a miracle.
At the sound of the cough, everyone’s eyes brightened up, moving their eyes to take a look at what was occurring.
“Where am I?” whispered Peach, still coughing intermittently. Her eyes opened up to the world around her.
“YOU’RE ALIVE!” yelled the whole group swimming in towards Peach to commence in a group hug. Peach smiled brighter than perhaps she ever had before. She felt the warmest she had ever felt in her life, surrounded by her friends.
After everyone was settled and the situation was described to Peach, the gang settled down to where Peach was. It was late and they were ready to rest up for their next day of travelling.
Peach’s wound had been wrapped up by Gurgle, Deb, and Slice with a softer variety of seaweed found where the light had shone before.
After each fish had found a place to settle down and said their goodnights, Peach spoke to the group.
“What you did out there, all of you, was truly heroic,” said Peach. “Thank you all. You guys aren’t just my friends, I can truly call you my family. A family is forever.”
Everyone sported grins on their face as they fell into a peaceful sleep, aware of the deep love connection between each of them.
It’s a good thing her arm was just wounded, and not completely severred, or else they’d have two Peaches. And then if that one got hurt, they’d have three, and so on and so on until they had an entire army of Peaches! Millions and millions of Peaches! 
Great chapter Rayhawk, I’m really glad Peach is okay.
Intense.
Well then! Glad to see you guys liked the last couple chapters! Here we go with another This one is fun too!
Chapter 7: Finding the EAC
“Wake up sleepy heads! It’s time to get going!” yelled Slice. Even after the incident that had just happened, Slice was still excited to go farther in his adventure with the gang. “We’ve got to find the EAC! The EAC! WHOOPEE!”
The rest of the gang was still lying on the sea floor, slowly opening their eyes. They weren’t all that motivated.
Bloat opened his eyes, realizing he had been holding Peach’s wounded arm throughout the whole night. He looked around and quickly took his hand away from her, in order to avoid any confusion with the other members of what this gesture meant. Peach, eyes still closed, smiled.
“Ah, nothing like the youth,” said Bloat. “I wish I was that full of energy from the moment I woke up.”
Finally, Gurgle, Bubbles, Jacques, Deb, Peach, and Gill opened their eyes and rose off their backs.
“He’s right, though,” said Gill, “Slice is right. We need to find the EAC.”
“We’ve been travelling for quite some time now so it must be close, right?” questioned Bubbles. “It seems like we’ve been swimming for ages.”
“Yeah,” said Gurgle, “you are right. I’ve been keeping track and it’s almost been 3 days. We can’t be that far away. I positioned a rock before we all went to sleep in order to remember the direction in which we have to travel. It’s right over there.”
The gang glanced over to where Gurgle had pointed, but didn’t see anything. They all had blank looks on their faces.
“I mean over there!” Nothing. “Or over there!” Nothing again. “Oh, silly me, it must be right here!” Once again, Gurgle found no remnants of any rock he had placed the night before.
“Oh, great. So we have an injured starfish and now we have no idea where to go to reach the EAC, our only way back to Nemo,” said Bloat.
Peach slowly moved upwards from her back, Bloat holding her, and said a few words. “Well, from the looks of our surroundings, these ripped pieces of seaweed and the stress marks of the sand on the ground indicate the shark attack was in back of where we are now. In conclusion, we must move forward if the direction from which we got attacked was the direction we were heading to reach the EAC.”
“Wow Peach! I didn’t know you were that smart!” yelled Slice.
“You get used to it,” laughed Gill. Then it is decided, we’ll head forward in hopes of finding the EAC. It’s our best bet.”
The gang crowded around Peach, holding each arm to help her up. The seaweed was stilled wrapped around her wound. Bloat held her and the gang swam off into the distance.
They passed thousands of fish migrating beneath them and thousands more above them. They could hear the chit chatter of all the travelers and even passed families of cod, lobster, and other various sea creatures. It seemed as if the sea was hustling and bustling more here than they had ever seen before.
“Are we there yet?” asked Slice.
“No,” answered Gurgle.
“How about now?”
“Not now either.”
“And now?”
“Slice, I will tell you when we-“
The gang swam over a huge rock formation and they caught a glimpse of what looked like a huge snake made of bubbles. They had reached the East Australian Current.
Good chapter.
I really like how Slice is so eager to continue on despite just having been attacked by a shark and seeing a new family member severely wounded. It really is a testament to his character.
I also enjoyed Peach saving the day. No shark bite can keep her down!
Thanks so much!
In my mind, Peach is one of the strongest members of the gang. I really see her as someone who never gives up, no matter what, as you can see from her wounded arm.
Plus I just love how she’s so smart
Same! Gill’s response to Slice’s surprise was funny.
May I also add that I love how Slice mirrors Nemo in many ways?
ding ding ding +100 cool points to love70ways!
When I was creating Slice’s character, I wanted him to resemble Nemo in a couple key ways. It plays into the story later
Peach is so matter-of-fact; she reminds me of my old English teacher Loved the newest chapter, can’t wait to see what you come up with next
Here’s the new chapter! A very hilarious one! 
Enjoy and tell me what you liked!
Chapter 8: Rock On, Dude!
“WOAH! I think we’re there now!” shouted Slice. This was the most exciting thing he had ever seen in his life. It was way too much for him to take in as he was close to hyperventilating.
“It truly is remarkable. I remember my old friends talking to me about it, but I never witnessed it myself. Wow,” said Gill. He had a moment to himself when he realized how amazing the ocean really is. He was glad to be sharking the experience with his friends by his side.
“Well, if you all are done marveling over how cool it is, which it really is, I’m ready to travel on it and find Shark Bait!” said Jacques. Jacques rarely ever spoke, so when he did, everyone listened to what he had to say to them.
“He’s right,” said Peach, “let’s go!”
And they were off, into the huge transportation system. As they got closer and closer, hundreds, if not thousands, of figures in the EAC became visible.
“Are those TURTLES?” yelled Peach. “I’ve heard so much about them! I’d love to see them swim in their natural habitat!”
“And look what else is there, BUBBLES!” screamed Bubbles. “My bubbles! They’re all my bubbles!”
The whole gang laughed with excitement as they reached the entrance into the EAC.
“Bloat, you keep holding on to Peach, Gurgle you watch out for Slice, and we’ll all jump in on my word. Ready? 1… 2… 3… GO!”
The team threw themselves into the current, twirled around quite a bit, and stopped in shock of what was around them. They were zooming through the ocean faster than they ever had been before, surrounded by families of turtles.
“Woah, dude! Watch where you’re swimming! Wouldn’t want to hurt any little hatchlings!” shouted a mysterious turtle. “Oh, sorry little dudes! I forgot to introduce myself. My name’s Crush and I’m surfing the EAC in hopes of helping other little dudes with their travels!”
“Nice to meet you, Crush!” said Peach. “We actually could use some help. We’re on our way to find a place to settle down and live. You see, we have a friend named Nemo-“
“NEMO! You know that little dude? I helped his dad and his blue friend find Nemo before! Good to see they found him! That’s totally wicked!”
“Yup, that’s us that his dad was looking for,” said Gill. “We were very good friends with Nemo.”
“Well why didn’t you say so before? I know where the cute little orange dude lives! My son lives with Nemo and his dad! The direction is actually not too far off from here. You guys are going to have to take an exit very soon; it’s the swirly one right up there.”
“You mean THAT one?” yelled Gurgle. “The one that looks like it’ll plummet us all to our DOOM? That’s way too dangerous!”
“No, dude! It’s all chill! I’ll give you all a push and you’ll be on your way. It’s coming up soon though, so prepare yourselves!” shouted Crush.
Gill latched on to Bloat and Peach who held on to Slice who also grabbed a hold of Gurgle, Bubbles, Deb, and Jacques.
“OK, ready? Make sure you tell my little hatchling, Squirt, that I said hello and that I’ll be back to visit him soon! HERE YOU GO!” he pushed them into the swirly exit. “AND REMEMBER, ROCK ON, DUDE!”
Yes! Just what I wanted! A cameo from Crush! He was the funniest character in Finding Nemo, and you channeled him really well here Rayhawk Excellent chapter.
Thanks Evil_Genius_27! Glad to hear you thought the chapter was excellent!
And I agree, Crush was definitely one of the coolest, if not the coolest, Finding Nemo characters.
Aww chapters 7&8 wer great!
Chapter 8 was adorable putting Crush in it xD
Thanks so much jessie! Glad to hear it!
And it seems like Crush was a big hit for everyone!