Nabulungi: They’ve heard of the Bible
African Woman: Every year they come, telling us of how Christ died for our sins, but everything stays the same. Your Bible doesn’t work!
Elder Young: Well of course that didn’t work. Those were Christian missionaries. We’re Mormons!
Nabulungi: What’s the difference?
Elder Young: We have a little more- pizzaz. A touch of Rock and Roll. And a hip new Prophet, by the name of Joseph Smith.
-Book of Mormon: The Musical
“Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what your gonna get.”
Tom Hanks, Forest Gump
“The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.”
-Fredrich Nietzche
Just because you are a character doesn’t mean you have character.
Winston Wolf, Pulp Fiction
“Genetic Engineering is science’s way of fixing God’s horrible mistakes, like German people.”
-Mr. Hat, South Park
“He doesn’t need anything like magic to know what’s going down. All he needs is some dirt on you and a bit of psychology. That’s where the real power is.”
-Excerpt from one of my original stories.
Stan: ‘And that’s another thing! Stop acting so fricken’ nice all the time, it’s not normal! You just con other people into your relgion by acting like the happiest family in the world, and brainwashing dumb people like my Dad!’
Stan’s Dad: ‘Yeah!’
-South Park
“When I get older, I will be there at your side to remind you how I still love you.”
‘Let’s make like a baby and head out’
-My high school Agriculture teacher, when we head to the school farm.
Walter: “You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, Dude. You don’t wanna know about it, believe me.”
-The Big Lebowski
“This isn’t flying. This is falling with style!”
Buzz Lightyear, Toy Story
Forever in debt to your priceless advise.
Heart Shaped Box-Nirvana
Have you heard of the All American prophet?
He found a brand new book about Jesus Christ!
We’re following him to paradise, we call ourselves Mormon!
And our new relgion is All American!
-Mormon Pioneers, The Book of Mormon
“Isn’t it strange how little we change, isn’t it sad we’re insane?”
“Too bad drinking scotch isn’t a paying job, otherwise Kenny’s Dad would be a millionaire!”
-South Park
A: I don’t like losing!
B: You should be used to it right now…
Bucky o’Hare
I’ve made 10 good films. The ones that suck I tend to blank out. It’s like I never even made them. Well, there aren’t 40 that are great, put it that way. But that’s fine. Ten is a good batting average.- John Cusack.
Mr. Garrison: Alright children, this week we’ll be hosting a Can Food Drive, can anyone here tell me what a Can Food Drive is?
Cartman: Isn’t that when they cut open a pregnant chick’s stomach to get the baby out?
Mr. Garrision: No, that’s a Caesarian section. Remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-South Park
Bob: “‘With God, all things are possible.’ Matthew 19:26”
Larry: “Oh great, 'cuz I’ve always wanted to be a chicken! Do you think God would turn me into a chicken?”
Bob: “Uh-uh, no, that’s not what the verse means.”
Dave and the Giant Pickle (VeggieTales)
“The view… from my apartment… was the World Trade Center… and now it’s gone, and they attacked it. This symbol of American ingenuity, and strength, and labor, and imagination and commerce, and it is gone. But you know what the view is now? The Statue of Liberty. The view from the South of Manhattan is now the Statue of Liberty. You can’t beat that.”
-Jon Stewert, during his first show after 9/11