Bad Reviews That Crack You Up

So I know a lot of people are mortified by Cars 2’s less than impressive reviews, and I get the sense that many feel that the reviews are unfair. So instead of being miserable, let’s put an amusing spin on things… :smiley:

Which reviews are so outlandishly and hilariously bad that you just cannot take them seriously?

There is a review of WALL-E on RT by some bloke called Louis Proyect, who states that the film is “Vastly overrated movie with all the charm of two vacuum cleaners making love”. I would be understanding, had his review actually looked as though he had actually finished watching the film. What made me laugh even more is when the Film Vault podcast discussed WALL-E, and they went on RT to find why it didn’t get a 100% score, and they were taking the absolute micky out of this guy in his review 8D

I know its going to come up, but Armond White’s Toy Story 3 review. He got the villain’s name wrong, and thought that Hamm was the bad guy :smiley:

Actually, I would love to see a movie about two vaccuum cleaners falling in love from Pixar. As far as I understood, not having seen the film, Wall-E and Eve are robots, not vacuum cleaners. … iews/adult
That is all.

Parent’s today are WAY to over protective. They see a little explosion and freak out.

“I have not actually seen Cars 2. My ratings are based solely on viewing the trailer, which made me so disappointed”


Is it really that violent?

I used to imagine explosions, car wrecks, and ridiculous deaths when playing with toys. Was I weird or something?

Not at all, Bryko :slight_smile:. So much mollycoddling these days, it aint a perfect world, y’know!

I guess we are considered “violent” to today’s parents.

I personally adore the parent reviews where they self-righteously say “Hollywood needs to invoke better family values and less scary visuals for our children.” Basically, what they are saying is “Every movie maker ever needs to listen to exactly what I want for my kids, or bring the Hay’s Code back. Either one.”

“Cars 2 feels like a rival animation studio trying to copy the Pixar formula - and failing.” -Christian Toto

That’s just…

Why did I click that? NOw I know someone is going to die…and I don’t care if I’m spoiling anybody because I was spoiled just now…UGH.

Gotta love that whole ‘we gotta protect the kiddies from all the bad stuff’ mentality. Um, lets think of what movies I saw as a kid that had violence in them. Little Mermaid, Aladdin, Lion King, JAMES BOND. That’s right, I started watching Bond movies when I was kid, and it didnt traumatize me any. Neither did watching the Star Wars trilogy for the 1st time. Thats got violence in it. Parents are waaaay too overprotective sometimes and underestimate what their kids can take. You know what I heard from kids at the movie? When [spoil]Finn starts shooting up the oil rig and knocks down the oil barrels and causes the chain of explosions[/spoil] the kid next to me (probably was about 7 or 8 ) was going “Cool…COOL!..oh WOW!” And yes, kids do make up games and stuff when they play that can involve ‘violence’ and ‘death’, pretend though they be. They can handle it.

On a related note, for all the people that say there’s too much ‘violence’ in it, I’ve also come across people who say they cant connect to this movie for the same reason as the first. Cuz its talking cars. Now to me, these 2 arguments negate each other…

My sister and I had our Hot Wheels date. Our stuffed animals went to hotels, rode trains, etc. I did group a bunch of Hot Wheels together in a circle then ram another into them, and I called it “Crash,” but it was not a wreck or anything…it was more like a crowd of people and one trying to elbow its way through.

No violence there. But then again, most American boys are like Sid, and so I guess you being a Sid isn’t strange at all.

I watched Bond films as a kid, too, lennonluvr, and they didn’t bother me myself either. Same with Star Wars, Indiana Jones,…heck. What’s everybody’s problem? I seriously can not imagine this movie being more violent or offensive then The Incredibles. :unamused: Just saying.

Just read the top review in this link. You won’t believe it. I was laughing so hard because I had NO idea what this guy was talking about. This bad review of Monsters Inc simply makes NO sense at all: … ilter=hate

He/she can’t be serious, right?! 8D

I’m not sure. I also love how he refers John Goodman as a “she” and mentions hairstyles when it’s mostly about monsters.

Yeah, I started laughing when he went “must be the hairstyle” and continued laughing until the end of the paragraph :smiley:

This one is just as funny. I already mentioned this on the Cars 2 Reviews thread, but I feel it must be seen here as well. It’s a review of Cars 2 on IMDb: