I am loving that last one Spirit!
Be yourself. Everyone else is taken.
-Oscar Wilde
Yes 
Lisa: It’s awful being a kid. No one listens to you.
Grampa: It’s rotten being old. No one listens to you.
Homer: I’m a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me – no matter how dumb my suggestions are.
LOL! That really made me laugh. 
Well – it’s just that you seem to be laboring under the delusion that I am going to – what is the phrase? – come quietly. I am afraid I am not going to come quietly at all, Cornelius. I have absolutely no intention of being sent to Azkaban. I could break out, of course – but what a waste of time, and frankly, I can think of a whole host of things I would rather be doing.
-Dumbledore
“If you live to be a hundred, I want to live to be a hundred minus one day, so I never have to live without you.”
Pooh Bear.
Hehe. Love that one. Dumbledore and his ego
“I shouldn’t be listening to complaints, I should be making them with you guys! The good Lord lets us grow old for a reason; to gain the wisdom to find fault with everything He’s made.”
Abe Simpson
I know, I feel like they watered down both Dumbledore and Harry as characters in the films.
“LEAVE HIM ALONE!” Lily shouted. She had her own wand out now. James and Sirius eyed it warily.
“Ah, Evans, don’t make me hex you,” said James earnestly.
“Take the curse off him, then!”
James sighed deeply, then turned to Snape and muttered the countercurse.
“There you go,” he said, as Snape struggled to his feet again, “you’re lucky Evans was here, Snivellus–”
“I don’t need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!”
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
Narrator: Malibu Stacy: America’s favorite eight-and-a-half incher. In 1959, homemaker Stacy Lavelle had a design and a dream. The design? Malibu Stacy. The dream? To mass market a fashion doll that was also edible. Kids didn’t much like the taste of dried onion meal, but they loved the doll. A second, plastic Malibu Stacy took America by storm. Just ask the owner of the world’s largest Malibu Stacy collection: Wayland Smithers of Springfield.
Smithers: Hello, Malibu Stacy collectors. I’ll see you atStacyCon '94, at the San Diego Airport Hilton.
“I wouldn’t want you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen --”
“I’m fifteen!” said Harry heatedly.
“Look Harry,” said Sirius placatingly, “James and Snape hated each other from the moment they set eyes on each other, it was just one of those things, you can understand that, can’t you? I think James was everything Snape wanted to be – he was popular, he was good at Quidditch, good at pretty much everything. And Snape was just this little oddball who was up to his eyes in the Dark Arts and James – whatever else he may have appeared to you, Harry – always hated the dark arts.”
“I’d be mortified if someone ever made a lousy product with the Simpson name on it.”
Lisa Simpson.
“Amusing man, your father, wasn’t he?” said Snape, shaking Harry so hard that his glasses slipped down his nose.
“I – didn’t --”
Snape threw Harry from him with all his might. Harry fell hard onto the dungeon floor.
“You will not repeat what you saw to anybody!” Snape bellowed.
“No,” said Harry, getting to his feet as far from Snape as he could, “No, of course I w–”
“Get out, get out, I don’t want to see you in this office ever again!”
And as Harry hurtled toward the door, a jar of dead cockroaches exploded over his head.
“You all have hideous hair!”
Stacy Lavelle to the Simpsons
“Can you tell me something, sir?” said Harry, firing up again. “Why do you call Voldemort the Dark Lord, I’ve only ever heard Death Eaters call him that --”
Kent Brockman’s Daughter: My new doll is much better than Malibu Stacy. Do a newscast about her.
Kent Brockman: Ho ho, please, honey, Daddy’s job is to bring people important news. Right now I’m busy preparing a report about the 40th anniversary of Beetle Bailey.
Kent Brockman’s Daughter: Oh, Daddy, that is boring. Talk about the dolly!
Kent Brockman: Well, you were right about the Berlin Wall.
“That is just as well, Potter,” said Snape coldly, “because you are neither special nor important, and it is not up to you to find out what the Dark Lord is saying to his Death Eaters.”
“Dad, I love you, but you’re a weird, sore-headed old crank and nobody likes you!”
Homer Simpson.
“I’ve warned you, Snivellus,” said Sirius, his face barely a foot from Snape’s, “I don’t care if Dumbledore thinks you’ve reformed, I know better --”
“Oh, but why don’t you tell him so?” whispered Snape. “Or are you afraid he might not take the advice of a man who has been hiding inside his mother’s house for six months very seriously?”
"Anyway, about my washtub…I just used it that morning to wash my turkey, which in those days was known as a “walking bird”. We’d always have walking bird on Thanksgiving with all the trimmings: cranberries, injun eyes, yams stuffed with gunpowder. Then we’d all watch football, which in those days was called “baseball.” "
Grandpa Simpson
“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
“Yes,” said Harry stiffly.
“Yes, sir.”
“There’s no need to call me “sir” Professor.”
The Half Blood Prince
“Ladies and gentlemen, uh, we’ve just lost the picture, but what we’ve seen speaks for itself. The Corvair spacecraft has apparently been taken over, ‘conquered’ if you will, by a master race of giant space ants. It’s difficult to tell from this vantage point whether they will consume the captive Earthmen or merely enslave them. But, one thing is for certain: there is no stopping them; the ants will soon be here. And I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. I’d like to remind them as a trusted TV personality, I can be helpful in rounding up others to toil in their underground sugar caves.”
Kent Brockman
How bad can I be?
-Wreck-it Ralph