“Swimming is glorious!”
A facebook friend last night
I don’t have a favorite Angry Bird!
–Parental Guidance
Dad, something’s running around in here.
More squirrels?
I don’t think so. They’re not bugs or mice, either. They were black and they were all over the place!
–My Neighbor Totoro
Sir, I’m gonna need you to pull to the right. Please pull to the right, sir. Out of traffic.
–Paul Blart: Mall Cop
The boy played “Lady PacMan” at the mall, and had nightmares for a week! Give it here, Kevin.
–Are We There Yet?
Lisa: Mom, are those rabbits dead?
Marge: No, no, Lisa they’re just sleeping, upside down…and inside out.
“Maybe you’ve forgetten that he grabbed me by the face. So I’ll remind you. He grabbed me… BY THE FACE!!!”
Donatello, TMNT
Comic Book Guy: But Aquaman, You can not marry a woman without gills. You’re from two different worlds (Sees a nuclear missile coming) Oh I’ve wasted my life.
It’s Mrs. McCann. Apparently, Andre made an unscheduled stop on his way home.
(over phone) I can’t stand it anymore!
–Andre
Pudge controls the weather.
–Lilo and Stitch
Homer: It’s a handgun! Isn’t it great? This is the trigger, and this is the thing you point at whatever you want to die.
Marge: Homer, I don’t guns in my house! Don’t you remember when Maggie shot Mr. Burns?
Homer: I thought Smithers did it.
Lisa: That would have made a lot more sense.
My honor; my country; my throne. I’m going to lose them all.
-Prince Zuko, Avatar the Last Airbender
Homer: I’d like to buy your deadliest gun, please.
Gun Shop Owner: Aisle six, next to the sympathy cards.
Yeah, and now Alice doesn’t want to leave us alone with them.
She said that?
On the phone to Phil.
–Parental Guidance
You must never give in to despair. Allow yourself to slip down that road and you surrender to your lowest instincts. In the darkest times, hope is something you give yourself. That is the meaning of inner strength.
-Uncle Iroh, B2 C5 “Avatar Day”
TV Announcer: You’ll see all your favorite soccer stars. Like Ariaga! Ariaga II! Bariaga! Aruglia! And Pizzoza!
Homer: Oh, I never heard of those people.
TV Announcer: And they’ll all be signing autographs!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
[Drawing the Fire Nation symbol in the dirt] Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want.
[Drawing the Earth Kingdom symbol] Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring.
[Drawing the Air Nomad symbol] Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns, and they found peace and freedom. [pause] And they apparently had great senses of humor.
[Drawing the Water Tribe symbol] Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribes are capable of adapting to many things. They have a sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.
It is important to draw wisdom from different places. If you take it from only one place it become rigid and stale.
[he draws straight lines separating the four symbols] Understanding others, the other elements, the other nations, will help you become whole.
[He draws a circle around the whole, uniting the four symbols into one] It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful. But it can make you more powerful too.
-Uncle Iroh, B2 C9: Bitter Work
Booyakasha!!!
Michelangelo, TMNT
Iroh: This isn’t tea, this is just hot leaf juice!
Zuko: Uncle, that’s what all tea is.
Iroh:How could someone in my own family say something so horrible!
Homer: A gun is not a weapon, Marge, it’s a tool. Like a butcher’s knife or a harpoon, or… or an alligator.
Guile: Go home and be a family man.
Marge: Homer, I told you this morning, no guns at the dinner table.
Homer: You said the breakfast table.
Marge: It’s the same table!
I’m not a picky eater. I’m a specific eater.
Me at work talking about vegetables
Marge: You know, Homer, it’s very easy to criticize.
Homer: Fun, too.