It is pretty much all set, until you point out the grammar and spelling changes.
Here you go guys. Next chapter.
Chapter 7: Adventure and Exploration
The teenaged heroine ran through the jungle. She did not hesitate to look back. All that was on her mind was completing her mission and not running into any trouble. Invisigirl explored through the entire jungle. She noticed tall trees, long vines, beautiful green plants, large boulders, and overall, a perfect scenery.
Suddenly, after twenty minutes, and two miles of jungle exploring, Invisigirl came across a great big lake, with a huge waterfall cascading down. The teen hero gazed up at the huge waterfall as she stared in awe. Afterwards she decided to take a rest. Invisigirl sat by he edge of the lake, took of her boots, and sunk her feet into the water. It was nice, cool, and refreshing. After about five minutes, she placed her boots back on. The young heroine got to her feet and resumed exploring the jungles of Nomanisan.
She ran and adventured some more but she could not locate anything that would implicate any indication of strange activity. She slowed to a jog, and after that, she decided to walk. Invisigirl sighed as she pressed on.
“I’m never gonna find anything.” complained the young Super. “Why can’t this be easy?”
Suddenly, Invisigirl tripped and fell into a hole. She quickly got to her feet and made her way out of the hole. When she got out, Invisigirl noticed something very odd about the large hole she fell in. It was the shape of a footprint, a big footprint. The teenaged Super observed the hole. Suddenly, Invisigirl got nailed in the chest with a red laser. The blast knocked her off of her feet and was sent colliding into a tree. As the young Super trembled to her feet, rubbing her back, she glared at what hit her.
Suddenly, a giant robot appeared out of no where. It was very tall. It had two arms, two legs, an indestructible body, and a head with a bloodshot, triangular, red eye. Immediately, Invisigirl disappeared, cloaked in her invisibility. As she quietly tiptoed away, the robot looked around. And, ironically it snatched the invisible Invisigirl by extending it’s robotic claw long enough to grab the super. The heroine reappeared. She had a frightened look on her face. The robot looked at Invisigirl, then it tossed her up into the air. When gravity reached her and she started to plummet toward the earth, Invisigirl saw the robot pull it’s arm back, ready to swing. At the last second, she formed a force field around herself. As a result, the robot swung the force field, with Invisigirl inside like a baseball, projecting te purple orb into the sky.
Of course, after the blow Invisigirl’s force field took, the young hero’s energy decreased dramatically. So while Invisigirl was in midair, her force field just suddenly disappeared. Soon after, she started to drop. She screamed at the top of her lungs as she gravitated towards the earth. Invisigirl started to relax as she saw that she was going to plunge into a lake, the same lake that she rested at. Seconds later, the teen heroine dove into the deep lake. She sank about 10 feet. She was tired, and her energy was almost out. She swam to the surface and gasped for air as soon as her head reached the surface.
“That was close.” panted a drenched Invisigirl.
Suddenly, she heard a sound. It was a sound of something walking, or stomping toward her direction. Invisigirl, afraid of the possibility of it being the robot who just attacked her, took a big, deep breath, and submerged underwater.
The teenaged super heroine’s prediction could not been any more right. The robot that attacked her appeared out of the forest, knocking down two trees. The robot looked right, the left. Then, it looked down at the lake.
Invisigirl cringed in fear underwater. She thought in her head, “Did it see me? Am I gonna die? When is it going to leave? I’m running out of air.”
After a minute, the robot walked away. Invisigirl emerged from the water, gasping and coughing roughly. She sighed as she swam to the edge. There, she laid on the ground and rested for many minutes. Later, Invisigirl sat up and gazed at the lake. She then noticed a bright, blue light shining under the water. It was coming from a cave, a few feet deep below the surface. Invisigirl sighed, then decided to check it out. She took a deep breath and dove into the water.
She swam underwater to the illuminating cave. Invisigirl continued to swim into the cave, following the mysterious light. Soon, she started to feel light headed. She was running out of oxygen and had to surface fast. Turning back wasn’t an option anymore. She had no choice but to press on. The light started to get brighter, signaling that the young super was close to the surface. The heroine swam as hard as she could, yearning for air. Finally, Invisigirl reached the surface and gasped for oxygen as soon as her head emerged from the water. She was now exhausted, but she swam to a shallow area. There, she rested.
Half an hour later, she woke up. Invisigirl was all drenched, and soaked. She stumbled to her feet, shivering. The soaked Super looked up and what she saw completely took her breath away. The source of the glowing blue light was coming from a machine. Invisigirl went to check it out. She first saw a humongous, empty capsule with a large amount of computers and monitors nearby. Invisigirl looked behind her. She saw more capsules but this time, it was occupied. When she saw what was inside, she got so terrified, she tripped backwards and fell. Invisigirl got back to her feet and stared at the figure inside the capsule.
“Gazerbeam?” she wondered. She looked at the capsules next to them and found even more supers. “Stratogale? Dynaguy? Apogee? Gamma-Jack?”
Each capsule had a Super occupying it. There were almost about one hundred capsules filled with Super Heroes. Invisigirl saw that each capsule had a little pipe that connected and led to the large capsule she first found. The young super began to ponder on the possibility of what the machine was. As she did, she found the exit of the cave and began to walk out.
“What was that thing? Could that be the cause of the strange activity going on here? I need to tell mom and dad about this.” She said to herself.
The bad news was, the robot who attacked her earlier reappeared. Invisigirl jumped back and began to sprint back into the cave. Unfortunately, the robot grabbed her. As the heroine was brought closer to the robot, she knew the only way out of this, was to fight it.
Hey TSS! Thought you might want an extra opinion on your work! I’ve read up to Chapter 4, so I’ll give each chapter an individual review.
Chapter 1
I liked the way how you opened the chapter and story. Bank robberies may seem cliched, but they nonetheless seize a reader’s attention in a similar fashion to other action sequences like a car chase, heist, or shootout would kick off an action movie. Some of my favourite films like Metro, Inside Man and the recent Dark Knight all opened with a bank robbery, and yours was about just as tense.
Nice one!
I liked this line too.
Chapter 2
So while you began the first chapter with the adults, this time you introduce the kids in their own ‘adventure’. I liked that touch.
I liked the fact you used a wrestling term in there, good display of general knowledge.
Ha ha! I thought the acronyms stood for National Security Headquarters! Whether it was intentional or not, you did a nice spoof on the official government agency!
Chapter 3
I don’t know whether this was meant to be intentionally funny in a dark way, but I loved this exchange. It’s kind of like when someone tells a secret agent that “less than 1 percent of spies complete a mission alive,” and the hero does a smart-aleck remark like “I’ll take my chances,” you know what I’m sayin’? It’s dark humour.
The fact that there are even statistics comparing superhero fatalities to villians is hilarious, not to mention Mr Incredible’s observation of a comic-book convention of bad guys returning in subsequent sequels no matter how many times they’ve been defeated.
Great retort!
Overall, I like your story so far. Each Super is in-character, especially with Dash being annoyingly enthusiastic and Violet being the insecure heroine. Keep up the good work! I’ll try to read the next chapters when I have the time, and critique on those, but so far it’s been proving to be quite interesting. 
Thank you for your extended reviews thedriveintheatre. I swear, you have gotta be my favorite person on PP when you come review my stuff. I shall await for the other chapters.
Wow! Those are great!
Really intense, TSS! And I used to think being a super was easy! Amazing way of writing and describing the scenes.
Thanks BBD. And if you think this was an intense chapter, just wait for the next ones.
THanks a lot M-O!
The most creative chapter yet, The Star Swordsman. I totally didn’t expect Violet to dive under the water to go into the secret place. I can’t wait to read what happens next with those weird tubes that the supers are in. It’s like something out of a sci-fi movie. =)
Thanks for reading rachel!
Everyone, expect a chapter update tommorow!
Hey guys, well, here comes my next chapter. If you look at the first post, I warned you that my fanfic was “rated PG [maybe PG-13 in case violence and beatings becomes a little too strong for PG] for action violence & fighting)” THis chapter is where it gets a little strong. You have been warned. Enjoy the next chapter.
Chapter 8: Assault
Invisigirl assumed a fighting stance as she prepared herself to take on the robot. The robot slowly advanced near to her. When it was close, it lifted it’s hand and hammered it to the super. Luckily, Invisigirl threw up a force field to shield herself just in time. This however drained her energy, making the young girl weaker. The robot continued to pound the force field. Five hits later, Invisigirl dropped her force field and sank to her knees in fatigue. The robot suddenly grabbed the weary super, lifted her up, and slammed her forcefully on to the hard, rocky surface of the mountain. That sent a jolt of pain up Invisigirl’s spine. The robot them slammed the young super, stomach first, on to the hard ground. Lifted Invisigirl up once again and started to squeeze the life out of her. She hollered in pain as she felt her bones in her body were about to be crushed. Then, without warning, the robot released her. Invisigirl’s poor body landed hard on the ground. She felt that every single bone in her body was broken. She wailed in pain as she stumbled to her feet. Unfortunately, the young hero fell back down as soon as she got up.
The robot approached closer to her. It grabbed Invisigirl by the hair and lifted her off the ground and in to the air. “No. . . please. . . don’t. . .” the heroine softly implored.
Unfortunately, the robot ignored her pleas. As soon as it released his grip on Invisigirl’s long, dark hair, the young super started to plummet toward the earth. The robot the delivered a vicious right hook across the cheek of Invisigirl’s face. She was projected into a mountain, denting the rocky surface. The merciless robot the gave another impacting left hook across the cheek bone of the poor super. Upon impact, Invisigirl hurled across and dragged along the ground. She laid on the ground, whimpering in pain. The robot wrapped a metallic hand around the heroine and started to choke her. Invisigirl gaged for air. As she struggled for a breath, tears began to streak out of the young girl’s eyes. Many seconds later, the robot loosened it’s hold on her neck. Invisigirl coughed violently. Suddenly, the robot grabbed her by the hair and lifted her once again in the air. The teenaged super screamed at the top of her lungs. Then, after the robot released her, it connected a devastating uppercut to the chin of Invisigirl, sending her flying 50 feet into the air. When gravity got to her, she began to descend back to the earth. Before she crashed into the ground, the robot gave her a solid punch straight into the face of the super heroine. She was sent slamming through a series of trees. Finally, she came into contact with a large tree trunk. Invisigirl slumped against the tree. She nursed her beaten face. The robot ran to the downed super. It gave a sharp, strong kick to her stomach. She clenched her midsection, groaning and writhing in pain. The robot walked up to the downed Invisigirl. She had a terrified look as it got closer. Suddenly, it stopped.
“That will be enough for a weak Super.” said a mysterious voice.
Invisigirl heard footsteps coming her way. She looked up but the bright sun blinded her vision. Then the shadow of the voice came in front of the beaten heroine. She was still blinded and couldn’t see the mysterious person. She struggled to get to her hands and knees.
“What an unpleasant mess you are, after the beating my robot gave you.” he laughed.
Invisigirl got on all fours, but after that, she fell back down to the ground. Pain surged throughout her body.
“W. . .W. . . Who are you?” she quietly asked, still blinded by the sun. “Are you gonna k. . . kill me?”
The mysterious villain laughed. “You don’t need to know now. And. . . well now that you mentioned it, killing you would be a splendid idea.” he chucked. Invisigirl’s eyes widened in horror and fear as she got to her hands and knees again. “But,” he continued, “ I have better things to do. Begone!”
And with that said, the mysterious shadow gave a sharp kick to her midsection. Now this kick wasn’t any normal strike that anyone can do. This was a Mr. Incredible power kick that send Invisigirl flying up into the air above Nomanisan. The teenaged heroine fell back down to earth and plunged into the ocean. After the beating she took, Invisigirl’s energy was almost gone. She used the last of her strength to swim to the surface. As soon as her head emerged from the water, she gasped for air. Invisigirl wiped the wateroff of her face. She wearily swam to the beach but was eventually washed up on to the shore. Invisigirl crawled up on to the beach, clenching her stomach. She panted on the sand as she started to loose consciousness. Before she passed out, she managed to see her mother picking her up, and carrying her away.
AWWEESOME…great way to start a second incredibles film.
can’t wait to see more.
Ouch, poor, poor Invisigirl! But you were right, TSS, this chapter is even more intense! And I think I know who the mysterious voice belongs to.
BBD: Maybe because you have read my fanfic before? 
My pleasure.
I’m aware I’m a little behind in terms of reading progress, but anyhoo, here’s my opinion of Chapter 4 and 5.
Chapter 4
Woah…a little angsty there. I thought that was a bit uncalled for and exaggerated. Usually people would shout only when they’re extremely frustrated with somebody, or when they want to intimidate someone. Maybe a better response would just be a quiet brooding at the table, an early exit, and then when Helen enquires in her room, a tearful response. Yours was kinda like Harry Potter’s constant caps-locked tantrums in Order of the Phoenix, if you’ve read it.
On the other hand, I liked her voicing of her fears, it was quite emotional. And Helen’s reply was equally touching and reasurring.
I have a feeling she’s gonna be proven wrong. Great foreshadowing!
Chapter 5
This chapter didn’t quite work for me. I know it was to be the more ‘quiet’ part of the story, but some bits like the description of breakfast and the various lessons are frankly quite superfluous. Pacing could be tightened just a bit, IMHO. On a funny side note, the chapter’s title is very apt. 
Regarding the early-morning slap-up, Dash is increasingly getting on my nerves. Is this intentional? 
What a tease. Ugh!
Laugh out loud!
I also liked Helen asking Bob to be less assumptive and consider his daughter’s feelings. Kinda real-life parental exchange.
Violet’s internal thoughts being voiced in the final monologue was a bit theatrical for me.
I hope you take my comments as constructive criticism. These two chapters are quite good for the emotional ‘meat’ of the story, but they just lacked the punch and pacing of the first two, and the character’s feelings are expressed too explicitly (ie too much is explained through dialogue). Subtlety is the key here, a lot can be revealed through body language and intonation. I liked this line:
It appeared more natural (the stammering and the quick eye-drying) than the dramatic monologue at the end. Nevertheless, keep up the awesome work, I look forward to the following chapters!
great job TSS we will be held in suspence till the next chapter comes out.
thedriveintheatre: I accept your constructive critism. Thanks for it. I am glad you were touched when Helen talked with Violet. (Most people on Fanfiction.net say I’m good with emotional stuff). I can’t wait to see what you have to say about the next chapters (And at the same time, I am quite scared and nervous)
A-Bob: Thanks a lot!
Also the [spoil]title gives a hint[/spoil]
Yah…just a little
ROTFLOL! 
I guess we’ll find out wont we? Until then keep imagining what happens next.