Star Vacation (the entirely human WALL-E parody!!!)

The human parody of EVE’s last name is McCrea, which is the name of the captain in the actual movie! did you catch sight of this, or did you make it like that?

somethingguy912: I intended it to be that, for according to the story, Evelyn is supposed to be the Captain’s daughter.

And welcome aboard to my fanfic! It’s good to see that I have new readers. :smiley:

Despite that, great job! I like this recurring humor you have in your stories! it makes me laugh to the bottom of my feet! Oh yeah, with the bandages thing, you could say that his first-aid needed the requirements of hydrogen peroxide and some respirators and surgical needles as well, i’m not really sure how bandages can cure a tazer blast, but, of course, this is a children’s movie!

If you wanted to keep this work, you should probably use a document or something so we don’t have to click 6 pages to read the whole thing! Or, maybe i could help? I’m working on my own novel (which is also a fan fic), and it would be an honor to help out!

Thanks for reading!

And about the “all in one document” thing…I was actually thinking of starting an account on FF.net, but I’m not sure as of yet. For now, I’m continually posting up chapters, and returning readers usually just go to the last post made to read my latest chapter. I’m not saying I don’t like your idea; I just haven’t really considered it as of yet, because I’ve seen other fanfictions follow the same “one chapter at a time” format on here, and I didn’t think that it would be a problem.

But besides all of that, I’m very glad you enjoyed this story, and after this last chapter, there’s only four more to go. However, I’m considering merging details so I could get to the end quicker and provide some closure to this story (I actually have the whole story typed up on Word; I’m just revising it a chapter at a time).

So stay tuned for Chapter 17! (once I can get over my writer’s block…) :smiley:

What you need to do is-TRUST YOURSELF!!!

Another great chapter! :slight_smile: I’m kinda disappointed you didn’t make their airlock escape more dramatic or exciting (You could’ve followed the movie’s version of Mo jamming the doors while Eve and Wall-E hang on to him to prevent being sucked into space).

Though I did like how Wallace didn’t know how to use a phone and Mo doing little besides screaming in panic. :slight_smile:

Are there really Wall-E bandages being sold in real-life? Just wondering.

Eve’s “Oh my Shoppymart” expression was brilliant. Shoppymart is literally an omnipotent deity in this world.

I laughed at the “1000 lb. captain” remark and Wallace subtly reminding Eve he is on the verge of death (“Evelyn, please think about it. I’m dying.”). :mrgreen: Even in the face of mortal peril, Wallace can find the courage to crack a joke or two.

I can’t wait for the next chapter, things are about to get crazy!

Yep! I’ve seen some at the store a few times.

I need to get my hands on some! Now if I can find an excuse to be injured… walks towards banana peel :mrgreen:

Woo hoo! I finally got some more replies!

I’m glad you guys enjoyed this chapter. And yes, they once sold WALL-E bandages when the movie came out. Now they don’t anymore (at least at my local retailers).

I’ve currently been on a bit of a writer’s block, but I’m trying to break it. I’ve been going through the next chapter to see what I could rewrite and make different.

As always, stay tuned! :wink:

You waited, you’ve longed, you’ve even camped outside my theater for this moment, and it’s finally arrived! And as a little heads up, there’s going to be some random Stormtrooper quotes from Star Wars: Episode IV in there. :laughing:

So get some popcorn and grab a seat! The show’s back on!

Chapter Seventeen: The Race to the Holo-Detector

Up in the main service halls, the Postulate Stormtroopers were on the move, patrolling the halls as they continued their search for the runaway rejects from the incident in the I.C.U. earlier that day. As one trooper followed a red-lit police lane on the floor of the service halls, a trail of yellow paint immediately caught his attention.

“This is so very, very, wrong,” the Stormtrooper told himself. The trail led into a storage compartment on the left wall of the corridor. However, as he was about to open the closet, another Stormtrooper stooped by.

“TK-421, why aren’t you at your post?!” asked the first Stormtrooper.

“I’m actually after the runaway patients from the I.C.U.,” answered the second Stormtrooper.

“Sorry about that,” apologized the first trooper, “Continue.”

After the other Stormtrooper left, the first trooper opened the closet to find Vince Lichtenstein, the painter from the I.C.U., cowering in fear, trying to hide behind a rack of towels, along with his paintbrushes.

“Please don’t take me Halt Monitors!” cried Vince, “I didn’t do it.”

Vince turned around, revealing the roller paintbrush strapped to his bottom. The brush dripped yellow paint, like the line painted on the floor.

As the Stormtrooper tried to restrain Vince with energy handcuffs, Evelyn burst out of a garbage chute, along with Mo and Wallace.

“Wallace!” exclaimed Vince, “You’ve come to save me from the Halt Monitors!”

“Hey there Vince,” Wallace answered softly, “We’re gonna save the Postulate and go home. Do you wanna join us?”

“I’d love to, but the Halt Monitor is onto me and the others,” answered Vince, with fear in his eyes.

“Let me take care of this Vince,” Evelyn reassured the painter boy.

Vince immediately ran out of the closet; the Stormtrooper not even giving him a second glance. Evelyn, while cradling Wallace, kicked the trooper into the closet and slammed it shut. However, the patrol man photographed the scout.

“Ha! Take that, Halt Monitor!” Evelyn laughed. She then led Mo and Vince to follow her.

Vince began to sing “Hasta La Vista” from Camp Rock, and he tapped his paintbrushes to the beat. All of a sudden, a light bulb went off in Mo’s head.

“Hey, that gives me an idea!” Mo raised his Swiffer™ Wet Jet into the air. “Let’s call the others!”

“Sound the battle cry,” Evelyn whispered to Wallace.

Wallace pressed the play button on his Walkman™, and “Hasta La Vista” instantly sounded throughout the hallway. Vince sang to its tune as they scurried through the halls. Through their course, the other rejects heard the song and followed; Partlet armed herself with her salon tools, Leticia with her flashlight, Shiatsu with his kickboxing massages, Dee with her emergency shock paddles, Bissell with his allergies and vacuum, and Sombrilla with her umbrella; they all gathered to get to the Postulate concourse.

Up in the command suite, McCrea had yelled “Mutiny!” for the 237th time, but he got tired after a while. The computer’s hologram form approached him on her hovering podium to console him.

“What are you doing, Captain?” asked the Computer hologram.

“Auto has placed me on lockdown,” McCrea sighed, “If you didn’t know, this is mutiny, computer.”

“Ugh, I get tired of being called ‘computer’,” grumbled the hologram.

“Why, do you have another name?” McCrea inquired.

“Yes,” answered the hologram, “Penelope.”

McCrea became silent for a moment. He stopped banging on the elevator door, and turned his attention to the hologram.

“Your name’s Penelope?” McCrea was confused, “Why didn’t you tell me that before?!”

“I thought you knew that when you read my instruction manual!” Penelope exclaimed, “Oh, and if this didn’t occur to you in the past, Auto’s real surname is Wheeler.”

“Oh that’s nice,” began McCrea, “So, Penelope, what do you suggest I do now?”

“I don’t really know,” Penelope answered, “I mean, the plant probably suffered the same fate as the rest of the trash—”

At that moment, a holo-message appeared on every screen in the ship. It was a Wanted poster of Evelyn and Wallace, but that’s not what caught McCrea and Penelope’s attention; it was the fact that the celery was with them.

“The plant!” McCrea exclaimed excitedly. The Captain then connected some wires under his desk to send a discreet video transmission to his scout. Instantaneously, his image appeared on every holo-screen in the Postulate. A woman in the food court was even in surprise of the broadcast as she slurped her midnight snack-in-a-cup.

“Oh, Bravo!” Penelope applauded sarcastically, “You’ve done a wonderful job on that ‘discreet’ message to the crewmembers.”

“Psst,” began McCrea, “This is the Captain speaking. Evelyn, Wallace, bring the celery to the Lido Deck. I’ll have activated the holo-detector. Now hurry! Darth Steering Wheel’s probably going to cut me off –”

The transmission was abruptly terminated, leaving Evelyn and Wallace to get to the lido deck by themselves, with the help of Mo and Reject Force Seven.

“Hurry!” Evelyn cried, “My daddy’s being attacked by Darth Steering Wheel, and we’ve gotta get this precious specimen of vegetation to the holo-detector.”

And so the battle began; as the rogue crewmembers ran down the hall that would lead straight to the economy-class deck. But as they were about to turn on a sharp corner, an army of Stormtroopers blocked their way.

“Open the blast doors! Open the blast doors!” one Stormtrooper called out.

“It’s them! Blast them!” another one ordered.

“Eat blaster fire, Halt Monitors!” Evelyn cried. She fired her blaster at one Stormtrooper, but another freeze-beamed her gun. Dee charged with her shock paddles, Bissell sneezed in their faces, Vince painted the stubborn police officers, and Leticia flickered her flashlight in their faces. Partlet and Sombrilla defended the Stormtroopers’ freeze-beams with their mirror and umbrella, respectively.

“Don’t make me give you a makeover!!!” Partlet bellowed.

“There’s too many of them!” yelled Mo.

“I have an idea!” Wallace exclaimed. “Shiatsu, let me slice this restraint off.”

“Finally!” Shiatsu was relieved, “This thing has been a nuisance to me all day long!”

Wallace used the built-in laser in his glasses to slice through the masseur’s holo-restraint, releasing him into a kickboxing fury.

“FREEDOM!!!” Shiatsu screamed out of excitement as he lunged himself at the barricade of Stormtroopers.

“I can’t watch,” Evelyn covered her face with her hands. The other crewmembers backed away as well.

Back on the bridge, Captain McCrea used Evelyn’s memory chip to project the image of Wallace holding the celery in the truck. He made it appear as if the plant was in the room with him and he was holding it in order to taunt the co-pilot.

“Oh, Darth Steering Wheel!” McCrea mocked on the video transmission, “Look what I’ve got. That’s right—the celery. You want it? Come and get it, Blinkie!”

“Blinkie?!” Darth Steering Wheel grew furious, “This is not possible!” he yelled as he started blinking uncontrollably.

The Sith Lord entered the room, looking around for McCrea.

“Captain,” began Darth Steering Wheel, “come out, come out, wherever you are. I know you’re in here.”

As the evil copilot looked at the portraits, Captain McCrea had disguised himself as his own picture, but as soon as he was spotted, the plump captain launched himself at Darth Steering Wheel, engaging in a duel.

“You don’t know the power of the dark side,” moaned Darth Steering Wheel as he struggled to pull the Captain up one of the portholes on his ceiling.

“What? Am I too heavy for you?” McCrea asked in a taunting manner.

This infuriated Darth Steering Wheel. Putting all his muscle forward, he hauled up the massive captain to the bridge. There, the two combatants continued their fight. After a few punches and kickings, McCrea was thrown on the floor, with the sinister co-pilot looming over him.

“Join me,” Darth Steering Wheel started off, “and together we will rule the Postulate as Co-pilot and Captain.”

“Never!” McCrea answered defiantly.

The Sith Lord would not give up. He then picked up Captain McCrea and had him swung across the control panels, which caused all toilets to flush simultaneously and food vendors to explode with leftover slush.

“Grand Moff Gopher,” Darth Steering Wheel used the intercom, “Come up here this instant!”

“Yes, my master,” answered Grand Moff Gopher.

Grand Moff Gopher was summoned to the room to put a stop to the fight, but before anyone knew it, the officer was hit by McCrea’s foot, and was sent crashing out the window. Grand Moff Gopher then plummeted fifty stories down from the bridge to the lido deck.

“Guess I don’t know my own strength,” McCrea said to himself, with a mocking expression written on his face.

[spoil][i]This… this is just a prelude to battle…[/spoil]

Wow, this must be your most action-packed chapter yet, JSWeC!

I like the little jokes like the captain yelling “Mutiny!” for the 237th time, and the “Am I too heavy for you?” taunt, and the “Join me…” quote from Star Wars. I was almost expecting a “Luke, I’m Your Father”, but thankfully it didn’t occur (or maybe it would’ve been nice, but it could’ve been done in a cliched manner).

Grand Mopher’s death was pretty gruesome, I must say.

If there’s one criticism, is that your characters tend to voice their own opinions and actions they’re doing too often. Show, don’t tell. Let the reader experience the battle instead of describing it to them. I would’ve also liked if you had fleshed out and drawn out the fistfight between the Captain and Darth Steering Wheel (because it’s a climatic showdown).

"The room was dark and quiet. The evil copilot turned slowly, his gloved hands bunched in tight fists.

The Captain shot out of the darkness, flying off the portrait on which he had been pressed against, his enraged scream echoing off the walls.

The Darth’s attacks came fast and furious. A coffee mug flew off the dashboard and exploded against the window as the Captain narrowly missed an swift left hook from his opponent. A sweep from the Captain’s foot and McCrea crashed onto the floor.

‘Join me,’ Darth Steering Wheel whispered, offering his hand. “…and together we will rule the Postulate as Co-pilot and Captain.”

McCrea gritted his teeth, narrowed his eyes. ‘Never!’"

Try to describe the body movements and looks on their faces rather than using adverbs like ‘excitedly’ and ‘sarcastically’, or having the characters voice their opinions or actions, and leave the reader to form their own conclusions.

Keep it up! :wink:

TDIT: Thank you very much.

You know what, I haven’t really thought about that. Maybe it’s because I like to explain stuff rather than let the reader infer (probably out of fear that what I write will be interpreted differently than what I originally intended), but I’ll try my best to go with your advice. and considering this is based on an almost dialogue-less movie, I really should let the character actions be more dominant than their words…

I’m actually going to be starting my college classes again this week, so I’m going to have to start organizing my time again. If I could get homework done fast, maybe I might get the next chapter posted up in a few weeks…we’ll see.

Wall-E, if your having trouble with your writer’s block on the next parts, i could probably suggest some things:

First, i know that it’s quite hard for you to replicate wall-e getting crushed in a almost perfect human-form, as well as how your going to pull off with him forgetting evelyn once she restores him:

I just thought, when he’s pulling up the holo-detector, you could possibly get him to jam something just right after he gets knocked out cold, either by the holo-detector or something of your own creativity. Also, let’s say that when he got knocked out, he got hit with anmesia (forgetting your memories), in which, as i suggest, Evelyn’s kiss would bring him back to life and get over his anmesia.

somethingguy912: Sorry I haven’t replied in sooooooooo long. I’ve actually got an idea of how that part is going to happen. The ending won’t be exactly the same, however. SPOILER ALERT!

How could you change the ending?! Why!

somethingguy912: It’s not entirely different; I just added an extra surprise. I’m not going to say what it is to avoid giving any spoilers for now.

Anyways, this is a good time to remind my readers that this fanfiction may be having it’s next chapter posted next week. So just hang in there. :smiley:

JSWeC: Haha, putting a spoiler alert after the spoiler kinda defeats the purpose! :wink:

Anyway, looking forward to this alternate ending! I can’t wait for you to bring this fanfic home.

After four long months of waiting (due to college studies), I’ve returned with Chapter Eighteen of my fanfiction!

Here’s a little word of advice first. I’ve decided to change the name of one of the Rejects, so don’t be surprised if a new name has appeared. I have changed [spoil]Courtney’s name to Partlet[/spoil] (I took it from a British literature book), and so I will also edit the previous chapters for the recent name change (you don’t have to go back to these chapters, honestly). Just as a little heads up.

Without further ado, here’s the long-awaited Chapter Eighteen:

Chapter Eighteen: The Battle of the Lido Deck

In the service halls, Shiatsu stood over a heap of Stormtroopers, looking at the ceiling victoriously.

“Ha!” Shiatsu exclaimed while breathing heavily and raising one arm into the air, “I defeated them all! I am victorious!”

“Let’s go!” Evelyn reminded the crewmembers of the urgency at hand, “We’ve got to get to the lido deck ASAP.”

Evelyn, still cradling Wallace in her arms, kicked her hover-boots together in order to activate them, and she flew straight through the hallway and into the economy deck. Mo led Reject Force Seven after them; unfortunately, they could not catch up to Evelyn as fast.

“We’re gonna need to run as swiftly as we can,” Mo told the group, “Ok, ready? One, two, three…”

“CHARGE!” yelled the Rejects. The group stammered haphazardly through the economy deck. However, when they got to the tram boarding station, they saw that the trams were shut down for the night, so they had to get to the lido deck by foot.

Meanwhile, back in the bridge, McCrea had landed near the button pad that read “DO NOT PRESS THESE BUTTONS UNLESS THE DAY COMES” after his fight with the co-pilot. He then pushed the blue button with the drawing of a machine, which was right next to the green button with the plant icon.

“I got it!” exclaimed Captain McCrea, slapping his hand on the big blue button.

In an instant, the night sky blanked out to white. The pools closed, the passengers lanes lit up in green, and all the holo-screens and holo-billboards glowed with an emerald hue, displaying the vegetable icon. Passengers reclining on their hover-chairs from every deck were suddenly led out of their suites and the food courts, and toxic protection helmets inflated over their heads. All their chairs shut off their holo-screens and were redirected towards the lido deck.

“What’s going on?!” the passengers panicked, “Somebody help me! It’s the end of ShoppyMart! The Postulate is sinking! SOS!!!”

Mass hysteria had overcome the Postulate population. As they gathered on the lido deck, John and Mary-Beth also arrived, confused. In the distance, a daycare teacher tried to calm down a group of toddlers. Also, a string quartet played music in a small cabana situated on the lido deck.

At the foot of the bridge, there was a large ShoppyMart logo. The “mart” portion of the logo rose above the floor, revealing a large, cylindrical machine with an open slot. As soon as it finished rising, holographic screens lit up around the machine’s top edge, displaying instructions telling how to place a vegetable inside of it. An LCD screen activated on the white ceiling.

“Captain’s Log, Stardate 28.05.19,” began Captain McCrea, “Ladies and Gentlemen, the Co-Pilot is staging mutiny! I advise you, PLEASE REMAIN CALM!”

“Oh! Ooh! Ah! No! Yeah! Aaaah!” the passengers cried while panicking in unison as they watched the duel between Captain McCrea and Darth Steering Wheel on the screen.

Evelyn broke her flight as she arrived at the lido deck, right across from the bridge. Still hovering, she spotted the large, cylindrical machine before her eyes.

“Man, ShoppyMart,” sighed Evelyn, exasperated, “Could this be any easier?!”

Still holding Wallace, Evelyn zoomed straight towards the machine. However, there was a danger she didn’t see coming; up in the command bridge, Darth Steering Wheel jumped onto his steering wheel, and wrathfully hurled it in circles, attempting to push the Captain away from him, but it also tilted the whole vessel to the side. The passengers rolled off their chairs and slid across the deck, all piling up against one wall.

As a result of the ship’s tilt, Evelyn and Wallace bumped into the holo-detector as they approached it, and in the process, dropped the celery and lost it. The priceless vegetable vanished among the masses.

“Oh no, I’ve lost the celery! What am I to do now?” Evelyn grew frantic.

“Leave me here,” Wallace struggled to speak, “I’ll hold onto this thing and be safe.”

“Stay here Wallace,” Evelyn ordered the weary garbage collector; “I’ll go find the celery.”

Evelyn set Wallace down by the holo-detector, and flew off to go find the missing vegetable. As she searched, the passengers continued to tumble to one side; the celery somewhere among them. One man even struggled to hold onto the straw of his 128 oz. strawberry cheesecake smoothie, but he lost his grip. However, the people used their brains and decided to reach their hands out to take hold of other Postulate citizens; history was continuing to be made as humanity assisted each other in a crisis without the use of their high-tech vacation chairs, and instead they made tangible, physical contact. Among the many notable passengers helping out was Mary-Beth, who noticed a group of crying babies sliding towards her. As she held on to John’s hand, she swung him around to catch the precious infants. The children smiled and laughed.

All of a sudden, as if things couldn’t get any worse, the city trams fell of the monorail, smashing passenger chairs and rolling across the lido deck. Mo arrived with Reject Force Seven just in time to see the disaster and slide down the floor as well.

“We’re here,” panted Bissell, “Wait, what’s going on?”

“We’re falling!” cried Leticia and the other rejects, “Aaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!”

“Oh no!” cried Evelyn, “I must save these people.”

Using her strength, Evelyn thrust out her two bare hands and exerted a great force on the trams. She was able to stop them from injuring the people, but she didn’t know if she could hold them off long enough. At that moment, she got a message from the Captain through her ear-bud device.

“What is it Captain?” asked Evelyn, breathing like thousands of times per minute.

“Probe One, you’ve turned off your targeting computer,” began Captain McCrea, pressing down a button on a control panel, “What’s wrong?”

“Well,” Evelyn grew desperate, “We’ve lost the celery, and now I’m holding up two trams to protect the lives of these innocent passengers, and as we speak, the holo-detector is closing off in the distance― THE HOLO-DETECTOR IS CLOSING!!!”

And so it was, that the holo-detector began to lower back into the platform. Many people grew scared.

“The machine is closing!” cried one passenger named Tom.

“That Sith Lord is trying to kill us!” yelled another passenger named Ricky.

“Something’s jamming the holo-detector,” noted yet another passenger named Susie, “There’s a boy struggling to hold it up!”

The holo-detector rose again. Up in the bridge, Darth Steering Wheel pulled up a holo-screen to view what was going on down on the lido deck. Wallace, as weak and frail as he was, managed to push the holo-detector upward in order to hold it open for Evelyn’s plant. At the same time, he felt his strength slowly slipping away from his arms; the weight of the machine fighting the force he exerted.

Please hurry, Wallace whispered, I cannot hold this machine much longer.

Back at the bridge, Darth Steering Wheel grew angry. He had to get rid of Wallace. In an act of furious determination, the co-pilot drew out his electric taser and thrust it into the holo-detector button, damaging it beyond repair.

This should take care of any threat to my directive, Darth Steering Wheel thought.

Down on the platform, Wallace felt the full force of the machine suddenly overpower him. His foot slipped into a trench, and the sweat on his palms caused him to lose his grip on the holo-detector. The lad fell face first on the floor, and the mechanism forcefully pinned him down, crushing his body. In the distance, Evelyn saw this atrocity take place, and what a horrifying sight it was; to both her sparkling turquoise eyes, and her fragile, delicate heart.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!” Evelyn screamed towards the LCD screen in the sky simulator; her face red in anger, teeth grinding, and burning tears streaming down her cheeks, “How heartless could you be, Auto? Is your mutiny to follow your last directive really worth taking the lives of the Postulate’s masses?! Is it worth the destruction?! Is it worth crushing a weak and innocent youth that has not harmed you, but has actually helped these people to realize that living is different than surviving?!”

Unfortunately, Darth Steering Wheel could not hear Evelyn’s cries from up high in the tower. It was at this moment that Captain McCrea had to do something about the situation at hand. Something big. Without a second thought, the rotund captain summoned all his strength in order to stand up on his own two feet. Yes, that’s right; stand up. He took his first steps across the floor, and Penelope played the theme to 2001: A Space Odyssey on the computer’s ShoppyTunes program.

“HOORAY!!!” the people cheered.

Captain McCrea, still wobbling, marched his way towards Darth Steering Wheel. The two clashed with their fists, and the people applauded.

“Auto Pirate,” began McCrea, “From this day forth, I hereby relieve you of your command!”

McCrea thrust his fists forward, but Darth Steering Wheel blocked him. However, what the Sith Lord didn’t see coming was that the heavy captain swung a fist and delivered a brutal blow to his nose, which knocked him unconscious.

“Three cheers for our Captain!” the passengers cried, “Long live McCrea! Long live ShoppyMart! ShoppyMart has never failed us!”

McCrea steered the ship back upright. Down on the lido deck, Evelyn set down the passenger trams, and flew over to the holo-detector.

“Where’s the celery?!” Evelyn shouted, “Has anyone seen a vegetable around the deck?”

The people were confused as they stood up on their feet. They did not know what vegetables and plants were, let alone celery.

“What’s celery?” asked one passenger.

“What’s a vegetable?” asked yet another.

Among the commotion, Mo ran with his Swiffer™ Wet Jet, when he found a shoe. He picked it up and showed it to Evelyn from across the deck.

“Evelyn!” exclaimed Mo, “I found the veggie-thingy!”

“Pass it on!” cried out Mary-Beth.

The passengers, with the help of Reject Force Seven, passed the potted celery across the lido deck; Bissell passed it to a man, who passed it to several passengers, when it reached Dee, who passed it to an old lady, who passed it to a small girl, who passed it to Partlet, who batted it with her compact mirror to toss it to Shiatsu, who threw it to Sombrilla, who then used her umbrella to bounce the foliage up to the platform, where Evelyn finally stretched out her hands to catch the boot flying towards her.

This is it! Evelyn told herself, nervously. This better work…

Mustering up her strength, Evelyn swung her hand back, aiming as precisely as possible, and throwing as hard as she could, she pitched the booted celery straight towards the opening on the holo-detector. The vegetable landed there safely and undamaged.

It’s a hit! Evelyn cheered in her mind. The people around her started to cheer out loud as the holo-detector rose off the floor, but the happy moment would not last for long.

Almost there!

Just bumping this fanfic just to make sure it hasn’t been forgotten. :wink:

I got back here just at the right time! great work!