“I’m Captain Jack Sparrow. The original. The only!”
Jack Sparrow, On Stranger Tides.
Jack Sparrow: You may kill me, but you can never insult me. Who am I?
[Beckett falters, confused]
Jack Sparrow: [put out] I’m Captain Jack Sparrow!
- Pirates of the Carribean: At World’s End
Blackbeard: Gentlemen…I be placed in a bewilderment. There I were, resting. And upon a sudden, I hear an ungodly row on deck. Sailors abandoned their posts, without orders, without leave. Men before the mast, and taking the ship for themselves. What be that, First Mate?
Angelica: Mutiny, captain.
Blackbeard: Again?
Angelica: Mutiny!
Blackbeard: Aye. Mutiny. And what fate befalls mutineers? Now we know the answer to that, do we not? Mutineers…Hang!
On Stranger Tides.
“What is there to see in California? Well there is Pearl Harbor. And Texas.”
-Borat, Borat
Seto Kaiba: Now it’s the time for the ultimate cartoon showdown between Japanese animation versus American animation!
Bandit Keith: Hey, you can’t use that word! It belongs to America! Only Americans are allowed to…
Seto Keiba: Shut the (bleep) up!"
(Beat)
Bandit Keith: (mutters under breath) In America.
- Yu-Gi-Oh: The Abridged Series
Mom: grumbling All because of that New Orleans hurricane!
Dad: What’s a Norman hurricane?
That is clever!
“This is the worst video. Nobody wins in this video”
- Friend’s reaction to the 80’s music video for David Bowie & Mick Jagger’s “Dancing in the Street”
“D’oh!”
Homer Simpson.
“Birds versus Monkeys!!!”
-Pedro, Rio
“If you’re one of the nation’s most violent fugitives… sooner or later, you’re gonna meet Annie.”
- Tagline, Chase
“Now, Watson, the fair sex is your department”
Sherlock Holmes, The Second Stain.
“Sometimes, when I’m at a McDonald’s and no one is looking, I stick my hand in the straw dispenser and touch all the straws.”
- David Bowie
Watson: Good heavens!Who would associate crime with these dear old homesteads?
Holmes: They always fill me with a certain horror. It is my belief, Watson, founded upon my experience, that the lowest and vilest alleys in London do not present a more dreadful record of sin than does the smiling and beautiful countryside.
Watson: You horrify me!
Holmes: But the reason is very obvious. The pressure of public opinion can do in the town what the law cannot accomplish. There is no lane so vile that the scream of a tortured child, or the thud of a drunkard’s blow, does not beget sympathy and indignation among the neighbours, and then the whole machinery of justice is ever so close that a word of complaint can set it going, and there is but a step between the crime and the dock. But look at these lonely houses, each in its own fields, filled for the most part with poor ignorant folk who know little of the law. Think of the deeds of hellish cruelty, the hidden wickedness which may go on, year in, year out, in such places, and none the wiser.
The Copper Beeches
“He’s 80 years old… and we’re thrilled to be making a movie based on Tintin. No longer the young man that you see behind us, but it’s a movie about an 80 year-old… young reporter. He’s got long grey hair, long grey beard, you wait till you see it, it’s gonna be amazing!”
- Peter Jackson on The Adventures of Tintin
“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.”
Sherlock Holmes, The Sign of the Four.
I don’t know what’s more epic, standing in the rain or parking on a white line.
Friend in theatre class.
Watson: Excellent!
Holmes: Elementary.
The Crooked Man
“Something incredible! I’ll do something incredible.
I want to be the Mormon who changed all mankind
Something I forseen, now that I’m 19
I’ll do something incredible, that’ll blow God’s fricken’ mind!”
-Elder Price, The Book of Mormon the Musical
“It was easier to know it than to explain why I know it. If you were asked to prove that two and two made four, you might find some difficulty, and yet you are quite sure of the fact.”
Sherlock Holmes, A Study in Scarlet.
“If history is to change, let it change.
If the world is to be destroyed, so be it.
If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh.”
- Magus, Chrono Trigger