(joke belongs to Mitch Hedberg) I felt that he deserved credit.
My freind says “You have no idea how hard it is to stop smoking!” and I said “I’m guessing its like trying to start flossing”.
What do yo call someone who sticks their right hand down a lion’s throat?
[spoil]Lefty[/spoil] ← Highlight for answer
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How many chauvinist men does it take to screw in a light bulb in the kitchen?
[spoil]None. Let the woman cook in the dark.[/spoil]
Not very nice I know, but it’s more at the men right?
Why does the seagull fly over the sea?
[spoil]Because if he flew over the bay, he would be a bagel.[/spoil]
My 9-year old sister made this one up. It’s funnier when you say it instead of writing it…
One night, a man and a woman went onto a boat. No one else came in before or after them. When the boat docked, the man and the woman got out. Who was left on the boat?
[spoil]the knight[/spoil] 
Oooh, that was clever.
mutanthairything - Ha! That’s actually pretty ingenious. She just made that up? That’s great.
– Mitch
mutanthairything: She just made it up? What a coincidence! I heard the exact same joke in school recently, only instead of man and woman, they said king and queen.