A confession about myself

The Common Room Off-Topic
#1

First off, some of you may already know some of these things about me, and some of you may not, but I just need to get this off my chest. One thing that’s important to know about me is that I have Asperger’s (which I’ve been wanting to talk about here too: [url]Who here's special? - Members, Inc. - Pixar Planet Forums), but the other thing is that I have been growing up in a Christian home with my mom who’s a strong Christian herself. One day I was wanting to know more about it, so I started looking things up on the internet, and well… I just haven’t been the same ever since. I was getting so deep into trying to understand religion that I ended up finding a whole bunch of different ideas, opinions, arguments, and viewpoints on things that for a long time left me feeling confused and paranoid about life and afraid to do things (I had gotten so much mixed information from different places I couldn’t even begin to list them all). In fact, I’d almost think the whole experience of that may have traumatized me. The part of it that had really struck hard with me the most though was when they’d criticize the sort of things I’ve always enjoyed in my life (movies, cartoons, video games): things that I’ve always had some reason for enjoying and appreciating, and they’re made out to be some great evil in the world. And some of this was coming from what I think of as the “extreme Christians”. As far as movies go, this is probably the very worst out there (and if you’ve never been on here before, I suggest you look with caution): [url]http://www.capalert.com/now_playing.htm[/url]

All this only started about a couple years ago, but before then I used to have such a big creative spirit in drawing cartoons that I felt confident about. I always even had dreams of being an animator or a movie director (and I have a friend who talks about wanting to work in video games). But finding all this stuff had become damaging to my creative spirit because of the people saying these things, and they’ve been leaving me discouraged from my passion and having anything to do with it. You may still see me sharing a passion for animation on here and sometimes showing some creativity with things, but it’s honestly not what it used to be. Off this computer I’m really someone who’s been troubled with anxiety, tormented, and even sad and unhappy because of all this. I just don’t really talk about it. I’m sure some of you may say “why bother listening to them and just do what you want?”, but the thing is I took it all seriously, and it’s only because of that that I feel like it affected me so bad. I’m not trying to say whether I am or am not a Christian, but only that the experience made me feel indifferent about my Christianity because of what other people on the internet seem to be making of it.

So, there you have it. Now you all know how miserable I’ve really been. I just hope someone here understands what I’ve been through.

#2

My advice is to read the bible.

#3

I feel your pain, man.

All I can say is that you must decide for yourself what to believe in. Don’t just read whatever’s on the Internet; borrow books, magazines, journals. Read what academics (who have gone through college and university) have to say. Watch the news. Talk to your friends and family. Ask your pastor or priest to help solve your doubts about religion. Ask other religious leaders on their opinions.

If you have a mental condition, seek help from your school counselor or a trained psychologist. It’s perfectly normal to ask for help, I do it all the time.

In the end, only you can choose what you want to believe for yourself. And that only comes with knowledge and experience.

#4

You know. Im suspected to have Aspergers. I haven’t been tested for it. But my parents suspect I do.

#5

My friend, you are not alone.

I grew up in a Christian household. Now then ever it’s harder to stay true to a religion. We are living in an age of science and a growing sector of people choosing to become Athiests. Most of my friends at school are not religious at all, and it can be hard.

I am still on a journey of my religious being. I haven’t come to peace at what I exactly believe.

There are a lot of people out there who take the word of Christ out of hand. Look at Hitler and the Westboro Baptist Church.

What you should realize that the bottom line of Christianity is this: To be Christlike. Love others as you love your God/Great Spirit/Entity. Treat your neighbors as you want to be treated.

That last one is a common theme in ALL religions.

Look at Jesus Christ! He loved every one unconditionally. He forgave adultresses, and prostatutes. He loved stealers, cheats, liars, and even the man who betrayed him. And said for us not to judge them, because we are all loved. No matter of our sins. No matter of our mistakes or lifestyles. We are all equal.

It seems that groups like Westboro Baptist Church forgot all of that.

Bottom line is, find a belief system that WORKS FOR YOU and does not restrict free will for other people. That’s all that matters. Wheter that belief system if Christianity, Hinduism, or Atheism. Whatever works for you, don’t just be a Christian to please your parents.

And no matter what religion or lack of one you are, try to be Christlike. And that’s loving and forgiving everyone, no matter who they are or what they do. Peace, love and respect. That’s what Jesus is all about.

#6

On top of this note that salvation is not achieved through works or “being good”. It is actually easier because it is achieved by trusting the lord as your savior.
However, whether you want to believe that or not is up to you. I couldn’t stop you from believing otherwise. A VERY good start is to read your bible. The answers are all in there.

#7

It’s up to you if you wish to believe or not. I am a Christian, but I’m not here to proclaim my faith or share my stories or convert people. That isn’t my job here. But I can give you advice. Talk with your friends, family, even your pastor about it. They can help you and show you a direction where you might want to go. But ultimately, everything rides on you.

#8

I agree.

#9

Having done a feature on religious organisations in my uni and writing about Islam for my current assignment, I can say that in order to believe in a religion, you need to your research. Which is what you’re doing, Flik-E, that’s great. It’s much better to read about the less flattering aspects of anything from religion, to movies, to politics, or whatever, then to not be aware of it. That is what wisdom and knowledge is all about.

Prejudice comes from ignorance. A lot of people like to fight things which they don’t even understand. For example, Western democracy advocates condemn the burkha, a religious piece of clothing that Muslim women wear to cover their heads. They say it oppresses women, objectifies them, promotes male chauvinism, etc. While it might be true that some Muslim women might be oppressed by their husband, family, and society into donning the garment, some do it for their own volition and free will. There was a columnist I read in my newspaper who explained meeting a Muslim woman on an airplane wearing the veil, and when asked about it, she said that she actually chose to wear it, despite her husband’s objections! :slight_smile: So really, you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, or in this case, a woman by her ‘cover’.

Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’ advocates a concept which is called ‘Taking Whole’. In my own words, it is not so much about defeating your enemy as understanding it. How can you argue against a certain ideal, concept, or belief, if you don’t even know half of what it’s about? Let’s say you’re an army general of a kingdom, and a militia of farmers decide to revolt against you. If you wipe them out in war, you risk losing your crop supplies. In this case, it might be better to negotiate for a peaceful resolution and see things from their perspective. One should always approach any subject or topic with an open mind, listen, make your own observations, and form your own beliefs. Sometimes, you might have your beliefs challenged, and you can choose to undergo a ‘paradigm shift’ and accept your misunderstanding, or stand firm in your original belief if you’re convicted.

As a lighter example, I used to hate Pixar. Really! I did. But after seeing Finding Nemo, and later on Cars, my opinion of the studio changed (I wrote about it in several posts and on my blog if you wanna read about it). Did I feel horrible or ‘weird’ because of my new belief system? No, I just accepted it, and moved on. Right now, I’m not too impressed about Pixar with their sequels and merchandising. But do I feel bad about it? No. I keep an open mind, consider other options like alternative studios for the time being, and look forward to next year’s ‘Brave’ with an open heart.

In this case, if you encounter self-doubts or crises about your religion, that’s perfectly okay. We all have our moments, but what you need to do is to investigate it deeper and find out more about it.

Personally, I don’t think that praying to a deity for forgiveness gives you a ‘free pass’ to commit sins, but again, this is just my belief, and I will probably need to study Christianity better to gain a better understanding. You need to decide for yourself what to believe in, cos’ no one can (or has the right to) decide that for you.

EJE: That was a great post! I agree with the points you raised based on your personal experience.

#10

Hey, Flik-E!! I’m sorry you have been so shaken by this. And I don’t mean to advise, but let me just say, I have this problem with my dad all the time. Actually, it’s weakened our relationship tremendously. For instance, take one of my favorite movies ever, Beauty and the Beast. But first, a little back ground information. My dad hates Disney and most of their movies. The only Disney movies he likes are Sleeping Beauty, The Black Cauldron, Oliver and Company, Aladdin, and Mulan. He only likes Cars and MI for Pixar.

Back to our major argument. He said one day that Beauty and the Beast “blows”. I thought I was going to cry. But, I thought maybe he was kidding. I asked why. He said that BatB, like many Disney animated films, is completely unAmerican, going against many of our beliefs and values. He told me it is a Feminist, negative, whiney movie. BECAUSE Gaston is muscular, he is the only muscular guy in the movie, and the Beast/Adam as a man is thin and looks, well, like a girl. I’ve never been so disturbed in my life. Now, we have these conversations about Disney, Pixar and Hollywood all the time. I want to die.

Now, it does bother me that my dad thinks this of one of my top 10 movies that have shaped my personality, but that’s not what disturbs me. What disturbs me is that when I watch the movie, and think about it, I agree with him. :neutral_face: Gaston is thew only manly man in the entire movie!! And for Pete’s sake, they couldn’t even say the Beast’s real name(supposedly Adam) once in the entire movie! It makes me so sad. I can’t even enjoy the movie in the same way anymore. I still love it, and try to watch it, but…I get so uncomfortable. It does seem political. They could have at least given him strong arms and a name. REALLY. I could–and have–cry about it. It makes me so sad. I can’t sit through The Incredibles period because of sexual fan fictions I’ve read, political reviews I’ve read, and videos on youtube I’ve seen. I haven’t watched The Incredibles in what feels like 10 years–but, obviously, it’s been more like 3 months.

I hate to think that one person’s puny opinion can shake me and essentially ruin my life in such a way, but they do. I must say—please don’t laugh at me–that I don’t know who I am anymore. I’ve never been a happy person, but I used to find such joy in animation and really any movie I loved. But now, there is no fulfillment to be found. I’m empty. I feel that the metaphysical part of myself is dead. And I wish that the rest of em would die along with it and end my uselessness and disturbed unhappiness.

I hate to bring religion back up, as I know that’s not the heart of the thread. However, I find that some times prayer is the answer, and not just a suggestion from some fat-fried chicken-eating-Bible-thumping numb skull. I truly do find relief just talking to Him–whether He is who I think He is or not. I go to church, but the pastor(my great-great-great uncle, hahahahahaha) has not altered my beliefs. Honestly, I did not read the Bible and decide to blindly love and follow it. My family was not religious until about 5 years ago, but I used to wonder and think on it a lot. I followed the 10 Commandments, because I knew them. And when I did read the Bible-I found that I agreed with a lot of it. And, even though I don’t believe some of it and believe parts were written by hypocritical 13th century priests, I’m content. And, sometimes, if I pray, I feel better. I feel like I really can be myself and make my own ideas. And, sometimes, it even helps me ignore other people’s comments. I might even try to watch The Incredibles tomorrow. :slight_smile:

#11

I have aspergers, and I wish I didn’t know it because then I wouldn’t use it as a crutch.

As someone who switches between agnostic and atheist depending on how he’s feeling on any given day, I recommend you do what you feel like. Even if you’re living a lie, it’s a lie that helps. People who believe in God, despite possibly being wrong, live longer lives and are happier. It’s your choice to make.

Then again, most wars are also started by religion.

…Talk to somebody about this, but not your parents. Talk to a counselor.

#12

Where’s the proof of this? :confused:

#13

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7302609.stm

As of today I’m officially an atheist. It’s official because I’ve been an atheist for about a week.

I wish I was a Christian, but I can’t will myself into believing things that just don’t make any sense to me.

#14

I know plenty atheists who are happy, and have strong families and have coped with deaths and sickness in the past. There are various ways to measure happiness. A religion may complete one persons life, but it may hinder someone else from being happy. I find studies measuring ‘happiness’ to be invalid and ridiculous.

#15

I’m not sure if it’s scientifically true. BUt religion does allow people to look at life more optimistically. Optimism means less stress on the body. Thus resulting in longer and happier lives. So it’s just a theory, but there is a little logic to the Chicken Man’s claim.

#16

I’m sorry, I don’t buy that either. I have friends who aren’t religious. And they say they have less stress in their lives and are more optimistic then when they were regular church goers who were scared into believing they have to be perfect or will go to Hell. There are many people who are negative with a religion. It’s a two way road. I don’t see it logical to believe in a set of rules layed out with you will make you more optimistic and stress free.

To clarify, I am spiritual myself. And that works for me, for other people it doesn’t.

#17

I actually kind of mourn for those people cause they think they have to be perfect or else. Were sinners. It’s not possible to be perfect. That doesn’t mean that were doomed to going to hell regardless. The Lord did provide an escape from that.

#18

I like how everyone sort of abandoned the point of Flik-E’s thread and is now arguing about Atheism VS Religion. wow.

#19

Actually, it does relate to his original post, if you read it. Part of what he was saying was having doubts in religion.

#20

But, he did say that the point was not to say what his religion was(or wasn’t). And besides, personally, I think arguing whether religion is good or bad is pretty stupid. I would hope someone wouldn’t be religious or not just because someone else disagrees with them.

Anyway, all I meant was that I thought the point was about how what others say affect Flik-E, and arguing religion VS. Atheism seems pretty silly from that context. :neutral_face: :confused:

But, whatever. I’m not really qualified to argue in the current argument, so I’ll just steer clear of this thread for a while.