A Toy Escapade- #1 in The Pizza Planet Saga

Fandom Fan Fiction
#1

Is it Good so far?

  • Yes, totally, keep going
  • No, stop. Please, it’s bad.

0 voters

This is my first fan fic here, and I have been putting off starting it until today. Essentially, it is what the Pizza Planet truck, and it’s driver, Adam were doing during Toy Story. The story switches between the viewpoint of the Truck, and Adam, starting with the Truck.

Edit: OH NO! I forgot to rate it. It shouldn’t go beyond PG for scenes of action.

Table of Contents:
Prologue
Chapter 1: Here We Go
Chapter 2: The Inexplicable
Chapter 3: First Day on the Job
Chapter 4: Madness
Chapter 5: Exponential Shrinkage
Chapter 6: Lame
Chapter 7: The Event
Chapter 8: News
Chapter 9: Disaster <–New!

Notes (11/4): Sorry guys, update has been move to tomorrow due to schedule change. :frowning:

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in the story except for Adam Georgeo. Adam is a purely fictional character and any resemblance to an actual person is purely coincidental.


Prologue:
November 22, 1995, 3:46:34 AM. 
I have decided to record my life down on a computer so that I can never forget it. So thus, I must start with my name. I am the first ever Pizza Planet Truck, and my model is Gyoza. I guess someone will wonder how I can record stuff down on a computer, as I am a completely inanimate object. Well, it is thanks to some artificial intelligence I developed thanks to the computing power stored within my radio and automatic transmission. I am also storing all of this on my driver's computer. His name is Adam, he is nice, but has his flaws, like every human. Also, his computer has a massive amount of storage space, hence how this is all saved. Anyway, I am the first truck to be delivering pizzas for Pizza Planet since Adam suggested it to his boss, the owner and CEO of Pizza Planet. Thus my job was born. Today will be my first day on the job, and my first day with that little plastic rocket. Adam thought it was a good idea after Pizza Palace (Pizza Planet's main competitor) started it's own delivery service. And so, the delivery wars had begun.
2010 Pixar Planet Awards - For Your Consideration
#2

Sounds intresting. Contiue!!!

#3

Interesting, except in Toy Story 3, we find out that Pizza Planet has been in service before Toy Story.

#4

You are correct Dinoco. And that will be explained later on. :wink: I’ll post a new chapter tomorrow.

#5

Thanks for the comments guys! sorry for the late post. :blush:
New chapter yay!

Chapter 1: Here We Go

"Adam... Adam Georgeo... That's my name." I said as I looked at my new name tag.
"Delivery Boy."

It was my first day as a delivery boy. I got the job when I suggested that we expand the size of our delivery services. My boss instantly said that it is a great idea and he gave me this old Gyoza Truck that is parked in my driveway right now. He then promptly destroyed the others and ordered 200 "Gyoza 2.0" Trucks. They will be the new delivery fleet. But until they arrive, I am the only delivery person the company has. 

Guess what else as happened? Well, I was looking through my computers files, and my truck developed "Artificial Intelligence." According to his log, it was due to his radio and automatic transmission. And, Apparently it thinks it is it's first day on the job. This truck has actually been in service for probably 10 years now. Both of these I installed myself to upgrade the truck, but I promptly removed the automatic transmission and replaced it with the manual one. I don't really mind. But the radio, I could never go back to. the old one was a mess. Well, we'll have to wait to find out how this A.I. thing cools over. 

Pizza Palace has been expanding their delivery service, and we don't know what could happen if they outgrow us. We could be run out of business!
#6

Ooh… talk about an ‘auto’-biography! Very imaginative, it has shades of ‘Knight Rider’ to it, but I’m sure you’ll make it your own. Please continue, I think you’ve got something fresh and unique here. :slight_smile:

#7

At first I really liked the idea of the narrative coming from the truck’s point of view. It seemed pretty original to me.

However, I enjoyed Adam as the narrator much more. Maybe he just seemed… less robotic, I guess.

I wish Adam didn’t know about the truck’s artificial inteligence, though! That could’ve made for some very interesting chapters from the truck’s point of view. I am sure you planned the discovery for a specific reason, though. I’m betting their interaction will play out later in the story…

I do not often read fan fictions, but for some reason I decided to read yours. If I can offer one piece of advice, it would be to slow down. Everything happened so quickly in Chapter 1 and I feel like it could’ve benefited from some developement. For example, Adam just accepted the AI of the truck. Isn’t he shocked that the car has a mind of its own?

I hope you don’t mind me offering some criticism. I personally feel though, that without constructive criticism, we cannot improve our work.

This story has a lot of potential, especially for the relationship between Adam and the truck, as well as the battle with Pizza Palace. I will be voting yes to your poll; keep on writting!

#8

I knew somebody wouldn’t like Adam discovering the truck’s secret. But trust me, it is for a good reason.

Thanks for the comments guys :smiley: I’ll post a new chapter soon.

#9

After thinking about his chapter for a while, I have finally decided that it was time for me to put my hands to the keyboard once more. Sorry it’s short :blush:, but I need something to fill the gap between the last chapter and Adam’s next narrative. Plus this is a crucial plot point.
Ok, just so you know, the random numbers are corrupting of the data. I explain it down below if you don’t understand what that means.


Chapter 2: The Inexplicable
November 23, 1995, 11:36:12
Today was inexplicably odd. Adam just came and took out my automatic transmission that he installed. What's going on? I can't seem to be able t0 rec011 prop0010. Have 1 been exposed to a vi10s? Or is my Ar100icial intell010nce fail011? Slow01 I be110e mo11 confu001. I wi01 h11e t0 in100101te thi1 ma001r mo01 in dept0. I shou11 sto0 rec010i1g bef011 I0 compl1tel0 tak10 ov11 my 10stem.
END RECORDING

Well, You're probably wondering, why is his data corrupted? Why is it just 1's and 0's? and What are all of those words? I'll tell you.
The data's corrupted (messed up). I'm not telling you why, but it's not because of the automatic transmission being removed.
It's 1's and 0's because it is in binary code. 
And the words, here is an "english" translating:

Chapter 2: The Inexplicable
November 23, 1995, 11:36:12
Today was inexplicably odd. Adam just came and took out my automatic transmission that he installed. What's going on? I can't seem to be able to record properly. Have I been exposed to a virus? Or is my Artificial intelligence failing? Slowly I become more confused. I will have to investigate this matter more in depth. I should stop recording before IT completely takes over my system.

END RECORDING
#10

Hmm, interesting chapter.

I want to know why Adam removed the transmission. That is my guess as to why the truck is malfunctioning. I guess I will have to wait for the next chapter!

Oh and, I really like that your chapters are short. I actually have time to read them!

#11

Very good so far. Will you be including Woody and Buzz in future chapters? I’d like to see that. :slight_smile:

#12

Thanks love70ways and Geoff-uk1234 for the comments.

Yes woody and buzz will come into the story. How did you know?

#13

You should ask little_chef_eva09 to add this to the fanfiction index.

#14

I did and she said that she was busy but when she updates it she will add my story. Thanks for reminding me.

The future chapters I’ll be writing on paper on the bus ride too and from school so they should sound more thorough. Just as a heads up to everyone.

#15

Update yay :mrgreen: . So, I had an Idea that I would include some cameos from some popular characters, but it’s interactive! Sort of like Violet Parr’s fanfic here but you guys choose the cameos instead of questions. If you would like to request a cameo by someone, please PM me or post your request in this thread and I’ll do my best to work it into the story. By the way, free virtual cookie to whoever can spot the 4 cameos in this chapter.

Chapter 3: First Day on the Job

Well... It's my first day on the job. I climb into my truck and instantly I receive a message from my boss telling me that I have 4 orders waiting. 
" Typical, I'm sure" i muttered to myself as I started the old truck.
"Turn the key, pump the gas pedal 4 times, and shift to 1" I recited from memory. The car was so old that I needed to do the same method over and over again... At least thats what they told me. The 4 orders where on totally different parts of Emeryville. My first stop brought me to a non-descript house in the back streets. I rang the bell...
"Mr John Lasseter?"
"Yes?"
"I have your pizza that you ordered."
"Yes, thanks my boy, take this $5 bill to pay for the pizza, and this $2 bill since I can see that it is your first day on the job."
"Thanks... don't you work for Pixar Live Action Studios?"
"Yes...Yes I do."
"Well, I should be on my way then. See you later."
That was... awkward to say the least. How could he tell that it was my first day on the job? Has he been following me?
Anyway, I had more deliveries. Th next stop was a tall sky scraper on the edge of town. I proceeded to get into the elevator and rise to the top floor.
"Hello, I'm Nathan Ford, how can I help you?"
"Um...I have some pizza for you."
"Ah, yes. Here you go. Thanks for the pizza do come again!" I was rushed out the door by an almost unseen force. Again, that was awkward. I totally do not understand this delivery thing. I wish Pizza Planet would've given me some actual training. The third stop was a machine weld shop located at the western side of town. The Sheet metal gate moved aside as I approached. A strongly built African American man stood facing me.
"Whad'you want fool?"
"Um..." I meekly mumbled. "I have some Pizza for a Mr. H.M. Murdock."
"Murdock, I'm gonna pummel you." I heard as the man went hulking away.
"Aw... you bought pizza for me? So kind of you sir! Please take this payment and leave before B.A comes back."
The gate promptly closed. Well... some interesting people ordered pizza today. The final stop was rather uneventful besides the fact that a red blur passed in front of my windscreen as I was driving along the road. The long journey from corner to corner of the city took the most of the day, leaving me some time to check on my truck's "AI" files. thankfully, I found that they were becoming corrupted, which I am sure is because of my ingenious move in removing the automatic transmission. I can now just forget about that since he will eventually lose all AI if I'm correct. I can now sleep in peace.
#16

After reading some of the other fanfics around, I feel as though mine is a meek comparison. (I’m looking at you Psyche OS X, Birds of a Feather, and Star Vacation). I would prefer just to stop here and cower into the darkness, but alas, I am a person who cannot leave things half done, I must finish. And so, the story continues.

Capter 4: Madness
November  24, 7:06:54
  I am descending into a state of madness. The inability to record properly is hindering my plans to record my life down. I have formulated 2 possibilities on what could be causing the problem. Number one: I have lost a part of my AI due to my automatic transmission being removed. Many facts point against this theory, as the Automatic transmission had almost nothing to do with the creation of my AI. Number two: Someone, or something, has infected me with a virus with the intent of making me fail at my job, which I have no control over. Many other facts point towards this as the true culprit. Specifically the fact that I no longer have control over when I might randomly stop or go. Usually I can at least put it off... Until today. 
  Also, I have hacked into some government files to discover that someone is moving into the house next door to Adams. Possibly, they are very rich, as the house next door is probably 3-4 times larger than Adams. I cannot tell if they are rich.


Authors Notes: Chapters are getting longer, and if you're wondering why this chapter isn't corrupted like Ch 2, then look below! It took a while to do, and it was frustrating.

Capter 4: Madness (Corrupted Version)
November  24, 7:06:54
  I a0 de01en0010 in01 a s10te of 010ness. The i0011lity to re1001 pr111rly is h001010ng my 0101s to r001rd my li01 d1w0. I 001e 0001ul1t1d 2 p01s00ili000s 0n 01at 011ld be c01s1n1 t01 p0011em. N001e1 1ne: I 1a0e l0st 1 10rt 0f 1y 0I 01e 1o 1y a01o0a10c 010ns011s1on 01ing re011ed. 11ny f110s p000t a01i1st 10is 10e0ry, 0s 1h0 10to101ic 110ns10s1i0n 10d a001st n110g t0 d0 w10h t1e c1e00i1n 1f 01 1I. N001er t01: S001o1e, o1 s100th10g, h10 i110ct1d m1 11th a v10us w001h 11e i001nt 1f 11king 1e f00l a1 m1 0ob, 110ch 1 01ve 1o c011ro1 001er. 1an1 0t1e0 00ct1 p01nt 1o001ds 11is 1s 10e t10e c001rit. S001ifi000ly 1he 10ct t00t 1 n1 l01g1r h00e c01t1ol 001r 00en 1 m111t r0nd00ly 11op or 0o. U00a1ly 1 001 a0 l001t 11t it 01f... U01il t011y. 
  10so, 1 h00e hac011 11to s0m1 g001rn11nt f11es t0 d110over 11at s0m101e 1s m001ng 11to t1e h01se 11xt d00r t0 110ms. Po11i0ly, t00y 1r0 v10y 10c0, 1s 10e 10u0e 011t 10or 0s p01b1b0y 3-4 1i0e0 11rg1r 10an 0110s. 1 c011o0 t10l i1 t01y 1r1 r00h.
#17

I seem to have lost my whole fanbase. Not that is was big to begin with. sigh This chapter is a little confusing but it [spoil]Foreshadows a major plot twist.[/spoil] ← spoilers! Don’t read if you don’t want the story spoiled.
On with the story!

Chapter 5: Exponential Shrinkage
You know what's weird? The fact that those "Gyoza 2.0" Trucks haven't arrived yet. It's been almost a week now. Sure, that's not that long, but the delivery time said 4-5 business days. I'm suspecting Foal play here. 
Pizza Palace has had an easy time in this delivery business. Almost no orders have come to Pizza Planet recently though. Are they spicing up their pizza somehow? The orders are shrinking exponentially, according to a graph I made of the orders received per day. Only machines are capable of shrinking things (or growing things) exponentially. Natural order often has a linear shrink.  One customer of note this week was a man by the name of "Al." He ordered 3 Jumbo sized Meatball Supreme Combo Pizza's. And the address he gave was a toy barn! Yeah, it was awkward when I went to open that door. I think this man eats too much. We'll see what happens in this coming week.
#18

I finally decided to update again! But It is getting tedious to corrupt everything. So use your imagination for now, and I’ll go ahead and corrupt it later if someone wants to see it corrupted. More [spoil] foreshadowing ahead. [/spoil]

Chapter 6: Lame
These last few days have ben rather lame I must say. The corruption has completely taken over my system, and I still have no explanation for it. My two theories have almost no new proof towards nor against them. And so, I have nothing to do but be controlled by the corruption and live my life. How lame!
The deliveries have been rather slow lately, with an average of 6-7 a day. While driving along the road, I see a lot of Pizza Palace's trucks. they must be getting a good amount of deliveries. I'll have to wait a few days to see if anything new surfaces.
#19

It’s great that you’re persisting, even though you may think your fanbase has disappeared. Maybe you should design a promotional image sig (you know, like how posters promote movies?) to draw more traffic? Also, leave comments on other people’s fanfics, if you haven’t already done that. I’m sure if you offer your friendly advice and criticisms, people will be more than please do reciprocate! :slight_smile:

Also, you have to make your tension more immediate and intense. Curious things happening and all that are intriguing, but readers will want to see interaction between your characters and identify with them, otherwise they won’t be interested.

So perhaps you can set up an accident between the Pizza Planet Truck and one of the Pizza Palace’s trucks. Then the Pizza Palace driver threatens Adam with a lawsuit.

Or a bank robber hijacks Adam’s truck and demands him to evade the pursuing cops.

Or maybe Adam borrows the Pizza Planet Truck for personal use to fetch his girlfriend to school, and the Pizza Planet Truck doesn’t like it and retaliates by refusing to start, or squirting oil on the girlfriend or something.

These minor ‘crisis moments’ don’t have to be related to the larger arc of the mysterious hacking and corruption of the Pizza Planet Truck’s files (although it would be better if ties in), but they help to sustain reader interest. If you can show interaction or relationships between the characters (like the example of Adam using the Pizza Planet Truck for his girlfriend), even better.

Read your favourite fanfics again and observe how the writer grabs your attention and sustains it. Or watch your favourite TV shows and see how they always end an episode on a dramatic cliffhanger, rather than 'I wonder what’s going on… things are getting kinda weird."

Just constructive criticism, I like how you’re trying to develop a mystery for this story (I’m betting it’s industrial espionage or unfair business competition from that sneaky Pizza Palace… :slight_smile:), but try to make it more exciting and have little ‘character-driven moments’.

Keep on swimming! :slight_smile:

P.S. I like the A-Team and J.L. cameos!

#20

Keep going. Interesting to read. :slight_smile: