Well I caught up in the story, and I like it so far! But i think Syndromes Return is better then this,no offense I love the Pixar Planet reference.
Sorry I’m late, TSS. I’ve been really busy lately, but I’m back now 
. Anyway, good chapter. I think you’ve done an exceptional job with the villains. I’m starting to like them 
. I can’t wait to see what you do with them. But, and I hope you take this in a good way and know that I’m not insulting your creativity, but as TDIT said, I hope they can come up with their own plan instead of just copying Syndrome’s (especially seeing as his didn’t turn out to good 
). But I’m sure you’ll do something with it. I’m sure you have ". . .really big plans.” Sorry… couldn’t resist . But seriously, I trust you, I know you’ll make it good . Besides, you never said they were going to use the Omnidroid. It might have been something else that Morticon was looking at (unless I misunderstood). The content itself was great, and the only obvious grammatical mistakes I found were still pretty minor, like…
“Finally, Morticon, the Commander, and Metamorph finally arrived at Syndrome’s old base.”
The word finally has been repeated. And…
“Inside was an incredibly big and spacious room.”
Big and spacious mean almost the same thing. There’s no need to use both.
But, other than that, it’s great ! Looking forward to your next chapter, TSS 
!
P.S. You think you could tell me, please, which chapter to expect that big Father/Daughter moment you told me about 
TDIT: When I think about it, I am starting to think reusing the Omnidroid again might be redundant. However, it isn’t the big master plan for the big three. It is kinda disheartening that this chapter didn’t strike you as much, but thanks for the review anyways.
As for the promo siggy, I’ll see if I can think of an idea before sending you a PM.
annarborjack: Well, that’s okay that you like my Syndrome’s Return better. But remember, this story isn’t finished yet, and this is part one of a trillogy. So keep reading. Who knows, you might change your mind.
Violet Parr: Well like I said, the Omnidroid isn’t the big master plan. Let me just say that it tehy are setting something up for something ever more sinister. Thanks for the grammar corrections. I’ll correct them now.
I know I may be writing a lot of filler chapters, and this one is definetly no different. But trust me when I say that each chapter leads to something else later in the story. And besides, some of us forget that it is a trilogy. I can’t explain the whole story in a flash, that would be too fast. I need to slowly tell the story and let it be enjoyed.
Chapter 10: Tony and Violet at School
On a bright day at Metroville High School, the students all sat down at tables, benches, or against walls to eat their lunch. Other students made their way to the parking lot and drove away from the campus to eat their lunch somewhere else.
Violet left her math class and made her way to a large tree located outside the theatre. It was about eleven-feet tall. It has bounds of branches and leaves, providing excellent shade on hot days. A blanket of grass surrounded this spot. Not only was it a good place to sit but it was comfortable place to lie down as well. It was also really close to her locker. In case she wished to finish up homework, study for tests, or have a refreshing read, Violet would go over to her locker and retrieve whatever material she needed or desired. Violet’s lunch spot was both convenient and relaxing.
The young girl leaned against the trunk of the tree. She had a turkey and Swiss cheese sandwich in one hand and a book in the other hand. Every page and a half, she would take a bite. As soon as she finished her sandwich, Violet finished her chapter. She closed her book. After placing it in her backpack, a shadow of a person started to approach Violet. She saw the oncoming shadow. She smiled, recognizing the person’s outline. She looked up and beamed at the person.
“Hey Tony!”
“Hey Vi. How has your lunch been so far?”
She beamed. “Pretty good. I had a sandwich and finished the chapter I was supposed to read for tomorrow.”
Tony knelt in front of Violet. His brown eyes looked down at Violet Parr in her bright orange t-shirt, jeans, and flip-flops. Her shining blue eyes met up his.
“I think I know something that can make it better.” he said. “Are you busy this Friday night?”
Violet’s eyes widened. She knew what was coming.
“I don’t think so. Why?” she asked innocently.
“Wanna go to the Metroville Carnival with me? Maybe get something to eat beforehand?”
Violet noticed that Tony was speaking with confidence. He didn’t stumble with his words or draw back on volume. Tony had asked Violet on so many dates. Every time, he would feel more comfortable asking her.
“I would love to Tony.”
The bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Tony leaned into Violet and kissed her on the forehead. “I guess I’ll meet you at your house at six o’ clock. See you later.”
Tony waved to Violet before making his way to his next class. Violet sighed romantically. She felt lighter than air.
“Aww, isn’t that the sweetest thing?” said a voice.
Violet jumped. She got to her feet and turned around. Kari McKeen stepped out from behind the tree.
“Kari, don’t do that to me again.” glared Violet.
Kari giggled. “You two are so cute together.”
“Yeah.” Violet sighed, heading off to her next class.
That’s good! I like it. It was rather short,but good! I’m guessing that when they go to the carnival, robots invade and then,Violet to the rescue!
annarborjack: Hmmm, I could tell you, but I’ll just say that you’re kind of close. But not really.
That was a sweet chapter, TSS ! Really, that was great! Though it might have just been a filler chapter, it worked really well. I was glad to see more of Violet and Tony. Didn’t notice any major mistakes in grammar, so good job !
Might I put in my guess as to what might happen? I think they’re gonna go to the carnival, get caught up in something, one of them will end up kidnapped, and Tony will find out at least something about Violet’s secret identity. But that’s just what I think. Will we find out in the next chapter?
Hmmm,I guess Mr.Incredible calls her or goes to the carnival saying he needs her,Violet is mad,she says bye to Tony,then leaves.
Huh, that is a good one annarborjack . I hadn’t even thought of that.
Well, that was a very good guess Violet Parr. But I’ll say you were close but not totally right. And if you all want to know, you will have to wait until chapter 12. Chapter 11, the next chapter, is going to feature something else.
Hm… this next chapter is an okay for me again, TSS. But I did like how you furthered Violet and Tony’s relationship by explaining that Tony used to feel shy asking Violet out on dates, and is now a lot more confident. To me, that shows character development, one thing I always look out for and enjoy in stories. Characters are meant to change throughout the story, their personalities are not static, and they will come out a different person than from when they first enter the scene. I also liked how you described Violet’s favourite lunch spot, and how you had Kari spy on Tony and Violet’s blossoming romance, heheh, cheeky girl! 
I can’t wait to see how the upcoming carnival outing will play into your story, I sort of how understand what you mean of how each part of the story will pay off eventually.
Thanks for the review TDIT. I know you, you really love action packed chapters. From reading your reviews, the more intense chapters seem to be your favorites. I’m glad you liked it.
You don’t have to, but annarborjack and Violet Parr made predictions for what will happen next. Would you care to make a guess?
Along the lines of the earlier commenters, a crisis will probably unfold at the fairground, and Violet will be called upon to either resolve the situation or save Tony. Or both. And Tony will either start getting wiser about the secret identity of his girlfriend, or even more shockingly, Violet will be forced to reveal her superhero identity in front of him.
Whatever happens, I’m sure you’ll include your usual blend of action-packed sequences and sly humour, TSS.
[Hint]WHy do you all think something bad is going to happen at the carnival? Any one want to guess that she actually might have the perfect date? [/Hint]
Time for a new chapter. I kind of figured that posting Vi’s and Tony’s date after he asked her out in the previous chapter would be too fast. So I thought I would wait until the next chapter to post it. In the mean time, I hope you all would like to know a little big about the Big Three Super Villains of the story.
Chapter 11: The Big Three
Early the next morning, Helen Parr had just left the house to drop Violet and Dash off to school. Bob was in the kitchen, finishing up his breakfast. He had just placed his plate and utensils in the kitchen when the phone started to ring.
“Hello?”
“Hello Bob.” the voice said.
“Hey there Rick. What can I do for you?”
“Bob,” Rick said in a more serious tone, “I need you and Helen to meet me in my office as soon as possible.”
“What is it about?”
”You’ll see.”
Bob first made a phone call to his boss. He told a simple white lie to have a day off. After that, he waited for Helen to come home. After an hour and a half, she entered in. She was surprised to see her husband still at the house.
“Rick called me. He requested to see us.”
“Really? Well, it must be important.” replied Helen. “I wonder what its about.”
Bob said, “I guess we’ll find out soon enough. We better get going.”
//////////\
Bob and Helen Parr entered the National Supers Agency Headquarters. They walked into the large lobby. People were hustling and bustling all over, trying to get their work done. Both Bob and Helen walked up to the front desk. A secretary was typing on a computer when she saw the two.
She looked at the Parr couple, smiled, and greeted in a cheery tone, “Good day to you two. Welcome to the NSA. How may I be of assistance?”
Bob answered, “Rick Dicker has scheduled an appointment with us at eleven o’clock.”
The secretary looked at her calendar, located to the right of her keyboard. She ran her finger down the list of appointments.
“Ah, Mr. and Mrs. Incredible, of course. He is expecting you in his office.”
Bob and Helen thanked the secretary and then made their way to the elevator, located on the far right side of the building. They arrived just as soon as the doors opened. Workers and employees all exited the elevator in chaotic fashion. Finally, once the elevator was empty, Bob, Helen, and a few more NSA workers all made their way in.
Rick’s office was located on the top floor of the NSA HQ. Both Bob and Helen rode the elevator up. They stopped every couple seconds on other floors as people filed out. Finally, only the Parr couple was left. The elevator made its final stop. The doors opened and both Helen and Bob walked into Rick’s office.
Rick’s office was a one-room area. The walls were painted a light shade of gray. A clock hung from one of the walls, the big hand on the 12, the small hand pointed to the 11. The floors were white-tile marble. In the corners of the room, there were two plants resting in clay potteries. Toward the back of the room was a maple desk. Papers and other important documents were neatly scattered on it. In addition, a light stand was placed near the top left corner of his desk. Behind the desk was a large but comfortable business chair. Rick had his suit jacket draped over the chair as he was sitting down diligently, signing his name on a few papers. Behind Rick was a large window; looking out from it, a bird’s eye view of Metroville.
“Ah, Bob and Helen, so nice to see you.”
Rick got out of his desk and made his way toward Bob and Helen. They shook hands before Rick escorted them toward two large, soft, comfortable chairs in front of his desk. Rick then made his way around the desk. He finally sat in his chair, his hands folded on the desk.
“I bet you are wondering why I called you here today.” he said gruffly.
“Let me guess.” Bob leaned forward in his chair about a foot. “This is about the robot invasion that happened a week ago?”
“Well . . . not really.”
Rick took out a silver briefcase from under his desk. He opened it up. He then reached in it and took out schematics of a robot. Bob and Helen took the schematics and scanned it thoroughly.
“Does that picture look familiar to you?” Rick inquired.
“That robot looks just like the ones that attacked Metroville.” answered Helen.
Rick nodded. “After the threat subsided, the scientists and researchers of the NSA collected samples of the robots that were destroyed by the Supers.”
“What about them?” Helen asked.
“Well, the robots are pretty simple for a Super Villain. Their armor is easily penetrable and the artificial intelligence is kind of low. When we took it apart, we couldn’t find anything that would be considered technologically advanced. The robots however only have two considerably dangerous weapons: strength in combat and strength in numbers.”
“Where did it come from? And who sent them?” wondered Bob.
Rick took out another item from the briefcase. It was a picture of a villain from the Glory Days.
“We have confirmed that the robots that attacked Metroville belongs to this man right here. Does he look familiar to you?”
Bob and Helen looked at the picture. Finally, Bob answered, “He looks kind of familiar Rick. I believe Helen and I faced him once or twice back in the day.”
“His name is Morticon.”
Helen looked up. “Morticon? It doesn’t ring a bell Rick.”
“What does Morticon have to do with the robots? Are you saying he’s back?”
Rick stood up. “This is why I called both of you here in my office.” Rick turned and walked toward the window. He looked down at the city of Metroville, watching tiny cars weaving their way through traffic. “Both of you are aware that after the incident with Syndrome, the NSA has installed several security cameras all over the island?”
“Yes, it is part of procedure for security reasons.” answered Bob…”
“Well, while your family was stopping those robots, our surveillance cameras have reported strange activity on Nomanisan. We got some footage to show you two.”
Rick reached into his briefcase and pulled out an LCD screen. He gave it Bob and Helen. The screen displayed Morticon, Metamorph, and The Commander making their way onto the Island and into the jungle. The video was automatically fast-forwarded to inside the Nomanisan base. The video kept following the villains as they made their way through the hallways of the base. The video stopped right before the three entered the room with all of the Omnidroid blueprints, parts, and weapons.
“Was that Morticon?” Helen asked. “And what about the other men?”
“That indeed was Morticon. The first man with him is also a Super. He served the army for about twenty-five years. He went overseas to Japan to help the Americans after Pearl Harbor. According to his commanding officer, the enemy ambushed his team as soon as they arrived in Japan. He was the only survivor. The Japanese took him and tortured him, beat him, and worst of all, used him as a test subject for chemicals and for other scientific experiments. Apparently, the Japanese gave him something that changed his body. He became stronger, bigger, and more aggressive. One day, he was able to break free from captivity. He was so powerful that none of the guards could stop him. He escaped an was never heard from again until today.”
“I don’t understand. He served the United States Army for years. What made him turn bad?” Helen inquired.
“He wanted revenge. He believed his team did not do a good enough job to rescue him. He felt that he was left there to die. Now, he wants to punish every force of good that stands for heroism.”
“Poor guy . . .” sighed Helen.
Rick continued, “The other villain is named Metamorph. You probably guessed it, his powers involve shape-shifting his body into anything or anyone he pleases.”
“That sounds dangerous.”
“I agree with you Bob. But there is one thing you two should know about him. When he morphs into a Super, not only he assumes their physical appearance, but that Super’s powers too.”
“Is he out for revenge too?” Helen inquired.
“Yes, to the Super population though. He blames them for being locked up in the Super Villain Division of the Metroville Prison and wasting his life away.”
“Sounds like a real nutcase.” said Helen.
“Hey Rick, could you share us any information you have with Morticon? Why is Morticon teaming up with The Commander and Metamorpth? And why were they at Nomanisan Island in the first place?” Bob asked.
Rick took out another folder from his briefcase. Inside contained documents about Morticon, including his profile, newspaper clippings of past crimes, some pictures, and records. Rick began to report to the Parrs.
“Morticon: during the Glory Days, was a well-known and unstoppable thief. He did not have any powers, but had a brilliant mind. He was a technological genius. He would bring a powerful weapon or an army of robots to every bank, jewelry store, and museum he went to. The police were no match for his weapons. He even gave Supers a hard time. One day, he was working on a new weapon in his laboratory when . . .”
“ . . . I infiltrated his lab and battled him.” finished Bob. “I remember him now.”
Helen gave her husband a puzzling look. “You fought him before Bob?”
“Only once. When we fought, he tried to grab a firearm of some sort. I threw him into his little project, destroying it instantly. However, the impact resulted in an explosion that nearly killed Morticon. It did mess up his body however. I took him to the hospital right after that. I never heard from him again.”
Rick placed a recently taken photo of Morticon face. The photograph was taken when Morticon infiltrated Nomanisan Island. Half of his face was made of metal.
“The nurses realized that surgery could not fix the damage done to his body, so they had to replace half of his body with metal.” Rick got out of his seat. “The Super Hero Relocation Program passed while he was still recovering. A few days after it passed, he disappeared from the hospital. No one knows how he did it or where he went. It is theorized that he went back to his secret lab, upgrading his body to be more dangerous.”
“Rick, what was he doing on Nomanisan with The Commander and Metamorph?” Bob wondered.
“We don’t know why or how he aligned himself with The Commander or Metamorph. Probably they are all out to seek revenge. The Commander against the heroes of the world, Metamorph against Supers . . .”
“ . . . and Morticon against me . . .” concluded Bob.
“What I’m about to tell you two will be your next long-term mission for both you and your family. Do you accept? If not, I understand. But remember that these villains are very powerful and dangerous. I am really going to need help from America’s finest Super Heroes.”
Bob and Helen looked at each other for about two seconds. Finally, they both looked at Rick and nodded their heads.
“Very well then. According to our footage, Morticon, Metamorph and The Commander left the island with Omnidroid blueprints, schematics, weapons, and armor.”
“What could they want with that? Could they be planning to unleash another Omnidroid?” asked Helen.
“We don’t know.” replied Rick. “But there isn’t anything that we can do right now. For now, we can only wait and find out what their plan really is.”
Bob and Helen got out of their seats, thanked Rick, and made their way out of his office. Both of them didn’t know it, but this mission soon would be one of their most dangerous missions ever assigned to the Incredibles.
This was a pretty good chapter, TSS . Not the best, but it was good. It was a little dragged-out, though. I don’t think it needed that much detail, because there’s not much happening. And it seemed like a bumpy move from the last chapter, to this one. There were also a few parts where the English wasn’t the best. But, other than that, nothing too bad. I hope you take my criticism in the best possible way, though. I don’t wanna come across as a nit-picker.
I did like how you let us in on the villains’ pasts. It was interesting to see why they are the way they are. I think I liked The Commanders story the best, about serving in the army then being captured and used for experiments. That would mess anybody up in the head. I can understand why he made the choices he did (even though it’s no excuse). But it was a good background story.
Anyway, good one, TSS ! I can’t wait to see how Violet’s date turns out .
Ohhh,I liked it! Good one!
annarborjack: Thank you. I’m glad you liked it.
Violet Parr: I accept your criticism humbly. Maybe it was a little too wordy, but I decided to add the detail to give you a more clear image of their history. If you could point out my english errors, I would really appreciate it.
Well, when I went back and looked, it wasn’t so much incorrect English, It was more – what’s the word for it?-- well, it wasn’t so much incorrect as it was uninteresting. It seemed more overdone than anything. Not the parts about the bad guys, just how deep you whet in explaining everything that was happening. That’s what I meant. And the only thing I actually thought was incorrect I misread, so that was my bad. Sorry 
. Again, I don’t mean to insult your creativity in any way. So I hope you take my criticism in the best possible way.
Well, thank you for the clarificaiton and explaination Violet. I appreciate it.