Ahhh, i did see that one! He completely derails the sarcasm by his own admission, which is a shame. 
At least you had the decency to post a link to a movie that most people have seen before, instead of spoilers in reviews from a movie that was just released.
Also, it is cool that the guy or girl mentioned Mary Kate and Ashley’s “The Challenge.” I applaud them for that.
I personally love the review right below it, where of course, just as I expected, the user goes on a pretentious tirade about how anime is soooo much better than American animation because American animation is always pretty visuals and no substance. Apparently no piece of American animation has EVER had substance. Ever. This is what really annoys me about people who categorize “American animation” (or worse, “Western animation”) and “anime” into two separate, definite groups just so they can bash our stuff and glorify the Japanese stuff (I don’t care if you prefer to watch anime, just don’t be a jerk about it). Because, like, its not like those are vast and varied story telling mediums with good and bad examples in both of them. Nope, anime=good and American=mediocre. Always. Its just a chance to pat themselves on the back for their tastes and then look down upon us simple, uncultured westerners.
Both anime series Princess Tutu’s Duck and Fakir and American series Justice League Unlimited’s the Question agree with me. nods
Honestly the Cars 2 torture review is hilarious to me, he sounds funny actually even if I do in fact eventually enjoy the movie when I see it. Sounds like my kind of friend- even if we may come to disagree on things sounds like he’d make me laugh about it anyway and not take it too seriously.
Re: parent issues.
When it comes to certain things parents are over-protective but I think it all depends. I mean if I was to see two characters suddenly making sweet monkey love right on the screen in a U film I’d take issue with that. I think a LITTLE blood is okay (like say… Gargoyles or something- Goliath once grabbed a sword by the blade and a little trivkle of blood resulted etc.) but say if someone was abousltely drenched in the stuff and it was graphic then yeah…
I guess the torture scene sounds… um. Interresting but also I guess had potenetial for blow ups (explosions though are fine) But heck there’s nightmare fuel in many a kids film which are amazing subtle.
I think Frollo for instance is perhaps the most interesting villian Disney has EVER animated. And… well damn while I wasn’t a fan as a kid of the movie as an adult I am and it’s rather amazing how much went swooshing past my tiny head as a kid. So many taboos…
Honestly HoND has all the no nos for a kids movie- religious beliefs simply being there in general, someone with religious beliefs protrayed negatively (though some positive ones too let’s face it Frollo is a huge prescence), lusting for women and offering their life for… certain services -flinches-
Frollo is down right diabolical anbd disturbing. He ALSO tortures people too after all, or at least orders it- which is kind of worse- he even gives the tortuer tips!
[i]Frollo: [supervising someone being whipped, just as Phoebus arrives] Stop.
Torturer: Yes, sir?
Frollo: Ease up. Wait between lashes. Otherwise, the old sting will dull him to the new.
Torturer: Yes, sir.
Frollo: [turns to Phoebus] Ah, so this is the gallant Captain Phoebus, home from the wars.
Phoebus: Reporting for duty as ordered, sir.
Frollo: Your service record precedes you, Phoebus. I expect nothing but the best from a war hero of your caliber.
Phoebus: And you shall have it, sir. I guarantee it.
Frollo: You know, my last captain of the guards was, um, a bit of a disappointment to me.
[whip crack, followed by screaming, frollo smiles] [/i]
I’ll admit I was a sensitive kid which is partially why I didn’t like the movie back then even though I wasn’;t sure WHY as a kid. But most kids can deal with it and when you’re subtle you can get a way with a lot.
I mean I guess there is a torture thing, but it doesn’t mean they necessarily show it in all it’s glory (sounds alone can be better- and your own imagination can do enough of the work for you at times)- and even so, while we are to empathsise with the characters… they’re cars so it wouldn’t be like seeing a human or monster say like that- plus I kind of figure Cars are like Toy Story in that they can be torn to bits but put back together again- as long as they’re not incinerated or something like that.
Granted I guess if your car started to scream as you dismantled it that would still be disturbing.
Still now I want to see the movie more if only because I’m so curious about this scene they’re talking about and judge for myself.
^Thanks for that. Now I can never watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame again without throwing up.
Haha hilarious. THese reviews are all hilarious.
This review of Justin Bieber: Never Say Never on IMDb made me laugh:
^That is one of the most humorously pathetic things I’ve ever read. 
rottentomatoes.com/m/winnie_ … id=1978420
This one about Winnie the Pooh. It doesn’t exactly crack me up, but instead make me sad.
So basically he’s always had a negative opinion of Winnie the Pooh. Shame, I remember an old VHS of The Honey Tree I used to watch.
That one just angered me a little.
I’m sorry to bump this topic, but I just felt I HAD to post this review here. It’s perfect for this topic. It’s a bad Amazon review of Finding Nemo, well not exactly a review, but more of a rant of the things that went wrong during his viewing experience. I don’t know whenever to take it seriously or not. I guess the review itself is gone since I can’t find it anywhere, but a blog managed to back it up.
Hilarious! He advices everyone else to avoid it just because HE had a bad experience watching it! Comedy gold.
Any reviews by Armond White gets a laugh out of me.
^ Ha! I heard the place he wrote for is gone now.
Geoff, that is a pretty silly and hilarious review you found!
Yep. I just find it funny how he gives every critically aclaimed film he’s seen a negative review.
^ And gives Positive reviews to Movies that generally get negative reviews.
Exactly. That makes me to believe what he thinks of Cars 2 since it was a critical disappointment.
That very humorous review of Finding Nemo brings up an interesting point–when the review is so bad it cracks you up, it might be a “fake” written to achieve the comic effect. Back in the 80s, a review of Stanley Kubrick’s film The Shining appeared (can’t remember the author, but it might have been Tom Shales) in The Washington Post. The review stated with deadly certainty that The Shining was absolutely a metaphor delineating the extermination of Native Americans. The evidence cited was quite extensive. To this day, folks who know about the review can’t say whether it was for real or contrived to demonstrate how reviewers can basically come up with anything they want. Maybe it stemmed from a sense of dry, deadpan humor…who knows?
In general, crack-me-up reviews are the ones that get their facts wrong and badmouth the movie based on the erroneous “facts”…and there are far too many of those to count.
Same
Although the one Geoff found is hilarious 
My god, I was looking on IMDb and found this review of A Bug’s Life. He’s comparing the premise of the movie to terrorism and making out like the grasshoppers are the good guys. Just read this.
I couldn’t stop laughing when he compared Flik to Osama Bin Laden and the circus bugs to Al Qaeda. It can’t be serious, right?