Ice Delivery Man: You’ve got to start charging more than a dollar a bag. We lost four more men on this expedition!
Apu: If you can think of a better way to get ice, I’d like to hear it.
“If you’re wearing the horns, keep your head down - if your head goes back, you genuinely look like a reindeer.”
- Tom Hiddleston on how playing Thor villain Loki can be a joke sometimes
Mr. Burns: Smithers, I’m so happy. Something amazing has happened, I’m actually happy. Take a note! From now on, I’m only going to be good and kind to everyone.
Smithers: I’m sorry sir, I don’t have a pencil.
Mr. Burns: Oh, don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll remember it.
You’d better watch your mouth, kid, or you’ll find yourself floating home]
-Han Solo
Homer: Flanders?! You’re the devil?!
Devil Flanders: It’s always the one you least expect isn’t it?
Yesterday is history, tomorrow’s a mystery, but today is a gift. That’s why it’s called the present
-Master Oogway, Kung Fu Panda.
“Who are these miserable persons?” said the Great Goblin. “Dwarves, and this!” said one of the drivers, pulling at Bilbo’s chain so that he fell forward onto his knees.
“We found them sheltering in our Front Porch.”
“What do you mean by it?” said the Great Goblin turning to Thorin. “Up to no good, I’ll warrant! Spying on the private business of my people, I guess! Thieves, I shouldn’t be surprised to learn! Murderers and friends of Elves, not unlikely! Come! What have you got to say?”
“Thorin the dwarf at your service!” he replied-it was merely a polite nothing. “Of the things which you suspect and imagine we had no idea at all. We sheltered from a storm in what seemed a convenient cave and unused; nothing was further from our thoughts than inconveniencing goblins in any way whatever.” That was true enough!
“Urn!” said the Great Goblin. “So you say! Might I ask what you were doing up in the mountains at all, and where you were coming from, and where you were going to? In fact I should like to know all about you. Not that it willdo you much good, Thorin Oakenshield, I know too much about your folk already; but let’s have the truth, or I will prepare something particularly uncomfortable for you!”
“We were on a journey to visit our relatives, our nephews and nieces, and first, second, and third cousins, and the other descendants of our grandfathers, who live on the East side of these truly hospitable mountains,” said Thorin, not quite knowing what to say all at once in a moment, when obviously the exact truth would not do at all.
“He is a liar, O truly tremendous one!” said one of the drivers. “Several of our people were struck by lightning in the cave, when we invited these creatures to come below; and they are as dead as stones. Also he has not explained this!” He held out the sword which Thorin had worn, the sword which came from the Trolls’ lair."
- The Hobbit - Chapter 4 Over Hill And Under Hill
“Lisa, vampires are make-believe, just like elves, gremlins, and Eskimos.”
Homer Simpson.
A squirrel walks up to a tree and says ‘I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead,’ Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.
-Dug, Up <3
Lisa: Hey Dad, I think state and federal laws require us to have a babysitter.
Homer: Oh, Lisa. Haven’t you seen “Home Alone”? If some burglars come, it’ll be a very humorous and entertaining situation.
You are a strange, sad little man, and you have my pity. Farewell!
-Buzz Lightyear
Chief Wiggum: Dispatch, this is Chief Wiggum, back in pursuit of the rebelling women.
Dispatch: All right, your current location?
Chief Wiggum: Oh, uh, I’m, er, I’m on a road. Uh, looks to be asphalt…oh, geez, trees, shrubs…er, I’m directly under the earth’s sun…now!
Stay awesome bros, I know you will.
-PewDiePie
Homer: Aha! Aw, twenty dollars, I wanted a peanut!
Homer’s Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts.
Homer: Explain how.
Homer’s Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services.
The name’s Bond. James Bond.
-James Bond
Kent Brockman: Mr. Simpson, how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80%, while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900%.
Homer: Oh people can come up with statistics to prove anything Kent, forty per cent of all people know that.
“They invited Pac-Man? That cherry chasing dot muncher!” Ralph - Wreck it Ralph
(Bart enters the kitchen whistling the Simpsons theme.)
Marge: Bart, I asked you not to whistle that annoying tune!
You know, cause thunder always comes after… Lightning!
-Lightning McQueen
Lisa: And now you can go back to being you instead of a one-dimensional character with a silly catch phrase.
Homer smashes a lamp
Homer: D’oh!
Bart: Ay caramba!
Marge: Hmm…
Maggie sucks on her pacifier.
Flanders: Hidely-ho!
Barney belches.
Nelson: Ha Ha!
Mr. Burns: Excellent…!
Everyone stares at Lisa.
Lisa: …if anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room.
Silence after she has left.
Homer: What kind of a catchphrase is that?