The Incredibles Trilogy: A New Threat

[Violet_Parr]

Cool . I’ll be here!

And, yep, you did keep it balanced in this chapter, and I’d like to see you continue that ! You did a great job, TSS! I can’t wait to see what happens!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Chapter 22: Taken Away

Tony and Kari were asleep in their cell. They were suddenly awoken by a loud gunshot. Both bolted upright, yelped, and hustled to the nearest corner or the cell. Outside of the cell was Metamorph. He had morphed his hand into a handgun.

“RAISE AND SHINE BOYS AND GIRLS!!!”

Metamorph opened the cell doors. He then aimed his handgun at Tony. The petrified teenager cringed in fear. On the other side of the cell, Kari was curled into a ball with tears streaking down her face.

Metamorph grinned sadistically as he turned to Tony. “Say cheese!”

Suddenly he started firing at Tony. Kari screamed in horror. Tony braced for death as bullets whizzed past him as if in slow motion. After the onslaught ceased, he opened his eyes. To his surprise, he was still alive. He looked all around, and then behind him. Bullet holes outlined the wall behind him.

“Ha ha, just kidding. I was just toying with ya.” grinned the evil man in a playful tone. His voice then became more serious. “But this time. . .”

He started firing bullets at Tony again. Tony shielded his face with his arms. Metamorph continued to play with Tony as he projected the bullets around the young man without killing him.

“That’s enough Metamorph.” roared a voice.

Morticon along with four robots arrived. He gave Metamorph a menacing stare.

“Sorry boss. I just wanted to have some fun.”

Morticon sighed. “What the hell am I going to do with you?”

Morticon went inside the cell. He slowly walked toward Kari. She wanted to scream, but was so terrified, she couldn’t move a muscle. Morticon bent down and began to stroke the frightened Kari’s face gently.

“It is okay you two. Metamorph didn’t mean to frighten you.”

Kari sniffled. “Please . . . please let us go. I wanna go home. I don’t want to die.”

Morticon got up to his feet and made his way toward the cell door. He chuckled.

“You two should consider yourselves very fortunate. I’ve just received word that someone has arrived on the island to rescue you.”

Tony looked up, and so did Kari. Her eyes widened. After suffering days of pain and torment, there was finally a small ray of hope shining down upon them.

“Who?” wondered Tony.

“I’m glad you asked. It is both of your favorite Super Hero, or should I say Heroine.”

“Invisigirl?” Kari asked. Morticon nodded.

Both were elated to hear someone come to their rescue, but something still puzzled him.

“But, why her, alone? Why isn’t she with the rest of her family?” Tony questioned. He paused for a moment. “You aren’t going to . . .”

“Unfortunately, yes I am. And I don’t see why not.” replied Morticon. “She is a Super Hero. She made a commitment to protect the citizens of Metroville, the United States, and the world from threats big and small . . . no matter the sacrifice.”

Tony glared at Morticon. “You monster. She’s alone, and she’s only my age! Just leave her alone.”

Morticon smiled. “Oh if you only knew. Don’t worry, you’ll find out soon enough.”

“What are you talking about?” said Tony.

Two robots grabbed Tony by the arms and dragged him toward Morticon.

“You’ll see son. You’ll see.”

Morticon then called The Commander. The big, muscular Super stepped up in front of him.

“You know your orders.” stated Morticon. The Commander grinned and nodded. He walked out of the cell.

Tony was about to say something, but at that instant, he was knocked out could by a fierce blow from Metamorph on the back of the head. A robot picked up the unconscious teenager as he carried him out of the cell. Two more robots grabbed Kari’s arms. Kari struggled to break from their hold. The last thing she saw before everything went black was the foot of a robot whamming into her face.

[Violet_Parr]

Great chapter, TSS ! Very well written. I like how you showed the bad guys true selves and just how evil they really are. I mean, who takes pleasure in torturing a child but a sick, twisted bad guy? It’s a little dark, but it fits them. I’m also glad to see Kari and Tony slowly figuring out their plans. I can’t wait to see what happens with Violet! Might I ask, when will we be getting to some real action between the bad guys and Violet? And are we going to see how Bob and Helen are reacting to their daughter being missing?

Great chapter, TSS! I can’t wait to see what happens next!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

How can I reply to this without trying to spoil too much?

First off, I’m glad you are liking the chapter and the story so far! I’m glad you are really feeling the characters, both Kari and Tony trying to stay alive, and Metamorph, Morticon and The Commander for enjoying their torment.

Now, VIolet is going to get some action in the next chapter but… I’ll leave it at that. Let me say that Violet is trying to find out where Morticon’s base is, but has to convince the Commander to do so… but… things get out of hand…

Well, not really. I mean, it is a good idea to see how Bob and Helen would feel if they found out Violet is missing, but remember a couple of chapters back when Violet turned off her homing device on her SUper Suit? So even if Vi’s parents want to find her, they cant.

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Chapter 23: Invisigirl vs. The Commander

Invisigirl ran for what seemed about an hour. Her legs were throbbing and burning. Her heart was racing as she panted heavily. Finally, she had to stop. She slowed down to a halt as she bent over with her hands on her knees. She breathed rapid breaths as she tried to get oxygen into her body.

“I can’t stop now. I have to keep going.”

Invisigirl’s heart and mind wanted to keep searching for Morticon’s base. But her body was too tired to move. After debating it in her head, she decided to take a two-minute break.

Finally, she was ready to resume her search.

“His base can’t be far. I must be getting close.” Invisigirl said to herself.

“Ah, but so far away.” said a voice.

A startled Invisigirl looked all over the vicinity. “Who’s there?”

Laugher echoed in the jungle. The young Super spun around nervously, trying to find where the voice was coming from.

“I see you Invisigirl. And I sense your fear.”

Invisigirl froze. She assumed a fighting position, ready for anything that might jump out and attack her. Suddenly, a tall, dark figure approached her from behind. He bent down and whispered in her ear.

“Boo. . .”

Invisigirl yelped as she sprung in the air. She turned around and saw a tall and muscular man. He was taller than her dad and his muscles were more defined. Invisigirl’s eyes met his. They were filled with fear, apprehension, and anger.

“Who are you?” she asked.

He replied, “I am The Commander. I am a Super, just like you, and I work for Morticon.”

“I figured that.” said Invisigirl. “Where is his base? Are they safe?”

The Commander chuckled. “Don’t worry about your friends. They are still alive, but you won’t find them in Morticon’s base. He moved them to another area of the Island.”

Invisigirl felt relieved to hear that Tony and Kari were still okay. She then glared at the Commander.

“Where are they?”

The Commander laughed sadistically, licking his lips. “You think I’m going to tell you that easily? Convince me little girl.”

“You’re sick.” answered Invisigirl with a disgusted look on her face. “I don’t have time for this.”

The young heroine turned around and became invisible. She was about to run off when she heard The Commander call her from behind.

“You can search every inch of this island Invisigirl. By the time you find them, it will be too late.”

Invisigirl froze. She turned around, still in her invisibility state.

“Aside from me, Metamorph, and Morticon, no one here knows where your friends are.”

Invisigirl slowly turned around and made her way back to the large Super Villain. If he were right, then she would have no choice but to stick around. There was only one way to find Tony and Kari. Invisigirl stealthily advanced toward The Commander. She was waiting for the right moment.

“If you want to know where they are,” The Commander grinned, “convince me.”

All of the sudden, Invisigirl reappeared a few feet in front of The Commander and unleashed her attack. Since she was about two feet shorter than him, she aimed at his lower body. She kicked at his hip, following with a jump sidekick to his gut. Unfortunately, her blows didn’t make The Commander flinch. He smiled as he opened himself up for Invisigirl to try again.

“That tickled.”

Glaring at The Commander, Invisigirl rushed in with a flurry of punches, aimed at his torso. The Commander grinned as the young Super tried with all of her strength to inflict damage to her opponent. It seemed like she was hitting a rock. Every time her fist or foot connected with his body, she would feel a slight sting. Invisigirl aimed a low kick to The Commander’s knee. The Super Villain caught her leg and weakly shoved her to the ground.

“You are boring me.” joked The Commander.

“Then stop toying with me and tell me where they are!” Invisigirl yelled.

“Aww, don’t tell me you are giving up already.”

Invisigirl rushed in and delivered a swarm of kick to The Commander. He blocked each blow easily. Invisigirl then retreated back a few steps, breathing a little heavily.

“Give up?” The Commander smirked.

Invisigirl looked angrily at him. She then started to analyze for any possible weakness that he might have. Since he was big and strong, just like her father, she would have to think like she was fighting against her dad. Because both Mr. Incredible and The Commander are way stronger than her, her best option would be to slowly outsmart her opponent. However, that might take too long, and time is something that she doesn’t have.

Then it came to her. Invisigirl’s eyes widened as she found a possible way to inflict some damage to The Commander. It didn’t matter if he was strong and powerful like Mr. Incredible, or as fast as her brother Speedster. Normally, all male Supers have one single weak-point that, if hit on the right spot and with enough force, could send even the mightiest Super Hero wailing in pain.

Invisigirl ran up to The Commander at full speed. She would have to unleash another attack first before hitting his weak point. She jumped up and kicked the Commander in the chest, and then she punched his leg. The Commander simply brushed it off and opened himself up for her to attack again. This was Invisigirl’s chance. She rushed in and forced both of her palms to the sensitive organs located below The Commander’s belt. He folded his hands in between his legs and dropped to the floor, hollering in pain.

After about thirty seconds of wailing in agony, he tardily got to his feet and gave Invisigirl a terrifying stare.

“Oh, you shouldn’t have done that little girl! And now, YOU ARE GOING TO SUFFER!!!”

A horrified Invisigirl quickly became invisible. The Commander ran toward the invisible girl and snagged her leg. He lifted her up into the air. The young Super reappeared, dangling in The Commander’s grip. The large villain roared at Invisigirl like a wild grizzly bear. Invisigirl felt like she was staring death in the eye. The Commander then slammed her back on the trunk on a tree then forcefully to the ground, still grasping firmly to her leg. Invisigirl felt a sharp jolt of pain surge all though her back. The Commander then lifted the young Super up and violently slammed Invisigirl’s torso into another tree trunk. The teen Super hollered in pain. The Commander then threw her. Invisigirl whirled past a few trees until she dragged to a stop on the ground.

Invisigirl struggled to get to her feet. She rubbed her ribs to feel if any of them were broken. To her surprise, none of them were. However, her entire body throbbed with pain that it was hard for her to move. She struggled to get to her hands and knees. She winced at the pain she was in. Once she got to her feet, she opened her eyes.

She saw The Commander jumped up into the air in her direction. She tried to hop out of the way but it was too late. The Commander viciously landed on her feet. The young Super hollered in pain. The Commander followed up with an uppercut to the chin. Because he stomped on her feet, the impact knocked her out of her boots and up into the air. Once she reached the peak of her launch, The Commander forcefully sandwiched his large fists between Invisigirl. She grunted as air was forced out of her body. The pain surged all throughout her body. She landed on the ground with a thud.

The Commander grabbed her by her hair and lifted her high above. “I warned you not to make me angry.” he said through gritted teeth. “What’cha going to do now little girl? Huh? Do you want to cry?”

Invisigirl slowly opened her eyes. Though her entire body hurt, she felt rage and adrenaline flowing inside her. She summoned her strength she had in her and spat at the Commander in the eye. Dropping the teenaged Super, the villain screamed, covering his eye.

Invisigirl tried to crawl away, but the pain in her body hindered her from moving a muscle. The Commander rubbed his eye, then made his way towards Invisigirl. He grabbed her and lifted her up off the ground. After punching her face and nearly breaking her nose, he kneed her in the gut. Invisigirl was about to place her hand over her abdomen to ease the throbbing pain, but The Commander tossed her up into the air and thrusted a sidekick to Invisigirl’s stomach. The force sent her hurling through the jungle.

After about 100 feet, she bounced on the dirt as she approached a giant lake. She bounced on the water like a skipping stone. Afterwards, she stopped and sank underwater. She plunged deeper and deeper. Her lungs were burning to be filled with oxygen. Though it hurt her to move, she summoned the strength to swim towards the surface.

Invisigirl surfaced, gasping for air, coughing water out of her mouth, and wiping the water out of her eyes. She then began to slowly dog-paddle towards land. After about five minutes of swimming, Invisigirl felt soft ground. She crawled onto land, exhausted, panting heavily.

Invisigirl laid on the ground. She curled up in a ball with her arms folded over her midsection. Tears were about to come out of her eyes. In her mind, she prayed not only for her friends’ safety, but for someone, anyone, even her parents to come rescue her.

Suddenly, Invisigirl heard footsteps coming in her direction. Invisigirl knew The Commander was coming to finish her off. She tried to move but was too weak. Invisigirl prepared herself for the worst.

When The Commander arrived, he picked Invisigirl up by the hair. He held her up until their eyes met. “You shouldn’t have angered me little Super.”

The Commander waded into the lake. He continued until the water level reached up to his hip. Although it seemed shallow for The Commander, it was pretty deep for a smaller Invisigirl. He then plunged the young Super into the water. He held her under, despite Invisigirl’s struggle to break free. After about fifteen seconds, The Commander lifted her out of the water. Invisigirl gasped and coughed roughly as she spewed water from her mouth.

“Now you die.” he replied menacingly.

The Commander then plunged Invisigirl under the water. This time, he had no intention of bringing her back up. A horrifying expression was placed on his face as he kept the young Super under the water. Invisigirl wanted so much to break out, but she was too weak and too hurt to move a muscle or to put up a force field. Invisigirl had a feeling inside her that she was going to die. Her hope drained along with her oxygen.

Above the surface, The Commander heard a voice in his ear. “That is enough Commander. I order you to cease.”

“But Morticon sir,” he pleaded.

“That is an order. Our plan was to make her suffer to a certain point, and you have already past that point.”

The Commander replied, “As you wish.”

He held Invisigirl underwater for about forty-five seconds. He lifted her out of the water. The second her face broke the surface, Invisigirl gasped for air, coughing extremely hard. The Commander glared at the teenaged heroine.

“This time I’ll let you live. But I guarantee you that you will never leave this island alive.”

The Commander tossed her up into the air and punted her right in the stomach. The blow sent her flying up into the air then plunging down into the water. She sank to the bottom. Invisigirl clenched her stomach as she kicked her way towards the surface. After breaking the water’s surface and filling her lungs with air, she felt something pull her. Invisigirl saw that a current rushed her out of the lake and down the river. She bobbed up and down as the river carried her through the jungle. A few minutes later, Invisigirl saw that the river was rushing her to a waterfall. Invisigirl gasped in horror. She shut her eyes, bracing herself for the fall and death.

“Violet! Hang on!” a voice called.

Invisigirl heard the voice. Recognizing the voice, tears came to her eyes as she whispered, “Mom.”

She felt something grabbing her shoulders and pulled her out of the river before the approached the waterfall. Invisigirl saw and heard her mother’s stretchy arms. At that moment, Invisigirl felt safe.

She was set on the soft ground. Invisigirl coughed water out of her lungs. She looked up, ready to see the face of her mother. Invisigirl’s eyes widened in horror. At that moment, the person who lifted her out of the water began to transform into a man.

[Violet_Parr]

First off, thanks for answering my questions before. And second, that was a freaking awesome chapter ! I loved the action! The fight with The Commander was very intense. And I especially liked how Violet fought back at the Commander . There were only two small grammar mistakes I caught…

Suddenly, a talk, dark figure approached her from behind.

Did you mean tall?

“You sick.”

I’m not sure about this one. Did you mean “You’re sick,”?

Other than that, you did very well with the English. I loved how you progressed it as well, from when they started fighting and it wasn’t that serious, to after she ticked him off and the fight got serious. The only thing that felt a little awkward was when Violet was analyzing her attack. Don’t get me wrong, I liked that you showed how she likes to outsmart her opponents, but it seemed a little long. Maybe if it were just a little shorter, because she would be thinking at top speed.

I really liked the fight and Invisigirl’s attitude here. I loved it when she spat in his face. I always pictured her doing that to a villain. I’m really blown away by the evilness of the villains in this story. It’s much darker than in any of your previous fanfics. It’s a little strong, but it captures the darkness of villains. This is also written very well, easy to understand for the most part, captivating to read, and engaging, especially in the fight scenes. I really got sucked into this one!

The ending really caught me off guard! I actually thought here mom was there! But then I started thinking about what you said, about how she turned off the homing device in her suit and they couldn’t find her if hey wanted to. Then it made sense, at the end, when you hinted at Metamorph having morphed into her mother. What I loved about this is, as I was reading, I felt my emotions going up and down with Violet. I was worried when she was about to fall, I was relieved when I though her Mom was there, and I was surprised and a little scared when I saw Metamorph. So great job with expressing the emotions and writing it so well that I got engaged in it!

Great chapter, TSS ! You got me sitting on the edge of my seat waiting to see what happens!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

I’m glad you enjoyed this chapter VIolet Parr. I’m glad you felt the intensity and emotions of the characters and the situation. I’m not sure if this is your favorite fight scene. or if I’ve written better, but I’m glad you really caught on to this.

And thanks for pointing out the errors. i’ll correct them as soon as I finish this post.

I didn’t intend for Violet trying to find a weak spot to be long. I guess because that little paragraph that explained Violet trying to outsmart her opponents and trying to find a target was probably too long, resulting it sounding like she is taking a long time analyzing her opponent.

I wanted to show that evn though Violet is on the ropes, she’s gonna fight back and do anything she can to find out where her friends are. And I’m glad that you really think that the villains in this story are really dark and evil. I’m glad that it wasn’t too strong or cliche.

I’m glad you really liked the twist! I’m glad you kinda caught it and figured it out in the end.

I would like to ask for a suggestion from you though. I have about 3 chapters left in this story, but I think that I can combine two of those chapters into one. I would like to know your opinion. PM me if you want me to give you the details/spoilers so you can help me make a decision.

I’m glad you like this story and this chapter. Check back next week for the next update.

[Al-Bob]

Oh man, that chapter was gripping (not a joke)…very suspenceful and full of action. The ending was also really good and kept me wanting more…great job on the storyline and pace, it felt really good.

I can’t wait to see the next chapter.

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Thank you for your review Al-Bob. I’m glad you’ve enjoyed reading it.

Off-topic: Congrats on your 3000th post my friend!!!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Thanks to Violet Parr’s advice, I decided to combine two of my last three chapters for part one of my TI Trilogy. This might mean a little more reading, but I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 24: Sacrifice

When Metamorph finished his transformation, he grinned at the beaten girl.

“Surprise, surprise!”

Invisigirl felt her heart and hope shatter inside of her. She began to cry

“Awww, I’m sorry for the sudden change.” said Metamorph. “But allow me to make it up to you. I brought you a present.”

He turned around. From behind a tall tree, Morticon came walking out. He had a motionless Tony draped over his right shoulder and was carrying an unconscious Kari in his left arm. He stopped about twenty feet away from Invisigirl. He dropped both teens on to the ground. They landed with a hard “thud”.

At that moment, both Kari and Tony began to regain consciousness. Both felt very weak and could barely move. They opened their eyes and saw a mutilated Invisigirl on the ground. Her eye met theirs.

“Oh my God, Invisigirl!” Kari gasped softly.

Tony turned his head toward Morticon. “What did you do to her?”

“Oh I just ordered one of my men to . . . take care of her for the moment.” Morticon chuckled. “Think of it this way: he did exactly what we did to you and your friend last night, but ten times worst and more painful.”

“You sick…” growled Tony. “How could you do this to her?”

“Clearly you don’t know this girl as much as you should. You think she is just a Super Hero, your favorite Super Hero I might add.” said Morticon, walking toward Invisigirl, who was struggling to get to her hands and knees. “But there is more to her behind the mask and under the tights. Deep down inside, she is just a sorry . . . pathetic . . . miserable excuse for a Super.”

With that said, Morticon punted Invisigirl right in the stomach. She let out a loud yell as she dropped back on to the ground, clutching her midsection. She grunted and panted heavily. She grimaced in pain as she looked at Morticon, tears in her eyes. He glared right back at her. Suddenly, he spat right on her face. Invisigirl winced as the spitball hit her cheek and down on to the ground.

Morticon walked back to Tony and Kari. “What do you think of your favorite Super Hero now?” he asked them.

Morticon then ordered Invisigirl to get on her feet. Invisigirl felt so much pain, she could not move. She just laid on the ground.

“Did you not hear me Invisigirl, I said, “Get up”.”

Invisigirl tried to get to her hands and knees again. It took her a minute, but she was able to do so. However, as soon as she pushed her hand off of the ground, she fell back down, wailing and whimpering in agony.

“I SAID GET UP!!!” Morticon roared.

Invisigirl wanted to but could not. She stretched her right arm toward her friends, reaching out for them.

Morticon nodded. “Very well then. It’s your loss.”

Morticon turned toward Metamorph, who in turn, grinned at him. He went over to Kari and grabbed her by the hair. She dragged her toward Invisigirl until they were about five feet away from each other. Metamorph then wrapped his right arm around Kari’s neck. It wasn’t enough to choke her, but enough to prevent her from escaping. With his left hand, he transformed his hand into a handgun and aimed it at Kari’s temple.

Tony gasp, “NO! Stop! Please don’t do this!” he tried to struggle but Morticon held him tight. “KARI!!!”

Kari was horrified, but she could not scream for help. Tears shed from her eyes.

At that moment, Violet’s nightmare from the night earlier flashed back into her head. Near the end of the dream, her friends were seconds away from execution. She did not plan on seeing her nightmare become a reality.

“NOOOOOOO!!!” yelled Invisigirl.

She reached out and forced a force field around Metamorph’s handgun hand before he discharged his weapon. Metamorph reverted his hand back to normal and leered at Invisigirl.

The young Super got to her hands and knees, one arm still folded across her stomach.

“Please . . . don’t hurt them. I’ll do anything . . . anything . . . just let them go.” Invisigirl pleaded.

She pushed her self on to one knee. With all of her will, she pushed herself off of the ground and stood up. Her watery eyes met up with Morticon’s.

“Anything Invisigirl?” He inquired. Invisigirl did not nod, but her eyes told him, “yes”. “Very well then. Take off your mask and reveal yourself.”

Invisigirl closed her eyes in defeat. She realized that she had no other option. She slowly lifted her hand toward her face.

“Don’t do it Invisigirl!!!” called Tony.

“I’m sorry you two… I’m sorry.”

Invisigirl looked at Tony, then at Kari. Kari’s eyes told her that she wanted to live, but not if it was going to cost her identity. The young heroine closed her eyes, and then took her mask off. A curtain of hair fell in front of her face. She then brushed her hair back, looking up at Tony and Kari.

“Violet?!?!?!” both gasped

Tony and Kari with eyes wide open looked at Violet. Questions swirled in their minds but no words came out of their mouths. Violet was speechless as well. She wanted to explain to them everything, but couldn’t. She did not know what to say or what to do. Her greatest secret had finally been revealed to her closest companions.

”Vi . . . wha . . .how . . .I don’t . . .” stammered Tony.

“I . . . I’m . . .” Violet stuttered.

While searching for the words, Violet heard footsteps from behind her. The steps grew louder as a dark shadow came over her. She didn’t have to turn around to see who it was. It was The Commander. He clasped his fists together and hammered the young girl in the back, sending her back to the ground. Violet coughed and cried in pain.

“Ah, The Commander, just in time. So nice of you to join us.”

The Commander grinned, then picked up Violet. He held her in a standing position. Violet looked up at Kari and Tony. Kari had her hand covering her mouth and was trying to fight back the tears. Tony could no longer hold the anger boiling inside him. He popped up from the ground and was about to rush over to The Commander until Metamorph restrained him.

“Let me go! Let me go!” he called. “Violet! VIOLET!!!”

Metamorph viciously threw Tony to the ground. He then transformed his arm into a cannon and aimed it at the young boy. Before he could fire, Morticon stopped him.

“That’s enough Metamorph!”

Metamorph looked back at him. He reluctantly reverted his cannon back to an arm. Meanwhile, Morticon slowly walked toward Violet. She turned her head away. Morticon gently tilted her head up until her eyes were meeting his.

“Please . . . just leave her alone.” Kari pleaded from behind. “Don’t hurt her anymore. No more.”

Morticon laughed. “It’s funny. Your favorite Super Hero happens to be your closest friend. How does it feel to be so hopeless, so powerless, and your only hero slowly has her hope and loved ones taken away?” Morticon leaned to Violet. “ It must really hurt, doesn’t it?”

Violet felt broken inside. She never felt so defeated in her whole life. She saw Morticon then walked over to Metamorph. “It is time.”

Metamorph nodded and put on a sadistic smile, eyeing Violet. He then transformed both of his arms. Violet saw that his arms looked really familiar. It took her a minute to figure it out. It looked just like her mother Elastigirl’s arms. The top part of his sleeve was red with black gloves.

Metamorph stretched both of his arms and grabbed Tony in one hand and Kari in the other. He lifted them both up into the air. Violet gasped as he saw Metamorph hoisted her friends off of the ledge, dangling above the ocean below. Tony and Kari screamed for help.

Violet yelled, “Hey, wait, don’t! We had a deal! I took off my mask! Now, let them go!”

“You’re right, we did have a deal.” Morticon grinned. “Metamorph, let them go.”

Metamorph chuckled and was about to release them when Violet called out, “NO!”

Tony and Kari cried for help. Metamorph took pleasure hearing their pleas. The Commander carried Violet to the edge of the ledge, right next to Morticon. She looked at him with teary, pitiful eyes.

“Please, don’t drop them.” she quietly implored.

“You know Invisigirl, or Violet Parr, no matter how strong you think you are, you and every other Super Hero in this world share the same weakness: sacrifice. You give up free time with your friends, cancel dates, and suffer in school just to ensure the safety of the civilians of Metroville. You are willing to have yourself completely destroyed to save your friends; it is a noble price to pay for now, but definitely costly in the long run. For instance, your family would be devastated, and we would have one less Super protecting the world.”

While Morticon continued his monologue, Violet tried to come up with a plan to save Tony and Kari. However, it all seemed so impossible. Metamorph held Tony and Kari out too far away, and she wasn’t able to break The Commander’s grasp on her anytime soon. She had no choice but to listen to Morticon’s speech.

“Do you want to know the worst part of being a hero? It is when you are forced to make the hardest decision of your life. This cliff is between 500-600 feet above the ocean. It is a little shorter than the Golden Gate Bridge, but tall enough that when a body drops from this height, bones would shatter upon impact.”

Violet gasped. She had an idea of Morticon’s next move. “But . . . you said you’d let them go.” She cried.

“Oh I did Invisigirl. And I will too.” sniggered Morticon.

“No . . . please don’t do this . . .” Violet prayed, tears in her eyes.

Morticon said, “I’m sorry Invisigirl. But a deal is a deal. Now you do have one choice to make. Who will you save? Will you save your best friend?”

Violet looked at Kari. She was screaming for help at the top of her lungs, her legs dangling high above the water.

“Or will you save your boyfriend?”

Violet then turned her head toward Tony. He was looking at Kari, then at Violet. He didn’t yell or scream, but his eyes indicated he was terrified for his life.

“Not a situation a hero would like to find himself or herself in huh?” grinned Morticon. “Well, with The Commander doing serious work on you, you should barely be able to put up a force field to save one. I highly doubt you can save both at the same time, let alone yourself as well.”

“DON’T DO IT!!! PLEASE!!!” pleaded Violet at the top of her lungs.

Morticon responded, “I’m sorry Invisigirl. But this is reality. You Supers try to save everyone but end up saving no one. The reality is that you, or your friends are going to die, and you are the only one that has the power to give them a chance to live.”

The Commander held Invisigirl up into the air, while bringing his right leg back at the same time.

“The choice is yours Ms. Parr. It will be over before you know it.”

The Commander dropped Invisigirl, and then punted his right foot into her stomach, kicking her off toward Kari and Tony. She was launched about 20 feet higher than her two friends. Before gravity pulled her down, Morticon nodded at Metamorph, who then tossed Tony and Kari. Both were launched up in the air before plummeting down to the ocean. Both hollered at the top of their lungs.

Violet began gravitating down below. Her stomach ached. She wanted to ease the pain, but knew she had to save her friends. She placed her arms close to her body and her feet together. She then zoomed down like a missile. Finally, Tony and Kari were on either side of her.

“Violet! Help me!!!” Kari shouted.

Violet looked at Kari, then at Tony. After that she looked down. The ocean was approaching closer and closer. She then formed a force field around Kari with her right hand. Violet then turned her head toward Tony. She tried to form another force field, but nothing came out of her left hand.

“Come on . . . come on . . . please . . .” pleaded Violet.

She had been training and perfecting her powers ever since the Super Hero Relocation Act was lifted. She had been able to create very strong force fields in various sizes and shapes. However, she had never in her entire life created two force fields at the same time. In addition, creating a strong force field, or even more than one force field, would require a lot of energy and extreme focus.

Thanks to The Commander, her body surged with more pain than energy. Her mind had a number of stressors that prevented her from focusing: the current situation she is in right now, the traumatizing beating she received, and time when she revealed her secret identity to her two best friends.

Invisigirl cleared her mind for one second and tried to form another force field. A purple orb surrounded Tony. Violet smiled weakly. Both of her friends were now protected.

“Violet! No! What are you doing!?” Kari gasped.

“Don’t worry. Everything is going to be alright.” said Violet, faintly smiling.

“No, Violet!” whispered Tony. “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

At last, the three hit the water. The force field hit the water. The force field encapsulating Tony and Kari disappeared upon contact. The force however sent the two rebounding up into the air. They then plummeted into the water from a much safer height. Violet wasn’t so lucky. She flopped into the ocean chest first with a loud “SMACK”. She then sunk down. Everything in her sight was slowly becoming darker the deeper she sank.

Morticon, The Commander, and Metamorph all looked down below, grinning. Metamorph started to laugh. The Commander joined him. Morticon turned around and walked away back toward his base. The Commander and Metamorph followed after him.

[Violet_Parr]

I loved it, TSS ! I love it, love it, LOVE IT! That was so incredibly AWESOME! First of all, I think it’s very nice put together. Well done merging. And Thanks for mentioning me .

I loved the whole thing with the villains. How deceptive they were-- very much like a comic book villain. They always find ways around their promises. I was sad to see Violet have to reveal herself, but I was glad Tony and Kari got to know. However, I’m a bit confused. [spoil]Didn’t Tony find out in your V-V stories? Did something happen to make him forget?[/spoil] But that’s just a technicality.

There’s only one grammar mistake I can recall…

“You sick…” growled Tony. “How could you do this to her?"

I think you might’ve meant “You’re sick,” but I’m not sure. Just a small thing. No big deal.

I liked the irony of Morticon spiting back at Violet, as she had done to the Commander earlier. I also liked the reference back to her nightmare. Really reminding me of the references made in the movie.

Giving Violet an ultimatum-- very evil. The bad guys are coming into their own, trying to turn a hero into a murderer (in a way). But I was glad to see Violet summon enough strength to save them both, giving up herself. Reminds me of somthing I just read in my devotional: The greatest gift anyone can give is to lay down their life for another. And that shows Violet to be a true hero. I hope she’ll be okay.

Excellent dialog, BTW. I really loved all the speech. It feels very real. And this chapter was written very well in general. Very engaging. I was very impressed with everything in this chapter. I’d go on, but I really did love everything in this one!

You did a great job, TSS ! I can’t wait for the next chapter!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Violet Parr:

I’m glad you loved it. I could tell, you said it about 5 times already. And thank you for your suggestion about merging the chapters together.

I’m happy that you loved the Villains too. I noticed that vilains rarely keep their promises. So I decided to reflect that. And this isn’t the first story I wrote where Violet revealed her identity to her friends. To answer your question in the spoiler tags, [spoil]Tony did not know the identity of Violet. This story and my V-V stories are different stories. One isn’t a continuation of the other.[/spoil]

That little mistake you think I did isn’t a mistake. I wanted Tony to say “You sick son of a …” (enter a curse word). But he couldn’t finish his sentence.

I wasn’t sure if I was trying to aim for irony, but I Morticon spiting on Vi was to show how dispicable he was and to show that he has complete power over Violet. I’m glad you liked the references too.

I allowed Violet to sacrifice herself to end wuith an ultimate twist to the story. And who knows if Violet survived? We’ll see. Keep checking for updates.

Thanks for your review VIolet Parr. I’m glad you enjoyed it.

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Here it is everyone, the last chapter to part one of my TI Trilogy. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 25: A Heroic Tragedy

Tony surfaced for air. Kari popped up out of the water right next to him. After coughing water out of their lungs, they wiped the water from their eyes. Tony looked all around him.

“Where’s Violet?” Tony asked.

Kari looked to her left, and then jerked her head to the right. She looked back at Tony with a terrified expression on her face.

“Oh my God, Violet!” gasped Tony.

Tony took in a deep breath before diving back underwater. Kari followed after him. Both looked all around for Violet, but they had difficulty searching underwater. Everything seemed dark and invisible. Suddenly, something caught Kari’s eye from under her. It was a white blinking dot. Kari could also see that the dot was flashing from the chest of a shadowy corpse. Kari knew that it was Violet. She tapped Tony on the arm and pointed at the blinking light. Tony and Kari swam farther down until they reached Violet’s body. Tony grabbed her from under the arms and swam back to the surface. It was hard for him because Violet’s body felt like a dead weight. This was because Violet had no air in her lungs.

Finally, Tony, Kari, and Violet reached the surface. Tony and Kari swam as hard as they could to the beach. Tony struggled to keep Violet’s body above water. It took a long five minutes, but they finally reached shore. Tony dragged Violet on to the sand. Kari followed after him. Both were drenched. Their clothes felt a little heavier, and they were both incredibly exhausted. In addition, both were extremely worried and frightened with Violet’s condition. Kari rushed to her side.

“Come on Tony! I need your help!”

Kari placed both of her hands on Violet’s chest. Tony gasped and tackled her to the ground.

“Tony, what was that for?”

“What do you think you are doing?” snapped Tony.

“Violet probably has got water in her lungs. We have to do CPR to put oxygen back in her system.” replied Kari. She was becoming more and more frightened with each passing second.

“She landed on her chest Kari. She could’ve broken her ribs. If you do CPR on her, you could puncture her lungs.”

“So what do we do?” Kari panicked. Tears were forming in her eyes.

“I . . . don’t . . .” Tony murmured. He too was horrified.

“HELP!!! SOME BODY HELP!!! ANYONE!!!” called Kari.

She grabbed Violet’s hand and held it tightly, wishing with all of her heart for her best friend to wake up. Tony lifted Violet’s head up on to his legs. He began to sob, tears falling down from his eyes on to her face.

“Violet . . . please wake up.” cried Tony. “Please . . . you can’t . . . die . . .”

TO BE CONTINUED

[Violet_Parr]

Oh my gosh, TSS! That was incredible! I can’t wait to see what happens. I was wondering how you were gonna end it in one chapter. This was a very good way to end it.

And thanks for answering my question before. So you mean it’s like [spoil]taking place in two universes? You didn’t plan on having them both exist in the universe?[/spoil] I was just curious, you know I’m always on the technical stuff . Oh, and I did consider maybe Tony just stopped in the middle of a sentence, but I wasn’t sure. Thanks for clearing that up! Sorry about that.

Anyway, this was an awesome chapter! I was scared for Violet from when I read the title. My heart was pounding. I really hope she’ll be okay. I also found nothing wrong with the grammar. You did very well with this chapter! Especially for being so short, you still got your point across and made it very affective. I have to commend you for putting so much adrenaline and emotion in such a short chapter. This was really incredible!

I could really feel the intensity and concern running through both Kari and Tony. Also, very nice of you to put at the end what Tony said about Violet’s ribs being broken and that you could puncture her lungs if you did CPR. That’s a good piece of intelligence that most people wouldn’t think of. So that’s a great display of intelligence. You gotta be really smart and constantly thinking to come up with that. So awesome job !

I love this one, TSS! Everything about it. It was just AWESOME! I can’t wait to see what you do with the next story! I’m sitting on the edge of my seat dieing to know If Violets okay. But I’m wondering, why did her light start blinking? As far as I know, that only happens when… when her parents are tracking her! Oh, I hope they find her! I know she turned it off, but is there some kind of back-up or an alert if she’s injured? I can’t wait to see what happens! When do you plane on starting the next part of this Trilogy?

You did great, TSS! Keep up the great work! I can’t wait to see what you do next! God Bless! And Happy Valentine’s Day !

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Thanks for your review Violet Parr. I am glad you loved the ending.

These two are just different stories. While in my V-V stories, Tony already knows about Vi’s idenity, in this story, he doesn’t find out until now. My V-V stories and this story has no relation whatsoever.

I’m glad that I was able to put you on the edge of your seat while reading this.

Anyways, about Violet’ homing device going off, I was thinking that while The COmmander was beating her up, he could’ve hit her in the chest at some point, accidently setting off the homing device. But then again, if your Super SUit is getting thrashed like that, how would it work?

I plan to post the next part of the story when I completed writing it. Right now, I am about halfway done. So You might need to wait a few weeks.

[thedriveintheatre]

Sorry for not giving reviews for the previous chapters for so long. I just spent the last two hours catching up on what I’ve missed these past months and writing comments as I go along. Needless to say, I was absolutely riveted! I’ll give you mini-reviews for each chapter. As usual, please don’t take these constructive criticisms personally, and use them to improve your writing…

Chapter 18
I liked the flashback of how Violet met Kari. Her tendency to ramble is one of her defining personalities, and you managed to keep her in-character. The flashback of how Violet and Dash managed to sneak onto the plane was an interesting take from you on how the events in the movie took place from Violet’s POV. It did went for a little too long and dragged the pace, but overall, I like your interpretation of Violet and Dash’s hurried confessions from the movie. The ending was very ominous, I liked it.

Chapter 19
Oh no, bad move with turning off the homing device. How will her family and the authorities be able to trace her if she runs into trouble? I laughed at Kari’s suggestion of seeing a love doctor, and the moment when Violet was ecstatic that she physically contacted Tony was cute and in-character.
The ‘intermission’ when she got out on deck and cried into the ocean was a little melodramatic for me, but I liked your scenery descriptions.
The movie date was well-done, and realistically-portrayed. I feared it would get too cheesy, but it came off sweet and heartwarming instead. I liked your movie titles and the plot of ‘At First Sight’.
The bit where the robot holding the camera mistakenly filmed in the wrong direction and had to be corrected by Morticon was funny and realistic. You still haven’t corrected the ‘Nightmare’ name error, though.
When he tortured Tony with the cattle prodder, I experienced Violet’s sense of despair, especially in the knowledge that it is pre-recorded and there’s nothing she can do to stop him. The end where she took her anger out on the robots made me chuckle. They were getting pretty annoying.

Chapter 20
I’m very curious to find out what is beneath the veil. Morticon’s brutal treatment of his prisoners is just pure villainy. Not to mention he tested out his weapons on them as part of their torture. I liked how Tony comforted Kari in their darkest hours.
Violet’s nightmare was quite terrifying and surreal. That sense of helplessness, and being unable to save the ones you love is positively bone-chilling.

Chapter 21
Another relatively entertaining fight scene. I liked her one-liners as she dispatched the robots without prejudice. It’s nice she spared the life of the last robot after questioning it, and that she retaliated when it tried to ‘stab her in the back’.

Chapter 22
This is one of the better chapters. I liked how Metamorph was bullying his captives and Morticon came to their defense, kind of like a reverse ‘good cop/bad cop’ routine. It gives them moral ambiguity, instead of Morticon just joining in the torture.
The little diatribe about the sacrifice a hero makes was well-written, but I’m beginning to wonder if there was any purpose to singling out Violet to destroy. I mean, why her, of all Supers? Is there something special about her that they need for their superweapon? I hope my questions will be answered soon enough…

Chapter 23
Wow, talk about hitting below the belt. Another nicely choreographed fight scene. Though in that 30 seconds when he was wailing on the ground, I thought Violet would’ve taken him when he was down or planned her next course of action. It also got a bit repetitive when The Commander started beating Violet, but man, is this guy a sadist. His treatment and near-murder of Violet sent chills down my spine.
I’m not sure how much physical violence Violet can take, but shouldn’t that amount have already killed a normal human being? Granted, she is a Super, but I thought that power of stamina and endurance under extreme impacts would be more suited to Mr Incredible or Elastigirl (who can ‘flex’) than the more frail Violet.
The twist ending was pretty surprising. Like Violet Parr, I thought Helen suddenly appeared to save Violet, but my hopes were dashed. Oh no…

Chapter 24
This is the best chapter of the entire story, and one of my favourite pieces of writing from you. Everything just tied together nicely, leading to a truly dramatic climax.
It seems like Morticon doesn’t care for his victims after all, even after ‘rescuing’ them from Metamorph. The fact he twisted the promise he made to Violet was truly vile and a brilliant literal interpretation.
I loved Morticon’s monologue, it is a thought-provoking speech on the costs of being a hero, and at the expense of loved ones. The part where he describes the fall as being potentially lethal filled me with dread.
Now I can also see why you had those flashbacks with Kari and Tony. They were to help us connect and identify with the heroine’s deepest friends, so that when it came to this moment, we actually care about their outcomes instead of being confused, or worse, ambivalent.
And then when Violet was tossed into the air and had to make a split-second decision before they all perished… my pulse was racing and my heart was in my throat. This sequence alone was more exhilarating and creative than all the previous fight scenes before, because it forces the protagonist to make a life-or-death decision and ties in with the story’s themes. I think you should aim for more of these kind of ‘narrative-driven’ action scenes than the usual ‘punch-em-up’ fightfests. And then the end… just took my breath away.
Loved it, absolutely loved it.

Chapter 25
And now we come to the dramatic conclusion of Part 1. Will Violet live? Will the terrible trio unleash their weapon of mass destruction upon the world? Where are the rest of the Incredibles? Will Kari be able to conjure a coherent and succint sentence? All this will be answered in Part Two of TSS’ exhilarating and addictive fanfiction; The Incredibles Trilogy: A New Threat!
…
I still thought it would be better if you wrote ‘End of Book One’ instead of ‘To be continued…’ Though it reminds me of a comic or cartoon serial, come to think of it.

Overall, I’m impressed by the more poignant moments of the story. The flashbacks and the final showdown impressed me more than the humdrum expository and ‘routine ritual’ scenes. You have a knack for ‘villain speech-writing’, and the payoff for the penultimate chapter was just amazing. Just work on injecting more creativity in your action scenes. Try as much as possible to link them to the story and to serve a purpose instead of just cursory encounters, and try other forms like shootouts, or car chases or ‘structural infiltration’ (like Helen did in Syndrome’s base throughout the movie). I also understand Violet’s your favourite character and you want her to be the focus of the story, but try to include the rest of the Parr family to make it more balanced.

Keep up the good work, and I can’t wait to read the rest of the trilogy.

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Dude, TDIT, you have no idea how good and happy reading your super review of my story has made me feel. (Off topic: I’ve been having a stressful week, and needed something to cheer me up, this review did more than just the job. I thought you’ve lost all intrest)

I’ve really enjoyed reading. Thank you for your comments and criticisms.

NOw, if I can get off this writers block that has been plaguing me for the past 3 weeks, I might post up the next part of my story real soon.

[Violet_Parr]

First off, thanks for answering my question about V-V. Sorry I didn’t get it sooner. I tend to misunderstand people sometimes. And, I never really gave a formal review. So, here’s my official review…

Adventure-9.9/10 (This was a rather exciting fic. I really enjoyed the action, and it seemed very real in a lot of parts)

Storyline-10/10 (At times I felt it drifted slightly, but I think the solid idea makes up for it. I think the idea itself is even more solid that the one you used for Syndrome’s Return. And it was very balanced, as far as characters go.)

Characters-10/10 ( It was excellent all-around, but you earn extra points for Father/Daughter time with Violet and her Dad. I also like that Violet didn’t seem quite as emotional as in your last fic. And Kari and Tony’s characters were done exceedingly well. Though, I think Kari should’ve been a bit more talkative at times. And the family, as usual, done to a tee! Their caringness and love as a family was very prevalent through the whole fic. Awesome job!)

Romance-9.6/10 (Not too little, not to much. It wasn’t gushy or gross, it was very romantic and subtle. I love it! I especially like that it don’t overtake the story. Violet and Tony were very cute together)

Developement-8.7/10 (It was good, but it lost me a bit somewhere. Though, that might’ve been partially because of myself not being able to focuse for some reason. So I’ll still give you a good score, as it was still really good.)

Places-9.3/10 (Very nice variety. And good descriptions.)

Description-9.5/10 (As usual, great description without going over board)

Spelling-9/10 (Much improvement! Good job!)

Highlights: First and foremost, the Bob/Violet moments . I loved it! I liked that there was more of them in this fic. I especially liked both times Bob picked up his daughter after a hard mission and helped her, somthing I’ve really wanted to see for a long time.

I also liked Helen offering Violet to use her make-up. It’s a small thing, but it’s a very sweet Mother/Daughter moment.

I loved Violet and Tony’s date together, very romantic and sweet. And the sequence when he asked her out was very sweet. I liked when Violet was captured by Metamorph when he posed as her mother. That really caught me off guard. And the chapter “Assurance” was very good as well. I liked the car ride home, when Helen reassured Violet. Very sweet.

The ending was just excellent! I’m really worried for Violet’s safety. I hope she’ll be alright. And also, what’s gonna happen to Tony and Kari? What will Morticon do what he finds out where they are?

Anyway, great job, once again! I can’t wait for the next one! And, good trick with the homing device. I didn’t think of that. Keep up the great work!

[The_Star_Swordsman]

Thanks for the extended review VIolet Parr.

[thedriveintheatre]

Really great and honest review, Violet Parr!

How’s the second installment, coming along, TSS? Don’t mean to hurry you, just asking as a curious fan.

I’ll reiterate some points to improve for your next volume: Try to have different action sequences. Part of the fun of The Incredibles is the sheer variety of adrenaline-filled moments; car chases, gun-fights, and sneaking around a baddie’s lair. There were moments of brilliance like the robot cloning themselves on the ship, or the museum fight, but for the most part, your story were basically about fistfights and the villains torturing characters. Have a foot chase through the jungle, or a vehicular pursuit from law enforcement agents who have to bring one of the Incredibles in. Variety is the spice of life, and of fanfics as well.

Also try to create situations for ‘incidental heroism’, like Dash stopping a schoolyard bully, or Elastigirl being trapped in a bank robbery as a hostage. Readers might be impressed by grand-scale showdowns, but it’s the little moments of everyday courage that will be the most memorable.

And always remember that the character is the most important, even before story. You can have a very average story, but if your character is compelling enough, the audience will love it, compared to a cardboard character with an epic storyline. Try to have more opportunities for the other Parrs to have their own adventures, unless your fanfic is purely about Violet alone (Again, watch the movie to see how they tied in all the various family member’s adventures into a cohesive whole, instead of following just Bob, for example).

Good luck!