TSS's Fanfiction: The Incredibles: Syndrome's Return

(my guess)

Syndrome is using the powers of other supers to make in himself the ultimate superhero. Using all of the major superpowers he will be unstoppable and by making himself the hero for a change will remove almost all original supers (like the Parrs) from bneing able to practise their powers. Once this happens he can go along and get their powers through trickery or through force only to create himself stronger. He may also attempt to recreate that battle scene he lost in the original movie just to continue his old plan. He ultimately will erase most active supers, create himself as the good guy, and be able to defeat everyone without even a thought of doubt from anyone.
Muhahahahah…its brilliant.

i sure hope that made sense…o_O

Al-Bob: I was thinking the same thing too! And he doesn’t even have to harm anyone! Genius! :smiley:

Anyway, yeah, another good chapter from you TSS. It’s sad to read the Supers’ mundane existence now that they have been decomissioned…

I think Violet went along with Syndrome’s plan a little too easily… I know she was a little suspicious at the beginning…but she put up little resistance when he made his offer. After all, this man almost killed her and her family the last time they fought. What I would have done is that she would flatly refuse his offer and return home… for a few chapters she would mull over it, and maybe ask Helen for advice in a not-so-obvious way. Then one more dramatic event will push her over the brink like maybe Tony dumps her because she is not spending enough time with her, or she couldn’t save the life of a stranger because she is off active duty or something… (Sounds drastic, I know. But you have to push her over the edge! :stuck_out_tongue:) then she finally consents to Syndrome’s plan.

Have you watched Spiderman 2? It’s one of my favourite superhero films that deals with the disenchantment of being a hero and what it means to put yourself before others… Your plot sounds quite similar, and may be a good inspiration to base your story on… But I feel you have introduced some measure of conflicts in her earlier chapters to justify her decision somewhat (like the Omni-Droid beating and the firing of the Supers from superhero service), so I think it’s quite understandable. It would have been more emotionally-powerful though if it was more personal, like when Britney the rich girl teases her a few chapters back, it could be because she looks a mess after a building fire rescue and she had to go to class before she could clean up. Or Tony expresses doubts about her commitment for missing that “last four dates” instead of being all nice and understanding. Tie her abandonment of her duty to her sacrifice of personal life as a superhero.

But it’s a very commendable effort, and I noticed your attempt in trying to make Violet’s life miserable as a Super (especially that tearful confession to her mum before the Nomainsan Island mission), to give a reason for her to relinquish her powers. So I have to give you points for that. Just upped the ante a little bit more (introduce a break-up or fan-made character death) and it would have been perfect. But as it is, it’s already very good. I can’t wait to see what that sneaky Syndrome has up his sleeve (or zero-point energy glove). :wink:

Al-Bob: A good guess. A very good prediction. But is it right? Keep reading to find out. :stuck_out_tongue:

thedriveintheatre:

You know what, you are absolutely right. I had no idea what the heck I was thinking when I wrote this chapter. I guess I was in a total hurry to finish it, but I really love your idea of something really dramatic happening to Violet first before she submits to Syndrome’s offer. An event, such as Tony breaking up with her (or at least coming close to) sounds like a great idea, if that didn’t interfere with future chapter. But yeah, it was a little too easy for her to give in.

I kinda had a Spider-Man 2 theme in mind while writing this fanfic, but I didn’t want to make it 100% similar.

Thanks for your review/suggestions. I can’t wait for future reviews.

vy did i now you vould say that… :sunglasses:

Don’t worry…i will find out.

It is on my fanfiction.net profile if you wish to read it before I post it Al-Bob.

oh sure…let me go back to that.

I’ll keep reviewing there as well.

If you do do that, you’ll know what happens before anyone else does.

hehehehe… :smiling_imp:

Sounds good…

Have you done that yet?

No not yet…i’ve had a rather busy week and this was the first day i had nothin’ so it was a day off.

I’m off of school now for 2 weeks… :smiley:

I got your review Al-Bob. Thanks. Now you know what happens before most everyone else. I hope you stil comment on chapters i post here.

definitely…i will continue to post reviews here.

Sweetness!!!

Here is the next update everyone.

In our last chapter, Violet, yearning for the joy of living a “normal” life, travels with Syndrome to Nomanisan Island. There, he take away her powers. What happens next? Find out right now.

Chapter 20: Truth and Consequences

Violet woke up. She found out that she was still in the cave. She got up and made her way outside. She saw that the sky was orange and darkness was approaching. Violet had just remembered that Syndrome drained her powers. Violet stopped in her tracks and tried to become invisible. No matter how hard she tried, she could not make one part of her body vanish. She then tried throwing a force field. That also failed. Violet was stunned. Her lifelong wish of being normal had finally came true. She jumped for joy for about a minute.

“Oh shoot, my parents are going to kill me if I am not home soon.” Violet realized, reaching into her pocket, pulling out her cell phone. “Let me see if I got this right.”

This new cell phone was specially designed and made by the Parr family’s fashion designer and good friend, Edna Mode. Violet’s cell phone had not only the features of a regular cell phone, but thanks to E, her phone had even more upgrades. Violet pressed a button combination on the phone.

“You have selected the NSA Transport Teleporter. Please input coordinates of your current location and coordinates of your destination.”

After Violet checked the World Map on the cell phone screen, she typed the coordinates of Nomanisan Island, and then the coordinates of her house. After that, she placed her cell right in her pocket. Seconds later, a white beam shot up from below her and engulfed her body. By the time the light faded away, Violet was gone.

//////////\

Back her house, the same transferring bright light appeared in her room. Violet had successfully teleported back to her house. She placed her cell phone on her desk and sat on her bed.

Just then, Helen came bursting in the room with her Super suit on. “Violet, hurry and change. Baron Von Ruthless has been wrecking havoc all over town! Syndrome hasn’t shown up! We are needed!”

Violet was about to stop her mom and tell the truth, but it was too late. In a blink of an eye, Helen was already down the stairs and out the door. Violet stood in her room, frozen as ice. It took no longer than a minute before Bob honked his horn and called Violet to come down. She snapped out of her trance and unwillingly went to change into her Super Suit. Violet placed on her mask, ran down the stairs, and jumped into the Incredibile.

//////////\

“RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

Screams of terror were heard in the streets of Metroville. Baron Von Ruthless, a feared Super Villain back in the Glory Days, walked gallantly through the city, blasting his plasma ray at buildings, cars and everything in his path. Baron Von Ruthless fired his gun at a large building. An explosion resulted on impact. He then discharged another radiant beam at a car.

“Like target practice, only more fun, and more deadly.”

Suddenly, the Incredibile drove up and skidded to a halt. Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, and Speedster all hurried out of the car. Invisigirl was in no rush of doing anything super. She slowly and tremblingly got our of the car. Each of the family members, including Invisigirl, assumed a fighting stance.

“You have made a lot of mistakes in the past as a villain, Ruthless. And by far the biggest mistake was coming back.” proclaimed Mr. Incredible.

Ruthless laughed. “Well now Supers. It has been a long time since we last met. And from the looks of things Mr. Incredible, you also have made a big mistake: BRINGING YOUR FAMILY HERE SO I CAN DESTROY THEM!” He roared. Without warning, the Baron fired is plasma ray at the family.

The first thing that came to Invisigirl’s mind after the gun had been fired was, “please don’t ask for a force field, please don’t ask for a force field”.

“Everyone, scatter!” Mr. Incredible commanded.

The family of Supers jumped out of the way of the beam and landed softly on the sidewalk, Invisigirl and Elastigirl on one side, Mr. Incredible and Speedster on the other. As Mr. Incredible pondered on his plan of attack, Baron Von Ruthless unleashed an onslaught of beams, firing in every direction. Mr. Incredible and Speedster hid behind a car nearby while the Super heroines ran inside the nearest building.

Dangerous, high energy and deafening explosions were heard every second. With the situation growing more dangerous, and with the city getting destroyed with each blast, the family knew they had to do something. Everyone planned for Invisigirl to use a force field to defend the family while they attack, but how powerful are the blasts? And can she hold them all off without getting killed?

Suddenly, the Baron’s beams exploded inside the building the two Super ladies were in. Elastigirl and Invisigirl were blasted through the glass an on to the pavement. As both struggle to get to their feet, Ruthless aimed his gun at Invisigirl and Elastigirl,

“INVISIGIRL! FORCE FIELD NOW!” shouted her father

The Baron pulled the trigger. The beam was approaching the two heroines. Invisigirl felt like it was slow motion. Thoughts swirled in her mind as the beam approached closer and closer. Invisigirl was frozen solid. She shut her eyes tight and braced for impact.

Seconds later, the noise stopped. Everything was dead silent. Invisigirl slowly opened her eyes to see if she was dead yet. To her relief, she was still alive. She turned around and saw her mother was alright too. This made Invisigirl wonder.

“What just happened? Did I throw a force field? Are my powers really, really, gone?”

Invisigirl finally found her answer, and it was not one that she would wish for. On the pavement, lying motionless was Invisigirl’s brother. Her eyes widened in horror as she knelt beside her brother.

“Oh no, Dash. . . Dash! Oh please Dash, don’t be, please don’t be, no. . .” cried Invisigirl as Elastigirl joined her daughter.

“Oh how sad. I guess it wouldn’t be fair to leave him to die all alone.” laughed the Super Villian.

Ruthless fired his gun once again. Invisigirl and Elastigirl were paralyzed in fear. Mr. Incredible only watched helplessly as the beam got closer and closer to his wife and daughter.

All of a sudden, a large purple orb appeared in front of the Supers. An explosion followed. Invisigirl was dumbfounded. She saw her force field appear right in front of her. However, she didn’t put it up. Invisigirl looked up and saw Syndrome hovering above. Syndrome landed on the ground forcefully. This created a large earthquake that rumbled the city. This also swept Baron Von Ruthless off of his feet. Syndrome caught him in his immobi-ray and threw him up into the atmosphere. The Baron was gone.

Syndrome than observed the decimated part of the city. He sighed and with supersonic speed, flew all around the destroyed city. It was a really fantastic feat but Syndrome managed to repair and restore the city. Buildings were sparking clean, cars were repaired, and the streets were new and fresh. And to think that he did all of that in a time of five minutes. Syndrome landed in front of Invisigirl and Elastigirl. Mr. Incredible ran up to his family.

“Well, that should save the NSA some money.” laughed Syndrome. He looked at the motionless Speedster. Mr. Incredible lifted him in his arms. “Here, let me take him to the hospital.” Syndrome offered.

Mr. Incredible glared back. “No thank you! I’ll take hime myself.”

“You clearly don’t know what hit you son do you?” Syndrome started to explain. “Ten years after the Super Hero Relocation Program was established, I was selling my weapons to anyone who would pay me loads of money. I sold Baron Ruthless that weapon that your son fell victim to. It is called the Death Omega Ion Cannon. Take this thing at full blast and you are in danger.” Syndrome looked at the family. “You have ten minutes before he dies. And I know you can not reach the hospital in time.”

Mr. Incredible looked at his son, than at his nemesis, than back at his son. He reluctantly handed him over. “If he isn’t home in twenty minutes, you are going to die and nothing is. . .”

Syndrome didn’t care. He flew Speedster to a nearby hospital, immediately. Mr. Incredible now glared at his daughter. Invisigirl hung her head in guilt and disgrace. The family all got into the car and drove home. The drive home was incredibly silent, even after crime fighting.

//////////\

The family went to their respective rooms when they arrived home. Violet took off her suit and placed it in her purse. She then went to her closet and threw it in. She tried her best not to cry. Even though she knew Dash would be alright, she felt so guilty and ashamed.

“VIOLET, IN OUR ROOM, NOW!”

It was her father. She sighed and slowly got up and walked out of her room. She walked tardily though the hall and to her parent’s room. Her hand trembled as she turned the knob and opened the door. Terrified, she entered the room with caution. She closed the door behind her an looked at her two parents.

Bob was furious. He knew something was up. Helen however wasn’t as angry, just concerned. All she wanted was to understand.

Bob walked up to his daughter. He glared down at her as if she were a pathetic, wounded dog. Violet just stared at her feet. Her hair was down and tears were slowly streaking down her face.

“It is just a simple task. Put up a force field to protect your brother. Now isn’t there a reason why you didn’t use a force field?”

Violet don’t know what to say. The worst time to confront with her father is when he is infuriated. She wanted to tell the truth but nothing came out of her mouth.

“Well, answer me!” He roared.

“I. . . don’t have my. . . powers anymore.” whispered Violet.

“What did you say?”

Violet’s teary eyes met up with Bob’s eyes. She spoke loudly and clearly. “I don’t have my powers anymore!”

Bob’s eyes widened. Helen gasped and almost fainted. “WHAT?”

“I’m sorry mom and dad. Ever since our Super Hero jobs got terminated, I haven’t used my powers since. I thought that I wouldn’t need it anymore. Besides, don’t you know that it is already a curse to me already?

“I can’t believe you did this honey.” said Helen. She too was crying. “Violet, I. . .”

Violet looked at the ground and cried. “ I’m sorry. I met with Syndrome and he gave me this opportunity to be a normal girl. That is something I really want. Just to be a normal girl.”

While the mother and daughter wept, Bob grew more and more frustrated. “VIOLET, YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE YOU KNOW THAT? YOU FIRST NEGOTIATE WITH AN ENEMY, SECOND, YOU WILLINGLY LET HIS TAKE YOUR POWERS, THE THING THAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE! HAVE YOU NO REMORSE? AND BECAUSE OF THAT, YOUR BROTHER NEARLY DIED!!!” he shouted angrily.

It is one thing to get Bob frustrated, but once you catch him on an more bad side of him, he starts to get a little physical. (If you remember his little “accident” with Gilbert Huph, you should know what I am talking about.) Bob started to clench his fists. Never before has Violet seen him so angry.

“Bob honey, control yourself!” Helen consoled a little worried.

Then, Bob did something no one in the family would have ever imagined. He started punching in the air to try and release some of the anger built up inside him. Unfortunately, one of his punches came flying toward Violet. She ducked to the floor, but the impact sent the door flying off of it’s hinges, through the hallway, and crashing against a wall on the other side of the house. Bob panted really hard and then his eyes widened, realizing what he had just done. He gazed at his daughter Violet who was looking up at him with terror in her eyes. Excessive tears cascaded from her eyes. She got to her feet and ran out of the room. Bob looked at Helen.

“Bob, how could you? She is our daughter you know.”

“This is my fault.” said Bob, feeling guilty. “I didn’t mean to scare her. I couldn’t control myself.”

“I’ll go talk to her. In the meantime, you better find a way to apologize to her.”

Violet dashed into her room, grabbed her purse from the closet, and hurried down the stairs. She saw her mother was right behind her.

“Violet honey, wait!”

Violet didn’t care. She just wanted to run away. Anywhere to be safe and hopefully to be accepted as a regular human instead of a Super freak. As soon as she went out the door, she started to run as fast as se could. Violet looked back and saw Helen running right after her. What she did not see was that she was running onto the street, where many cars were speeding past. Violet tripped on to the asphalt and rolled out of the way before an automobile could run over her. She carefully dodged car after car until she finally reached the other side. When Helen arrived, she chose not to take a chance with the traffic and wait for the signal to change. Bad luck would follow as the light would not change for several minutes. Helen watched her daughter disappear beyond the horizon.

//////////\

Nighttime approached. Violet need a place to sleep, but also had to find a place where she could be hidden without being found. She looked all over until she came to the park…

“I guess sleeping under a tree wouldn’t be so bad.”

Violet suddenly heard a beeping sound and realized her Super Suit was making the noise. She nervously fiddled with it to try and get the noise to stop. After punching the flashing white dot on the logo three time before the suit stopped beeping. Violet sighed an laid herself on the ground. She cried to herself as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.

Man, reading your fanfic on FanFiction.net has ruined all the suprise that i normally get here…oh well.

Review-9.5/10
Almost got that 10. I loved the feelings and the way you bring forth the chapter to the reader. Great job…

p.s. have i put a review on the whole thing in Fanfiction.net?? i don’t think i have…

Thanks for reviewing ths chapter Al-Bob. Yes, you have reviews all of my story at fanfiction.net.

Next cahpter upsate! Here you all go.

Chapter21: Fun in the Sun

Violet woke up. It was dawn. She decided to leave the park and go to another location. Violet knew her parents would be looking for her. Violet got up, placed her headband on, and made her way out of the park. She decided to walk around.

She walked until she reached Downtown Metroville. Violet continued walking past tall buildings and parked cars. She crossed the streets westward to the edge of Downtown.

After an hour, she finally arrived at the beach. Violet smiled, gazed into the beautiful blue sky, and took in a breath of fresh air.

“Hey Violet.” someone called behind her.

Violet turned around and gasped when she saw who it was.

“Tony!”

Violet immediately leapt into his arms, clasping her boyfriend into a tight hug. An embarrassed Tony looked around, trying to ignore everyone staring at him.

“Violet, we are in public right now.” said Tony. Violet released her grip. “So uh, what are you doing out here so early?”

I uh. . ." she quickly stuttered. "my mom dropped me off here. She tried to change the subject. “So what about you?”

“Well, I got this two day ago.” he answered, holding up a video camera.

“Wow! How cool!” said an astonished Violet.

“My parents bought it for me. This is the Video Capture 2000. It is the latest multimedia device. Sweet high-quality picture and sound, an Optimizer to adjust the audio and video for your own viewing pleasure, and a very nice look too. The cool thing is it’s waterproof and made with a indestructible metal that protects this baby from harm.”

“Cool!” Violet awed again.

“That reminds me Vi. My parents and I are going to rent a yacht and try this camera out. Wanna come, maybe swim a bit?”

“Well, I would love to Tony, but I don’t have a bathing suit or swimwear with me for the matter.”

“That doesn’t matter. There is a shop right over there.” he said, pointing to one store that sold swimwear, beach toy, and anything and everything for a perfect summer day.

Violet and Tony went inside. She found a two piece, purple colored, swimsuit, pink flip flops and sun glasses. Violet went to purchase her stuff. Fifteen minutes later, the two made their way to the harbor. After looking at a couple boats, the two teens came across one big and beautiful yacht. Tony’s parents were standing next to it.

“Hello there Violet. Glad you could come with us.” greeted Tony’s mom.

Minutes later, the Rydingers and Violet boarded the boat and were on their way. While everyone else was on deck, enjoying the nice ocean view, Violet went below deck to change into her bathing suit. After about five minutes, she joined the Rydinger family. Tony saw her and was immediately dazed by Violet and her body. Violet walked up to Tony and snapped her fingers in front of her face. Tony was now out of his trance.

“Tony, please. We are in front of your parents.”

Tony apologized. The two stood next to each other, enjoying the beautiful, warm sun, the clear, blue sky, and the wonderful view of the city. Violet beamed as she leaned her head against Tony’s shoulder.

“Hey, lets go swimming” suggested Violet.

“Okay, I’ll meet you. I have to change first.”

While Tony made his way below deck, Violet took of her flip flops and dove head first into the deep ocean. Violet swam underwater for a couple seconds. She later resurfaced, gasping for air. She wiped the water from her face and saw Tony jumping in with her. Violet swam over to Tony, who brought his video camera with him.

For hours, Violet and Tony played, laughed, and had a good time in the water. Both took turns recording each other. Violet recorded Tony doing very stupid stuff. She tried her hardest not to laugh when Tony started to imitate a dolphin. She almost dropped the camera. After Violet finished, she gave the camera to Tony.

“Do something Violet.” Tony requested.

Violet tried to do a handstand underwater, which was difficult because she had no hard surface underneath her to support her body. As a result, Violet dove underwater, and both of her feet popped out above the surface, then splashed back down under the water. She finally surfaces. In short, she did one full flip underwater, right in front of the camera.

“Wow Violet, that was amazing.” laughed Tony.

Vi took a deep breath and dove underwater again. Tony joined her as the two filmed each other under the surface. After that, both took turns filming each other performing fancy jumps and dives of the boat.

“Tony, Violet! Come on up. Lunch is ready!” called Mrs. Rydinger.

Violet and Tony swam to the boat and got out of the water. Tony got out first. Violet dunked her entire face under the water first before heading back on to the boat. Mrs. Rydinger handed both of them a brown towel. After drying themselves off, Mr. Rydinger came in, carrying a plate of sandwiches and 4 glasses of lemonade. Violet and Tony grabbed a sandwich and a glass. After thanking Mr. Rydinger, both began to devour the delicious food.

“Had a nice swim?” asked Mrs. Rydinger. Both Vi and Tony nodded. “I’m glad.” she replied.

When Violet was done, she decided to lay in the warm sun for a while. Tony came up to talk with her.

“Enjoying yourself Vi?” he asked.

Violet just smiled. “Yes thank you.”

Tony placed down his video camera. “I am going to help my dad out with some stuff okay Vi? Can you watch my camera until I get back?”

“Sure thing. Can I play with it for a while?” she asked.

“Go on ahead.” approved Tony as he made his way below deck.

Violet looked at the camera and picked it up. She looked through the eyepiece and got a monocular view of the city. She saw people going about their daily business. The then got a nice view of the Seaport. Then, Violet found a man, wearing a Super suit with a large S on the center of the suit.

“Syndrome. . . what is he doing there?” she wondered as she pressed the record button, and the red recording light flashed on.

Violet zoomed in on the Super. He was carrying something in his arms. It was an unconscious ten year old boy. Syndrome jumped up and flew off of the Seaport with the little boy in his arms.

“What does he think he’s doing?” Violet thought to herself.

Next, without warning, Syndrome dropped the boy into the ocean. Violet gasped as the boy regain his consciousness and struggled to stay afloat. Violet then zoomed the camera in on Syndrome.

He started making weird gestures out toward the ocean. He began by extending his arms in front of his body and slowly twisting his body and bringing abd extending his arms back the other way at the same time. Syndrome repeats this movement two more times. Suddenly, the waves in the ocean started to grow bigger. As the massive waves approach closer and closer to the boy. Violet’s eyes widened in horror. She finally figured everything out about Syndrome.

Really good TSS

Review-9/10

Boy i can see how hard it is for critics…this gets rather tiring (especially at 12;00)

The chapter gives the reader a real sense of the romantic side of the author. TSS really portrays a sense of peace in this chapter that really goes back to the 60-70’s. It portrays an old sense of peace that only children know. I really enjoyed this sense of peace but the last paragraph literally drowned all chances of it being more peaceful. Let us hope that Violet can keep that tape from that evil Syndrome :wink:

Could you expand a little bit more on that review please Al-Bob?

There ya go…little more detailed. :sunglasses: