How to behave on an internet forum...

[KyrieEleison]

Okay, so I found this video online, and it was just so funny I wanted to share it with you. However, it’s not very appropriate for younger eyes and ears, so I copied and pasted (and edited) the transcript so you could read it. I swear, on some forums I visit, this needs to be required reading…

How To Behave On An Internet Forum
Internet forums are either a brilliant community where you can meet and chat with new, interesting people, or full of scornful idiots who deserve to be banned from The Net in its entirety. This film explains some of the common mistakes people make in forums, which makes them the sort of loathsome fool no one wants to know.

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Step 1:
Flame Wars
By-and-large, the trouble with The Internet, and forums in particular, is that everyone gets to be anonymous. That essentially gives them free reign to be as snooty and argumentative as they like.

A ‘troll’ posts deliberately controversial or annoying messages for the specific purpose of getting a rise out of people and initiating a hate-filled and overly-argumentative thread. The appropriate course of action is simply not to respond. Don’t feed the troll.

Step 2:
Godwin’s Law
Godwin’s Law states that “as an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.”

What that means in real terms is that sooner or later someone involved in a forum argument will be likened to a Nazi, or displaying Hitler-like tendencies.

Please note that if you’re the one invoking Godwin’s Law and likening someone to a Nazi, you’ve immediately lost the argument because it’s such a lame-as-heck low blow.

Step 3:
Fanboys
Approximately 99.9% of all online forums are based around videogames. Sadly, there are several members of the videogame community who have such an overly-fanatical devotion to their particular console that they’re somehow incapable of admitting any other system might have good features too. They’re best ignored, because ‘Fanboys’ are basically a special subset of ‘Troll’, and as such are all Nazis and/ or Hitler.

Step 4:
Teenagers
Sadly, teenagers are allowed on The Internet too. They have funny ways of spelling and don’t understand that proper grownups don’t want to put up with their pubescent attempts at ‘humour’. There’s nothing you can do about Teenagers on The Internet, you’ll just have to learn to circumnavigate them.

Not all teenagers are evil, mind. Just most of them.

Step 5:
Post Count
Every time you post, your post count goes up by one. Some people seem to think that the higher the post count, the more worthy and valuable they are to society at large. Frankly, the exact opposite seems to be the case; posting just to up your count is insanely annoying, so make sure all your messages add to a discussion in some way. If you’re replying in a thread, make sure what you’re writing is funny, interesting or funny and interesting. “yeh i agree lol” is not, in any way, shape or form, a valid reply, ever.

Step 6:
Respect the Admins
It’s their website, and they can do whatever the heck they like with it. You’re a guest, and hassling them about how they run things is akin to going round your Auntie’s house and beating her over the head with her tea-pot.

Step 7:
DON’T USE ALL CAPS IN YOUR POST
EVER.
‘Shouting’ through the written word is pointless and annoying, clearly.

Step 8:
Lurk Before Posting
Don’t just jump in to the forums spouting off reams and reams your amazing knowledge of the intricacies of World of Warcraft. In Binary.

Lurk around a bit first and read some threads to see whether or not that’s even remotely the sort of thing people there would be interested in.

Step 9:
Keep On Topic
If a thread’s all about how amazing a new 2D Sonic the Hedgehog game would be, don’t derail it and start talking about something else entirely, like Chun Li’s dress. Make a new thread if you absolutely must.

Step 10:
Picture Etiquette
Don’t post massive pictures that are wider than most peoples’ screens. What’s more, don’t post massive pictures of anything gross in case people are at work.

Step 11:
NSFW
What’s more, make sure you mark any risqué links as Not Safe For Work, just in case, and make sure doing so is in keeping with the forum’s tone.

By and large, just remember to be excellent to each other. Be all civil and pleasant. Keep your tongue firmly in your cheek and get a nice thick skin.

BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
It turns out there’s even more annoying stuff people do that we simply couldn’t squeeze into the film…

Step 12:
Signatures
…should be small and tasteful. Massive graphics plugging something you’re selling are a right royal no-no. Text is very much preferable.

Step 13:
Avatars
Your profile pic is how people picture you, so choose something good-looking, funny or interesting. Pretty much anything goes, just make sure it isn’t ugly or annoying and fits with the tone of the forum.

Step 14:
Gravedigging
Old threads are old for a reason, and that reason is that noone’s interested in discussing that anymore. Unless you’ve got an outrageously good reason to do so, leave dead threads to Rest in Peace.

Step 15:
Drama
Used properly, The Internet can be a tool for good. If used for overblown, melodramatic weepy Emo nonsense, it’s ruined and needs to be scrubbed clean. Learn to relax and take everything in your stride. Noone’s on The Internet to get all stressed and angsty, we’re all just here for a good time. So leave all your haughty drivel at the door.

Step 16:
Smilies
If used sparingly a smiley can emphasise a point: sarcasm comes across extremely poorly in forums – almost dangerously so. A quick winky will sort that. Reams and reams of extravagant animated smileys performing all manner of wacky acts are annoying, and are the sort of thing your mum would do, were she able to use a computer.

Step 17:
Read the FAQ and Forum Rules
Because they’ll tell you how the community there likes people to act. They’re there for a reason.

The stuff in quotes is the property of the site that made it. I’d link to it, but like I said, the video in its original form isn’t the sort of thing that we post around here…

[WBoon]

Hmm… I watched a similar video to this (it reminded me of those educational videos American teachers made students went through). Looks like it covered on most, if not all etiquettes of an Internet forum, though I still don’t get the Godwin’s Law section…

Anyway, I am reaching eighteen soon, so I think the video would be appropriate for me, so send me a PM or something if you want to.

[Sky]

Some very applicable points, there.

[KyrieEleison]

Oh, yes, rachel. In fact, I just watched it again last night, and I think it needs to be required reading for every forum ever. Just about everyone could learn something from this.

[The_Star_Swordsman]

KE: ooh, intresting points. I have found to have been (and currently) guilty of some of these points. Thanks for posting it up. I think I learned something from it.