Here’s Chapter One. Hopefully you guys like it. It’s got lots of humor, and some parody jokes hidden in there. To start you off, there’s a reference to How to Train Your Dragon. See if you can find any of the others! 
So, without any more to say…
Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep!
It was another boring day in the village of Dasani, a village 100 miles south of hopeless and ¼ of a degree north of freezing to death. A girl woke up from a sleeping bag, and snoozed her alarm clock. A boy who looked older than her was still snoring in his sleeping bag. An old lady in a parka was outside an igloo flipping some pancakes on a cast iron pan.
“Kat! Sven! I made crepes!” announced the old lady.
The girl, Katarina Hansenshiver, stepped out of the igloo, dressed in a parka, jeans, fur boots, mittens, and even a horned helmet.
“That’s great Granny,” began Katarina, “Sven is still sleeping, however. We actually plan to set out on a fishing trip today.”
“Well, you better get you sleepy-headed brother up n’ at ‘em if you want the best catch of the day,” answered Kanda, the grandmother.
At that moment, a loud, radio-like noise sounded from inside the igloo. The noise announced in a French accent, saying “Come visit Aquafina! We’ve got ice sculpting, coffee, croissants, ballet, maitrîse de l’eau, and even a picturesque oasis with poissons in them. So visit Aquafina today, ze water is just fine! Located in scenic North Pole, on the banks of Glaceau Bay. This message is approved by Princess Yvonne of Aquafina.”
Sven, the older boy, stumbled out of the igloo, awakened by both the loud radio advertisement and the smell of the fresh jelly-filled crepes sprinkled with powdered sugar. He managed to get on a horned helmet and a fur vest.
“You made pannkakor this morning?” Sven began, “That’s great Granny.”
While Katarina and Sven sat down to eat their breakfast, Kanda walked over to a weaving loom, where she was working on a large blue-and purple rug for their igloo home.
“That’s a pretty rug,” Katarina began, “Well, better get going. The herring and salmon don’t catch themselves!”
Katarina walked back inside the igloo, where she pulled out a small blue purse with the chemical abbreviation “H2¬O” written on it. She and Sven were now ready for their fishing trip.
“It is I, Sven Hansenshiver! Boomerang Extraordinaire!” announced Sven in a Scandinavian-type accent as Katarina rowed the canoe, “I will fight all raiding bad guys who want to ruin Dasani!”
“Sven, the accent is a bit annoying,” Katarina began, “Besides, we have to look out for herring and salmon.”
“Fine,” Sven answered, putting down his boomerang and wooden shield.
As Sven sat in the canoe, looking all grumpy, Katarina threw a net into the ice cold water. She then moved her hands and arms around as if she were dancing ballet. But as she did, the water raised like tides; almost as if it was following her lead.
“Kat, what are you doing?” Sven asked.
“Using my hydrokinesis to lure the fish into the net,” Katarina replied, “I wish we had a ballet school here to help me master my hydrokinetic powers. Too bad they only have one in Aquafina.”
“Like we’d really go up all the way to the North Pole just so you could get into ballet school,” Sven mocked.
“Yeah,” Katarina sighed, “Besides, I think our net is full.”
Katarina pulled out the net from the water; schools of herring and salmon filling their catch. Since they had enough fish now for food in their village, they began to turn their boat around, when all of a sudden, they hit something.
“What was that?” began Sven, startled.
“I have no idea,” Katarina was confused too, “Sounded like rusted metal. Maybe we should check it out. For all I know, it could be ruins, or a bomb.”
“You’re right,” Sven agreed, “But what about the fish?”
“They’ll be just fine,” Katarina answered, stepping out of the boat. She rubbed the snow off a small ice structure, and discovered a metal hatch.
“Sven! Check this out!” Katarina called for her brother.
Sven ran towards the hatch. He hit the thing with his boomerang and the door broke off. He looked inside and saw a ladder.
“Let’s have a look,” Sven thought, “After you.”
Katarina steeped into the hatch, and began climbing down the ladder. Sven followed after her.
“It’s pretty dark in here,” began Katarina, “Wonder what this leads to.”
Katarina and Sven landed in a large room, dimly lit with some neon blue lighting and hanging lamps. There were tables all around, with apparatuses consisting of beakers and test tubes. There were also broken computers, and everything was covered in a thin layer of frost and ice. Icicles also dangled from the ceiling and incandescent lamps.
“What is this?” Sven began in amazement.
“It looks like some sort of frozen old abandoned underground laboratory,” Katarina analyzed the surroundings.
“Then let’s be very careful,” Sven grew cautious, “Judging from the yellow ‘radioactive’ and red
‘biohazard’ signs, I say we watch our step.”
The two siblings moved slowly through the lab, being as careful as possible not to disturb the quiet, yet eerie peace that permeated the facility.
“Kat, you should check this out,” Sven seemed excited.
Katarina ran right over and saw what appeared to be a large cylindrical tank filled with ice and sealed shut. However, something else besides the tank seemed to have caught her attention.
“Ooooh!” Katarina exclaimed, “What does this button do?!?!?”
“Dee Dee! No!” Sven shouted in despair, this time with a Russian-sounding accent.
Unfortunately, it was already too late; Katarina had pushed the big red button. In an instant, an alarm began to sound, but then it stopped. However, the giant tank opened, and the chunk of ice that was housed inside it began to melt.
“Kat! What have you done?!” Sven grew agitated.
“Let’s talk about this another time,” Katarina advised her brother, “I think there’s something inside the ice.”
Sven ran towards the tank, and he picked up a bucket to collect the running water from the tank so he could dump it into a nearby sink. Katarina did the same, because although she was hydrokinetic, her powers were only amateur. However, nothing could have prepared the pair for what was about to happen next.
“Sven! Find the stop button!” Katarina exclaimed, her eyes wide with fear.
As Katarina climbed up the tank, Sven pressed every button on the control panel, trying to stop the mechanism his sister had activated by accident. Fortunately, he found a tiny green button that did the trick.
“I did it Kat!” Sven exclaimed, “Kat? What’s going on?”
Sven climbed up the machine, only to find Katarina cradling a small, sleeping boy of about twelve years of age in her arms. The child was dressed in baggy, oversized orange and yellow clothes, and on his head was a baseball cap with a blue arrow on it. The girl gently laid one side of her head to his chest, and she also pressed two of her fingers to one of his wrists.
“What are you doing?” asked Sven.
“Shhh!” Katarina warned him to be quiet, “I’m trying to see if he’s breathing. I think he’s alive. He’s got a pulse.”
Katarina pulled back slightly, still holding the boy. The child placed a hand on her, and then let it slide down. His eyes slowly began to open, and he started to gasp for breath. Sven stepped back a little.
“Sven, it’s alright,” began Katarina, “He appears to be harmless.”
Katarina stepped back as well, when all of a sudden, the little boy came to life, breaking into dance moves.
“A hip-hop dancer?!?” Sven was startled, “Seriously, they haven’t been seen in over one hundred—”
“Shhh!” Katarina let out a loud whisper, “Let him dance.”
“Yo yo yo!” began the hip-hop dancing boy, rapping over an auto-tune microphone, “My name is Andy Breeze! Pleased to meet you homies, I’m a hip-hop dancer who’s got that boom boom pow, ‘cause that’s how I roll, all up in the air! Give me a holla’!”
Katarina and Sven stood in shock. In all their lives, they have never seen a hip-hop dancer so spunky and full of energy, let alone a live hip-hop dancer. All of a sudden, Andy fell on the metal base of the machine.
“Andy!” began Katarina, “What’s going on?”
Andy struggled to speak, “Please—please get me—something to eat…”
I also used Google Translate to make sure my French, Swedish, Chinese, and spanish were correct in some of the locations mentioned.