A boy is playing with his iPhone during Math class.
Teacher: “I could refuse to teach him.”
Boy: “Why don’t you?”
Teacher: points to the door “That’s where the bricklayer left the hole.”
Boy: points to the windows “And there, too.”
Teacher: points in both directions “You can choose which exit you’re going to take.”
Max: “Dad, IT’S BIGFOOT!”
Goofy: “Could you back up a bit, Mr. Foot? You’re, uh, out of focus.”
A half-awake Goofy: “How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?”
Max: “Uh… three and a half?”
A Goofy Movie
Max: “HOLD IT. Will everybody PLEASE stop fussing over us!? I hate to complain, but I asked for us to be left alone and I’ve never seen so many people in my life. What’s next? A marching band?”
Cut to the lobby where a marching band is waiting.
Daisy: “Sorry, guys. Your gig’s off.”
Max: “Head waiter is the easiest job. All you do is order the penguins around and read the funny menu.”
Kiki: “Jiji, if no customers come to the store I’ll have to eat pancakes for the rest of my life and be fat, fat, FAT! And what am I supposed to do about that?”
Jiji: “Eh, I like pancakes. Provided they’re not burnt.”
Cartoon Wars Part I. One of my favorite episodes, it involves the Danish Cartoon controversy, so Cartman and Bart Simpson (yes, the yellow one!) Go out to find a way to cancel Family Guy. I suggest you check it out, it’s free to watch on www.southparkstudios.com
At least they were clever enough to put ‘The Russell Crowe show’ episode as a screenshot! I loved that episode. Thanks anyway, EJE.
…
“Little word of advice… Brazilian ladies respond to confidence! You gotta puff out that chest, kwa-psh! Eyes narrow… like some kind of crazy love hawk! Squaawwkkk!”
Comm Voice: “We’re sending a squad up.” Han: “Uh, negative, negative. We have, uh, a reactor leak here, uh, now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Uh, large leak, very dangerous.” Comm Voice: “Who is this? What’s your operating number?” Han: “Uh…” [shoots the communicator] “Boring conversation, anyway.”
Han Solo: “Uh, everything’s under control. Situation normal.” Comm Voice: “What happened?” Han Solo: “Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh… everything’s perfectly all right now. We’re fine. We’re all fine here now, thank you. How are you?”
Jenny: We have a child. Brian: Oh Jenny, why didn’t you tell me when we went to the hilltop and made sweet, oh how we made sweet sandwhiches. Does it have my eyes, my way of words, does it look like me at all? Jenny: No it doesn’t, because we adopted him, how can you not remember, it was a very difficult process!
C-3PO: “Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one!” Han: “Never tell me the odds.”
At least they were clever enough to put ‘The Russell Crowe show’ episode as a screenshot! I loved that episode. 
Thanks anyway, EJE.