Abe Lincoln: Where are you going?
Mary Todd Lincoln: Let’s just say I’m ‘seceding from our Union’
Abe Lincoln: 'What?!?1"
Mary Todd Lincoln: I’m going shopping!
-The Civil War (Part 1), Histeria
Jack: Granted it tends to list to port and has been on occasion known to frighten young women. And I promise you, you will not be dissapointed.
Giselle: Is that it?
Scarlett: The Black Pearl?
Giselle: It’s not very big
Jack: Love, that is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish and… gone. Why is it gone?
Giselle: Is that it there? [looks out to the horizon]
Jack: Yes, there it is! Why is it there? It’s much larger up close.
Scarlett: Oh, Jack! You promised to take us for a ride!
Giselle: I was to be given the first ride!
Scarlett: What, you?
[Jack walks over to Gibbs who is asleep, and pours rum over him]
Jack: Mr Gibbs, any particular reason why my ship is gone?
Gibbs: The ship? We’re on the ship… [he awakes] Jack! the ship’s gone!
Jack: Really?
[Giselle and Scarlett are fighting]
Jack: Ladies! Will you please shut it! Listen to me. Yes, I lied to you. No, I don’t love you. Of course it makes you look fat! I’ve never been to Brussels. It is pronounced ‘egregious’. By the way no, I’ve never actually met Pizarro but I love his pies. And all of this pales to utter insignificance in light of the fact that my ship is, once again, gone, savvy?
At World’s End.
“You married Elastigirl… and got BIZAY!!!”
Syndrome.
Toasty: We can’t go to the beach, I forgot my suntan lotion. And you know how much I burn.
General William T. Sherman: Burning is exactly what I have in mind Toasty!
-Histeria
Angelica: “Admit it, Jack. You still love me.”
Jack: "If you had a sister and a dog…I’d choose the dog.
On Stranger Tides.
“So, like the Bible is actually a triology? That makes The Book of Mormon is The Return of the Jedi? I’m interested!”
-Elder Cunningham,[i] The Book of Mormon /i
Rafael: Pssst! Blu, down here! Just tell her, you have beautiful eyes.
Blu: That’s good. Great idea!
[he turns to Jewel]
Blu: I have beautiful eyes.
- Rio
Barbossa: You!
Jack: No…you!
Barbossa: I was here first. You! Why are you here?
Jack: Blackbeard sent me. Why you?
Barbossa: Silver chalices from a royal liege.
Jack: Oh, please.
[Jack attacks Barbossa and the ship starts to tilt]
Barbossa: Back, back! We have to balance it out!
Jack: Right, then. What if…we each choose an item of approximately equal weight? [picks up a vase, ship tilts over again]
Barbossa: Put it back! We touch nothing!
[a chest slides out]
Jack: But what about that?
Barbossa: The Chalices.
[Barbossa steps backwards, ship tilts once more, moving the Chalices towards him]
Jack: Oi! Why do you get to look first?
Barbossa: Fine, then!
[they switch sides, ship tilts again, they crawl towards the chest and grab its lid]
Barbossa and Jack: …Together.
On Stranger Tides.
Gibbs: Last time I heard, you were hell-bent on finding the Fountain of Youth!
Jack: I’m just as bent as ever… hellishly so!
- Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
Angelica: This is the way, isn’t it?
Jack: 'Course it is. But we should go around to the east.
Angelica: There is no time.
Jack: You’re the one who insisted on bringing a bloody mermaid.
Angelica: Well, the mutiny didn’t help!
Jack: You walk like a girl.
Angelica: You would know.
On Stranger Tides
As long as you try your best. I just want to see you test yourself than do it for the grade. Remember, I don’t mind if you can’t swim a mile. But if you notice great improvement in your strokes, then that’s rewarding in itself.
“Remember the bad guys, on those shows you used to watch on Saturday mornings? Well, these guys are not like those guys. They won’t exercise restraint because you’re children. They. Will. Kill you if they get the chance. Do NOT give them that chance.”~The Incredibles, Helen Parr
Blu: I mean you! You have beautiful eyes. I mean, mine are okkay, I bet you can see right threw them!
Salaman: You’re either with us or against us!
Philip Swift: I’m not with you neither am I against you.
Salaman: Can he do that?
Jack Sparrow: He’s religious. I believe it’s required.
On Stranger Tides.
Alpha? I am not Alpha, he is- Ohhhhhhh!
-Dug, Up
Angelica: What were you doing in a Spanish convent, anyway?!
Jack: Mistook it for a brothel. Honest mistake.
On Stranger Tides.
“Good Night.”~me
EJE: Laugh Out Loud! 
[to Jack Sparrow]
Angelica: “How is it we can never meet without you pointing something at me?”
- Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides
Scrum: Milady! I see unseamenlike fellows of officious-looking nature!
Angelica: …Friends of yours?
Jack Sparrow: I may have unintentionally slighted some King or another.
Angelica: …You haven’t changed.
Jack Sparrow: Implying the need?
Angelica: Yes. You betrayed me! You seduced me and you used me. I was innocent of the ways of men.
Jack Sparrow: You demonstrated a lot of technique for someone I supposedly corrupted.
On Stranger Tides.
“Cheese and sprinkles!”
-Linda, Rio