Just one of those things...

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#1

'Ello, all. Since I’m

still feeling particularly post-happy this month, I found myself at it again –

posting another topic that, in this case, can be summarized as me all

over…

Introverts - Do you ever have that problem – that one, annoying

problem – where everything seems to collapse onto your shoulders for no reason? Where you want to express your

ut-most feelings to a group of people, but have not the courage to thrust yourself into the outside world? Just

one of those dreary days where you feel like you don’t belong…

Well, that would be me. You see, I’ve

always had this problem with being extremely shy and introverted around others I usually feel comfortable with.

Myself being a non-extrovertive teenager, I’ve always had a problem communicating with people with whom I love

to be around. For example, I will join a forum/message board that involves topics of interest to me (ie.,

Harry Potter, The Lord of the Rings, etc.), hoping to

acquire some admiration and acceptance. Unfortunately, for me, it never works out that way…

This always

happens on every, single website/forum board I join. I become a member, make some

friends, and feel comfortable…for a short period of time. Then, after a few weeks or a couple of months, I

begin to feel anxious and deserted. Simply stated, I want to feel accepted. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am never

treated unfairly at these websites that I go to! I always feel extremely over-confident for the first few months

of posting; people favor me and I am comfortable around them. Then, after I become well-known around a board, I

begin to get anxious. [i]What if people suddenly start to hate me and not respond to

me?[/i], I’ll think. Or, [i]Should I mess up in one way or another, what will be the

consequences of my actions?[/i]. So, I start to act anxious, afraid, and extremely introverted just

like “that”.

And now…this same thing is happening to me at Pixar Planet. It’s like a virus

or something; I can’t shake it off! Please understand that I do

not hold anything against any of you guys at all –

it’s just me…and me only. What I would like to know is how to get rid of this problem of mine. How can I make

myself feel more confident in myself and less introverted around others? I’ve asked numerous people – my mom,

my dad, my internet friends – this same question, with positive and encouraging feed-back returned, but I always

go back to my usual…down-beat self. Understandably, I don’t want this problem to get so bad that I leave this

site. I’m pretty sure that that won’t happen…but still.

Help? :blush:

–

Mitch

P.S. Of course, the fact that I have my evil…umm…period…may have

something to do with the way I’m feeling right now. :unamused:

#2

Oh, yes, I’m a world-class introvert as well.

:smiley: Which, like you, is exactly why I turned to the wonderful world of online forums. So, in that respect I can

relate almost perfectly. I can’t say I have your same problem of self-consciousness online, though; all the

boards I’ve left, I did so because of becoming fed up with other people, as opposed to because of being worried

about it being vice-versa. I know it’s easier said than done (what isn’t in

life?), but I just act the way I feel that I ought to act and try my darnedest to be intelligent. All I know

about you is from what I’ve seen in your posts here on the board, but from that it certainly looks to me like

you’re fitting right in. :slight_smile:

As I said, I’ve never had any problems with introversion online, so I don’t

really have any true advice for that, but I know that if I ever feel like I’m starting to drift away a little

bit, that I’ve been watching more than participating (which has certainly happened more than a few times), I

just look for an opportunity to make a big, intelligent (or so at least I think), and thought-provoking post, or

even an entirely new thread if I can’t find anything good, and it’ll seem to get me back into my groove right

quickly. I actually just did it a week or so ago, and I’ve already noticed that I’ve been actively

participating a lot more once again.

#3

Wow – I

definitely have to respond to this…piece-by-piece. :slight_smile:

I also had the same problem on two other forum boards: people around there made me

feel uncomfortable and unwanted. I got pushed off to the side; not that the posters meant any harm, but still.

Well,

thank you, sir. :wink:

I’ve also noticed that this seems to get me back “in the mood” for a

certain period of time, but the result is, unfortunately, short-lived. I’m used to behaving in an intelligent

and formal manner, and this usually comes out in my posts…for a time. My main weakness on forum boards is

seeing other peoples’ sloppy, illegible posts, and I soon begin to type the same way since I am influenced to do

so. And then, I lose my true self again. It sucks. I’ve tried to jump back from it too, but to no avail.

However, I will more than likely grow out of this introverted stage. Being a teenager who is unsure of

what will happen next (and yet, who on this planet does know what will happen

next?), I naturally tend to over-react in these types of situations.

I admire your willingness to move

forward and emerge triumphant during moments such as these, DElf4242. At least you

don’t show your introverted side – I never knew you even had one! As a matter of fact, I would consider you to

be one of the most extroverted people on the boards, besides the supervisors and moderators, of course.

But, of course, I shouldn’t complain about my troubles. Thank you for your advice, in any case. I did

help me out a little. :wink:

#4

Glad to have been of any

help. :slight_smile: And you should be proud that you’re able to see these sorts of things in yourself and, not only that,

want to do something about them and, above even that, be willing to bring it out into the open and ask for

others’ help.

Which explains perfectly how

I’ve been on the boards over twice as long as you have, yet you have over twice as many posts as I do.

:unamused:

#5

Hmm. That’s interesting. I never thought about it that way before.

I’ll take that into consideration.

Haha! Yeah, well…maybe I do post a little too

much on the boards at times. Although, perhaps it’s a good thing. :wink:

Again, thank you for your words of

wisdom. :smiley:

#6

No, I don’t think you

post too much at all; actually, I think I’m just too tight on my standards for what constitutes a worthy post

from me. Even with this post right now I’m feeling a little, I guess awkward, posting something so short.

:stuck_out_tongue:

#7

DElf - I know exactly how you feel. I hate it when people have to

spend time reading my ridiculously long posts, and yet I can’t help but write them that way. However, I favor

your tendency to post what you think is worthy of saying. I would (also) rather post to describe my views and

opinions on/about something, not just post for the sake of it. I want my writings to appear…"worthy of

reading", I guess. :stuck_out_tongue:

#8

Despite being an extrovert through and through, I do know about something that might be able to help you. You

see, there is a ‘condition’ (not an illness or disease, nothing like that) that

actually effects around 20% of the population, called HSP syndrome- Highly Sensitive Person syndrome. A lot of

people have it, although some have it to a greater extent than others. It’s not technically a bad thing,

although it can lead to introversion (though not all the time- a small percentage of HSPs are extroverts, such as

myself, but it depends on each person’s situation.)

There are many positive sides to this that must be

remembered. Mitch, although you may sometimes feel like you do not fit in (even though it seems like you are

pretty comfortable around here, to me. :smiley:) most people will realise your ability as someone to confide in, and

whose opinions and advice are reliable. Being an HSP means that you’re more intuitive, and that other people’s

moods affect you more profoundly. HSPs are generally more caring and considerate, and are very good at helping

others.

Of course, introversion in itself doesn’t indicate HSP syndrome, though nine times out of ten it

is the case. If you wanna find out more, here’s a useful website-
hsperson.com/

There’s a

little test on there that can pretty accurately tell you whether you’re an HSP. I’ve read the book, and it can

really help because if you’re an HSP, you sometimes feel that you do not understand your own actions and

sensitivity towards others. Realising that you’re an HSP is one step closer to truly understanding yourself, and

there’s also the risk that if a HSP does not comprehend his/her sensitivity, then they neglect it and this can

have a profound effect later in life.

To be honest, it wouldn’t surprise me if several people here are

HSPs, as long term concentration on a particular subject (obsession is too strong a word, I think) is one of the

traits of an HSP.

As I said, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. If you’re aware of it, then you can use

it to your own benefit- awareness has helped me, so I’m sure it will help you. :smiley:

I hope I’ve been of

assistance!

#9

lizardgirl -

Thank you ever so much for that little

article there – it really helped me out alot! I never knew that there was such a thing as HSP – now I know, and

it has made me realize that I am much less the worse for wear. I took the test, and scored a 20, which is a

highly unusual number for a person, so it seems; it appears as if I am more sensitive than I thought. Then, I

read the “Highly Sensitive Child” section of the website, and I brightened up considerably. It seems as

if this particular condition can work out for the better, especially as it, according to the article, appears in

"fifteen to twenty percent of children born with a nervous system that is highly aware and quick to react to

everything." (The Highly Sensitive Child, www.hsperson.com)

Again,

thank you, lizardgirl. I certainly appreciate your helpful advice. :wink:

#10

No problem. :smiley: There’s even a little forum on there

somewhere, so you can talk to thousands of others who experience similar things.

#11

Seriously? I have to check that out! Again, thank you so much, lizardgirl!

:smiley:

(I’m sorry I’m so excited. :wink: (sniggers) )

#12

Lol, don’t worry, I was too. :laughing: