Jennifer Aniston: You’re Eric Cartman. I’ve heard about you, you don’t care about nature, and don’t respect other cultures.
Cartman: Yep, that’s pretty much it!
-South Park
“Classic upsale, works every time.”
Speedy Gonzales.
Phineas Nigellus: I have a message for you from Albus Dumbledore.
Harry Potter: What is it?
Phineas Nigellus: ‘Stay where you are.’
Harry Potter: I haven’t moved! So what’s the message?
Phineas Nigellus: I have just given it to you, dolt. Dumbledore says, ‘Stay where you are.’
Christmas on the Closed Ward
“This is about history, kids. If you don’t have respect for your past, then you can never expect to have a future. Nowadays, everyone wants to change mascots and flags because they’re not “politically correct.” Well, where does it end? I mean, people are gonna start sayin’ that the Denver Broncos are offensive to horses. And then we’ll have to change everything, and pretty soon all our history will be forgotten.”
-Uncle Jimbo, South Park
“You keepin’ well, then, 'Arry? I seen your name in the paper loads over the summer, but it weren’t never nuffink very nice… I said to Ern, I said, ''e didn’t seem like a nutter when we met ‘im, just goes to show, dunnit?’”
Stan Shunpike, Occlumency
" Turn the page, wash your hand’s. Turn the page, wash your hand’s. And then you turn the page, and then you wash your hand’s"
Rabbit- Rocko’s Modern Life
“I don’t think Daddy exactly pays people to write for the magazine. They do it because it’s an honor and, of course, to see their names in print.”
Luna Lovegood, The Beetle at Bay
Harry: And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?
Ron: Throw it away and punch him in the nose
“You should write a book, translating mad things girls do so boys can understand them.”
Ron Weasley, Seen and Unforeseen
“Where is my poster machine?”
Stacey King, Bulls commentator.
“I made so much money I can’t hear my own heartbeat!”
- Runaway Five Manager, EarthBound
Cornelius Fudge: You will now be escorted back to the Ministry, where you will be formally charged and then sent to Azkaban to await trial!
Albus Dumbledore: Ah, yes. Yes, I thought we might hit that little snag.
Cornelius Fudge: Snag? I see no snag, Dumbledore!
Albus Dumbledore: Well, I’m afraid I do. You seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to - what is the phrase? ‘Come quietly.’ I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course - but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.
Cornelius Fudge: So, you intend to take on Dawlish, Shacklebolt, Dolores, and myself single-handed, do you, Dumbledore?
Albus Dumbledore: Merlin’s beard, no. Not unless you are foolish enough to force me to.
The Centaur and the Sneak
“I am a Cop and you will respect my authoritah.”
Cartman, South Park
“Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Patrick.
“You know, Minister, I disagree with Dumbledore on many counts… but you cannot deny he’s got style.”
Phineas Nigellus Black, The Centaur and the Sneak
I remember in class, that our teacher asked us to use writing utensils, and I asked in front of the class:
“Does blood count as a writing utensil?”
“Thank you so much, Professor! I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn’t sure whether I had the authority…”
Filius Flitwick to newly appointed Headmistress Dolores Umbridge, Snape’s Worst Memory.
“Say hello to my little friends!” Scarface
“Give her hell from us, Peeves.”
Fred Weasley, giving his last commands to destabilize Dolores Umbridge, Careers Advice
Society teaches us that, having feelings and crying is bad and wrong. Well, that’s baloney, because grief isn’t wrong. There’s such a thing as good grief. Just ask Charlie Brown
-Michael Scott, The Office