I have seen a few people make boards for advice, and so I made this for people to do that.
Well, this isn’t for me, but there is this friend of mine who is having some love-troubles. Now she is going to move away in about 2 months. SHe has been in a relationship with my other good friend for a long time. Here is what she wants help with. Her mother has been urging her to break up with my friend, but she doesn’t want to let go. Currently, she is still in a relationship with him, hiding behind her mother’s back. She asks me what to do. She doesn’t want to let go, but she doesn’t want her mother to find out.
Sigh, another love problem. Thought I would see the last of that.
Alright, here’s what my friend told me regarding the problem similar to your issue, TSS.
You’ve got to go with your feelings. It doesn’t really matter what’s stopping you from seeing that person or how long you will be away from him or her, you’ve just got to follow your feelings. To lose someone you love is worse than anything else. That’s why some people are willing to go to great lengths just to be with their ‘beloved one.’
So, my advice is this, have your friend tell her mum that she has broke up with the guy for a while, have your friend meet up with the guy for one last time, promising each other to meet again in the future, when the heat has cooled down - when her mum has let her guard down.
She doesn’t necessary have to lie if she doesn’t want to. She could just ask the guy to come back when she’s grown up and have her own life. If the guy really likes her, then he will wait. If not, your friend is better off without him.
That’s quite a dilemma for your friend, TSS. I’d say that there’s no point her going behind her mother’s back- she should let her mum know that she’s still seeing this guy, and that they have very strong feelings for each other, and that when they do separate, it will be on their terms.
I can see why her mum is trying to separate them now, to save her daughter’s feelings, but if her daughter is mature enough to have a relationship in the first place, then she is also mature enough to end things her own way. Long distance relationships rarely work, but her mum can’t expect her to just turn her feelings off all of a sudden, because it just doesn’t happen like that.
It sounds as though your friend should accept what’s happening, whilst at the same timg making the most of the last couple of months she has with her guy. Doing this behind her mother’s back will just make things worse.
And turning away from your possible fated partner will make it any better? Sure, lying’s bad, but she doesn’t have to lie; she just has to ensure that this golden opportunity is not lost. If this guy is really that great, I don’t think your friend would want to lose him yet.
WBoon- I don’t believe in fate. 
But aside from that, by the sounds of things, surely she will have to leave him sooner or later, as she’s moving away? And telling her mother doesn’t necessarily mean that she can’t see the guy anymore. Perhaps it will even make her mother realise just how much they mean to each other, so she’ll give them more time to sort things out. And if the mother finds out that they’ve been together behind her back, then won’t that make her want her daughter to stop seeing him all the more?
I believe that each person has his or her own beliefs. Even if the mother make attempts in stopping them from seeing each other, the girl can still go against her and see him if she really wants to - when she’s all grown up and is ‘independent,’ of course. I’m always the rebellious child.
But yeah, maybe her mother would be open-minded enough to see their intimation. Hopefully.
I told her just to enjoy the time she has left with him before she moves away. i also said that she shouldn’t wait, and try to see other people, but never forget the impact he has made on her life.
I agree with TSS. Doing it behind her mothers back just reeks bad news.
One of my not-so-close friends (she annoys me, but all of our friends are friends) supposedly “hooked up” with three guys at this guys Bat Mitzvah. I think that, since she only twelve, the guy who told me doesn’t know what “hook up” means to most people. Still, this older girl who knows her and probably sees it that way heard, and now thinks she is a s(**. As much as she annoys me, I don’t want it going around school she “did it” with three guys at twelve. What do I do? What CAN I do?
Guys, I have a really big problem, and I need your help and, if needed, your prayers. I didn’t know whether I should have created a new thread with this issue as this is something bigger than what can be accommodated in an Advice Board. This has been happening throughout my entire life, and it’s still happening today. The last event was not too long ago, either.
Many of you might have recognized this problem by now… I have a very bad temper. Let’s start with my childhood.
Back then, my parents loved me, and I had a great relationship with my parents. Nevertheless, I was a spoiled, stubborn child who only gave my parents problems. Thus, that relationship was ruined, and we were distanced.
Even so, during the start of the 21st century, my parents still smothered me with love. I joined my first message board, called “The Digiport Forums” under the username of “Jimmy Kudo,” with the origin of the name due to apparent reasons. I was quite happy at first, just like how I was here in the beginning. I had many online friends back then, just as I had many real life friends at school.
Then, my awful personality began to seep into my life.
First, I began stealing. I guess I picked it up myself, with the encouragement of some of my other delinquent friends. The situation got worse each time, and I ended up having a Police report. Eventually, I got hold of ten thousand dollars from my parents’ bank account.
It’s not something glorious to be proud about, but I have to let the light in on this one to highlight the reason as to why my parents have distanced me even more - my dad especially.
My parents didn’t call the cops on me - fortunately - but naturally, they were very upset, and I guess, to a certain extent, I was, too. I used the cash to buy all sorts of stuff I wanted - laptop, high class movie tickets, etc. Guess I wasn’t really thinking then.
As to that message board, it didn’t go well, either. Gradually, I began to display my temper towards the fellow members whenever they create a bad remark towards me. Slowly, my friends decreased until I was of no more with the forums. I began switching forums, trying to ‘restart’ everything, trying my best to keep it together and be the best I can be. Nevertheless, it always ended up plunging down in flames.
My temper had chased my real life friends away as well. Sure, they are still quite acquainted with me. They understood my ‘problem,’ and they didn’t mind. Nevertheless, they could have become great friends with me, were it not for my temper.
I had many things to be angry about, and my rage really showed the people that. I guess many can consider me as selfish, but I didn’t really cared. I didn’t really cared about what others thought. There was only myself. And as time passes by, as I became lonelier, that thought grew stronger, and I become more selfish than ever.
Just half an hour ago, I beat my mum. I am not kidding, I hit my mum’s hand, I tried to kick her. Of course, that was when she tried to hit me, she retaliated many times, and the more she did, the more I retaliated as well. This was, of course, not the first time. I have a very strong self-preservation, and at times, I would do anything at all to defend myself. I guess that’s because no one ever defended me strongly. I couldn’t blame them, but I couldn’t accept that as well.
As you can see, this is more than a simple case of anger management. Throughout my life, I have destroyed many things I love. I let my Primary (Elementary) School classmates deceived me into giving them my Gameboy Color and all the respective cartridges under the ignorant thought of just borrowing them. I ran a spam war against The Digiport just so that I could show my wrath against them, ended up having “Jimmy Kudo” as the most hated member ever. The same happened for some other forums as well, including the serebii forums.
Being an avid Detective Conan fan, I should have realized what hatred could do to people, what hatred could do to me. People murdering the people they hate, people committing crimes for their own selfish desires. I knew that, I just chose not to restrict those hatred and desires. It’s so hard. I had so little friends. Many people taunted me and teased me when I was young. I was so lonely. My parents ain’t the most understanding folks, either, so it’s difficult for me to approach anyone at all. Whenever I’m troubled, I would just sit alone by myself at one corner, hoping that the troubles would go away.
Apparently, they never did.
So, yeah, it was more of a matter than ill temper. It is something else. Selfishness contributed by years of hatred and utter cynicism, I guess… How ironic for a Pixar lover to be affiliated with cynicism, huh?
I don’t know what kind of advice you would like WBoon. I applaud you for posting all that though. It must of been rather hard to go that personal. Sitting along to try and let the troubles pass is both a good and bad idea. Sometimes you need the time to yourself to reflect and gather your senses and what not. I would suggest talking to someone as well, like you started doing now. The more you talk about things that bother you, the better you feel. I know that for a fact. I’m one to keep all my feelings inside and after years of that, I was kind of a mess. Then I started talking to my school guidance counselor about things and all the anger, resentment, guilt, sorrow, etc… I kept pent up for years was released and I honesty felt like a new person. The burden was gone and I was free to live life as I wanted. So I think it would be worth a shot for you to really open up to someone and let everything out. I hope this helped somewhat. 
Yeah, I’m not too sure about it myself either. I guess I just wanted to say how messed up my life is and how everytime I screw it up even more by being stubborn, jealous and sensitive. Most of all, tempered. Basically your average sinful human, but that’s just the way I am, so I guess in a way, I kinda got used to this manner of life and never tried to change it drastically, which is where the problem lies.
I guess it’s too complicated and barely understandable, but if anyone is able to understand the source of the problem and can offer a sound piece of advice, I’m all eyes.
Edit:
Oh, I almost forgot. Thanks, Hannahmation, for attempting to help me anyway. 
As Hannahmation said, it’s good that you have let it all out and written it all down on here. This shows that you’re willing to accept advise and to change, which is always a good thing. It does sound as though you need to talk to someone about each individual situation that happens, and figure out why you react in such a way. A lot of people naturally have bad tempers, but there’s obviously something else bad that’s making you react like this.
I’m sorry I can’t be of much help, aside from advising you to talk to someone face-to-face in the hope that understanding your feelings might quell them a bit.
I agree with them. You have realized your problem, and the rest you can only do by yourself. There are tricks you can use to help you control your anger. My advice? Keep a journal. It may sound simple, but it will do WONDERS for your emotions. Next time you get mad and feel like lashing out at someone, write it in the journal instead. That way no one gets hurt and you still get your feelings out.
So the situation is that a rumor is going around about someone who gets on your nerves? Is she aware of this rumor going around?
My suggestion would be to first talk to this person and ask if it really happened or not- see her side of the story. If what the rumor says is untrue, then defend this person. If you come across the one who spread the rumor in the first place, question where he heard it or why he made it up. If people around you mention that she “hooked up” with three guys, tell them that it most definitely isn’t true. After having defended your, as you say, “not-so-close friend”, perhaps she will not be so annoying to you because you did a good thing for her. I hope this was clear and helpful.
I need help and advice now. I am in a situation that is risky.
Here’s what’s going on. I’ve gotten a security virus scanner, and it seemed to work fine blocking out viruses. But now the virus seems too strong for it to be defeated. To make matters worse, my dad told me that the desktop computer is going to crash, losing all the memory, documents, etc. made in the last four years! <img src=“{SMILIES_PATH}/youwhaaa.gif” alt=“o_0;;” title="You
Whaaa…" /> That is a lot of stuff that we can’t stand to lose! And we don’t know if the laptop is going to go through the same thing. (That might also mean unexpected deletion of music videos I’m working on- and the clips I can’t get again! Not to mention stories of mine, maybe even school projects and other important assignments…)
Apparently, the only way to save these files is to download ANOTHER security virus scanner, for $800! I hate this! What should my family and I do? Should we trust that it’s worth $800? Has anyone else gone through this? Is it necessary to pay that much money for that even though we had done that before and it just didn’t work well long enough? Help, please, as soon as possible!!
Well, if all of those files are really important and you can’t afford to loose them, then I would say go on ahead, but try to look for a cheaper one first. If not, go with the 800 dollar one.
The only way is to download another virus scanner? Otherwise I was going to say to transfer the files to a CD or USB drive. But I’m with TSS, if the files are important, it may be worth it to go with the $800 one if you can’t find anything cheaper. If not, that’s four years of files lost.
I don’t know much about this sort of thing, but I will say that I’ve never heard of a virus scanner be so expensive. I’ve seen ones being sold for a few hundred, but $800 is a lot of money. Perhaps you should contact a computer technician? They’ll be able to tell you what the best thing is that you can do, and whether the expensive virus scanner is worth it.
Oh, my sisters desktop had a HORRIBLE virus a little while ago.
They tried all these different ones, but the one that finally worked was called Spyware (I know, I sound like a bad scammer, but its true!)
Also, my guitar teacher suggested something mcaffee.com, and it saves, erases, and then reloads your harddrive, and it’s like $65
Yikes, that sucks! I also haven’t heard of a virus scanner that costs $800…who told you about that? My laptop crashed last year and my roomie “fixed” it - meaning he re-downloaded all the programs on my computer but lost ALL the files 
Sooo I’d take it to a pro and get their opinion, and if $800 scanner is the way to go then…I guess it’s the way to go…
I think I’m repeating what everyone else has said, but I guess we’re all in agreement about what you should do!