Mutual Misfits

First of all, I’d like to make mention that these small stories are in no way meant to copy/imitate Netbug009’s “story puppies”… I just decided up and out of the blue to begin a collection of small pieces based on the “reject bots” as humans. :wink: (After drawing them out on paper, these guys have a whole new meaning to me.) I had a feeling that if I did not make that disclaimer, I would have some people saying, “Oh these remind me of Netbug’s stuff…” :unamused:

The first few will cover each of the characters and take a peek into their personalities and thoughts. After that, it’ll be a montage of stories depicting random events that these guys go through together. I’ve got some high hopes for these stories, and I hope you’ll be as excited about them as I am! :slight_smile:

So for now, enjoy the first one… :wink:


Speckles in shades of blue began to cover up the bare, white wall that served as an artist’s canvas for a nineteen year-old painter named Vincent. His work was far from simple, yet never borderlining complex. More than an outlet to express his feelings, his paintings on the wall told in impressions the colorful story of his life. He was born with a paintbrush in his hand and raised in a world of creativity and color - until his life took a turn for the worse, and his world was immersed in a dim shade of grey. Right now though, he was feeling rather blue.

Blue - it was such a lonely color. Vin honestly couldn’t remember the last time one of his friends had paid him a visit since the massive supership exodus of 2105. Heck, that was five whole years ago. Most likely, they had become just like every other passenger on the Axiom - outright lazy, over-dependent on automated assistance, and complacent with the idea of living their life in a hoverchair. No wonder they had forgotten about him.

Soon enough, those sad, blue tones began to mingle with light green as memories trickled slowly into Vin’s thoughts. He remembered that day like it was yesterday, and every time he felt as if he had no more inspiration left in him, his mind would wander back to that one day of his childhood that would stand out for the rest of his life…

[i]“You know why I named you Vincent, don’t you?” he remembered the sweet voice of his father asking. The tall, handsome man was currently in the process of sketching out a rough composition resembling his four year-old son, and with a smile he paused from his work to look back at little Vincent. The boy shook his head, furrowing his brow.

“No,” he honestly replied, shuffling his feet. He stood on his tiptoes to take a peek at Leon’s work, but his father kept it well out of Vincent’s sight until it was finished.

“Vincent Van Gogh was an incredible artist,” Leon replied, continuing his work. “There’s no doubt that artist’s blood runs in your veins - I sensed it from the moment you were conceived. One of your great grandfather’s paintings hangs on the wall of a New York studio, your grandfather worked on over twenty Disney classic films, and I was raised in the world of art and animation my whole life. Not to mention your mother, who is an extremely talented cartoonist. I have no doubts that some form of artistic ability is going to show through you as well.”

Vincent smiled, sensing the passion his father had for art. Something welled up inside of him as he listened to Leon speak - he wanted to have that same passion.

“I was named after Leonardo Da Vinci, who painted the Mona Lisa and designed inventions too far advanced for his time,” Leon continued as he finalized the drawing; erasing the sketchy lines and defining details.

“What did Vincent Van Gogh do?” Vincent timidly wondered.

“He was an impressionist,” Leon replied. “He painted pictures based on how he felt. In fact, once in an attempt to portray pain through his painting, he cut off his ear!”

Vincent’s eyes grew wide.

“Not that you’ll go cutting off your ear someday, trying to express pain,” Leon finished, laughing as he spoke. “What I’m saying is this…” He turned around again and handed his sketchbook to Vincent. “You paint [/i]your picture based on how you feel. Every feeling and mood can be matched to a color; and the events of your life are your inspiration for what you decide to paint.” Vincent stared wide-eyed at the accurate drawing of himself for several moments, then gazed up into the tender, loving eyes of his father. “And if you ever feel like you have no inspiration left, just think of me. You are my inspiration, so I can be yours.”

Those green strokes on the wall turned into yellow bursts as Vin fondly recalled that intimate moment with his father, and how it had first sparked the desire to become an artist just like him. Even though his father had passed away when Vin was a child, thinking about him always brought a strange happiness to his heart. He left the lonliness of blue behind and dove into a joyful realm of yellows and greens; barely paying attention to the dexterous movement and fluidity of his strokes.

Despite his mood, Vin was continually painting. He had a story to tell, and every moment that passed inspired something new to add to this blank canvas.

Unfortunately, he was unaware that his constant painting was quickly becoming an inconvenience to the other passengers in the cabins closeby. Paint fumes never bothered him, but they certainly bothered other people that passed by his cabin.

You know, I’ve never really thought about that…but now that I’ve seen this it’s exactly how I would imagine them! nice! Post more! :smiley: Kepp going! People will visit this thread!


They were sure it was incurable. Whatever was wrong with this kid was unfortunately going to stay with him the rest of his life.

It was hard to tell if it was severe ADD, moderate brain damage, or simply a chemical reaction that occurred in his body at the smell or taste of sugar. As a child, he was labeled ADD in school - the one kid in class who could never sit still, pay attention, or complete his homework because he had forgotten what was taught. He was normally overly hyper and ran before he walked, often resulting in some sort of accident. And because of this, he had been rejected by just about everyone.

Not that he could help this compulsive behavior, of course. It was simply who he was: a young blonde-haired, blue-eyed sixteen year-old named Hans.

As a preteen, he had been sent to a sterile mental institution in which he was urged to act “normal” and to “calm down”. But they quickly realized that this was virtually impossible for Hans to do. His first year on the Axiom brought a similar set of complications. As soon as the Rehab Clinic had been opened (many compared it to the Repair Ward, which was designated to fix malfunctioning robots), he was sent straight there and put on medication that promised his brain a dose of sanity.

It hadn’t worked. He appeared calm for just under an hour, then the medication would suddenly “wear off.”

Frustrated with the teen’s seemingly overwhelming condition, the doctors at the clinic kicked him out and ordered him not to return - not even for a prescription refill.

“Watch it, dumb kid!” a man in his hoverchair suddenly screamed at Hans, who was still staring blankly at the clinic doors. The angry man had dropped his cup onto the floor in the collision, and its contents spilled everywhere. People coming up behind him ended up forming a huge pile-up, and several people actually fell out of their seats. The entire time, Hans watched in dismay and clenched his fists in nervousness.

“Look what you’ve done, idiot!” the same man yelled, climbing out of his seat. “I’m gonna get a Steward over here to deal with ya, loser! I spilled my lunch on the floor because you were standing right on the light path!” He cupped his hands around his mouth and turned from Hans. “Stewards! Over here!”

Instantly, Hans tore off, not wanting to get in trouble again. The man, along with some of the other victims, yelled after him, but he never looked back. He found himself stopping to catch his breath at a small coffee shop, where people were sitting around tables chatting and sipping lattes. He was immediately drawn in by the delicious smells, and he wormed his way into line to get something to drink; quickly searching his pocket for a bit of extra cash.

After ordering, he walked back to the tables and stirred his cappuccino as if his life depended on it. After blowing on it a bit, he began to rapidly down his hot drink.

Several people simply watched Hans’s unusual actions with rather uneasy looks on their faces.

No sooner had he finished his drink, he could feel energy beginning to bubble up inside of him. Caffeine. It didn’t take very long for him to react to it, and in just a very few short moments he’d rocket away and probably cause some accident somewhere else…

“Halt!” A robotic voice called, and the drone of low sirens slowly became louder. Hans snapped his head toward the sound and saw five Steward Bots advancing towards the coffee shop, apparently after him. It was time to move.

He ran as fast as he could, just barely running into people or intercepting a moving hoverchair in its path. Blinded by the speed at which he ran, he had no idea of where he was going or where he would end up - or if he would even keep himself from getting caught.

I’m actually kind of surprised you didn’t do this sooner…Not that I had the idea before you, it just seems like something you’d write about. There are plenty of ‘reject’ bots to build stories upon, too! I’m looking forward to all the other back stories when you post 'em! :smiley:

Two new stories! Hope you enjoy them! :wink:


Van Haskell had been patient far too long. He watched in anxious agony as the nurse at his bedside slowly jotted some notes down on her clipboard; preparing for his release from the hospital. Everything in him was ready to hop out of bed and fly down the halls until he was free at last; where he could finally merge back into the mainstream of human life. For the past year he had been confined to a stuffy hospital room due to a sudden and severe onset of allergic reactions. How they were caused continued to be a mystery, although Van’s doctors had spent the last year trying to figure it out.

All Van knew for sure was that he had always suffered from allergies of all kinds and asthma problems ever since childhood. His nervous system had never been completely stable, and drugs he had been given as a small infant only exacerbated his susceptibility to allergies and infections. Every year since he could remember had been a constant battle; he had always been fighting in vain to relieve himself from the persistent symptoms. But no matter what medication he took - or what time of year it was - the runny nose, constant sneezing, watery eyes and congestion remained as much a part of him as his eyes and ears.

“The doc’s coming in soon to give you a final look-over, then you’ll be all set to go,” the nurse finally announced, putting her pen down. She smiled gently at Van, who was beaming for the first time in a long time. “You’ve been such an uncomplaining patient, Van. I don’t think you realize how helpful it is to us when we’re working so hard to take these awful allergy symptoms away from you. It’s been a challenge, I’ll admit; and we didn’t completely fix the problem… but I’m sure you’ll do just fine out on your own.”

Van was still smiling. “I’m just glad to be getting out of here.” The nurse laughed and turned to leave.

“Just give the doc a minute; he should be right out,” she finished, giving Van a quick wink before retreating back down the hall. Van was just about ready to explode with excitement.

I’m finally getting out! he wanted to shout aloud. After a whole year here, I’m going back home…!

“Hey there, how are you doing, son?” the doctor asked as he entered the room. Van could only smile. “Well, don’t you look bright today! Congestion easing a bit?”

“Well, not really,” Van admitted, his smile fading a bit. “I’m just happy that I’ll be leaving.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna be letting you go, but there are just a couple things to be aware of,” the doctor began, taking a seat besides Van’s bed. “I’ve been doing a lot of testing the past few months, and I notice that you seem to do a lot better when we reduce the levels of pure oxygen in the room. We think you may possess a level of oxygen intolerance, and this is the most likely cause of the reactions you’re having; on top of the allergies, of course. I find that your allergy symptoms are also accelerated in the pure oxygen-rich environment. This may have to do with the sterile-air environment of the entire ship, which - unfortunately - we can’t change. That being said, your cabin will also have this oxygen-rich air, and you’ll have to take some special meds for that.”

Van suppressed a groan. On top of the seven he was already taking, he had to take another one…?!

“The stability of your nervous system hasn’t seemed to improve,” the doctor continued. “We’ll be keeping you on those infection-fighting meds for another year, then we’ll come back and see how you’re doing with it.” He smiled and put a hand on Van’s shoulder. “Other than all that, you’re set to go. You’ve been one of the best patients I’ve ever taken care of; and you were the one that was going through one of the worst situations! So I just wanted to sincerely thank you for your incredible patience. You be careful out there, Mr. Haskell.”

That night as he settled down in his new cabin, Van gave some thought to the events of the past year. He had spent day after day in a hospital room, with hardly any exposure to the outside world; and day after day never brought a single visitor in from the outside to see him, specifically. He used to have some friends… all up until he had that asthma attack that landed him in the hospital. In fact, it had come on him when he was visiting with a friend he had made just a couple months prior. So why didn’t they ever come in and see him? Were they afraid he was contagious, like many already believed? Even some of the nurses got a bit nervous when they had to tend to him.

When would someone realize he wasn’t toxic or contaminated and simply show him they cared? To hell with the meds and the isolation - he needed a true friend that would never leave him. That was all he needed. That would be the best medication of all.


“I don’t understand you,” a young man named Parker blew up at his girlfriend Bella. “You’re all sugary sweet and gentle one minute, then you’re angry and aggressive the next. Bubbly and happy when we get together, then a basket-case by the time we have to go home. What are you, PMSing or something?!”

Bella slowly hung her head and sighed. “Parker, I can’t help being that way…”

“Well, I know for a fact that I can’t deal with someone like you,” Parker continued, loudly and angrily; throwing his hands in the air and stomping back and forth across the room as he spoke. “I’ve put up with it for far too long, and if you can’t change the way you act around me-”

Bella forcefully stood to her feet. “Well, if you can’t love me for who I am, then you’re not worth it! You think I can help being who I am? I tend to be a very emotionally unstable person, for reasons I don’t share because-”

Parker cut her off in midsentence. “Because you can’t trust me?” Bella’s eyes began to cloud over with tears.

“No, I can’t,” she blurted, after some tear-choked hesitation. “I shouldn’t have to change who I am just to love you. And you should just love me entirely for everything I am - the details don’t matter. You don’t need to know about my past, just like I don’t need to know about yours.”

Parker was quiet for a long time, his chest steadily heaving as he worked to calm himself. “Why don’t you trust me?”

Bella let the hushed words sink into her mind for a few silent moments. The tears began to slip down her face as she timidly held her eyes up to meet Parker’s narrowed ones. Her lip quivered as she pondered how she wanted to word what she had to say.

“You lied to me,” she simply replied. Parker gave a wry smirk accompanied by an indifferent scoff.

“Oh yeah?” he spat. “When have I done that to you?

Bella hesitated once more. She could feel her legs jittering, and she felt as if she were about to fall on her knees.

“I told you I wanted a simple relationship; not an intimate one,” she slowly whispered, carefully picking out her words as she spoke. “You told me when we got together that you would respect that. But you broke that promise, and you broke the trust I always had in you.” Parker threw a hand in the air.

“See, there you go again,” he growled. “Just a minute ago you were over there screaming at the top of your lungs, now you’re blubbering like a little girl and talking all quiet-like. Are you pregnant or something?”

“Of course not, jerk,” she shot back. She held another pause after Parker didn’t say any more. She stepped away from him and wiped her eyes, mustering up all the courage she could to speak the words she needed to. “I want to break up.”

Parker immediately laughed in her face, as if her desire to be free from him was nothing more than a joke. He pointed at her, shaking his head and still wearing that mocking grin.

“You think it’s just that easy to walk away, huh?” he taunted.

Bella clenched her fists and could only stare Parker down. Her feelings of anxiety were now being replaced with intense anger.

“Unfortunately for you, I’m going to make it ‘that easy’,” she smartly remarked, turning briskly on her heel to head out the door. Parker stopped laughing and ran to block her from leaving, but she fought back just as hard. “Let me go!”

“I’m not letting you just walk out on me like this,” Parker grunted, trying to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground.

“Who was the one saying you couldn’t deal with someone like me?” Bella retorted, giving him a jab in the stomach with her elbow. Parker caught his breath and worked quickly to compose himself. “You call me an enigma when you contradict yourself! Maybe we’re just perfect for each other!”

The two continued to fight at the door until they heard the door chime ring from a speaker in the cabin. At the same time, the two pulled away from each other, and Parker opened the door to find a Steward Bot.

“For the sake and safety of the other passengers, please keep argumentative action to a minimum,” it declared, obviously playing back a pre-recorded message. “Peaceful disagreements are encouraged, and continued misconduct will require further and more extensive action. For the sake and safety of the other passengers, please keep argumentative-”

Before Parker closed the door on the Steward Bot, who was programmed to play the message on a loop until the problem appeared to be solved, he shoved Bella out onto the walkway and shut the door without even a “goodbye.” Bella hopelessly stood next to the Steward, who was still talking.

“…Continued misconduct will require further and more extensive action. For the sake and safety-”

“Look, we worked it out,” she snapped at the robot. “As you can see we’re not going to be arguing anymore.”

I kind of dropped writing for a while this month; due to the fact that several hundred things have been going on in my life. So when I came back to my blank WordPad, my head went blank. I felt as if I couldn’t muster up a single word to write.

So for this particular story, I decided to do my research. And it made a huge difference, I think; I wanted it to be really accurate. Once I pulled the lists of medical terminology and procedures away from me and pressed my fingers to the keyboard to begin writing the next mini-story, I flew with it. Unfortunately, it seems as though these “mini-stories” keep getting longer and longer. :blush: Well, enough with the intro already - hope you enjoy the next story. :slight_smile:

Quick Thinking

“You’re doing a lot better, Ms. Kerry,” a young nurse named Debbie sweetly informed her patient. “We’ve got the internal bleeding under control, and you’ve become much more stable. Give it a couple more weeks, and you just might be out of here.”

The young woman smiled brightly at her nurse. “You know, out of all seven nurses I’ve had, you’ve been the nicest of all of them. You just seem to care so much and you work so hard to make sure I’m feeling okay.” Debbie blushed as she changed out Ms. Kerry’s pillows.

“I’m just doing my job,” she modestly replied. “And besides, I love doing it.”

“They say that nurses have the toughest jobs in the world,” Ms. Kerry noted, “and yet you handle the stress so well.”

Debbie rolled her eyes. “Now that’s an overstatement,” she chuckled. “I can get pretty panicky sometimes; especially in this ward. Not the prettiest place in the world to work sometimes, I can say that truthfully. Most of the time it’s a game of wondering what unexpected thing will happen next.”

As Debbie and Ms. Kerry continued with their carefree conversation, another nurse slipped into the room and gently took Debbie’s shoulder to get her attention. Worry lines creased her forehead, and her eyes appeared to be slowly filling with tears.

“Deb,” she whispered, “we’re needing some extra hands in the ER; a patient called in twenty minutes ago complaining of chest pain, and as soon as he came in he began to show signs of arrhythmia. Needless to say it’s not looking very good for the docs, and they’re crazed as hell over what to do next.”

Debbie turned to Ms. Kerry. “I’ll get another nurse in here to finish up your report, all right? Sorry to be so abrupt…”

“It’s perfectly fine,” Ms. Kerry replied with a smile. “I’ll be all right.”

Debbie didn’t waste a second in getting over to the ER, where she found five doctors and several nurses all talking at once and arguing over ways to treat the unfortunate man’s condition.

“Okay, what’s going on?!” Debbie cried, breaking the whirl of confusion with her loud, clear voice.

“He was fine a minute ago,” a doctor noted, scratching his head. “Now all of a sudden his heartbeat is irregular.”

“So find a solution!” Debbie screamed at him, unnerrved that a doctor, of all people, would be so slow to respond to a problem of this proportion and so thick as to not know clearly what was going on. “Unless you and your genius team have already come up with something; which, by the looks of it, you haven’t!”

“His record shows that he’s suffered from coronary heart disease for the past twenty years,” a young doctor noted, going over some notes in his hand. “The arrhythmia may be caused by insufficient blood flow to the brain…”

“Oh, really?” Debbie snapped at him. “Why, I would have never guessed that!” She lifted her head and spoke to the entire company of distressed doctors. “Has anyone attempted basic CPR techniques?!”

The room fell eerily silent, and all that was heard was the frightening sound of the heart rate monitor’s irregular blips.

“No, ma’me,” one of the doctor’s assistants answered. “We only just brought him in.”

Debbie was ready to burst out of composure and cuss at everyone in the room. Ever since robots have taken the basic responsibilities of humans away from them, all we’re left with is dumb doctors who think robots know how to save a man with arrhythmia!

“Okay, out of my way,” she demanded, pushing through the throng of nurses blocking a guarded utility emergency closet. “Start administering CPR on him.”

One of the doctors did as Debbie asked, but as he worked, the man’s condition only seemed worse.

“Shuster, the heart rate is unchanged,” he reported, and as he spoke Debbie pulled a portable defibrillator out of the emergency closet. The nurses instinctively pulled back as Debbie made her way toward the patient.

“You’re not actually going to use that, are you…?” one of them nervously asked. Debbie sighed loudly as she pressed a button to charge the machine.

“If CPR doesn’t work, then this is the next practical thing to do!” she cried, gripping the paddles in her hands.

“You’re not even licensed to do this, Shuster,” the same doctor who had administered CPR retorted.

“Actually, my training in EMS work covered all this… but that was before we boarded this Godforsaken ship, so you wouldn’t know what I was talking about,” she smartly remarked, shaking her head as she rubbed a special gel over the man’s bare chest.

An assistant leaned over to a nurse to whisper in her ear. “It’s like watching an episode of House or something. The suspense is killing me.”

She furrowed her brow and turned slightly to look at him. “What are you talking about? You’ve never even watched House.” The assistant scoffed at her.

“Well, that’s a lie, idiot,” he retorted, rolling his eyes.

Debbie was in no mood for jokes. She pressed the paddles firmly against the man’s bare chest and grit her teeth. “Clear!”

One good jolt of electricity seemed to do it, for in the seconds following the defibrillation, the man’s heartbeat slowed to a steadier rhythm. Debbie pulled the paddles away from the man as his chest began to rise and fall in an even motion.

With a long sigh of relief, she put the equipment aside, wiped the beading sweat from her brow, and collapsed into a chair beside the patient’s bed; all at the same time the doctors and nurses filling the room burst into applause. Thanks to Debbie Shuster’s acute response to the situation, the poor arrhythmia victim probably had a better chance of surviving the cardiac arrest.

Debbie, though, was unsure that she would continue to survive in this panicky, hectic environment much longer.

A couple random medical facts on defibrillation

Thought I’d supply you with some of the truth I learned about this procedure; since I wanted the story to be as accurate as possible, I didn’t want to rely on what I knew from media references.

  • A lot of television shows or movies have a doctor defibrillate asystole - the “flat-line” ECG rhythm. Contrary to popular belief, this is not done in real life. Once the heart has stopped beating, it is no longer able to be depolarized, which is what the purpose of a defibrillator is.

  • Usually the only cardiac arrest rhythms that are defibrillated are ventricular fibrillation and pulseless ventricular tachycardia.

  • An arrhythmia is any change from the normal sequence of electrical impulses that tell the heart how fast and how steady to beat. Defibrillation depolarizes a critical mass of the heart muscle, terminates the arrhythmia, and allows the body to re-establish normal sinus rhythm by the body’s natural pacemaker.

I keep writing these stories, throwing my whole heart into them, bonding with the characters in ways I never actually thought I would, doing hours and hours of research to make sure a short little story is accurate… and all the while, this collection of stories sits idle with absolutely no replies since Cureless. I’m not begging anyone to read them on other threads - shoving it in their face every second I get the chance - I’m not even advertizing it with a siggy or a link. I’m not walking around declaring “Read my fanfic!! :smiley:” or hinting at it through my posts. The least someone who has simply read through these can do is post a simple reply. That’s all I’m asking. All I want to know is if this stuff is worth posting, 'cuz it’s not worth wasting my time writing them if no one is gonna read them when I could be spending that writing time on something else.

I know this may sound a bit harsh, but I really need to tell you guys how I’m feeling. I don’t want you to feel guilty or anything, and I’m not putting anyone in particular down. I simply needed to vent there, 'cuz really, it’s frustrating. All you fanfiction writers whose work gets a max of two replies, I totally feel you. The appreciation for fanfiction simply does not seem to be “there” anymore.

Nevertheless, I’m not going to let a bare thread get me down. I will continue to post my collection of stories based on “The Splats”; starting with the few I put together just a couple days ago. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did! :wink:

(By the way, if anyone needs clarification of who the characters are and who they are representing, just drop me a note. I’d be more than happy to explain. :slight_smile:)


They had left her in charge of cleaning and tidying up the place for the past few months; every so often assigning her the job of rearranging. But the manager of the small BnL Fashion Outlet was quickly becoming frustrated with her flighty employee, who could never focus on one task at a time. Efficency was key - this was a fact that had been relayed to her thousands of times. Efficency in responsibility, timliness, experience… nope; “distraction” didn’t seem to appear in the criteria for a desirable employee.

Macie, the store owner, marched out from behind the front counter and quickly made her way to where her troublesome employee was supposed to be folding clothes. A pile of unfolded items lay in a pile on the floor at her feet, and she was busy humming a tone-deaf tune as she stood in front of a mirror holding up clothes. Macie folded her arms, stepped behind her, and cleared her throat to grab her attention.

“Lina,” she slowly said, the name coming out through her clenched teeth. The young blonde didn’t even seem to notice her there. “Lina! I’m talking to you!”

“Hmm?” Lina finally responded, whirling around to face her manager. She was still holding a pink dress against her body and grinning as if she believed she were about to get a raise.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Macie asked her after a good pause. Lina was quiet, still staring up into Macie’s squinted eyes. She looked down after several moments to see the pile of unfolded clothes, then slowly pulled the dress away from her body. Her once-elated expression now betrayed the feeling of shame that was slowly growing in her heart.

“Umm… well… I just, I just wanted to see what some of these clothes would look like on me,” she openly replied. “I didn’t think that was a bad thing… I mean, this is a clothing store, isn’t it?” She waved a hand at the dress she still clutched. “Like, where you’re able to try on clothes and stuff. But… but… I wasn’t actually trying them on… I was just holding them up to see what they would look like on me! Don’t you love doing that? I do! I abso-lutely love it…!”

Macie wasn’t the slightest bit impressed. She yanked the dress out of Lina’s hands and sighed loudly. “But you’re not doing your job. We’ve had this conversation before, Lina.”

“We have?” the girl seriously wondered, cocking her head. Macie threw her face into the palm of her hands and growled, then clenched her fists at her side and tried to keep herself as composed as possible.

“Listen, Lina… just listen for a minute,” she pleaded. Lina straightened in attention and grinned all over again. “Honestly, I hired you because you’re such a bright girl, and you’re capable of probably more than you know. I really, really don’t want to fire you, but you just get so-”

Suddenly Lina’s head jerked towards the door. “Hey, customers!” she abruptly cried.

“…So distracted!” Macie finished, this time not keeping the anger inside. “You make things so much more difficult around here, and I can never keep up with you or get you to finish even one simple task!!! Efficiency, Lina…! It’s all about efficiency! We’ve been over this!!!

The customers who had come in uneasily stopped their browsing and paused to watch the manager blow up at her poor employee.

“I thought you said I was a capable person, and… and that I was bright and stuff,” Lina sadly interjected, wringing her hands.

“Well, you know what? You may be all those things and then some, but you’re too flighty to work here,” Macie snapped at her. Lina backed up a bit, hanging her head ever so slightly. The words hung in the air for several moments, creating an awkward and uneasy silence. Without warning, Macie’s eyes grew wide and she pointed excitedly towards the door. “Look, Lina! I saw something shiny out there!”

Lina was instantly captivated, and she whirled around to face the door. “Wha- shiny?! Where?!”

“Ohh, man - it just disappeared somewhere into the traffic,” Macie groaned, playing disappointed.

Waaaait!!!” Lina screeched, bolting out the door to chase the imaginary “shiny thing.” “Come back heeeere!

Macie chuckled to herself, walking back to the counter with a smug grin on her face. “Well, that’s one way to get rid of an ADD employee,” she muttered under her breath just as her customers came to pay for some clothes. She immediately threw on a sweet smile as they approached. “Hi, there! Can I help you with something today?”

Txt Me, Call Me

“Look, I’m gonna have to let you go; I’ve got a date at the food court in a couple minutes,” a young woman named Perdi breathlessly told one of her friends as she rushed to board a People Mover with a vacant seat. She pressed the cell phone to her chest as she ran towards it. “Hey, hey! Wait for me! Don’t leave without me!”

A young man moved over for her as she jumped on and shoved everyone out of her way, and he even made room for her to sit down comfortably.

“Anyways, sorry about that,” Perdi continued to her friend on the phone; not even saying “thank-you” to the young man at her side. “I didn’t want to miss a ride. Yeah, so I’ll call you back like tomorrow or something and we can make plans to get together some time… yeah, I’m free on Saturday… maybe we can go for a swim or something… seriously, I’m not gonna let a body this cute degenerate into some blob of fat…!”

The young man rolled his eyes and folded his arms. “You’re welcome.”

“…Okay, I’m almost there, talk to ya later!” Perdi ended the call and hopped off of the People Mover as soon as it stopped. As she dashed towards the food court, her phone vibrated in her purse. “Ugh, can’t it wait…?!

“Hey, what took you so long?!” a young woman yelled at her from the food court. “I’ve been waiting for like, twenty minutes and I neeed my caffeine fix!”

As soon as Perdi sat down at the table next to her friend, she pulled her phone out of her purse. “Hold on, I just got a text,” she panted. She began typing out a reply text to her friend without even thinking that her company was still waiting patiently to go get their coffee.

“Perdi,” the young woman snapped, “I’m waaaaiting!

“Yeah, hold on,” Perdi retorted, finally snapping her phone shut. “M’kay, let’s get something to drink.”

As they were waiting in line, Perdi happened to spot another one of her friends across the way in another line, and she called their name loudly to grab their attention.

“Heyy, Perdi!” a girl named Sherry called back. “How’ve you been?”

“Oh, same-same,” she replied. “Except the fact that I got fired from the salon.” Sherry’s mouth dropped open.

“No… way,” she gawked. “How come?!”

Perdi rolled her eyes and scoffed. “Miss Perfect Manager thought my beautician skills weren’t ‘up to par’,” she explained. “She said I did hair exceptionally, but I was a royal failure when it came to doing makeup! Hey, well, the customers totally thought they looked beautiful… if it makes the customer happy, it shouldn’t matter, right?”

“Right!” Sherry emphatically agreed. “That is like, way unfair.”

“I know, right?!” Perdi continued, diving right into the new conversation. “Oh my god… I mean, I got the third degree and everything… she begged to know where I had trained and what my background was in cosmetology and all this stuff - even though I never was trained, I just kind of fibbed and said I went to some unheard-of school back on Earth - and she fired me just because I couldn’t provide any ‘stable evidence’ that I was further fit for the job!”

Sherry scoffed at the words. “Ugh… that is bull.”

Perdi’s company, Terri, tapped her on the shoulder to break the conversation. “Hey, the order bot’s asking you what you want.” Perdi paused from speaking and turned to look up at the order bot.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she flatly apologized. “I’d like a-”

No sooner could she place her order, her little pink cell phone loudly played back her ringtone. She gave an apologetic glance in turn to Terri and the order bot, then pulled out he phone and rapidly answered it after four rings had gone by.

“Hello?” she sputtered. “Oh, hey there, Jade! I knooow, it’s been a while! What’s goin’ on?”

Terri rolled her eyes and turned to take her latte from the order bot. “Thanks a lot,” she sweetly said, taking Perdi by the arm. “Perdi, we’re going back to the food court. Get off the freakin’ phone!”

But Perdi was too engrossed in her new conversation to even notice Terri, so she finally gave up the date after shoving Perdi into a seat, and taking up her latte, she moved herself to another table and left Perdi alone with her phone call.

“Sure, I’ll come over!” Perdi continued, playing with the keychain on her purse. “Yeah, we can like have coffee and stuff. I am so caffeine deprived, it’s not even a joke. So, yeah… what’s your cabin number again…? 2744; got it. Yeah; shouldn’t take me more than twenty minutes. Yeah, see ya! Bye.”

Perdi didn’t even say “goodbye” to Terri as she fled the food court to catch another People Mover on its way to drop some passengers off to their cabins. Perdi decided to ask for directions, since she had never been down that branch of the ship before; and she turned to a lady sitting beside her and grabbed her attention.

“Hey, do you know how to get to Cabin 2748?” she politely asked as they got off the People Mover.

“Oh yeah,” the lady replied. “Go down to the end of this hallway, make a left, then walk all the way down that hallway. There should be a door on the very end of the hallway.” Perdi smiled.

“Thank you!” she called as she took off, not wanting to be late again.

I have two more written, but I’ll wait a little bit to see what happens before I post them. The one that I wrote after this one is basically a continuation of what I ended Txt Me, Call Me with. :wink:

little chef

Never fear, TDIT’s here! :smiley: snags cape in jumbo jet propellers and gets sucked into turbine

Well, I’ve read up to “Persistent”. You’re a great writer, I love your description of each reject bot, their life history, and how their actions within the vignette gives us an idea of their personality.

Here’s my review for each story:

I love your descriptions of how Vin is in ‘the zone’, and how he lets his creative juices just flow onto the page. Sentences like “He left the loneliness of blue behind and dove into a joyful realm of yellows and greens” are beautiful and just poetic, I like that! The little flashback to his departed dad is both touching and affecting. He also describes how artists are inspired, and how they’re motivated to keep creating masterpieces, something I think that can be relevant to all fanfic or fanart creators here. This is by far my favourite piece, because I can relate to it. :slight_smile:

This is a pretty sad one. Hans is so misunderstood, I feel sorry for him. The man in the hoverchair is so mean. But anyway, great description, wonderful back story. I like how he seems to be the exception to the order in the Axiom, and how you left the story on a cliffhanger, as he charges into oblivion after getting ‘hopped up’ on caffeine. Poor guy. :frowning:

VAQ-M’s one of the more adorable reject bots, so I’m glad you made the reader empathize with his allergic condition in this humanised tale. Allergic to oxygen… oh my. I don’t know how realistic that is, but I guess you have creative licence, and I actually like the concept to be honest. I did a quick Google search and discovered there have been actually cases of allergy to water and sunlight, but I could not find any on Oxygen. But again, that was very imaginative, poor VAQ-M’s got eight meds! And all he wanted was a friend… I love the last line: “He needed a true friend that would never leave him… that would be the best medication of all.” Brilliant.

I can’t really say this reflects BRL-A’s personality, since we don’t see much of him/her in the movie, but I guess you did a pretty good interpretation of your own. So I can discern that she’s prone to mood swings and suffers from bipolar disorder? Or maybe she’s just cranky? I don’t know. All I can say is, her partner’s a jerk (I thought he was okay right up till the point he blocked her exit), and that it’s good she’s leaving him. Though, I wondered what he did to betray her trust. I guess you left that to the audience to think about. I like the ending with her annoyed reply at the Steward Bot.

Well, that’s as far as I got for now. Only criticism I would give is that all your fics are pretty heartbreaking, and I’d like to see a fun and happy one for a change.

With regards to your work not getting enough reviews, I know you want to maintain some sense of artistic integrity by not promoting them in your sig, but face it, unless you advertise your work in some way, not many people are going to know about it.

Here’s my advice, take the time to design a promo sig (or ask any of the graphics and icons creators around here)and post it for a week or two and wait for any reaction. If you’re shy, just come up with a short and witty tagline that you can place as a text-sig below your normal graphic signature, with a link to this thread. Review other fanfic writer’s work that are related to Wall-E, and subtly and politely invite them to read yours. I really hope more people can read these fics, cos’ I think you got something going here, something that no other fanfic writer has done to my knowledge. You’re good at this stuff, keep going, and if you have a Fanfiction account, let me know and post your work there. :wink:

TDIT: Man, I had an entire reply written out for you concerning just about everything you made mention of in your post, but as I clicked something else on my browser, the whole thing jammed up on me. (Darn my mom’s crappy laptop…! :angry:) So yeah, the entire post got erased… however, I took your advice on making a “promo-sig”… I hope it helps. :wink: Thank you, though, for the encouragement. I really, really needed that. Like, more than you know. Honestly, my eyes clouded over with tears and my cheeks burned as I read your comments. I’m dead serious. <3 [insert happy tears smiley]

I’ll post up the next two stories I’ve written; the first one should clarify the fact that they’re all gonna meet up, somehow or another. :smiley: Sorry if it’s a bit long… I can’t help it…! Like Vin says, “When the inspiration hits, I go with the flow…”

Unexpected Visitor

Perdi followed the directions she had been given and found a door against the back wall of the second hallway; but as she was walking toward it, she happened to go by Cabin 2744.

Waaait, she thought, stopping in her tracks. She glanced over at the end of the hallway, then back at the door in front of her. Did Jade say 2744 or 2748?

Before she could reach into her purse and call her friend, a strange smell caught her nose; something she was sure she had never smelled before. It wasn’t putrid, but it wasn’t sweet either. The only word Perdi could think of to describe it was strong. It seemed to permeate from the door at the end of the hall, and curious about what it was, Perdi approached the door.

Maybe Jade left the coffee pot on in her cabin, she reasoned. She pressed a button beside the door to open it, but when she took a peek inside, she realized the room was larger than she had expected. That’s weird. My cabin isn’t half as big as this one…! Jade’s one lucky chick…

“Hey, anyone home?” she called, gingerly stepping into the room. When she walked in, the first thing she noticed was paint all over the wall. She placed her hands on her hips and sighed. “So that was paint fumes I was smelling? You could have at least warned me that you were painting the place…!”

“Who are you talking to?” an unexpected male voice asked from the far corner of the room. Surprised, Perdi whipped around to see a young man kneeling on the floor beside the wall, surrounded by paint brushes and paints, and kneeling on a sheet speckled with paint of all colors. She felt her face flushing red with embarrassment.

“Oh,” she exclaimed, stepping back a bit. “I… I guess I have the wrong cabin number.” Before she could bolt out the door, she paused to take in the paint on the walls. It wasn’t regular wall paint; she knew that just by looking. And it wasn’t one even coat of one or two colors, either. It was a myriad of thousands of colors; all intertwined somehow; creating a captivating and almost hypnotizing story simply through color. Perdi was of no eye for art, but just by simply looking at this masterpiece, she couldn’t deny that the young man at work was telling the story of his life through his painting.

“Hey, I air it out like, every two weeks or so,” the young man said, interrupting Perdi’s thoughts. “Sorry if it’s bothering you. I can’t apologize for painting, though. I’ve always got something in my mind that has to be painted. I’m kind of running out of room here, though. Took me just about five years to do these three walls.”

Perdi was in complete awe. She turned to look at the young painter, a small smile on her face. “You did all this…?”

“Yeah,” he simply replied. “It’s my life story.”

She couldn’t help but put her purse down and take a seat beside the young man, watching him intently as he went right back to his painting.

“Don’t you have anyone to talk to and stuff while you paint?” she wondered. “I mean, it must get kinda boring without anyone around.”

He shook his head. “I listen to music.”

Perdi paused. “Oh.”

“Stuff without words, though,” he continued. “Words distract from the genuity of your thoughts and feelings. They tend to make you feel whatever the song wants you to feel instead of what you’re truly thinking about.” He paused for a moment and glanced over at Perdi before washing his brush in water. “You ever notice that you aren’t usually thinking romantically before you listen to a love song?”

“Yeah,” Perdi replied, becoming even more fascinated as she listened to the young artist speak.

“The words of a song move you to think stuff you probably wouldn’t have otherwise thought until listening to them,” he explained. “That’s why I prefer piano or guitar music. It provokes organic emotion because there are no forced thoughts.”

Perdi was quiet for a long time, taking in everything.

“Mind if I ask who you are and how you ended up here?” he asked after Perdi didn’t say anything for a while.

“Oh, I’m Perdita Collins,” she hastily answered. “I prefer Perdi, though. I didn’t mean to barge in… I thought this was my friend’s cabin.”

The young painter gave a warm smile and held out his hand. “Nice to meet you, Perdi - I’m Vin.”

Perdi was hesitant to shake his hand, which was covered in paint; but to be polite she did anyway.

“Nice to meet you too, Vin,” she replied, trying as discreetly as possible to wipe the paint off on the sheet Vin was sitting on. “Always good to make new friends… even though I have lots of them already. Darn my stupid cell phone, it goes off like, every five seconds!” She giggled to herself and pulled it out of her purse to check it. She carried on even though she was in the middle of checking thirty new text messages. “And I’m always going here and doing this with so-and-so, and shopping ‘till I spend like, every last dollar I have, and getting coffee with Melissa or Terri or Bailey - sometimes Isabel; she’s kinda annoying. Always wanting me to shop for some kind of outfit with her; as if she can’t go to the mall by herself, you know?” She paused to take a breath and noticed that Vin had been intently staring at her the entire time. “Uhh… what are you doing?”

Vin was quiet for a minute. “I’m just thinking.”

Perdi glanced uneasily around the room, then gave a slightly nervous chuckle. “What… what are you thinking about…?”

Finally, after a bit more silence, Vin washed the dark blue paint off of his brush, dipped it into a daub of bright pink, then turned to face the wall again and gave it a good splat of pink paint.

“Oh, that’s… creative,” Perdi slowly noted, not very enthusiastically. Honestly, she didn’t get what Vin meant by the move.

Before she could ask, he dipped it in the pink paint again and this time aimed another splat at Perdi.

“Wha-?!” she cried, hopping to her feet. “VINNN!!! You got paint all over my new shirt!!!”

Vin simply looked on, calm as could be. “You’re pink.”

“Of course I’m pink,” she spat, “look at me now! Ugh, how is this ever going to come out…?!”

“I meant you are pink,” he retorted, shaking his head. “Pink is your color.”

Perdi rolled her eyes. “So you randomly assign me a color and splat me with it without getting my permission or telling me you were gonna do it first?!” Vin held up his palms.

“Hey, I apologize,” he sputtered. “When the inspiration hits, I go with the flow.”

“So why am I pink?” she growled, yanking a random towel off of the floor.

“I dunno - pink is a playful, kind of charming color,” Vin answered. “I just seem to sense that in your personality.” He dipped his brush in black paint and carefully wrote out Perdi’s name on the wall beside the pink splat. “You’re the first friend I’ve actually made since boarding the ship, so I think it’s important to mark down exactly when you entered my life.”



The sirens grew louder and louder, and Hans knew he was in for it. The Stewards would catch up to him and he’d probably be thrown into some kind of juvenile containment center where his chances of ever getting out would be slim. It wasn’t his fault he had run into some random fat guy in a hoverchair! If anything, the man had run into him!

Not tired, not tired, not tired, the words reeled in his mind as he ran. I’m not tired. Why aren’t I tired? Caffeine. Caffeine! Caffeine rush! CAFFEINE… RUSH…! I’M NOT TIRED…! NOT TIRED…!

He didn’t even see it happen. The next thing he knew, he was rolling across the floor and heard the breath being knocked out of someone underneath him - or, on top of him. A sharp pain shot through his head as it smacked the floor, and milliseconds later he felt someone’s elbow in his stomach. When all came to a stop, he found himself on top of a teen no older than he was, and she had a huge bruise on her knee as well as her cheek. The two sat up and could only stare at each other, panting and holding their aching heads.

“You were running too fast!” she exclaimed, trying to keep herself from crying. She pulled up her leg to examine the dark bruise on her knee. “Oww, that really hurts…”

“You okay?” Hans breathlessly wondered, shooting to his knees as if nothing had ever happened to him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, I’m fine,” the girl managed, wiping the tears from her eyes. She looked into Hans’s sparkling, bulging eyes and couldn’t help but let out a giggle. “You’re funny - you’ve got these big, crazy eyes.”

“Really?” he wondered, smiling along with her. “Your eyes look like mine.”

“Cool!” she exclaimed. “Maybe that means we’re supposed to be friends! I’m Lina.”

Hans grinned. Someone wanted to be his friend…? Normally they were spending all their time trying to stay away from him. He instantly liked Lina, and he helped her to her feet.

“I’m Hans,” he replied. “I’m sixteen, how old are you?”

“Seventeen,” Lina answered. “We’re just a year apart! That’s like, totally awesome! Do you like shiny things?”

Hans’s eyes widened. “Shiny…?! Where?!”

Lina laughed. “I guess so! I like shiny things, too. Someone told me there was something shiny out here, and I haven’t been able to find it. I just can’t find it, and it’s making me really mad!” She smiled at Hans and clenched her fists. “Wanna come help me look for it?”

Hans immediately brightened. “Sure! I’ll help you!”

“Let’s go,” Lina giggled, taking Hans’s hand into hers. They took off running like siblings on a treasure hunt; unaware all the while that the Steward Bots were slowly gaining on them.

"O-kay, little chef, what’s with the corny dialogue in Collide…? How old did you say Hans and Lina were…?"

Thanks for asking! :smiley: Hans and Lina are so simplistic in their thinking, it’s almost unnatural to read about. They take absolutely everything that happens to them for granted, and they’re rather quick to trust people they don’t know. I wanted the most non-tainted personalities for these two; as if they have had absolutely no exposure to the real world and the actual trouble it can bring. So if you’re a little confuzzled by their personalities, it’s because they’re so pure. :slight_smile: Not very used to that nowadays, are we…?

Man, Perdi is just too much fun to write about…! :laughing: She’s really easy to do the dialogue for; all I have to do is think of how people talk all the time. Simple stuff. If I can hear it in my head, it makes it onto paper.

little chef

Sorry i haven;t been able to read this one more dutifully…i have been writing some major book series i have always wanted to write.

I really like the last two chapters. They seem to excellently portray the average teen today and what it would be like on the Axiom. I also love the last chapter where Vin meets Perdi. They seem to get along well together.


I’ve been wanting to review this short story collection ever since I’ve joined… now I’m finally setting myself to do so! fireworks and applause

Here’s my individual review of each story:


Ok, so, here we meet Vincent, or Vin, as he is nicknamed. I greatly admire your description of colors (gray, blue, green, yellow) and how it related to his moods. The flashback of his father was also very interesting, in how they talk about famous painters and artists, especially the allusion to Vincent Van Gogh. The part where Vin’s eyes grow wide about the ear mutilation was a funny little addition to the story, but at the same time helping him understand how art expresses emotion. One thing I also noticed is how the colors crescendo from sad to happy, from Vin’s sad blue tones to joyful light greens and yellows as he remembers the moment with his father. Lovely and touching story. <3


Ah, Hans. This story really does make me feel sorry for him, being that he is so hyper and nothing seems to be able to cure him. The comparison of the Rehab Clinic to the Repair Ward also helps to reinforce the severity of his condition. The way the passengers reacted to his hyperactivity when he bumped into them even intensifies the empathy for this character; I could just picture this all playing out, and Hans running away. The coffee scene does serve as a bit of a break for him, but also adds tension with the people looking at him funny, and then the Stewards seeming to advance on him. However, the most impacting scene is the end, where Hans ends up running as fast as he could, this time not bumping into anyone, and just the way it closes feels like a “To Be Continued…” title card has popped up, making you wonder, “What will happen next?” Excellent job.


Another one that makes the reader feel sorry for the character and the situation he’s in. Van’s sure got a lot on his plate, with all the allergies asthma, and symptoms of those conditions. The nurse and the doctor were both very kind to him, and I have really come to appreciate Van’s character, being that he accepts his circumstances, even though he may not like it. And an allergy to pure oxygen… I do wonder what is the probability, or even the possibility, of sure a condition in real life. :open_mouth: Poor Van, stuck in a ship where they can’t change the atmospheric conditions. :frowning:. I also love how you ended the story with the fact that the best medicine for him would be friendship and love. Very sweet ending!


Finally, the ladies burst on the scene, starting with Bella. Her emotions and reactions feel so real, and I just can’t help but feel for her, and at the same time, be angry at Parker because he treats her so badly, instead of trying to be patient and actually take the time to understand her. The title fits the situation really well; Bella’s mood swings are quite an enigma, and so is her past. In fact, the only way to describe her is that her personality seems to be open-shut, open-shut… just like an umbrella. And the ending… I’m glad that she left Parker; he was totally mean and earns himself the title “jerk”, not to mention that he disrespected the boundary of the relationship Bella wanted. Bad Parker!

Quick Thinking

The medical drama episode of this series, starring Nurse Debbie Shuster! The beginning is pretty neat, with Debbie talking with Ms. Kerry, and treating her with much sweetness, and the transition to the emergency is smooth, yet dramatic at the same time, since the tension starts to build in the ER, with the doctor and nurses debating about what to do with the sick man that has arrhythmia. I gotta say, Debbie is pretty smart; her character truly shined when she pulled out the defibrillator and charged it, and the medics comparing the moment to House (seriously, great TV reference right there), leading to the climactic “Clear!”. Overall, one of the best and most suspenseful short stories I’ve read. And I’m glad you did some research and gave your readers facts about defibrillation in real life; it really does help to understand what’s going on in the story. Bravo!


This one was pretty interesting. Here we’re introduced to Lina, who is apparently distracted easily, and Macie is pretty much fed up with her. In fact, she becomes a spectacle for the customers when they see her blow up at Lina for her inefficiency, and the poor girl is basically the receiving end of that tantrum. Also, the story made me feel sorry for Lina because she is trying so hard; she is very bright, but of course, she’s flighty (the part where she’s imaging how the dress would look on her is pretty cute, and actually helps the reader connect with the character). And at the same time, it makes med mad at Macie because she so badly want to get rid of Lina, that she takes advantage of her flightiness and sends her running out the doors of the store, never to return, and she doesn’t even feel guilty about it! Hopefully Lina doesn’t get her bright little heart broken…

Txt Me, Call Me

And finally, we are introduced to Perdi… Boy, does she do a whole lotta talking! The beginning was pretty humorous, with her getting on the People Mover and shoving everyone to get her space, and the guy saying “You’re welcome,” all grumpy as she talks on the phone. I can also see that she’s got quite a few friends, and maybe cares about her appearance a little more that all the other characters with her “I’m not gonna let a body this cute degenerate into some blob of fat!” remark. I noticed that Sherry seems to sympathize with Perdi after hearing that she got fired from the salon because of her less-than-perfect beautician skills (the made-up beauty school part was just comedy gold to the max), but Terri is pretty mean and gets annoyed too easily; she’s not that good of a friend to Perdi. I’m glad that it ends with her leaving to go to the cabins… a nice “to be continued”-style lead in to the next story.

Unexpected Visitor

Now we see some meeting’s going on between that characters! This story was pretty neat, and very original. The interaction between Perdi and Vin is sort of playful, and I just love how he (Vin) gave an explanation for his taste in instrumental music; I’ve never thought of lyrics that way before. The part where he splats paint on Perdi is amusing and sweet as he tells her that pink is her color, and the name-signing at the end is sweet. Lovely story! (seriously, before I discovered this short, I thought I was the only one to ship the rejects they’re based on… :unamused: )


Last but not least, Hans meets Lina. Very interesting, the way you had them run into each other (literally) :laughing: , but then I kinda felt sorry because Lina got hurt. And no, I do not think the dialogue is corny at all; like you said, they are very pure and unaffected by the real world, so they’re going to communicate in a way that reflects that aspect of their personas. The ending was pretty amusing too, as they decide to go off and chase the imaginary shiny thing, unaware of the Stewards gaining on them. I could actually just imagine them running off into the hallways, with happy chase music playing, and a big “The End?” title card appearing in the center of a TV screen.

Overall, these are very amazing shorts. I honestly enjoyed every single one of them, especially Perdi and Debbie’s stories, and the one where Perdi and Vin finally meet. I really do wish to see them all meet together; and see if they all become friends.

Again, awesome job with these! Bravo! :smiley: