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ii - Revive (Opinions On Story Idea Needed)

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ii - Revive (Opinions On Story Idea Needed)

Postby WBoon » Mon Dec 15, 2008 11:04 pm

Alright, several things have happened recently.

First of all, no Christmas special trailer, be that a disappointment or a gracious gift to you people. Photoshop couldn’t be reinstalled on my computer, so now, not only couldn’t I not create signatures and avatars no more, but Premiere Pro was uninstalled, too, when I tried to clear out all the bugs there were probably available in my laptop. And yes, the same thing happened – no installation happened thereafter; no successful ones, at least.

So, that means no Pixar 23rd Anniversary Tribute, too. Yeah, real messed up.

However, after months of saving up, I might just be able to retrieve a Windows re-installation disc from the store owners for a good $200. Till then, I'm going to work on my writing from now.

Before I start, I would just like to say that most parts of the idea is original, save a few inspirations. But because so, I took quite a while to work out the faults, plot holes and what whatnot, days even.

I'm going to make this quick because this is a retype; my laptop's been crashing lately several times due to unknown reasons.

It is about the government. Easily corrupted, and the source of warfare, torn lives and money grubbers. However, that's just me; I hate politics. To others, it's a source of justice, the good. Now, I ask you; what if good turns evil, and evil turns into something you could actually relate to?

Now that, that's scary, full of mistrusts and insecurity. That's the essential storyline of the plot.

From the melodrama of Chapter Three, we move on to Helen Parr pondering on the worrying issues of her children's safety. She wants to be responsible and all, protecting the city and everything, but with both her children's lives threatened and put on the line, she couldn't help being selfish, even if it is just for the one night, with the soft moonlight lilting on her and the dark linings of the metal bars set on the balcony. Bob wraps his arms around her and they talk. Bob promises that he will try his might to get them through the trying period. Very compelling scene portrayed here because he is all out for Helen, bringing her security when she feels desperate and helpless.

Here comes the problem. Helen is a strong woman, so I especially don't want to have her a defenseless woman needing aid from her husband. Any woman needs her husband's comfort, but this scene, unfortunately, would really make Helen look like Jodie Foster working with the writer of Superman Returns - desperate attempt at portraying an iron-willed woman confronting her worries and trauma.

I don't want that, so I hope you guys could offer some advice on this.

Next, comes Western View Jr. Violet's doing well with Tony, a lot of love there. Yeah, go nuts, Viony lovers (I'm still wanting at least one 'Akalet' fan around :P). I need help here, because I have no material for Violet and Tony to do before the next art commence.

I'm visualizing a good Viony scene where they caresses each other throughout each lesson, make simple humors, and maybe share another kiss at the end. That's what first dates do. If the first date was successful, vroom, you're on your way to at least a week of fun before anything bad happens to the relationship.

Well, unless it's a jerk doing an one-night-stand, of course. :P But that's no Tony, at least not the one we know. :lol:

So, anyway, I would like Viony fans to make suggestions on what they should do in school before I initiate the next art - at least for that day.

Oh, and I am getting way ahead of myself. In the next morning, before this Western View scene comes in, Violet would try and comfort Dash for the first time in... wow, Violet, how could you? Never comforted your brother since his birth? :P

Anyway, the little nasty devil turns mute. He doesn't speak, at all. No replies, no wise comebacks. Nothing. Just a grim broken face. You can really see he's really stunned. You're talking about a, what? Ten years old kid? He had to withstand the possible death of his teacher which anyone could easily pin the blames on him, much less himself.


So, that, naturally, got Violet rather sore, too; but nothing too melodramatic this time; I've learned my lesson. ;) It's just the usual; naughty little brother stops talking and the older one starts to feel guilty or something and would rather him starts throwing insults at her so that she could go on with the whole stereotype sister-brother warfare once again.

But, when we get outside, things take a great turn.

Violet would look very optimistic here in this scene because she overhears their previous conversation last night - about Helen's worries. Being the 'good daughter' of the family, she naturally smiles along, tells Helen that she doesn't need a ride to relief mum of her burden and even going to the point of telling her that she will take a cab with Dash, and that she will send him to school.

Again, I need opinions on this one. I really hope people wouldn't drop a one-liner or a four-liner, because I know the views available for contribution here would at least take up half the page, so, I beg you to contribute your views as much as possible.

That means you, Al-Bob. Please, don't let down your wife twice. :P J/k I just can't let that joke go. :lol:

Here's the amazing part when they get into the open. They would work together very effectively, and not just work together, they actually enjoy each other's company. They do not feel that ire, not even a little bit. I'm talking about that little ire felt even in the scene when the 'Incredi-ball' was first introduced in the movie. There was a little ire then. There just has to be. A tiny bit of it, just a tiny one. But here, this scene, we have pure enjoyment. They really like each other - as brother and sister, guys, ahem - and wouldn't trade anything in the world with that single moment. Well, the scene lasts about a two minutes but it was a moment. :P

What am I talking about? Well, it's no surprise, really, but it's the way I'm going to portray this 'second coming' of the Incredi-Ball that really sets the tone. Tell me what you think of this so that I could improve my vision of the scene, read the next chapter and tell me what you think about that then, 'coz it's a really significant scene. Every scene is important, but this one just really bring the phrases, 'Violet and Dash' and 'Dash and Violet' into view. They aren't escaping some razor sharp forest shredders this time, they are just really enjoying themselves. How many times can you find Violet enjoying herself with Dash in fan fics? I haven't seen much, so I really want to make this part a really good scene, so I'll need your help and your views, guys. Thanks lots. ;)

So, back to Western View.

I want some Akai tie-ins as well. Maybe during one of the Viony moment for this day in the school, Akai just brushes shoulder with Violet and she goes looking at him for a second, maybe a glance or something, and ended up walking away with Tony. But, I really want something to happen here between Akai and Violet, the same thing I've portrayed in the Incredibles Expansion thread; the one with the sunset. Maybe nothing as dramatic as that, but just a short scene lasting at least a good minute, or close to that. A short conversation. And this conversation cannot just be a simple conversation. It has to be filled with charm so that it will send Violet thinking about him, and then send her attention back to Tony, and then onto the two boys.

:lol: Am I confusing you yet? Just throwing my thoughts into view.

Another thing I want to bring into view is the character of Snug. Mr. Bird never got to kill him off in the movie, and now, I'm going to fulfill his wish. :twisted: Just kidding, but yeah, he will play a significant role here; much more than a short phone conversation partner, I can assure you.

From The Incredibles DVD Disc 2:
Someone has to die!


:lol:

Okay, I'm not going into too deep of a spoiler, but, this will be my final revelation of the plot. What do you think of the parents being incarcerated? It's been done before on the movies (Hancock), heroes being sent to the joint, so I don't want to repeat history. There's going to be a court scene, too. The fine Police officers of America gets the benefit of 'accidentally killing their suspects' without being hang or imprisoned in anyway, as long as it's truly a self-defense of some sort. But will the government allow Supers to be applied with such a benefit? Well, that's where a debate will come in. Rick will be participating in the argument, of course, but what will happen in the end shall affect the plot of sequel 2 dramatically.

Should Supers be licensed to kill as long as they have some sort of just/decent purposes for their doing? That will be the question hanging from everyone's mind in that debate, and of course, Syndrome's death will come into view here. Yes, I know; that maniac had threatened to come back, but even Tedd Bundy had a proper execution, so why not Pine Buddy?

Yeah, Tedd Bundy, probably the sickest criminal of his time. Go Google him.

Oh, and if this be an actual Pixar movie, it will be the first movie with a cliffhanger. Yeah. Sequel 2 gets deeper, but mostly unoriginal. :P Marvel fans beware.

There will be a climatic ending, of course, but that climatic ending is what leads to the important story-line in the second sequel shared between the two love-fools and the Queen of Invisibility; a title soon to become literal.

But the second sequel will be, of course, more than the love triangle.

In the second sequel... prepare yourself, Marvel fans 'coz you will go, "What? Ripoff-much?" The next sequel will be based on... den, den, den!

[spoiler]The 'Civil War' arc.[/spoiler]

Yep. Pretty deep story ines there - even TSS said so, so you can be assured. ;)

Be prepared for a wild ride, because these two sequels pack a punch, with compelling story lines and great action scenes.

Your Blockbuster Lover,
~ WBoon 8)

Long live good movies.
Christmas Special canceled. Follow this link to find out more.
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Postby Al-Bob » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:03 am

It sounds okay...i have to say that i can't see the clear picture but that the outline looks good. I like the idea of a friendly relationship between Akai and Vi...maybe just a wonderful conversation that they both enjoy to the fullest. That would be the best i could think of.

Nice joke...but i'm afraid it doesn't apply to me...i'm not even married. (although i get the usernames mixed up with gender) :wink:

I think it sounds good...but with the way you write so emotionally and descriptively i think it will read better.
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Postby WBoon » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:08 am

lol There you go again, Al! :P You've failed to mention your views on how Snug should be portrayed, how my idea of Supers being incarcerated (imprisoned) sounds, and how Violet and Dash should interact with each other. :lol:

But yeah, thanks anyway, Al-Bob. ;)
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Postby Al-Bob » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:16 am

Unfortunitly i don't know about Snug...he isn't a pixar character is he?

Dash and Vi would be great if they did get along...i think it would be a great reminder that family is important to the world. It would show just how great they could be together. I think Pixar tried to show that in the jungle fight but it never really pulled through when they were alone. It only happened when they were with their parents so it demoted their dependence on each other.

It would be a great idea...

For the incarnated thing...i can't see that yet. I still don't really get what you mean. Do you mind unloading it for me to inspect?
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Postby WBoon » Tue Dec 16, 2008 1:47 am

I'm picturing a good scene where Violet acts like a protective mother over Dashiell. It has recently become my dream to see something like that. I was watching The Glass House: The Good Mother the other day, and that preteen girl protecting her little brother, god, that was awesome. That's just the type of Violet I would love to see; independence, a strong personality, something of an Ellen Ripley from Aliens who had also acted like a guardian over a young child. I really love that. And it's even better if Dash seems all the more helpless, because Violet would have to go all the further to prevent his brother from coming to harm.

As for the incarceration, I can't really go into details or it will spoil it all, but er, Helen and Bob will basically go to prison, and there, well... how will two Supers handle the pressure of going to a place where all the crooks and villains they've helped to put in? We've seen those before, so you have to mention those examples so that I can avoid repeating them and create something fresh and new.

I've came up with something of my own. Something darker than the first film, but nothing above the PG-13 rating, so no worries. But Helen's got all these things to worry about. Her children is taken away because the parents are in prison. It is really ironic that the more she wanted to protect her children, the further away she was taken from them, and now, they are even orphans, which, well, will take another dramatic turn in the story. :)
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