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An Incredible Christmas

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Postby Al-Bob » Fri Dec 19, 2008 2:42 am

very nice...i can't picture the entire family doing that kind of singing but i guess they do have some talent for singing. The one song i never saw was "O Holy Night"...i love that one. But that won't go on the review so anyhow. I really like how you tried to incorperate the family members with the songs they sang.
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Fri Dec 19, 2008 3:00 am

Al-Bob: I only put in songs I I either really loved or liked. I never really liked O Holy NIght. It isn't my favorite Christmas song.
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Postby Al-Bob » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:07 am

really?

I have three versions of it i like so its one of my favorites.

Can't wait to see what the sixth-last day of Christmas are going to be about...they are very intruiging and keep the reader plugged in.
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:12 am

You'll enjoy it. I know you will Al-Bob. :wink:
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Postby Al-Bob » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:15 am

thanks...i'm sure i will :wink: .
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Fri Dec 19, 2008 6:19 am

Anyone else wanna comment before I post the next chapter?
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Sat Dec 20, 2008 1:07 am

Chapter 6: The Sixth Day of Christmas

Dash woke up on the sixth day. He rubbed his eyes and looked out the window. His eyes immediately darted open from what he saw. He rushed to everyone’s room, waking them up.

“IT’S SNOWING! IT’S SNOWING!!!”

Violet, Helen, and Bob all jumped out of their beds and made their way toward the window. They were astounded to see white snow flakes falling from the sky. Even Jack-Jack was awed by the falling snow.

“What are we going to do today dad?” Violet asked.

Bob smiled. “Get changed everyone.”

Everyone was quite puzzled of Bob’s plan, but they went to their rooms and put on some warm clothes. Bob went into the garage and started the car. Helen placed Jack-Jack inside and then took a seat in the front. Violet and Dash followed after her. Bob drove the car out of the garage and into the snowing Metroville. They drove a couple minutes down the road until they came across a huge frozen lake. Helen, Violet, and Dash smiled at Bob’s idea.

They got out of the car and went to the ice-skate rental shop. Half an hour later, the family exited the place with some skates. After putting them on, the family stepped on to the ice and began skating. Helen carried Jack-Jack in her arms, holding on to her husbands hand. Violet skated calmly and placidly behind her parents. Dash, however, sped around the lake as if he were in the Olympics. By the time he made one revolution around the lake, his mother grabbed him by his shoulder.

“Dash, please stick together. You could get tired. Don’t use all of your energy.”

Dash sighed. “But going slow bores me.”

Violet giggled. She then bumped into someone. She landed on her behind with a thud.

“Oh my goodness, I am so sorry.” she apologized, stumbling to her feet, nursing her behind.

“You don’t have to Vi.” said the person.

Violet looked up and her eyes began to glitter. “Hi Tony!”

She gave him a huge hug. Tony looked around, embarrassed. “Violet, there are people staring at us.”

She giggled. Both stared in each other’s eyes. After that, Vi grabbed Tony’s hand and both skated happily together.

Helen and Bob witnessed the whole thing. “Isn’t this romantic honey?” asked Helen.

Bob grunted. “Just so long as he doesn’t take her so far.”

“Bob!” gasped an exasperated Helen.

“What? I’m just concerned.”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

A couple hours passed. Everyone was enjoying themselves. Then, Dash skated to his parents. He was panting heavily.

“Mom, dad. . . help.”

Helen placed her hands on her hips. “Well, I told you not to go all out.”

“No mom. . .” huffed the young boy. “Someone. . . needs help. . .”

WHAT?!” wondered Bob.

“HELP ME!!!” someone cried.

Jack-Jack saw the person in need and started to reach his arms out to him. The baby began to wail. Helen noticed this and gazed her eyes at what Jack-Jack was reaching to.

“Bob, look!”

In the middle of the frozen lake, a young boy was drowning. Apparently the ice broke from under him. Bob, Helen, and Dash ran and found a place to change.

Meanwhile;

“Oh my God! Someone’s gotta do something!” said Tony. He looked around but noticed one thing missing. “Violet. . . Violet. . . Violet where did you go?”

Inside Tony’s mind, he wanted to panic. There was a boy, crying for help. He was too afraid to move. He then clenched his fist and raced out to help the boy. Tony dashed to him. The ice started to crack from under him. It isolated, stranding the teenaged boy in the middle of the lake. The boy grabbed on to the ice that stranded Tony and he pulled him on.

“Hang on there boys.” said a voice.

It was Mr. Incredible. He grabbed the isolated ice and lifted it up before it could drift any farther. He lifted them up in the air. Unfortunately, Tony lost his balance and fell into the lake.

“TONY!!!” cried Invisigirl.

She jumped into the lake and swam after Tony. The water was freezing cold. She had to summon all of her courage and energy to swim under after him. Once she got to him, she grabbed his body and clenched to him tight. From above the surface, Elastigirl reached under and grabbed the two teens. She fished them out of the water. A drenched Invisigirl and Tony landed on the ice. They were shivering and freezing. Mr. Incredible carried Tony and Elastigirl carried her daughter inside the ice skate shop. Inside, there was a blazing fireplace. The two Supers placed the two teens in front of the fire. Elastigirl then wrapped the two in thick blankets. Soon enough, Invisigirl’s and Tony’s body temperature began to rise. Speedster then came in with two cups of hot cocoa. The two began to sip on the hot drink. When that was finished. Tony and Invisigirl gave each other a nice tender hug.

“Thank you for saving my life.” whispered Tony. Invisigirl simply blushed.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Meanwhile, everyone outside was relieved that the boy was going to be okay. However, they were quite saddened that the lake was now broken and unsafe to skate on.

“Hey everyone, chill out. I got this problem fixed.”

It was Frozone. He walked up to the lake and fired a beam of ice from his hand. The second it touched the water, it became frozen solid and sturdy. The people cheered as Frozone skated away.

An hour later, the Incredibles were applauded by everyone there. Smiles of joy were planted on everyone’s face. Each member of the family took a bow and headed into the Incredibile. Mr. Incredible started the car and drove away.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The Incredibles celebrated six Christmas Days:

Sixth day, ice skating,

Fifth day, caroling,

Fourth day, they’re giving,

Third day, they’re shopping,

Second day, they’re wishing,

And the first day, they decorate a tree.
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Sun Dec 21, 2008 1:04 am

Chapter 7: The Seventh Day of Christmas

Snow continued to fall the very next morning. Dash looked outside. He saw cars trying to move along the slippery road. He saw neighbors shoveling their driveways and walkways. Dash looked at his own driveway and saw his father shoveling.

Bob dug into a large chunk of snow and shoveled it out on to the lawn. Dash continued to watch his dad. Finally, Bob was finished. The Parr family driveway and walk was clean and clear. Bob went into the garage and put his shovel away. Dash ran down the stairs to greet his father.

“Nice job dad. Other driveways are still covered in snow. Some folks have given up already.” he said.

Bob smiled and rubbed his son’s hair. “You know, one should not be working at a time like this.” said Bob. “The snow is beautiful. We should enjoy this.”

Suddenly, a thought struck Violet. “I know! Today, why not play in the snow?”

“How?” wondered Dash with a perplexed look.

Helen grinned. “Honey, there is so much we can do. Go skiing, sledding, have snowball fights, make snowmen. . .”

Dash was convinced enough. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s go!!!”

Bob, Helen, Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack got dressed into some warm clothes, then made their way to the car. Bob placed an old sled and even a snowboard in the trunk. Then, he drove it out of the garage and on to the driveway.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The drive was a half an hour long. Soon, Bob drove up to a wide open area of snow. There were two small hills and one large one, about the size of a house. Later, another car drove up, two people stepped out of the car.

“Yo Bob, Helen, Vi, Speedo, Jack-Jack.”

It was Lucius. He went up to the family and shook hands with them. Then, a very small woman walked up to them.

“Dahlings, just because I’m short, doesn’t mean I don’t exist.”

The family smiled and greeted Edna Mode as well. After that, Bob went to retrieve their stuff from the trunk. He placed the sled and snowboard on the snow. Everyone made their way to the vast open of snow.

First, they all had a snowball fight. It was Bob, Dash and Frozone versus Helen and Violet. Edna did not want to participate, so she decided to take care of Jack-Jack and watch.

First, the five Supers constructed two forts, one for Bob’s team, another for the other. With Bob’s strength, Dash’s speed, and Lucius’s ice powers, they created two of the most indestructible snow forts of all. The two teams went behind their own forts.

Helen and Vi might have been out numbered, and it might been guys vs girls. However, this snowball fight turned out to be a pretty even match.

First, Bob hurled giant snowballs at the other team. They were about the size of boulders. Dash rapidly threw small snowballs at them. And Lucius blasted his ice beam at the other team.

The two females’ strategy was simply this: Violet’s force field would be used as the first line of defense, blocking any and all ice particles projected at her and her mother. The force field was not only used as a shield, but a distraction. All the while, Helen had been scooping and rolling an abundant amount of snowballs. When the guys ceased their fire, Violet’s and Helen’s offensive plan was put into action. Helen clustered all of the snowballs together, wrapped her arms around them, and flung it to the opposing team.

“INCOMING!!!” shouted Dash, pointing up at the sky.

The snowballs rained down on the male Supers. Vi and Helen laughed hysterically. All of the sudden, a large clump of snow hit Helen in the face, she fell backwards and landed in the snow. Violet turned around, but too late. A large snowball smacked the front of her face. She landed right next to her mom. The two got up and brushed the snow off of their face and body.

“Dash, no throwing snowballs in the face.” Helen chastised, staring at the young boy.

A second of silence followed. After that, came laughter. Bob, Helen, Violet, Dash, and Lucius resumed their snowball fight, without Super Powers.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Meanwhile, Edna grew bored of watching the five pelt each other with snowballs. She stood up and picked up Jack-Jack.

“Gosh dahling, I grow tired of this, insignificant snowball fight. Come on little one. Let’s have some fun.”

Edna carried the baby over to the sled and placed him on it. She then pulled Jack-Jack around the snow. The little baby was enjoying his little ride as he cooed and laughed along the way. Edna smiled at Jack-Jack’s reaction. She then pulled the sled up a tiny hill. She sat on the sled with Jack-Jack and held on to him tight.

“Ready dahling?” Edna asked. Jack-Jack joyfully clapped his hands. “Very well. One. . .two. . .three.”

Edna and Jack-Jack rode the sled down the small hill. Edna held on to the baby with a firm grasp. Jack-Jack laughed in excitement and exhilaration. Finally, the sled decelerated to a stop.

“Wasn’t that fun dahling?”

Jack-Jack laughed and clapped cheerfully.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Bob took the snowboard and made his way up the really huge hill. Lucius followed after him.

“Bob, aren’t you a little. . . you know. . .”

Bob just laughed. “Nonsense old buddy. I can do this. Back in the day, I used to perform cool moves like you.”

Lucius smacked his head in annoyance. Finally, the two reached the top. Bob strapped the snowboard to his feet. Lucius put his Frozone boots on. Both gazed down the hill. It was pretty steep, with some small hills to get a little elevation.

“Okay, look out below!” said Bob.

Bob made his way down the hill. Lucius just watched. Bob accelerated down the slope. He was going so fast, he lost control of his board. It wasn’t long before Bob fell flat on his face. He rolled down the slope until he reached the bottom.

“Amateur.” sighed Lucius, shaking his head.

He jumped off, and two silver ice skis popped from his Frozone boots. He landed on the downslope and began to ski his way down. Lucius decided that the steep hill wasn’t fun enough. He discharged his ice beam from his hand and created a little ice ramp. He jumped off of it and performed many tricks and spins in the air. Lucius then formed another ice ramp with his beam of ice. Once he launched off of that, his skates converted to his ice disk. Lucius then glided down the rest of the slope. He stopped right next to a dumbfounded Bob.

“Bob, if it’s from you, then it is not cool. If it’s from me, then it is cool. Got it?”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Meanwhile, Helen was helping the kids make a snowman. She rolled a huge chunk of snow into a base. Violet rolled out a middle section. Dash rolled the head. Violet placed the middle section on the base and Dash placed the head on top. Dash collected stones and placed them on the snowman’s face. Violet took off of her scarf and wrapped it around its neck.
“It looks good kids.” commented Helen.

“Thanks mom.” recited the two in unison.

Finally, the sun started to set. The whole family, Lucius and Edna all felt exhausted. After loading the stuff into the car, they all left. Helen, Vi, Dash, and Jack-Jack began to fall asleep as the sun disappeared behind the horizon.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The Incredibles celebrated seven Christmas Days:

Seventh day, with snow,

Sixth day, ice skating,

Fifth day, caroling,

Fourth day, they’re giving,

Third day, they’re shopping,

Second day, they’re wishing,

And the first day, they decorate a tree
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Postby Al-Bob » Sun Dec 21, 2008 8:26 pm

Wow...i love the snowboarding episode...absolutely perfect. I can just see Mr. Incredible literally rolling down a hill. You could even have a couple walking up a nearby hill stop and watch him "roll" down.


Review for last 2

9.5/10

They are now starting to remind me of what holiday favorites are about and the fun that kids get at Christmas time. I loved the E and Jack-Jack part and the Bob/Lucius boarding.
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Mon Dec 22, 2008 5:40 am

Chapter 8: The Eighth Day of Christmas

Violet looked out the window. Snow wasn’t falling from the sky. She looked up into the sky. The sun was out and was shining down on the Earth. Vi got changed and met her family in the kitchen. Helen placed a bowl of oatmeal in front of her daughter.

“So Bob, what are we going to do today?” Helen asked.

Bob placed his hand on his cheek. He thought and thought. Ten minutes later, he shot open his eyes with an idea.

“Why not go for a sleigh ride? You know, like in the song Jingle Bells.”

Every person in the room looked at him with a puzzled look.

“Bob, what are you talking about?” asked his wife.

“Yeah dad. Where we are going to get a big sleigh? And the reindeer?”

“Hang on there, Dash. Just stay calm. I know what I’m talking about.”

Bob walked over to the telephone. He dialed a number. The rest of the family continued to look at him with an inquisitive gaze.

“Hello? Brandon’s Sled Rentals? Yes, I would like to rent one for my family and a couple of friends. Yes. . . yes. . . Bob Parr. . . eight to nine people. . . none please. . . I’m sure. . . I’m serious. . . thanks. . . be there in two hours. . . thanks. . . bye.”

He went back to the table.

“So what’s going to happen dad?” inquired Violet.

Bob smiled. “You just wait.”

After breakfast, everyone put the dishes away. Violet had been told by Bob that she could invite any person that she wanted. Violet raced up the stairs, grabbed her phone, and dialed a number to a friend’s house. Helen called the NSA and invited Mirage, and Edna. Bob called his friend Lucius.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

An hour later, the Parrs got into the car and were on their way. They drove for forty five minutes until they arrived at a gigantic forest area. Bob, Helen, Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack all got out of the car. They found a large barn area with a lot of reindeer and a lot of sleighs.

“Hey Bob! Over here!” called a voice.

It was Lucius. The Parr family walked over to him. Five minutes later, Edna and Mirage arrived. After greeting each other, they all went to get their sleigh. Everyone except Violet. She stayed and waited.

“Hey Vi, you coming?” asked Helen.

“I’m just waiting for someone mom.”

“Who?”

A car horn was heard. A young boy exited out of the car.

“Thanks dad, I’ll be done in a couple hours.”

The boy walked up to Violet. Violet was so elated, she couldn’t move, or speak. Finally, after staring in each other’s eyes for about ten seconds, she spoke.

“Thanks. . . f. . .for coming. . .T. . .Tony.” stammered Vi.

“Thank you for inviting me.”

After the two gave each other a hug, Vi and Tony went over to join the rest. Both were rather surprised to see a huge sleigh, but no reindeer. Everyone glared at Bob.

“Is everyone ready?” he cheerfully asked.

Dash gave him a peculiar look. “Is this a joke dad? Where are the reindeer to pull the sleigh?”

Bob smiled. “You’re looking at him.”

Everyone’s eyes widened in curiosity and astonishment. After a minute of silence, a sound of a giggle was heard. It came from Dash. Violet was also laughing. Tony then joined her. Soon enough, everyone was laughing.

Lucius place a hand on his friend’s shoulder. “Okay big man. If you want to carry all of us, be my guest.”

Bob went and got some strong sturdy rope. He tied it to the front of the sled and then tied the other ends around his chest. Everyone got on the sled. It had two rows. Helen, Dash, Violet and Tony sat in the front row. Lucius, Mirage, and Edna, carrying Jack-Jack, sat in the back.

Bob pulled the sled. He didn’t have to try, as he used half of his effort to easily pull and maneuver the sleigh. They went at a normal pace. Everyone enjoyed the scenery. The bare trees stood tall like soldiers. A large cushion of snow blanketed the ground. The sun peered from the branches of the woods.

Violet clung tightly to Tony’s body like a giant teddy bear. “Isn’t this beautiful Tony?”

Tony just gazed at Vi with affection in his eyes. “Yes, incredibly beautiful.”

Violet stared into his eyes and began to blush. Dash looked disgusted, but Helen glared at him just in case he opened his mouth.

After hours of sleigh riding, Bob pulled the sleigh back to the stable. He loosened the rope and threw it away before the owner discovered anything suspicious. When the owner exited his office, all he saw was a giant sled, right in the middle of the parking lot, with no reindeer nearby.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The Incredibles celebrated eight Christmas Days:

Eighth day, sleigh riding,

Seventh day, with snow,

Sixth day, ice skating,

Fifth day, caroling,

Fourth day, they’re giving,

Third day, they’re shopping,

Second day, they’re wishing,

And the first day, they decorate a tree.
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Postby Al-Bob » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:12 am

Very well done...a beautiful chapter for the Parr family. I somewhat feel responsable to leave them alone and not comment to much about it. I liked how you got the "reindeer" figured out. I wonder if Dash could do that when he gets older. Another great job of getting "Viony" into the storyboard.
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Mon Dec 22, 2008 7:46 pm

Thanks Al-Bob. Expect a chapter update some time in a few hours.
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Postby Al-Bob » Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:22 pm

sounds good...
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Postby The Star Swordsman » Mon Dec 22, 2008 9:45 pm

Chapter 9: The Ninth Day of Christmas

Jack-Jack awoke from his sleep. He opened his eyes and could not believe where he was.

“Good morning Jack-Jack.” greeted Helen, taking him out into the open.

The family looked around. They were at Disneyland. The Parrs looked around. The entrance was rather crowded, although the park wasn't opened yet. Finally, a voice was heard over the speakers.

“Good morning everyone! This is Mickey Mouse speaking. I hope you are having a swell holiday! And welcome to the Magic Kingdom of Disneyland!” he welcomed. Everyone cheered. Mickey continued. “Me and the rest of the gang hope you have a swell time here! And don’t forget! At tonight’s Holiday parade, we shall be having special guests joining us! So be sure to check it out! Thank you! And have a fun and magical day inside the Happiest Place on Earth!

The doors were opened as the crowded filed inside. Twenty minutes later, the Parrs arrived at Main Street USA. Dash turned to his parents.

“Special guests for the parade? I am so excited! I wonder who they are? Will we get a good seat? Where is the best place to. . .” he asked to rapidly.

“Slow down Dash! Not so fast please!” pleaded his annoyed sister.

Bob laughed and ruffed through Dash’s hair. “Don’t worry son. I promise we shall get the best seats in the entire parade.”

Dash gazed at his father with innocent eyes. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

First, the Parrs went on Small World. It was a slow ride, so everyone went, including Jack-Jack. The songs “It’s a Small World After All” and “Jingle Bells” played throughout the entire ride. Jack-Jack laughed and cooed throughout the entire ride. After that, Violet and Dash went on the tea cups. Helen and Bob watched, smiled, and took pictures of their children on the ride. After that, Violet and Dash rode the Matterhorn Mountain ride. Helen and Bob took their turns playing with Jack-Jack, while waiting for their kids to finish with their ride.

“You enjoying your holiday cutie?” asked Bob.

Helen tickled the baby’s tummy. “You are enjoying yourself aren’t you honey?”

Finally, Violet and Dash came back. Both decided to go on one more ride together, then would settle down for some lunch. After waiting in line, the kids finally got on board. They rode the Space Mountain ride. Afterwards, they got off. Dash felt incredibly dizzy. Violet felt like she was going to throw up. They stumbled over to their parents.

“Feeling okay?” asked Helen.

“We’ll be alright.” said a woozy Violet.

The Parr family went over and got some lunch. Bob, Helen, Violet, and Dash each had a slice of pizza. Jack-Jack was given his own baby food. After that, the Parr family went on some more rides. First, they went on the adventurous Jungle Cruise. After that, Bob and Helen browsed a store while Violet and Dash went on the Indiana Jones ride. After that, Helen and Violet watched Jack-Jack while Bob and Dash went on the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Ride. Helen and Violet then went on Splash Mountain while Bob and Dash took care of their little infant. The last ride they all went on was Pirates of the Carribean. Dash decided to stay and watch and play with his baby brother. Soon after, the entire Parr family all assembled back together and headed back to Main Street.

“Hey everybody!” said a voice. “Mickey Mouse here speaking! This is just a reminder that our Holiday Parade is about to begin in exactly thirty minutes! And don’t forget. We have a very special guests joining us for this parade! So I hope you will be able to join us!”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Thirty minutes later, the parade started. Animated characters from the movies Pinocchio, Peter Pan, Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Alice in Wonderland, and Mulan were first. The characters waved to the excited and awed audience. After that, the classic characters of Disney followed. Goofy, Donald, Daisy, Chip, Dale, Pluto, Minnie and Micky all followed.

“Hey Everybody! Glad that you all can make it! And I am so happy that you are having a swell holiday!” proclaimed Mickey.

“Oh Mickey.” Minnie says. “What a wonderful holiday it has been. And now, it is time to introduce our special guest. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, please give a warm welcome to...THE INCREDIBLES!”

On the float behind them, stood the Incredibles. They waved at the crowd happily and cheerfully. The float was 20 feet long and 12 feet high. The first half of the float was mainly a city with buildings pointing out in different direction. On a building-like platform stood Mr. Incredible and Elastigirl, waving to the people. On the other half of the float was mainly a Nomanisan-like jungle platform with trees and bushes planted in it. Invisigirl and Speedster walked all around and waved to the crowd. Jack-Jack was strapped securely on a balcony. He waved to the crowd as the parade ended.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The Incredibles celebrated nine Christmas Days:

Ninth day, Disneyland,

Eight day, sleigh riding,

Seventh day, with snow,

Sixth day, ice skating,

Fifth day, caroling,

Fourth day, they’re giving,

Third day, they’re shopping,

Second day, they’re wishing,

And the first day, they decorate a tree.
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Postby Al-Bob » Mon Dec 22, 2008 10:09 pm

Very fun...a great holiday vacation for the Parr family. Did you ever think about putting in that new Toy Story theme ride? It sounded really good since you were able to get Minnie and Mickey into it as well. Good job depicting the voyage to Disneyworld.

Review for 8-9
9/10

Really enjoying this fun filled story. Can't wait to see 10-12 days and what happens on those days.
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