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A Potential Fanfiction.

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A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby S 330 » Thu Dec 27, 2012 11:41 am

I told myself that I would never write another fan fic. guess i was wrong.

unfortunately, this fiction actually spins off of Wreck It Ralph (and this was a better place to put it than in the other disney forum).
really, i'm not planning on writing heavily on this one. mainly, I just wanted to get an interesting Idea I had onto virtual paper.
so here's my rather short and drafted work. Doesn't flow that easily but after all, It's not something I am officially writing.

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Prologue
"George..." A voice seemed to say faintly in the back of a 15 year old's mind.
all the 15 year old could see was a blur
"Geeeeooooooorrrrrrgggggeeee!!!!!!!" The voice said faintly again. only this time it sounded much louder.
"GEORGE!!!" The voice shouted out of the blue waking the kid from a very vivid daydream.
"H-huh?!" The kid mumbled.
"Finally I get your attention! Where do you go in that head of yours?" Another kid, only one year older, said.
"Oh...Uh." The kid, known to his entire class as George, said.
"Nowhere really."
The older kid shook his head.
George Reddleson was a relatively average kid of about 15 years. He was an excessive day dreamer though...often imagining himself in games and movies that he had played and seen.
"Anyways George. We're heading down to the local arcade after school ends. you gonna come?" the older kid said.
George gave the kid a nod and looked forwards again, Only to hear the bell ring to signify the end of the school day.

Chapter 1: locked in.

"Great!" George muttered to himself as he tried to open the doors of the arcade. George had gotten himself locked inside the arcade after having hit his head hard on the arcade bathroom's cabinet. He had passed out and only up until the past couple of minutes had he woken up much less become oriented. with the rain pouring heavily outside the windows, George tried to look through the gloomy globs of water but he could barely see as far as the opposite sidewalk. With a tighten of the belt on his trench coat, George started to look around desperately for an exit.
He found nothing for a while until a couple of large doors in the opposite side of the large room caught his eye. George walked over to them and opened them to reveal yet another room filled with other arcade machines. however, these machines were shut down. lifeless...as they had been unplugged for years. George looked at the different names that sat plastered on the side of the games. Asteroids, Centipede, and thousands of other 8-bit resolution games that he couldn't read due to the low light level.
George immediately redirected his attention from the machines to the other corner where here, he saw the most peculiar looking machine. it wasn't an arcade machine at all but instead it looked like some sort of large ray gun. George walked up to it forgetting his search for an exit and gave it a small touch on the tip.
"Trippy." George said as he simply let his finger roll off of the point.
George resumed his search for an exit with only a small incoherent mumble to follow.
"Where is that door?" He said to himself as he tripped over multiple large cables that lied on the floor. He struggles to stay upright and clattered amongst cans and bottles and buckets. his hand accidentally flipped a switch on a console and pressed multiple buttons nearby. George stopped walking only to hear a loud whirring coming from behind.
"What in the...?" George said before turning around to see a blue light cloud his vision.
Suddenly, George felt like he was rapidly moving towards the machine. when George opened his eyes again, he found himself traveling in a bright tunnel filled with bluish colored 1's and 0's. twist upon twist and turn upon turn, George screamed at the top of his lungs only to suddenly see a white dot and feel an abrupt halt.
George picked himself up to find himself standing on a marble floor.
"Th-That was weird." George stammered as he walked slowly towards a pair of escalators.
it was not long before George had walked through a large archway into a bustling station lobby. However, the sight that George beheld was enough to send George into panic.
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby little_chef_eva09 » Thu Dec 27, 2012 9:07 pm

Would this be considered a Wreck-It Ralph fan fic, or a Pixar-related one? The only reason I ask is because it was posted in the Pixar fan works section. Just want to make sure it gets put in the right place, because we do have the non-Pixar fan works board, as well! :)

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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby S 330 » Fri Dec 28, 2012 7:03 am

little_chef_eva09 wrote:Would this be considered a Wreck-It Ralph fan fic, or a Pixar-related one? The only reason I ask is because it was posted in the Pixar fan works section. Just want to make sure it gets put in the right place, because we do have the non-Pixar fan works board, as well! :)

little chef

It would be wreck it ralph but i couldnt figure out where to put it.
And couldn't find the disney fanwork subforum.
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby little_chef_eva09 » Fri Dec 28, 2012 6:04 pm

Well, we don't have a sub-forum specifically for Disney fan works, but they usually just go in the non-Pixar board. :) Don't worry, I'll move it to the right place for ya!

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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby thedriveintheatre » Sat Dec 29, 2012 3:38 pm

Not bad a beginning, so far. It might help to describe this George character in more detail, maybe a few sentences on his appearance, demeanour, is he a video game nerd, etc. Also, I've no idea how this ties in to the movie, it seems closer to TRON, imho. My understanding is that George is a human, who picked up a ray gun and got transported into the video game world somehow?

Other than that, do continue. It has potential so far!
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby S 330 » Sat Dec 29, 2012 6:41 pm

thedriveintheatre wrote:Not bad a beginning, so far. It might help to describe this George character in more detail, maybe a few sentences on his appearance, demeanour, is he a video game nerd, etc. Also, I've no idea how this ties in to the movie, it seems closer to TRON, imho. My understanding is that George is a human, who picked up a ray gun and got transported into the video game world somehow?

Other than that, do continue. It has potential so far!

Kind of the basic idea. It takes a Tron concept and pushes him into the games at the arcade wreck it ralph is in.

Part of the reason its not so fleshed out is mainly because i was just jotting down ideas on paper at that point. I'll continue working on it and re-write the beginning so that it is better.
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby thedriveintheatre » Tue Jan 01, 2013 6:04 pm

S330: Ah, I see. Well, here's a suggestion: Begin with the end in mind. Some writers like to 'wing it' - I sometimes do that with my first draft of fanfics, but I find it easier to write knowing where I'm going so that I don't deviate from my central theme.

If you notice, most stories, be it in movies, TV shows, books, have a message. It doesn't have to be a moral, it can simply be a character doesn't learn anything, but he/she has to be different at the end than from the start. So if, for example, I wanna write a really cool story about a bank robbery, it's not enough going in that, oh, I'm gonna have a lot of explosions, and a car chase or two, with maybe some witty dialogue thrown in.

I have to have an end goal - the robbers are doing it to get money to save their orphanage from closing down, or a lone robber does it because he craves attention, or maybe it's a former employee who is getting revenge on the company who laid him off without a pension. They have to have a mission or objective that the audience can get behind (or be against), not just stumble into the bank because they needed money for an undefined reason.

So, here, I think you need to figure out why is this George character so enamoured with video games and movies? Is it some form of escape for him, or maybe he mixes with people who like that sort of thing? Why was he locked in the arcade? Also, add some spice to this guy. Maybe he's such a geek that he can recite all the combo moves for a fighting game, or has the high scores on all the racing games in the arcade. Or maybe he was teased for playing at the arcades instead of playing sports, and he wants to abandon his passion. Something like that. You gotta win the audience over, convince them that this guy is interesting enough that they want to continue reading to find out what happens to him, otherwise they're not gonna care.

Just constructive crit, it's good that you're thinking things through, but it's better to present your final version to your audience instead of rough drafts, unless you state up front that it is meant to be so. Keep it up! :)

P.S. Also, no need to quote my entire post if you're direct-replying me. Just address me like what I've done here. If you want to point out a certain part of someone's post, then yeah, quoting would be fine. It just keeps the threads neater and less cluttered.
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby S 330 » Wed Jan 02, 2013 1:05 am

I kind of get the idea. I'm an author. I know how to make a plot. This is just a basic idea of one thing I thought of and will probably expand on it here soon.
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby thedriveintheatre » Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:00 pm

Ah okay, I'm sorry if I sounded like I was stating the obvious. But yeah, looking forward to it!
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Re: A Potential Fanfiction.

Postby S 330 » Wed Jan 02, 2013 7:56 pm

thedriveintheatre wrote:Ah okay, I'm sorry if I sounded like I was stating the obvious. But yeah, looking forward to it!

It did but that's okay! It's good to be reminded every now and then.

It might be a bit delayed every now and then because I'm working on an animation project, and im scoring some music for another project (not to mention the buttload of other books and short stories i've got to finish up or at least work on). But i will try to write this in my free time.
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