It’s so awkward to watch [i:22ywpsp7]Kim Possible[/i:22ywpsp7] here, in my country, because everyone’s like, "Ew. You watch [i:22ywpsp7]Kim Possible[/i:22ywpsp7]? That girly show?" Even the nicest guy would go, "Oh, I see, [i:22ywpsp7]Kim Possible[/i:22ywpsp7], right" without the "Ew." That’s why I stayed away from [i:22ywpsp7]Powerpuff Girls[/i:22ywpsp7] for a while now. ![:-\]( "Bemused")
How about this… Stop with the stupid reality shows. I am so sick of this stupid nonsense with the stupid phony marriages for money, the munchkin bachelor crap and anything that has to do with greedy dummies who will degrade themselves for cash. And that [i:22ywpsp7]Simpleton Life[/i:22ywpsp7] with the "French Hilton" woman and that other illegitimate girl. How come these dumb girls didn’t get trampled by stupid cattle on that farm? I’m so sick of some pseudo-attractive bimbo selling her soul because she’s freaking stupid.
You want reality? How about a reality show where you oil up that Hilton girl and throw her naked butt into an all male jail cell filled with serial killers and sadists. Give them a bunch of twelve-inch sharp objects and let 'em loose. Yeah. Welcome to reality! And don’t give me that "You’re so cruel" nonsense. Not only would you have a reality show that people would actually want to watch, but you also have a great start for a series on an all new network called [i:22ywpsp7]The Snuff Channel[/i:22ywpsp7]. You Pick 'Em We Kill 'Em. The whole channel would be dedicated to the elimination of a freaking moron every half-hour! I would be personally involved in every show and would work overtime to ensure that forty-eight idiots were removed from society every day. See, I have ideas.
Oh, and this stupid [i:22ywpsp7]Fearie Factor[/i:22ywpsp7] nonsense. Oh, woopdee-doo. Eat a bunch of liquefied rats and we’ll give you three-thousand dollars. I’m so sick of these shows that try to induce fear. You want to see fear? How about I sit your stupid contestants in a small room and chain 'em down naked into metal chairs that are wired to a heating system? What you do is you turn up the heat slowly over a thirty-two hour period, slowly increasing the amount of heat conducted through the metal chairs until it’s as hot as a branding iron. And once they’ve passed out due to the extreme pain brought about by a thirty-two hour burning flesh fest, hang 'em on a wall by their arms in a room where the only visible thing is a sign that says, "You have this much time left to live." with a countdown underneath, starting at twenty-four hours and counting down by the second. So now they’ve got to hang there, just watching the clock, wondering… What’s going to happen… How are they gonna die… Will it be worse than the heating chair?.. No one knows… Once the clock gets down the final seconds you turn on the lights and yell "Surprise!". And if they don’t die of a heart attack, you hit 'em in the face with a large pie. Sit back, all laugh, pretend it’s all a joke. Lull them into a false sense of security by saying, "You’ve won ten million dollars!"
Then, take out the razors and salt. You put one cut on their body, two inches long, every fifteen minutes. And then hire some toothless bum to slowly tear open the wounds with his filthy fingernails while pouring salt in the cuts at the same time. I could go on, but I think that’s a little too much reality for some of you. And I don’t want to read about "How sick and twisted you, your ideas and concepts are." You don’t like it, too bad. If television had some decent shows to occupy and entertain my mind, I wouldn’t have such demented thoughts. So, it’s your fault, not mine. Welcome to reality TV, jerks!
~ Your lord and master, Flare
