“Wow! So the Bible is actually a triology? And The Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi? I’M interested!.”
-Elder Cunningham, The Book of Mormon the Musical
“You see, we have never been able to keep a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher for longer than a year since I refused the post to Lord Voldemort.”
Albus Dumbledore, Lord Voldemort’s Request.
“Drinking beer is easy. Trashing your hotel room is easy. But being a Christian, that’s a tough call. That’s real rebellion!”
- Alice Cooper
“I know I will be dead long before you read this but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more”
R.A.B.
Peter- “And did the doctor say say that it’s not medically advisable to fall asleep behind the wheel?”
Ethan- “I was just resting my eyes for a minute!”
-Due Date
“Death is but crossing the world; as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends, and though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal.”
William Penn, More Fruits of Solitude.
Nhaah 
Ill do a real one too.
“I’ll get to the point, then, If I hear you’re using these Occlumency lessons to give Harry a hard time, you’ll have me to answer to.”
Siris black
“I shall attend to the boy in person. There have been too many mistakes where Harry Potter is concerned. Some of them have been my own. That Potter lives is due more to my errors, than to his triumphs… I have been careless, and so have been thwarted by luck and chance, those wreckers of all but the best laid plans. But I know better now. I understand those things that I did not understand before. I must be the one to kill Harry Potter, and I shall be.”
Voldemort, The Dark Lord Ascending.
Emotions can cause commotions
-unknown
“People, let’s try and calm down a bit. Things are bad enough without inventing stuff as well. For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a Basilisk, listeners. One simple test: check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do… The fact remains he can move faster than Severus Snape confronted with shampoo when he wants to.”
Fred Weasley.
Hes 
Different.
-ash fantastic mr fox
“Vot is the point of being an international Quidditch player if all the good-looking girls are taken?”
Viktor Krum, The Wedding.
^I like that one
Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?
“I prefer not to put all of my secrets in one basket.”
Dumbledore, The Prince’s Tale.
“It wouldn’t be a real rescue if we got there early.”
-Buzz Lightyear, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Return of XL
Ginny Weasley: I’d like you to have something to remember me by, you know, if you meet some Veela when you’re off doing whatever you’re doing.
Harry Latino: I think dating opportunities are going to be pretty thin on the ground to be honest.
The Will of Albus Dumbledore.
“So I sent the chef out to get another jar of pickled herring! And the dinner party was saved!”
-Alfred, LarryBoy and the Rumor Weed (VeggieTales)
What did Jesus do
When they put nails in his hands?
Did he scream like a girl?
Or did he take it like a man?
-Elder Cunningham, The Book of Mormon: The Musical
“That’s jim-crackin’ dandy!”
-Zurg, Buzz Lightyear of Star Command: The Adventure Begins
“Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much. They were the last people you’d expect to be involved in anything strange or mysterious, because they just didn’t hold with such nonsense.”
Harry Potter series opening lines.