So, well, I don’t like doing things like this, but I need some help with this, so… here goes:
There’s this girl that used to be my mortal enemy (in the nicest possible way). As the years went on, we became close friends, but now that she’s moved away, she still visits often. Everyone around me in those instances tells me we would make a great couple, and I really do have feelings for her. People have told me she really likes me back, but just doesn’t admit it. But I don’t want to come on too strong if that’s not true. Can you please give me some advice?
Also, I’d love it if this thread could become a place for all unlucky in dating to get advice from.
If I were in your situation, I would keep up the contact with her but also ask her if you two could go out places by yourselves, but don’t call it a “date.” Get to know her as a friend first and if she likes you, you’ll either know this by her friends (girls usually tell their friends if they like a guy, and in turn, they will usually tell you.) Or she will give you hints herself. Either way, just keep spending time with her and you’ll eventually be able to gauge her feelings for you.
How old are you, though? If you are younger than 15, don’t stress too much. I know it may seem like a big deal now but just go with the flow at that age. There is plenty of time to stress about relationships later in life.
Yeah, like Rachel said, if you’re under 15, then don’t worry about it. there are more important things to worry about at your age. Trust me.
Stay in touch with her, though. There’s nothing wrong with being friends in the meantime. And who knows, she may still be waiting for you as you get older.
I agree with rachel. Start off slow at first, but don’t force the relationship. Let it gradually develop. Relationships get stronger over time. SO start as friends, and you will know when to make that transition.
It’s usually best to really get to know the person inside out before embarking on a relationship. If she feels the same way about you, she should be dropping a few hints, but if your relationship as friends is strong, she may be afraid to spoil what you do have- in the same way that you’re worried.
Also, it’s not always a good idea to trust what other people say in concerns to her feelings about you, even if you’re good friends with them. It’s always best to hear it from the horse’s mouth, so to speak.
Just relax, enjoy what you’ve got, and if you both feel it is right for the two of you to progress your relationship, then do so, but as others have said already, don’t rush anything.
Just pull him aside and tell him you feel uncomfortable. My friend had one of my best friends doing that to her, and so she pulled him aside and told him how she felt. Now we’re joking about it and he’s actually moved on.
lizardgirl - Just tell him you don’t really feel any connection between you two, and you just want to be friends. Or you could tell him that you’re gay.
Well, you are breaking up with someone, so he is going to feel very hurt. THere is no way around it, it just happens. What you should do is tell him that you think he is a great guy but the relationship between you and him isn’t working. Tell him it is better to be friends. Tell him the truth, straight-up.
That is very good advice, but I’m not breaking up with him- I’m not with him at all. He just keeps pestering me.
And here was me thinking that when I explicitly rejected him for another guy the first time round, it would be obvious that I didn’t ever want the two of us to be more than friends.
Thanks for the advice, guys. You’re right, there’s no way around it aside from just telling him. Or I could use Rachel’s idea. It’s rather tempting, since there’s not a single guy that I know right now that I’d like to go out with, so it’s not as if I’d be missing out on much.
