TDIT: The ‘people who cause delays’ line is a reference to Finding Nemo. It was a little bit of dialogue between Marlin and Dory before the school of fish appeared.
Argh… how could I have forgotten that! 
Great reference, JSWeC!
After a long, long break, Chapter Thirteen has finally arrived!!! It took a while for me to edit and check it. Hope you enjoy!
Chapter Thirteen: Define “Bliss”
Inside the pod, Wallace was panicking hysterically. He started pressing every button on the control panel before him. Outside the pod, a parachute, missiles, emergency flares, and an umbrella were launched, and a life raft inflated.
“This thing’s gonna explode!” exclaimed Wallace.
“Self destruct in 20 seconds,” announced the pod’s computer.
Frantically, Wallace scoured the life pod, when he came across a fire extinguisher. It looked as if this was his only hope of survival.
“Aha!” Wallace thought, “The red canister that shoots the fluffy white stuff! Seems like this is my one-shot outta this death trap; I could use it to bust the door open!”
“Self-destruct in 10 seconds,” warned the computer again.
Wallace forcefully banged the extinguisher on the door’s lock with all his might and strength, but it was no use.
“Self destruct in 5, 4, 3, 2…” the computer continued to count down.
“Somebody get me outta here!!!” Wallace cried.
Outside, before Evelyn could get there, the pod exploded. She broke her flight, assuming Wallace had been killed.
“No, no, no,” Evelyn told herself, expecting the worst.
Evelyn zoomed towards the explosion site, when she suddenly saw a trail of white foam headed her way.
“EVELYN!!!” Wallace screamed as he glided past her.
The two stopped in their respective paths. Wallace then figured out how to work the fire extinguisher; unfortunately, not the right way.
“Wallace!” Evelyn exclaimed as they crossed paths again.
“Stay there,” Wallace told her, “I’ll come to you.”
Wallace pointed the fire extinguisher away from him, using it as a jetpack. He then sprayed Evelyn with some of the foam.
“Yes, I’ve finally figured this thing out,” began Wallace, “You see, when people lived back on my world, they would use this red canister to get places faster, so this must have served as a primitive form of jetpack―”
“Um, Wallace?” Evelyn interrupted, “What about the―”
“Oh yeah,” Wallace remembered, “That green thing.”
Wallace reached into his jumpsuit, and handed the celery-in-the-shoe to Evelyn. She immediately grew excited and took the shoe, and stored it in her backpack.
“Thank you Wallace!!!” cheered Evelyn, “Thank you so very much!!!”
Evelyn scooped up the little garbage lad in her arms, and rapidly whirled in circles with him, all the while laughing. Wallace, elated by the fact that Evelyn was hugging and spinning him, returned the thanks she had given him by placing his nose on her cheek to give her a gentle nuzzle, and he did likewise on her shoulder. Evelyn, amused by this tender gesture, reached out her hand to pat Wallace’s hair, holding him close. After a while, they stopped spinning.
“Ah, that was nice,” sighed Evelyn, smiling, “And for returning the celery, I think I should give you a very special reward.”
Wallace was confused, “Well, what kind of reward could you possibly―”
Before Wallace could even finish speaking, Evelyn closed her eyes, puckered her lips, and leaned towards the garbage boy, placing her lips on his; she had just given him a kiss.
“Whoa!” Wallace floated out of Evelyn’s grip, “Talk about a spark! That felt like ShoppyMart Pop Rocks™ mixing with soda in my mouth.”
Evelyn giggled. “Hey Wallace,” she began, blushing, “I’d like for us to, umm… dance our way back to the Postulate. Lead me with that fire extinguisher.”
“What, this red canister here?” asked Wallace, “Why, I’d be happy to lead you back in such an enjoyable manner!”
Overjoyed by the thought, Wallace activated the fire extinguisher, and flew off towards the Postulate. Evelyn giggled, and chased happily after him.
“This has got to be a dream,” Wallace exclaimed as he glided over the stars.
“This isn’t a dream,” Evelyn began, tapping Wallace’s cheek, “This is bliss.”
The pair then reached the massive cruise-liner, right below the stern, and then Wallace took a dive. Evelyn rose and dipped, following the garbage collector.
“Hey, try this!” Wallace performed a somersault.
Evelyn imitated the stunt, “Whee!” she cheered!
After that, Evelyn took the lead, zooming over to the Postulate’s booster engines. The scout girl elegantly weaved her way through the amethyst-hued flames as if she were a silk ribbon being twirled by a gymnast. Wallace, thought he lacked his dance partner’s graceful technique, still manage to zig-zag through the flames in his own clumsy, cute manner.
Evelyn then rose from the boosters and darted back up towards the bridge. She twirled like a ballroom dancer, stepping on the twinkling stars as she waltzed.
“This is so fun!” Evelyn laughed as Wallace took a hold of her.
“I think I’m living the best day of my life,” Wallace remarked breathlessly.
Inside the Postulate’s observation deck, as all the passengers hovered by on their lazy-boys, Mary-Beth (the woman from the People Mover) remained separate, staring at the view of the cosmos outside the large windows of the wide corridor.
“Ooh, so many stars,” Mary-Beth was awestruck by the beauty of space, “This couldn’t have happened by chance.”
As she gazed at the view, she caught sight of Wallace happily waltzing with Evelyn. “Hey look! It’s ‘what’s his name’!”
Out of the blue, Mary-Beth grabbed another passenger’s chair. The passenger turned out to be John.
“Hey, I know him!” John exclaimed, “That’s um, it’s on the tip of my tongue… Wallace!”
“Yeah,” Mary-Beth remembered.
“Hi Wallace!” the two cheered in unison.
“You guys are literally dancing with the stars!” Mary-Beth exclaimed.
“It’s your buddy John!” cried out John.
As the two cheered, their hands touched. Surprised by the move, the two then turned their heads and met face to face; for this first time in almost one millennium, two people saw each other without the use of a holographic screen.
“Um, hi,” greeted John, confused.
“Uh, hi there,” Mary-Beth returned the greeting, in astonishment.
Outside the ship, Evelyn and Wallace continued to swirl around the Postulate’s bow; a trail of white foam marking their path.
Inside the bridge, Auto Pirate was checking the Postulate systems on the control panel, setting the ship’s clock to nighttime. The fake moon that rose in the simulated sky also displayed a ShoppyMart logo, just like the sun did during the day. However, Captain McCrea was still on his computer, learning about the past.
“Define ‘hoedown’,” McCrea requested.
“Hoedown,” the computer began, “A social gathering at which lively dancing would take place.”
Auto Pirate walked into the room to tell McCrea it was time to go to bed.
“Auto!” exclaimed McCrea with excitement, “Earth is amazing! These are called ‘farms’. Humans would put seeds in the ground, pour water on them, and they would grow food, like pizza.”
“Nighty-night, Captain,” Auto Pirate breathed mechanically.
The lights shut down in McCrea’s room as Auto took the elevator to the bridge. However, he didn’t want to go to sleep as of yet.
“Psst!” McCrea whispered, “Computer, define ‘dancing’.”
“Dancing,” the computer uploaded information, “A series of movements involving two partners, where speed and rhythm match harmoniously with music.”
And right outside the bow, Wallace and Evelyn weaved around each other in another descent down the cruiser. As the scout took another dip towards the bottom of the Postulate, the fire extinguisher ran out of foam. Wallace let it float away into space.
“I think this canister’s been used up,” noted Wallace as he floated into Evelyn’s reach, “Asides from that, this was pure pleasure for me; I am so happy I got to dance around with you.”
Evelyn smiled as Wallace embraced her, “I feel the same way as you do. Now we have to go back.”
Evelyn, with Wallace in her arms, zoomed off towards an entryway in the Postulate. A welder named Bernard Burns, was working on fixing a broken antenna, when he saw the twosome fly through the door, and got locked out.
“Hey, let me in!” Bernard begged, “Bummer!”
I actually listened to “Define Dancing” while writing this… 
Oh, I really need to find the time to get into these forums!
Anyway, I just adore your series so far, especially chapter 13 (how did you know 13 was my favorite number? 
)! Like I said before, it’s cute, clever, and a lot of fun to read!
Also, I couldn’t help but laugh a bit when I caught the “people who cause delays” part in chapter 12. My brothers and sisters were actually watching the movie just before I read it! 
Keep up the good work! 
Wow… I’m just amazed, JustSoWallECrazy. You have truly done one of the best scenes in cinema history justice. I’m really thankful you kept it light-hearted without descending too much into a spoof unlike the other chapters, because this is a crucial turning point for both characters that can’t be made as much fun of as the other scenes, so thanks for respecting the source this time!
Very lovely, I love the way how you had those little actions like the cuddle and the nose-touching in the lead-up to the big moment (much like in the movie). And the dance in space was eloquently described and conjures up the sublime images worthy of the sequence.
The best chapter yet!
Eve: I’m really glad you got to read my story. And no, I didn’t know 13 was your favorite number. Happy to know you like the chapter!
TDIT: That’s exactly why I didn’t want this chapter to be as “spoofy”, because it is an important turning point in the story for Wallace and Evelyn’s relationship, and a very beautiful scene in the original movie that absolutely cannot be mocked. I am very happy that you enjoyed this chapter; I actually had a blast writing it up on MS Word.
Also, I’m glad you enjoyed their little hug. Wallace’s nuzzles were based on WALL•E rubbing his eyes on EVE’s chin and resting his head on her shoulder while being hugged.
And stay tuned. Next chapter may shock you!
I really can’t wait now until your next chapter JSWeC! I like shockers 
In the meantime, your current chapter was a hit! I adored the way you described the movements of Wallace and Evelyn- that hug moment was so touching!:loves: It oozes love, and it will never fail to draw me in. I felt as if I was actually there, gliding effortlessly around the Postulate…
Anyways, keep up your amazing work! I’m glad I’ve come back to such a great story from my 2 weeks absence.
Biggest_Pixar_Fan_Ami: I’m so glad you like it. and you are so right…it just oozes love all over!
And I will be working on the next chapter. I’m actually planning to space out more time before I put up another chapter because I want to see if that will get me more replies. But it will be here soon!
You guys have waited long enough…and here it is! As promised, it will be shocking. However, not as shocking as I originally intended.
Chapter Fourteen: Never Before Seen Footage
“The lido deck is now closing,” announced the computer, “The lido deck is now closing.”
The lights started going out in the Postulate city, and countless hoverchairs that seated passengers hovered away on blue-lit trails on the dark floor. And so the lido deck was cleared of all but two people…two passengers whose suits were blue instead of red, and they were interacting without the need of a holo-screen. Those two would be John and Mary-Beth, who were splashing water at each other with their large, round, flabby feet.
“Hey, stop that,” said John.
“Make me!” laughed Mary-Beth.
A lifeguard caught the two of them, “No splashing! No diving!” he warned them.
“Ah, put a sock in it!” John retorted, pressing a button on his chair’s armrest, activating a powerful water gun.
After the paramedics took the lifeguard to the E.R., Evelyn and Wallace arrived, and they hid themselves behind a towel cart.
“Ok, let me think,” Evelyn told herself, “Maybe, if I can hover swiftly past the Stormtroopers and into the garbage chute, I could deliver the celery to Postulate Superior.”
At that moment, Wallace pressed the play button on his cassette player and “This Is Me” (from Camp Rock) started to play. The song distracted Evelyn.
“Wallace!” Evelyn whispered loudly, “Not now. Maybe later.”
“Oh,” Wallace sighed, looking down, “How ‘bout now?”
“Wallace,” began Evelyn, “I want you to stay here. Don’t move, and don’t let the Stormtroopers catch you. I’ll see you later. Oh… and one more thing; stay hidden, so security doesn’t see you for any reason whatsoever.”
Evelyn grabbed a pile of towels and created a fort around Wallace, “I’ll be back soon,” she reassured him as she stroked his hair again.
The scout girl zoomed up the garbage chute as Wallace continued watching her lovingly.
Up in the bridge, McCrea was playing with a globe and a toy model of the Postulate. He was acting out his fantasy of the ship’s landing on earth.
“Whoosh! Prepare for landing, Shhhhh!” Captain McCrea voiced the landing of the Postulate, “We’re here! Captain we’re here! We couldn’t have done it without you! It’s so beautiful! No, it’s nothing big. It’s not about me, it’s about you people.”
Before he could continue his landing rehearsal, he heard something bursting through the garbage chute; it was Evelyn, his daughter. Straight away, she reached into her backpack and displayed the celery as she saluted him.
“Looking for a vegetable, Captain?” Evelyn greeted with a smile.
McCrea dropped his globe and miniature Postulate. His face turned to surprise, mixed with astonishment, “How?” he asked, “How’d you find it? We could go back home! For the first time! Tell me, what’s it like?”
Evelyn shrugged her shoulders, “Well, daddy, I don’t know exactly how to put it, but―”
“No, don’t tell me,” McCrea told Evelyn, “I’d like to see for myself.”
McCrea grabbed a memory chip from one of his consoles and placed in on the side of Evelyn’s head. A holo-screen shined out of the chip, projecting the scout’s memories of what she saw during her mission on Earth. However, McCrea was less than impressed to learn about the planet’s current condition. His mouth hung open in disbelief as he saw the barren desert, blanketed with trash, and buildings crumbling down.
“Huh?” McCrea was shocked, “That doesn’t look like Earth. Where’s the blue sky? Where’s the grass? Where’s all the PIZZA?!”
Evelyn didn’t know how to explain the situation. She stood there, silent. All of a sudden, the image on the holo-screen switched to a scene from Camp Rock; the one where a group of kids were singing “Hasta La Vista”.
“Hey, I know that song,” McCrea remembered the tune that woke him up earlier that morning.
Captain McCrea started tapping his feet to the tune of the song while he looked at the celery.
“You made it somehow, little guy,” Captain McCrea told the celery.
A leaf fell off the precious vegetable. Desperate, the overweight Captain tried to reattach it. As he attempted the impossible feat, the image on the holo-screen switched to the scene where Mitchie and Shane sung “This is Me”.
“This is real, this is me, I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be,” Evelyn followed Mitchie’s portion of the song, “Gonna let the light shine on me…”
Evelyn stared at the image on the screen, now enticed by it just as Wallace had been back on Earth. She then heard Shane sing the line “You’re the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I’m singing, I need to find you, I gotta find you”, alternating with Mitchie’s lines as they put their hands together.
“Wallace,” Evelyn sighed, interlocking her own hands, “I finally understand. This is what you were trying to tell me all along.”
After the Camp Rock scenes finished playing, the screen switched to a quick shot of Wallace holding the boot with the celery, but suddenly blanked out; with a message saying “Activating Security Camera” (Evelyn had a Bluetooth-like device behind one of her ears, which was a mini-camera that activated when she fell unconscious).
“Evelyn? Evelyn?! EVELYN!!!” the recording started playing what happened after Evelyn fell unconscious. It began with Wallace’s desperation after the scout had fallen on the hard metal floor of the truck. The security camera played out the clips of the week Evelyn was unconscious; the time Wallace spent trying to awaken her. Various scenes played out before her very eyes; things that she would not have known had she not had her camera. She saw clips of Wallace, cold and wet, holding an umbrella and getting struck by lightning. She saw how he tried to jump-start her heart, and how he burned their names into the side of the trash can. She also learned of many beautiful things the little garbage collector had told her during her dormant state.
“Oh Wallace!” Evelyn exclaimed, about to cry, “You did all this for me?! You said these things to me?”
The video continued to play. Now, new clips were playing, this time, with Wallace talking to her.
“Will you wake up?” Wallace continually asked in the clip, “Please wake up, my love. Please wake up.”
“Wallace,” Evelyn sighed again, as she looked at her hands. She closed her eyes and started to tremble; she felt like she was about to cry. She finally understood what love is, and realized that Wallace cared for her more than she could have ever known.
If you thought that was shocking…[spoil]you’re in for a huge surprise in the next chapter[/spoil]. 
For a moment there, I thought the surprise was that Evelyn was Brandon’s daughter! Then I looked back and saw the bits where she said “My father will be proud with my findings” and then the reveal of her last name in her introduction. I’d just like to say that this could be made more obvious to the reader. For example in Chapter 9, Brandon hardly reacts to the fact that his daughter has just returned from a long interstellar voyage, instead referring to her as another “probe”. Maybe a more dramatic reaction (like him greeting her, giving a hug, asking her how she’s been and whether she found the journey comfortable etc.) would’ve made it more obvious and shown his concern for her safety and well-being as her father.
Another thing is not to get bogged down in exposition. Show, not tell. A good example would be the bluetooth that recorded Eve’s perspective when unconscious. Rather than telling this in a ‘reader’s aside’ in parenthesis, this could’ve been revealed earlier on in the story by Wallace asking Eve to explain it, or Wallace discovering the gadget while examining Eve. Again, this could’ve been done through proper planning.
Other than that, I like the part where Wallace asks “How 'bout now?” impatiently, the ‘towel fort’, “Where’s the PIZZA?” and Evelyn’s realization of Wallace’s love for her (a perfect and beautiful mirror of the movie). But uh, where exactly is the shock in this chapter?
Anyway, I can’t wait for your next one, where things should get pretty interesting…
Aww, such a wonderful and sweet chapter! I love Evelyn’s realization and how much she now understands about Wallace <img src=“{SMILIES_PATH}/love2.gif” alt=“:loves:” title="In
Love" />
But, like TDIT said, where’s the shock? This is a parody though, so we’re expecting some moments as we’ve seen the actual movie, except it’s just mirrored slightly (if you know what I mean).
But other than that, I enjoyed reading it, as I always do with your works, so now I’ll be waiting patiently for that “real shocker” in your next chapter!
TDIT: Originally, this chapter was to have another scene, but it got so long as I was editing it, I had to move it to the next chapter. The shocking part in this chapter is actually the shock that Evelyn gets when she realizes Wallace loved her. I apologize for not noting that I had to move some stuff around.
And the Captain’s name in this story is Boris. Brandon was little_chef’s name for the Captain in Psyche OS X. Other than that, I’m happy that you enjoyed it.
Biggest_Pixar_Fan_Ami: I’m very glad you enjoyed this chapter. Like I just told TDIT, I had to move some stuff around, so it didn’t turn out as shocking as I expected. But don’t worry; the real shocker is coming very soon. Evelyn’s realization of the never before seen footage of Wallace is only a warm-up for [spoil]the unseen footage that will appear in the next installment[/spoil].
I agree: such a sweet chapter! But I also agree with TDIT: try not to focus so much on exposition, especially in the more dramatic parts of the story (this chapter included), but keep most of it towards the beginning so the reader knows what’s going on beforehand. Show us what’s going on, and if that’s done well enough we can figure it out.
Also, going along with TDIT’s notion on Evelyn’s and Boris’s relationship: yes, there probably should be something evident of his affection for her as a father, or even his LACK of affection. Point being, it somehow occurred to me that maybe he really does treat her as an average “probe” on a regular basis, and Evelyn is trying to win his attention…!
Sorry, I’m not editing this post as I’m going along, and I honestly got a bit overexcited at the thought ^^;. I’m curious, though, as to whether or not this was your intention…
Other than that, I nearly fell out of my chair at “Where’s the PIZZA?!”, and I’m still laughing…your new sig is priceless!!!
Also, sorry if I’m being a bit overly critical, but I can never help myself and my OCD! XD
D’oh! Mia culpa.
Anyway, yeah, Eve has a good point. If you intended Boris to be uncaring about Evelyn, you can make his ambivalence more obvious (and I think it would be much more interesting than if he actually cared about her). Just a point to take note of, I assume you’re writing the chapters as you post them up.
Very tempted to read that spoiler tag, but I’ll wait in suspense!
Eve and TDIT: Yeah, this was one of my less exciting chapters. 
(things didn’t quite go as planned) However, your criticisms of Evelyn and Boris just inspired me to write a new piece of dialogue! I think I’m going to work on it right now.
And no. I have the whole story written up on my laptop. I’m just editing it a chapter at a time.
Wow! It’s been waaay over a month since I’ve updated this thread. 
And just in time during WALL•E’s premiere weekend on Disney Channel… here’s Chapter Fifteen! This one is going to have the shock that was supposed to appear in the last chapter but was moved here because of editing issues.
Anyhoo, I’ve finally got it done. And after a bit of editing and dialogue-adding, here’s about 3.2 Microsoft Word pages of Star Vacation for you guys to enjoy!
Chapter Fifteen: Revenge of the Steering Wheel
Down on the lido deck, Wallace was sitting on a stack of towels, his hands clasped together, with fingers intertwined. He looked down at his hands, wondering when he’d get to experience the joy of holding hands with Evelyn.
“What is taking her so long?” Wallace asked himself, “I should probably go and see what’s up.”
Having already grown impatient, he climbed out of his towel fort, and snuck past the Stormtroopers and up to the trash chute.
“Good!” Wallace whispered to himself, “The ‘halt monitors’ did not see me. Well, now it’s time to win Evelyn’s heart.”
Wallace slowly climbed up the garbage chute, straight up to the command bridge.
A tram arrived at the lido deck, but it only carried one passenger: Mo the janitor. He seemed extremely frustrated as he scrubbed the floor with his Swiffer Wet-Jet™.
“Oh, you are SO going down, dirty boy!” Mo exclaimed. He then continued to scrub the floor as hard as he could with his mop, when he suddenly caught fresh new tracks that led to the garbage chute. He followed the grimy trail.
“Aha! You can’t hide from me anymore!” Mo screamed. He then pressed a button on his mop to squirt some kind of cleaning liquid on the floor.
Meanwhile, up in the Captain’s suite, Evelyn stood in front of the holo-screen. As she continued to watch the recordings of when she was on Earth in her comatose state, she saw a scene with a clear night sky, glittering with numerous stars. She saw Wallace stroking her hair as he whispered to her, “Those are some beautiful stars. I wish you could see them.”
“Who is that in the video, Eve?” asked McCrea, addressing Evelyn by her nickname.
“That’s Wallace Cooper,” answered Evelyn, “He’s a boy who was all alone on Planet Earth. After our first encounter, he offered me shelter when a sandstorm struck, and it seems that he cared for me after I fell unconscious when he gave me the plant. He is really sweet and caring. He’s a really good kid. And I think I might actually…well…like him.”
“What do you mean ‘like’?” McCrea was dumbfounded by his daughter’s statement.
“Well,” began Evelyn, “I think I’ve found the guy for me. I believe he completes me.”
“You mean to say you’re in love?” McCrea inquired, “That’s wonderful! I was just learning about romantic love from the Encyclopedia Axiomatica. The computer says that it is a very sweet and beautiful thing, when a boy and a girl fall in love. But what matters most is their care and selflessness, not just the fun of hand-holding, hugs, and kisses.”
Evelyn blushed. “It is a very sweet thing indeed,” she agreed, “And by the way, we crewmembers call kisses ‘sparks’.”
McCrea chuckled. “Well, it’s nice to know that my daughter’s fallen in love,” he said, “I’m going to go to the water fountain to give this plant a drink.
The Captain took the celery with him over to a water fountain. He watered the small piece of greenery, and the soil around it.
“There you go,” Captain McCrea reassured the celery, “You were a very thirsty plant, weren’t you. Hope that the water refreshed you a bit—”
McCrea caught sight of the globe on the floor. He then gazed at his window, staring out into the cosmos. He knew, deep in his heart, that the time had come for humanity to return to its long-forgotten home.
“We have to go back,” Captain McCrea sighed, “Auto, come down here!”
Auto Pirate replied on speaker, “Aye-aye, sir…”
Auto came down to the suite; he took notice that Evelyn had retrieved the celery.
“Auto, Evelyn found the celery,” continued McCrea, “Fire up the holo-detector.”
“Not necessary, Captain,” Auto Pirate replied, “You may give it to me.”
“You know what,” McCrea began, “I should do it myself.”
McCrea turned his chair around and headed for the elevator, but Auto Pirate got in the way.
“Sir, I insist you give me the veggie,” Auto Pirate threatened.
“Auto, get out of my way,” McCrea ordered.
“Sir, we cannot go home,” Auto insisted.
“What are you talking about?” the Captain grew suspicious, “Why not?”
“That is classified,” Auto answered in his monotone voice.
And so the Captain and Auto started to argue. As they did, the hologram form of the Postulate’s computer stood trembling on her projector. She grew intensely nervous; she felt like a scared little girl, sitting on a couch in front of a television, and hiding behind a pillow, screaming, “No Auto! Don’t tell him! You’ll ruin everything!”
The Captain had won the argument. Therefore, Auto had to reveal the reason as to why the Postulate could not return. He then walked over to the video screen to search though a data log to find a message sent to him by the Emperor of ShoppyMart. The video read “For Copilot Eye Only”. The Emperor of ShoppyMart appeared on screen, but this time, he was wearing a large, black hooded cloak, and a life vest with an attached gas mask.
“Hey there, Co-pilots,” began the Emperor, in a low, eerie voice “Uh, got some bad news. Operation Cleanup has, uh, well… failed. Wouldn’t you know, rising toxicity levels have made life unsustainable on Earth. Overall, we are going to have to cancel Operation: Return-Home-And-Rebuild-This-Dump-And-Make-It-Nice-And-Welcoming. Henceforth, you all shall be known as, Darth Steering Wheel. Rather than try to fix this problem, it’ll just be easier if everyone remains in space—”
“Unsustainable? Easier?” the Captain grew baffled, “What is this garbage?”
“Emperor, your majesty,” interrupted a ShoppyMart official, “It’s time to go!”
“Ok,” continued the Emperor, “Here’s my final command: Execute Order A113. Do not hesitate, show no mercy, stay the course! Repeat: do not return home. Let’s beat this dump!”
The message blanked out with a “Please Stand By” warning (and a ShoppyMart logo). However, McCrea learned that the message was sent in the year 2110, nearly 700 years ago.
“Hey, that’s nearly a trashy 700 years ago!” exclaimed McCrea, “We can go home now!”
“Orders are: Do not return to Earth,” insisted Darth Steering Wheel.
“That was then, this is now,” continued McCrea, “Things have changed, Auto. I mean, look at the celery—green and growing! It’s living proof he was wrong!”
“Irrelevant, Captain.”
“No! It’s completely relevant! Out there is home—HOME, Auto! And it’s in trouble!”
“On the Postulate, you will survive.”
“I don’t want to survive! I want to LIVE!—LIVE I TELL YA! LIVE!!!”
“We cannot go home!”
After arguing with the co-pilot, McCrea turned to the wall by his bedside, and noticed something strange about the holo-pictures that adorned it. In every single portrait of the previous captains, Auto appeared, but as the years went by, he became more prominent in each picture. The co-pilot had been slowly taking control of the Postulate over all those centuries.
Captain McCrea sighed. “I am the Captain of the Postulate,” he affirmed as he adjusted his hat, “And I say we are going home today!”
An alarm sounded in the suite. Immediately, Grand Moff Gopher arrived up a service elevator.
“Officer, what are you doing here?” Captain McCrea was confused.
“Don’t listen to him,” warned Evelyn, “He played us all. He’s the one who stole the celery from me while I was asleep in the bridge.”
Like a rabid rodent, Grand Moff Gopher tried scaring away McCrea to take the celery away again.
“Do you realize what you are doing?” Evelyn glared at Gopher, “That celery is the key to saving humanity!”
“I am only following the orders of the ShoppyMart Emperor,” Gopher defended his cause, “He ordered Darth Steering Wheel to never return. He hasn’t given any other orders since!”
“But things are different now,” McCrea declared, “Things change, especially after 7 centuries. And by the way, this is MUTINY!”
And so it began; the battle for the celery. It started when Evelyn pointed her blaster at Grand Moff Gopher, ordering him to give her back the celery.
“Evelyn, you are to put this celery straight in the holo-detector,” McCrea commanded her, “Do you understand?”
However, before she could retrieve the celery, Grand Moff Gopher tossed it into the garbage chute. It seemed all hope was lost, until what looked to be the celery floating up towards them appeared.
“It must be a magical celery!” Captain McCrea concluded in his limited mind.
However, the celery wasn’t magical; Wallace caught the vegetable with his head.
“WALLACE!” McCrea and Evelyn exclaimed in unison.
“Hey there Evelyn,” Wallace greeted exuberantly, “I was getting kinda lonely down there, and I was wondering ‘What is taking her so long?’, so I decided to make my way up here to see you and, oh, hi there Captain! What’s all the commotion about?”
“Toss me the celery!” McCrea ordered Wallace.
Unfortunately, Wallace was slow to understand. By the time he realized the celery was on his head, it was too late to toss it to either Evelyn or Captain McCrea, for Darth Steering Wheel got in the way. Wallace immediately stuffed the celery in his shirt.
“Hey, what do you want with the celery?!” Wallace grew suspicious. Before he could figure out what was going on, the menacing Sith Lord drew out his taser, and after setting it to its highest magnitude, he thrust it at the poor garbage collector’s chest, electrocuting him.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Evelyn screamed, “YOU STOP HURTING HIM RIGHT NOW!!!”
Wallace tumbled down the bottomless chute. Evelyn ran straight to the opening, but he had fallen out of reach before she could rescue him.
“And you’re joining him too!” Grand Moff Gopher declared as he took a hold of Evelyn.
“You are confined to your quarters, Captain,” Darth Steering Wheel had placed his own master on lockdown.
Grand Moff Gopher grabbed Evelyn by the patient tag, and tossed her down the garbage chute. He then left the room, and so did Darth Steering Wheel.
“MUTINY!” yelled McCrea, “This is MUTINY!!! MUTINY!!! MUTINY WITH A CAPITAL ‘M’!!!”
Soooooooooo much drama… all in one chapter…
Wow, this is your most dramatic chapter yet! I like Mo’s “You’re so going down!” and Captain McCrea’s “Magical Celery” exclamation! The only thing I wonder about is that is this the same Auto Pirate who has been with the Captains all these centuries? Like, does he have anti-ageing serum or something, or are these different Auto Pirates? I got a little confused, so you have to make this clear to the reader.
Other than that, great chapter. It’s especially chlling considering Auto Pirate and Grand Moph Gopher technically threw Wallace and Eve down the chute to die as human beings.
TDIT: It’s great that you got to read the chapter; I’m so happy right now!
And you just asked a pretty good question. You see, originally, all the robot characters were going to be androids, but then I came up with the idea of making them fully human. This Auto is a descendant of all the other co-pilots before him (they were all named Otto, but to vary from the five generations before him, they spelled his name differently ). They have been all carrying the secret Sith title “Darth Steering Wheel” ever since Order A113 was first issued by Palpatine Forthright. Thus, the former is true.
However, the anti-aging serum idea made me laugh.
I may drop my writing due to college studies. I really need to devote my time to getting good grades. I’m not saying I’ll drop this story, but I might post it less often.
(In fact, I’ve been studying so much, you could probably hear me recite the three conditions for a limit of a function to have continuity and the power rule for differentiating a function to find its derivative. )
And so, here’s the long-awaited Chapter 16!!! (And the title references Star Wars. Yay!
And… here’s a little warning I have for you. If you remember what happened in the last chapter, you know that Wallace was electrocuted by Darth Steering Wheel. In this chapter, there is [spoil]a small mention of blood, but nothing gory[/spoil]. Just a little heads up for sensitive readers.
Chapter Sixteen: “What an Incredible Smell We’ve Discovered…”
“What is this place? And why does it reek of pestilence?!”
Evelyn lay on a pile of trash. She slowly opened her eyes, only to discover that she was in the Postulate’s garbage bay.
“Oh great,” Evelyn mumbled to herself, “Now how am I going to get out of this—hey, why do I feel so funny?”
Evelyn looked down at her body, and discovered rats crawling over her. Her eyes grew wide, and she let out a loud shriek.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaah!!! Get off of me!” Evelyn pushed the pests off her, and then stood up, “Ok, now to find Wallace. Wallace, Wallace? Where are you?”
“Here I am,” a voice called out.
“Wallace!” Evelyn ran over to him, “We have to get out of here, but we don’t know how.”
“I have you now, foreign contaminant!” exclaimed another voice.
Evelyn and Wallace tuned around, and they saw Mo running towards them with his Swiffer™ Wet Jet. It seemed as if he finally had lost it.
“Somebody’s gonna get himself the cleaning of his life! Hahahahahaha!!!” Mo laughed maniacally, “So much foreign contaminant, I shan’t rest until every single microbe of that stuff has been obliterated! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I AM THE MICROBE OBLITERATOR!!!”
Evelyn and Wallace continued staring at the lunatic janitor in absolute shock. Not a single word came out of their mouths during that whole scene.
“I think he’s crazy,” Wallace began, nervously, “He scares me.”
“That is disturbing,” Evelyn added, “Indeed.”
As Mo charged towards Wallace with his mop, a loud clanking metal noise sounded, and all of a sudden, it seemed as if two of the walls were moving.
“I think the walls are closing in on us!” Wallace panicked.
“This must be the garbage masher!” Mo shouted, “We’re gonna be crushed!”
“Ok guys, don’t panic,” began Evelyn, “We’ll find a way out of here. Maybe we can jam the walls so they don’t crush us, and it will slow down the process.”
Mo and Evelyn trudged through the dirty water, pushed aside some trash, and found two giant metal rods. They lifted the rods up and forced them between the walls. Unfortunately, the walls were much stronger, and so the rods began to snap.
“It’s not working!” Mo screamed.
“Is it just me?” began Wallace, trembling, “Or does anyone else get the feeling that there’s a monster swimming in the water?!?”
“There’s no such thing as monsters,” Evelyn answered, “We’re trying to save our skins here.”
Wallace lifted himself up slightly, and picked up what looked to be a cell phone. He pressed a button to turn it on and see if it worked.
“Maybe I can try calling for help,” Wallace looked at the phone, but he had no idea how to dial a number on it.
“How do you work this thing? Maybe I shout into it?” Wallace told himself. He then pressed a talk button on the faded screen of the phone, and tried shouting into it.
“Someone help us! We’re about to be crushed by the walls in the garbage bay!” the garbage boy cried, desperate to get out.
Meanwhile, Mo and Evelyn continued to find metal rods to jam the walls, but it was no use. The walls had closed in so much, there was virtually no escape.
"This is the end!” screamed Mo, “We’re gonna become garbage! I hate germs!”
At that moment, the walls stopped moving. For a few seconds, everything was still, but then the walls began to retract. Two garbage men whose uniforms resembled Wallace’s came out with some flashlights.
“Sorry ‘bout that,” apologized one of the garbage men, “We di’int know there was people here.”
“It’s ok,” began Evelyn. “Thanks for saving our lives.”
Evelyn set Wallace down on a clear spot on the floor. He could hardly move, but he was awake. Mo unzipped Wallace’s jumpsuit, and lifted up his shirt, to see how bad the poor garbage collector had been injured.
“Oh my ShoppyMart,” Evelyn sighed in disbelief, “That taser sure did pack a punch.”
Wallace lay stiffly on the floor, yet he was in so much pain. On his chest was a dark spot, almost like a crater, of burnt skin, dark brown in color, which smelled of electricity. There was also some dark red stains trailing down from the wound; this was dried, scalded blood. Evelyn was in complete shock of how horrible the co-pilot had hurt Wallace. The two garbage men stood over them with their lanterns, providing some light, and they were also in shock.
“What an incredible smell we’ve discovered,” Mo grumbled, referring to the stench of the garbage bay.
“Oh Wallace,” Evelyn began, “I never meant for this to happen to you. I am so sorry.”
Wallace turned up a smile. “It’s ok,” he replied, “You didn’t mean for this to happen at all.”
“Hey Evelyn,” Mo called out, “You might want this.”
Mo pulled out a clean, white cloth from a pocket on his belt, and he got it wet with some water. He then wrung out some of the liquid, and handed it to Evelyn.
“Thanks Mo,” the scout girl answered.
Evelyn gently rubbed the cloth on Wallace’s chest to wash the injury. She then folded it and pressed it against the wound to apply some pressure. Mo slipped a long piece of fabric under Wallace’s back, and Evelyn pulled the other end of it. The two then tied it into a knot to hold the cloth in place to prevent anymore bleeding.
“That should take care of it for now,” Evelyn reassured Wallace, while Mo rolled down the garbage collector’s shirt and zipped up his jumpsuit.
“That co-pilot is mean,” Wallace whispered, “I don’t like him, and I don’t want to see him again.”
“He is mean,” Evelyn agreed, “I promise you, I will not let him near you again. Now, I’m going to go look for some bandages. This guy could keep you company.”
Activating her hover-boots, Evelyn flew off and scavenged the garbage bay to look for bandages for Wallace. Meanwhile, Mo sat there, scrubbing Wallace’s left arm with his mop.
“Hey there,” Wallace struggled to speak, “I’m Wallace. What’s your name?”
Mo grabbed a disinfectant wipe to scrub Wallace’s hand, “Mo,” he answered, shaking the dumpster diver’s hand.
“Mo?” Wallace tried to pronounce it, “Mo. What a short name.”
Evelyn returned with a few boxes of bandages. She hovered down to the ground so Wallace could get a closer look.
“I’ve returned with some first aid,” Evelyn was exhausted, “Here’s some band-aids. Look, I’ve even got some with cute, robotic googly eyes, and they practically have your name on them!”
“Those are not big enough,” began Wallace, but hold onto those; I might add them to my band-aid collection. Only my first-aid kit back home could treat my boo-boo.”
Evelyn knelt down beside Wallace, scratching his hair.
“Sweetie,” began Wallace, weakly, “I’ve got something for you.”
Wallace reached into his shirt and pulled out the potted celery, and he handed it to Evelyn. She stared at it for a moment, then she set it down.
“It means nothing to me now,” Evelyn sighed, “I have a new directive.”
Evelyn held out her hand, waiting for Wallace to reach for her. The garbage collector looked at the soft, delicate hand. He wanted to hold her hand. He longed to hold her hand.
“Come on,” Evelyn smiled, “You know you want to.”
Wallace reached out and put his hand on Evelyn’s, but then gently pushed her aside, declining her offer as he crawled towards the celery. He knew what needed to be done to save his life.
“No Evelyn. This is your directive,” Wallace handed her the celery; “You don’t need to return it to the 1000 lb. captain anymore. You need it to send the Postulate home and save my life.”
Evelyn sat there, contemplating the matter, with Wallace resting on her lap as she patted his messy hair again. She looked at the celery; her mind conflicted with fulfilling her duty to McCrea, the Postulate, and ShoppyMart; and also helping Wallace.
Wallace has a point, Evelyn pondered, If I use the celery to fulfill my directive, I could send the Postulate home, but will I be able to get there in time to treat Wallace’s wounds?
“Evelyn,” Wallace tapped Evelyn on the shoulder, “please think about it. I’m dying.”
Wallace opened a lighter, and handed it to Evelyn. She took the lighter, and stared at it for a moment. Now, holding the flame in one hand and the vegetable in the other, the scout girl made up her mind… and all it took was the memory of the flame back in Wallace’s truck.
“Wallace,” Evelyn began, “with this vegetable, I will get us back home. Just hang in there, and hold onto me.”
Evelyn drew out her blaster and blew a hole in the ceiling. Wallace stood on his knees, and he wrapped his arms firmly around Evelyn’s waist, and Mo grabbed on to Wallace’s shoes. Evelyn took off, hovering up to a garbage chute to make her way back in to the Postulate.
“Hang on!” Evelyn told her friends, “We’re gonna need to evade security once we get there.”
Evelyn found [spoil]WALL•E Bandages[/spoil]…
Just wanted to bump this fanfic so people don’t lose interest in it. I’m kind of having a bit of a writer’s block for now, and I don’t know how to edit Chapter 17 as of yet (I’m even thinking of combining some chapters to make it shorter).
So don’t worry, it’s not dead. The reason I’ve been so bent on finishing this story and not posting others is because I’ve been following a bit of advice my mom gave me: focus on finishing one story first, and then you can move on to other stuff.
I’ll post up the next chapter when I get those creative juices flowing again. Wallace and Evelyn have not disappeared.