“Hey, do you want to hear something funny? I use to think that drinking coffee was wrong. Want to know why? Because apperently a tribe of ancient Jews lived in America, were visited to Christ,created huge ancient leaving no archealogical trace of them accept Golden Plates, which were dug up by a FARMER, who wrote amongst other things that coffee is ‘bad for the health and spirit’ so I can’t have a cup of COFFEE! Hah!”
-Elder Price, The Book of Mormon: The Musical
“Professor Flitwick had given each student a stack of cushions on which to practice, the theory being that these wouldn’t hurt anyone if they went off target. It was a good theory, but it wasn’t working very well. Neville’s aim was so poor that he kept accidentally sending much heavier things flying across the room - Professor Flitwick, for instance.”
The Second Task
“Long ago, in the year of our Lord 326, a great prophet is the leader of the Nephite people in ancient upstate New York.”
-Narrator, The Book of Mormon: The Musical
“Take this, brother. May it serve you well.”
“If you want to know what a man’s like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
Sirius Black, Padfoot Returns
“The coldest winter I every expirenced was a summer in San Francisco.”
-Mark Twain
Somethings, you gotta learn, hit or miss.
Lyrics to a song on my ipod.
Mr. Krabs: I didn’t want to tell you this in front of Patrick, but that hat makes you look like a girl. SpongeBob: Am I a pretty girl?
Mr. Krabs: Well… yes, you’re… you’re beautiful.
Hahahaha, Spongebob is awesome.
“Trust me, high school ends. You graduate and get away from all the people you never want to see again - it’s all good”- Chad Michael Murray.
Elder Cunningham: From this point on, according to rule 72, we’re not suppose to go anywherer without each other, except the bathroom!
Elder Price: That’s right Elder.
Elder Cunningham: This is so great, because usually my friends leave me, but you can’t! Haha!
-Book of Mormon: The Musical
“Dumbledore swept off along the corridor behind Harry, leaving Snape standing next to the gargoyle and looking twice as ugly.”
The Madness of Mr. Crouch
Trey: “Hi, I’m Trey Parker.”
Matt: “And I’m Matt Stone.”
Trey: “Together, we’re the creators of wholesome, family entertainment.”
-Matt & Trey, creators of South Park
Harry Potter: I need to go to the hospital wing, I think. Bad headache.
Professor Trelawney: My dear, you were undoubtedly stimulated by the extraordinary clairvoyant vibrations of my room! If you leave now, you may lose the opportunity to see further than you have ever-
Harry Potter: I don’t want to see anything except a headache cure.
The Dream
“Remember, superheros that pray together, stay together.”
-Joe Young, Orgazmo
“I sometimes find, and I am sure you know the feeling, that I simply have too many thoughts and memories crammed into my mind.”
Albus Dumbledore, The Pensieve
“I think Phil and Bernie are trying to kill me- to death!”
Ethan Daniels, The Ceiling Fan Podcast
First think of the person who lives in disguise,
Who deals in secrets and tells naught but lies.
Next, tell me what’s always the last thing to mend,
The middle of middle and end of the end?
And finally give me the sound often heard
During the search for a hard-to-find word.
Now string them together, and answer me this,
Which creature would you be unwilling to kiss?
Sphinx riddle, The Third Task
Satan: No, it can’t be! You’re dead, I killed you!
Saddam Hussein: Yeah, you killed me. Where was I gonna go, Detroit?
-South Park
“Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son!
Flesh of the servant, w-willingly given, you will revive your m-master!
Blood…of the enemy…forcibly taken…you will resurrect your foe.”
Peter Pettgrew’s ritual to resurrect his master, Flesh, Blood and Bone