Rated PG for Violence, Scary Images, and some mild language. I cant think of any other reasons!
Chapter 1:Saved
So, you like stories? So do I! Do you like STRANGE stories. Me, I’m not a fan of them. But its better then nothing. This story is strange. Anyways lets get down to the story. This takes place in April 2012.
I was walking out of The Hobbit. “I liked that! Also they showed a trailer for the sequel!” my friend said. “Yeah, a trailer for Halo too!” I said to him. "Yeah!’ he said. We high fived each other. “Well, I better get home!” my friend said. “Bye!” I shouted to him. I was alone. I was walking along, I passed an alley. Then I was grabbed by the neck by a man with a mask. “Be quiet.” he said. He pushed me to the ground. He pulled out a gun. “Say bye.” he said. I was terrified. I crawled backwards away from the man. Then, he was thrown on the street. Then something was running around him. Then suddnely he screamed in pain.“Wha?” I whispered to myself.Then I realized it was The Incredibles! “Thank you for saving me.” I said to them. “No problem!!” Mr.Incredible said. Then I pulled out a picture of Dash and went up to him. “Can I have your autograph?” I asked Dash. "Sure!"he said. He signed it in lighting sped. I went home. As I was walking toward my door. I heard talking. “Is someone in my room?” I wondered. I opened my door. My toys were talking to each other, and they were alive. “Um, I can explain?” Woody whispered. I fainted.
Hmm, this first chapter seems kinda fast.
Here are my tips.
No need to write the entire story on to one paragraph. Try to find places to break it up like different people quoting or a change of subject or events.
Details, details, and did I mention, details. A story is intresting if a reader becomes activly engaged in the story. A way to do that is details. Describe feelings, setting, events, action, characters, everything. Details create a mental picture for the reader to imagine.
Slow it down. Everything seems rushed. You introduced like 4 events (movie, the attack, the rescue, and the talking toys) all in one. See if you can make it flow because it seems choppy,
Overall, a decent start. You can definetely improve. Good luck.
Also this chapter has a lot of Pixar charters. But this isn’t the only time they appear!
Chapter 2:Strange things.
6 months later
I was in France. Eating at the finest restaurant. I ordered tacos, fries, and a Coke. “This is so good! It sure is fine!” I thought. All my friends laughed. I was going to the bathroom, as I was, I saw the kitchen. Then, I saw something the still freaks me out to this very day. On top of a pan, was a rat, standing on his own legs. “Okay we have a taco!” the mouse shouted. “Uhhh.” I muttered. I ran back to the table and grabbed my jacket. “What is it?” a friend asked. “Lets just get out of here!” I shouted. As I ran out. I saw, outside, a house floating, by balloons! Then an old man looked out the window. He had Grey hair and glasses. Then he shouted “So long boys!” Then he stuck his tongue out making a “Thphhh!” noise. "Umm, that’s not something you see everyday."I said to myself. Then I saw a Barney walking toward me. He was singing “I love you” in French. “Ahhhhh! Run for your lives!” I screamed. Then he walked passed me, and behind him was a small robot. “Oh, its only Wall.E” I said in relief. Wall.E rode toward me and put out his hand. I smiled and shook it.Put behind him were a whole bunch of ants carrying a Pepsi bottle “What the?” I muttered. Then, I saw two cars. They were Lighting and Sally, but they were talking! Then I looked at all the strange things, and fainted.
also I made Chapter 2 before I read your reply.
Chapter 3:Rat
I went back to the restaurant, I wasn’t feeling good. Well, I was okay. I looked up a the blue sky, then I saw The Afiel Tower, it was big and black. Then I turned and looked at the restaurant
La Rataouille It looked like Chiles, but finer. I walked in. The next part is translated in French (I don’t know french in real life) “Hello! Welcome! How may I help you?” the clerk asked. “I’m here to talk to the chief.” I said to him. “Okay then, right this way.” he said I followed The restaurant had brown walls, with black small tables. We walked to the kitchen, it was just like any restaurant kitchen. “Sir, this boy would like to talk to you.” the clerk said. “Okay then.” he said. The Chief had orange hair, and big eyes. (you might know who I’m talking about.)
“So you saw Remy?” the chief asked. “Who?” I asked with a widened eye. “That’s his name. And your toys are alive?” he asked. “Yes, I saw them talking to each other when I walked in my room.” I told him. “I see.” he muttered. “And were having the army track down the old man with the house.” he told me. I felt embarssed. I don’t know why, I just did! “We don’t know about the ants and the cars.” he told me. “Okay then. Thank you.” I said to him “Your welcome.” he replied. I walked out of the kitchen, out of the restaurant, and outside. Then I thought,“Its a strange world.”
Your story almost seems like a dream to me…
quick, confusing, and still rather queer to behold even in real life.
All in all its not bad…but you could use some more time to tell about action or description. That would help your ability to write…
sigh yes I know 
Why were you eating french fries and tacos at a fancy French restaurant?
It’s good but too quick of a read. Needs more feeling, more descriptions, more detail, to help the story develop and for the reader to get into the story more…
So far, you’re off to a good start. I can just tell from reading this that you are new to writing fanfiction. The way your chapters are remind me of my very first fanfic. Especially the fact that they need more detail and are waaaayyyy too short! I`d reccomend lots more description, and maybe even some thoughts. Really helps. Trust me, l know it works.
well, I don’t copy and paste my story, I write it on here. And I’m, well, here is a sneak peak of the next chapter.
I walked along, feeling fine. The sun was setting, the street was really narrow. And there were big green hedges by the sidewalks. And then, I heard a freaky noise that made me startle. “What the heck?” I wondered. Then I looked up and gasped. What I saw was a…
See? Major improvement!
NEW chapter on Saturday!
can’t wait…
that last post was great…much better.
Very well then. I can’t wait. Good luck.
okay here it is
Chapter 4:Bbbbbbbbbuuuuuuuzzzzz (is it chapter 4? I lost count
)
I was walking
We’re no strangers to love
You know the rules and so do I
A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of
You wouldn’t get this from any other guy
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you understand
CHORUS
Never gonna give you up,
Never gonna let you down,
Never gonna run around and desert you,
Never gonna make you cry,
Never gonna say goodbye,
Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you
We’ve known each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
And if you ask me how I’m feeling
Don’t tell me you’re too blind to see
(CHORUS)
CHORUSCHORUS
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)
(Ooh) never gonna give, never gonna give
(give you up)
We’ve known each other for so long
Your heart’s been aching but you’re too shy to say it
Inside we both know what’s been going on
We know the game and we’re gonna play it
I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling
Gotta make you un
Uh. . . I don’t get it. 
its Rick Roll
I don’t think there was a point in doing that annaborjack. I think that was stupid.
Your readers may not take you seriously anymore if you rick roll on your thread.