TSS's Fanfiction: The Incredibles: Syndrome's Return

I’ve been following your story with great interest, TSS, although i haven’t updated my reviews for some time.

I liked your development of Violet and Tony’s relationship, as well as her constant sibling teasing and quarrels with Dash.

As for Syndrome, I’m intrigued as to his change of heart. And he seems to have an upgrade, now he’s strong, capable of lifting heavy objects with his zero-point energy beam, mind-control (as from his last act of heroism with the subway robber), and indestructible!

Could he have changed for the better? :smiley: The plot thickens… :sunglasses:

Just a couple of mistakes, being the spelling police I am…

Chapter 15: "Are you sure she doesn’t have any super powers?” the teen heroine interrogated.

Chapter 16: As soon as the man pulled the trigger, she fad formed a force field to protect herself…

Syndrome winked at the crown

But great work so far, and I’m interested to see what you have in store for our heroes.

One thing I’m wondering though… if Syndrome is the good guy now, who was the villain who commanded the robot to beat up Violet on Nomanisan a few chapters back? :wink: Guess I’ll wait to find out.

rachel: I’m glad you enjoyed it. And don’t worry, everything will make sense the further into the story we go. So hang tight, and keep watch for updates.

thedriveintheatre:

Well, the important thing is you got a chance to review this one. I am glad you liked it.

You aren’t the first to make that comment about the Violet/Tony relationship. Thanks a lot.

Could he? It seems like it. I want people to think what would be more puzzling, Syndrome’s change of heart or change of powers. But keep alert for updates and the answers shall be revealed.

Thanks for pointing out the mistakes. I’ll go correct them as soon as possible.

You’ll see. You’ll see. :wink:

You’re welcome, TSS. I’m not sure if I’ve said this before, or whether I should here, but I know you got the entire story posted up on Fanfiction already. :wink: But I don’t mind this weekly format, it gives me time between each chapter instead of reading it in one shot, and it’s like those serial dramas that I can look forward to every Tuesday. Call it ‘delayed gratification’ if you will.

By the way, sorry for the shameless plug, but have you noticed my Cars crossover fanfic? It’s uh…just the thread below yours…I don’t know how much you’re a fan of Cars or the TV show 24, but I hope you find my first fanfiction effort interesting. Please have a look and comment…I’m not getting much responses besides Al-Bob and Rachel, so it would be great to have another opinion. I’m trying to adopt a weekly format like yours, but I don’t have your luxury of having written out the entire story and merely posting it week after week. As of now, I’m still working out the third episode! :stuck_out_tongue: So just click the link on my sig, and tell me what you think either through your Fanfiction account or posting on the forum thread. Or if you’re feeling hardworking, both! :smiley:

thedriveintheatre: So you aren’t the only one who knows that I got this story on fanfiction.net. :wink:

I just read it and commented on it on your story thread. Check it out okay?

Here is the next chapter everyone. Enjoy.

Chapter 18: Dismissed

It has gone by incredibly quickly, but two months has passed since Syndrome’s return. Since then, he has been completely dominating over the city of Metroville and all of the Supers within. Whenever there is an emergency, Syndrome will arrive before any Super. Even if you’re Speedster, with your Super Suit on and are ten feet away from a bank that is being robbed, Syndrome will beat you to it before you can spring into action.

Many out there can debate on Syndrome’s rise to power. Some could say that his massive technological upgrades made him a more powerful Super. All of the arsenal that he acquired made him stronger, enhanced his speed and crime awareness. Others could say that for the last two months, he had always been at the right place at the right time. Sheer luck made him a favorite among all. Or quite possibly, there could be one hidden reason that the citizens of Metroville would need clues and piece together the puzzle to figure it out.

Whatever the reason, it was enough to decline the popularity and use for the family of Supers, known as the Incredibles. The family sat around the house doing nothing, overwhelmed by the boredom. Helen was feeding Jack-Jack with his baby bottle. Bob sat on the couch with his arms crossed. Dash laid upon the floor, staring at the ceiling. Violet was listening to some music on her headphones. The family sat soberly and dully. Two months with no Super work can easily aggravate anyone.

//////////\

“God, the Incrediphone has been silent for a while.” said Dash randomly.

Everyone grunted as if he never existed. Suddenly, a series of beeps was heard. Bob, Helen, Violet, Dash, and Jack-Jack stared at the phone. The Incredible’s logo on the phone began to light up in rhythm with the beams. An overly excited Bob Parr picked up the phone.

“This is the Incredibles.”

“Uh yeah, you ordered a pizza. And can you please tell me. . .”

“Wrong number idiot.” Bob grunted.

He placed the receiver down gently. After he let out a sigh, he grabbed the Incrediphone and threw it at the wall. Helen extended her hand and grabbed it before it smashed against the wall. She placed it down on the table-stand. Helen glared at her husband.

“What do you think you are doing Bob?” she inquired.

Bob held his head down in disgrace. “I’m sorry honey. Ever since he came back, things have changed. I mean, for the good of all the people in Metroville, but bad for us.”

“I know, but. . .”

The phone beeped again. This time, Helen picked it up. She handed Jack-Jack over to Violet and spoke into the receiver.

“Hello? Oh hi, Rick. We are doing fine. . . what? Now? All of us? Okay, we be down in a second. Bye.”

Helen looked at her family. “Put your masks on guys. Rick wants us down at HQ immediately.”

Violet and Dash sprinted into their rooms, retrieved their masks, and rendezvoused with Helen and Bob at the fireplace. The family rode the elevator down to the NSA HQ. They went to the clerk at the front desk.

“Rick wanted to see us.” said Mr. Incredible.

The clerk nodded. Something was odd about her. Instead of a cheerful girl, her face was solemn. Just as she granted the family permission to Rick’s ofice, she took out a tissue and blew her nose.

//////////\

The family all sat in the business chairs in front of Rick’s desk. He was rather serious about today’s meeting. He looked at all of the Incredibles.

“What can we do for you today Rick?” Mr. Incredible asked anxiously.

Rick sighed, “Unfortunately Bob, that is the reason why I called you in here.” Rick pressed a button on his desk. A large plasma TV screen was revealed after two walls behind him split apart. “What do you see here?”

Video clips of Syndrome performing hero work after hero work. People were praising him. The Incredibles watched helplessly.

“What was the point of all that?” said Speedster.

“All we saw was Syndrome. Thanks a lot. We are heroes too you know.” glared Invisigirl, who was irritated that she had to watch Syndrome steal their glory and work. “We. . .”

“You were our heroes young lady.” Rick interrupted sharply. The family’s eyes widened, and their jaws dropped. Rick continued. “What you saw was highlight footage of every hero work that was performed since Syndrome’s reappearance, courtesy from the Super Hero Archives. About 99 of those heroic deeds were done by Syndrome. Other Supers have done some stuff, but you haven’t done anything in two months.”

Mr. Incredible feared what was coming next. “Rick, don’t tell me. . .”

“I am afraid I am Bob. From this day forward, I hereby remove you Mr. Incredible, Elastigirl, Invisigirl, and Speedster from the active status roster of Super Hero work.”

“WHAT? YOU CAN"T DO THAT!” declared Speedster.

“I am sorry son, but those are the rules. Once a Super has been inactive from hero work for two months, he or she is automatically terminated from the Hero roster. I am sorry.”

The family was taken aback for this. They slowly got up and walked toward the elevator leading to the grand lobby of the National Super’s Agency’s Headquarters.

Before the door closed, Rick stood up from his seat. “And Incredibles. . .” he placed his right hand over his eye brow and saluted the family of Supers. Both Invisigirl and Elastigirl tried to fight back their tears as the elevator doors closed.

The family walked through the lobby. Everyone present in the room saluted to the family as they passed by. Many of them sobbing. As the family rode the elevator back to their home, their tears could not be held back. Helen took off her mask and buried her face into Bob’s shoulders. Violet cried also as her tears showered down from her face.

The elevator doors opened up and the family reentered their house. Bob, Helen, Violet and Dash each went to their respective rooms. For the next couple of hours, the house would be filled with the sound of silence.

//////////\

Hours have passed. Helen was cooking dinner. Violet came downstairs with a navy colored jacket on. She headed toward the door. Vi had just twisted the door knob.

“And where do you think you are going young lady?”

Violet froze. She turned around to see her mom, standing with her arms folded. “Well, Tony asked me to go to the movies with him, and I said. . .”

“I’m sorry Vi, but you aren’t going out tonight.” Helen told her daughter.

“But why not?”

“Honey, we just got fired to put it in informal terms. No one is going out with anyone until this fact settles in.”

“But mom,” Violet whined.

“Not another word Violet. What I say is final!”

Violet slammed the door and ran upstairs. She locked herself in for the rest of the night. She called Tony on his cell, explaining to him that she could not make it to the movies.

The next morning, she refused to eat breakfast. She just stayed in her room doing one of three things: cry on her bed, write in her diary, or practice her powers some more. Before Violet went to bed later on that night, she gazed at the stars outside. She focused her gaze on one star and yearned with all of her heart.

“Why. . . why can’t I have it my way? Why can’t my life be perfect? Why must a Super’s life be cursed with all of these issues? I would give up anything just to be like a normal fourteen-year-old girl. . . anything.”

Man, that syndrome is ruining the super race. He is literally destroying the ability of supers to do superhero acts. Maybe the Incredibles could retire and live peacably…no they couldn’t do that…

Review
9/10

Reading how the Incredibles were fired from their superhero work was shocking and unexpected. A really big twist. I don’t know how they could get back into the crime-fighting scene, and find out what Syndrome is up to, but I’m sure you will come up with a way to make that happen. Well… I hope so. Can’t wait for your next chapter! =)

Just a few spelling errors:

Helen looked at her family. “Put your masks on guys. Rick wants us down at HQ immediately.”

They slowly got up and walked toward the elevator leading to the grand lobby of the National Super’s Agency’s Headquarters.

Everyone present in the room saluted to the family as they passed by.

Al-Bob: Well, thanks for your reivew. (I’m still waiting for te 10/10 dude. :wink: )

rachelcakes1985: You think that was a big twist, the last part of the chapter is supposed to foreshadow a even bigger twist in the story. But what happens next? Just keep reading to find out.

Thanks for pointing out the spelling errors.

Ooooh, I can’t wait to read the even bigger twist, then. =)

Well, ain’t no harm in guessing rachel. I like to know what people are thinking durring and after they read my chapter.

Well, I think that Syndrome may be getting help from an electronic device, but that’s all I would be able to guess for now.

Okay. I am going to give you guys one clue.

Go to the very first post and read the premise. After that, read the last part of the latest chapter.

I still don’t trust Syndrome. I think he planned to do that to get the Incredibles fired. And as for Violet, she had better be careful what she wishes for! (I know I’ve read this whole fanfic before, but no spoilers here- this is what I remember thinking back when I read it the first time :wink: )

yah…i still can’t accept syndrome but the evidence of him being good outnumber the bad signs at the moment. I can’t wrap my brain around how Syndrome is doing this…

Al-Bob: It shall be revealed later on. I promise. Maybe in the next chapter, but you won’t know until you read the next chapter.

Only ten more chapters to go before this story is finished everyone. Enjoy chapter 19.

Chapter 19: Opportunity

It might have been fast, but four months have passed since the Parr family have had their jobs terminated. Each person took the event rather seriously ever since.

Bob went to work as a construction worker. This kind of work was easy for Bob, thanks to his super strength. But without the thrill, exhilaration and danger of being kidnaped, hurt, or killed by a death ray, he found his work incredibly boring.

Helen was still a kind and caring mom. She continued to care for Jack-Jack and her family. Even though she can easily adapt to situations, she couldn’t help but miss crime fighting and hero work.

Dash was in great distress. During his track meets or races, in which he would usually win first or second place, started placing third or lower. He even refused to use his powers during races, or pull pranks on Mr. Kropp, Dash’s least favorite teacher.

Violet wasn’t affected by this as much. She could live with not having to do hero work anymore. She started to go out with Tony more often. It felt relaxing for her to spend a night with the boy she loves instead of canceling her date because some psycho threatens to destroy the city. Still, even with more freedom, she found her life was a little bit uninteresting. She missed all of the energy and excitement of saving lives. Who can be Tony’s favorite hero now if Invisigirl is no more?

//////////\

Summer had finally come. Many exciting things have happened to the Parr family. For example, Violet had just finished Middle School. This coming fall, she is going to be a freshman at Metroville High School.

Dash wasn’t finished with Elementary School. He was going to move to the fifth grade. He was certainly glad that he was moving up a grade because he didn’t have to deal with Mr. Kropp anymore.

Nothing changed much for Helen and Jack-Jack. Bob, aside from gaining a couple pounds, hardly changed at all.

Two days of the Parr’s summer vacation had passed. One day, Violet decided to go take a little walk, just to get some fresh air and some exercise. She just passed by a park. A smile wass put on her face as she observed small children play in the sand, swing on the swing sets, and slide down the slides.

“A wonderful view, isn’t it?” said a voice behind her.

Violet turned around to see a middle aged man standing in front of her. He was taller than Violet with an egg shaped head. He wasn’t muscular like her father, nor was he out of shape. This man had a boyish, nerdy face. The most noticeable feature this man had was his very unique hair. One might think that electricity was surging through his body, making his hair stand on end.

“SYNDROME!” She yelled.

“SSSSSHHHHHHHHH!” went he.

People all over the park stared at Violet. She blushed with embarrassment. People resumed their activities as Vi’s blush began to fade away.

“Hey, I may not be your most favorite person to meet," he said, "but I’m not wearing my mask. I’m Buddy Pine now. I have to keep a low profile too you know.”

Violet continued to glare at Buddy. “What do you want. Haven’t you caused enough problems for me and my family already?”

Buddy grinned. “Oh a sweet, pretty girl like you shouldn’t be so angry.” Buddy placed his hand on Vi’s face. He gently began to softly touch the teenager’s long dark hair.

Violet abruptly slapped his hand away. “Don’t touch me okay?” She glared at him. “Just leave me alone.”

Violet began to storm off. Buddy just crossed his arms. “Hey, maybe I can help you with all of your troubles!” he called.

Violet pouted, “I think I have enough already!”

“I meant, I can help you with your powers!” he said.

Violet stopped in her tracks. She slowly turned around until she was facing Buddy Pine. She found herself walking to him. Buddy smiled as Violet was now a foot away from him.

“You can do that?” wondered Violet inquisitively.

Syndrome nodded. “Would you like me to?”

Violet turned around and pondered her options. She could refuse the offer and stay as a Super. She would keep the one thing that has been specially and genetically bonded with her since birth, her powers. However, she would be stuck with this curse forever. And if some chance she and her family resume hero work again, there goes her freedom with Tony.

The other option was accept this offer from a former enemy who just put her family out of commission. Her parents would be really upset when they find out Violet had lost her powers. But she wondered. “Isn’t all of this trouble worth being a normal girl? I can finally have that life I always wanted.”

“No, no. I can’t. Thanks, but I just can’t.” She answered.

Buddy sighed. “Is that what you really want?” Vi looked at the ground. She finally got herself to nod her head, reluctantly. “Okay,” said Buddy, “suit yourself.”

He turned around and started to walk away. Suddenly, Violet called back to him.

“Wait. . . just give me a couple more minutes.”

Violet took this time to think. This was hard for her to do because she did not want to face the wrath of her parents, should she accept Buddy’s offer. But she really wanted to be normal?

Finally, Violet sighed looked at Buddy. “Okay, show me how.”

Buddy grinned. He went behind a tree. When he returned, he was in his Super Suit. Syndrome grabbed Violet and flew away. He flew over the Pacific Ocean.

“Where are we going?” asked Vi.

“You’ll see!”

About twenty minutes later, Violet started to feel very uncomfortable. She couldn’t stand the uncomfortable grasp Syndrome had on her.

“Can you please make this ride a little more fast or more comfortable?”

Syndrome sighed. “Okay, you asked for it.”

Syndrome started to accelerate. Faster, faster, and faster he went. Soon, he was flying at the speed of sound. As he flew on toward his destination, Violet felt like her skin was going to rip off of her face. One minute later, Syndrome finally arrived at Nomanisan Island. He landed on the sand and set the trembling Violet down.

“I’ll give you a minute.”

Violet slowly started to regain her composure. It took her about five minutes to recover. An impatient Syndrome just paced along the sand. Violet finally stood up on her feet. She followed Syndrome into the depths of Nomanisan Island.

“How long?” Violet asked after walking for hours.

“It’s a big jungle little girl. Just a couple more minutes.”

“My feet are killing me!”

Syndrome stopped. “Okay, we’re here. Happy now?”

The two stood in front of a huge cave. Violet remembered. This was the same cave that she investigated on her first special mission. Both she and Syndrome walked inside. The young Super gazed at the numerous amount of glowing computers and monitors. She also revisited all of the capsules that were occupied by Supers of the past.

“I’m curious. Exactly what are these Super’s doing in here anyways?” Violet asked.

“It is confidential material. I can’t tell you and you must swear on your life that you will never tell anyone what you’ve seen in here.” Syndrome demanded purposefully.

Violet decided not to argue. Within moments, Syndrome brought in a huge plasma gun. Violet froze in fear.

“W . . . w . . . what is that?” she frightfully asked.

“It is called the Super Power Absorber Plasma Ray.” he explained. “All this baby does is shoot a completely harmless beam. The beam absorbs your powers. The power is then converted into a liquid substance, which is then transferred into these two glass containers.” He pointed at two clear containers.

“It won’t hurt right?”

“No, not a bit.”

“Buddy . . .” Violet said before the gun was fired. “. . . thank you.”

She stood completely still as Syndrome charged up his gun. When it was at full power, he shot a bright, white beam at the teenager. Violet did not feel any pain, but as the beam continued to absorb her powers, she began to feel lightheaded and weak. Soon, Syndrome stopped firing the plasma gun. Violet fainted on the spot.

A purple substance filled the glass containers. Syndrome grabbed it and poured the liquid into a large syringe.

“No Invisigirl. Thank you.” laughed Syndrome. His loud guffaw was heard throughout the island.

sounds good…

Review-8/10
I found the transitions rather harsh on the reader but they are minor. Syndrome is suddenly bad now?? huh…so he was pretending just to get Vi? Why did Vi give in so easily. I mean after all she has been through i can’t see her just giving in that easily. Oh well maybe the moment was too good to give-up since she could have her powers raised. I still don’t see how Syndrome got her to want what he had in store.

Its well written but lacks some umph that your earlier chapters held me captive with.

Can’t wait for it. I hope you enjoy.

That was a really big twist, indeed, TSS. I don’t understand why Violet would want to get rid of her powers, and she shouldn’t have trusted Syndrome, that silly girl! :stuck_out_tongue: I wonder what he will do with Violet’s powers now… I guess you will let us know soon. You’re also doing a lot better with your grasp of the characters within the The Incredibles universe and putting them in different situations of your fanfiction.

Does this story take place before, during, or after The Incredibles?

Thanks for the review rachel. You’ll find out what Syndrome does with her powers in the next chapter. But I am sure that you can make a reasonable prediction.

And this movie takes place after the Incredibles. According to the first chapter, “Three weeks have past since the defeat of the Underminer.”