me tooo…i love that azcent.
“That iz not my dog”
What did the high tide say to the low tide?
“'Lo, tide” (Hello)
What did the low tide say to the high tide?
“Hi, tide”
What else did they say?
Nothing. They just waved.
hahaha…that was pretty good.
I love those kinds of jokes.
What did the penny say to the crazy dollar?
You aren’t making any cents!
Ugh! 
I heard that at the U.S. Mint in Denver.
We’re “the only government agency that makes sense!” I didn’t get it until i remembered that “sense” is a homophone of “cents”. 
Baaaad.
What did the salad say to the soup?
DOn’t look! I’m dressing!
The eskimo mother reads a bedtime story for her son:
“The little Tom sat in a corner…”
“Mommy, what’s a corner?”
What is white, with red spots, swinging from tree to tree?
Tarzan in a night gown.
What is a frog’s favorite drink?
Croaka Cola!
WON: ROFL! 
TSS: Where are you getting these? From biologists?
No, at the moment, I was having a refreshing soda.
My favorite superhero can stop a speeding bullet. 
Really!!! That is so cool.
Yah, but he can only do it once.
Okay here are some more…
What is green and red and goes 50 mph…
[spoil]a frog in a blender!! [/spoil]
and here the last one…
[i]Some men were discussing the bible. They were wondering how many apples Adam and Eve ate in the garden of Eden.
First Man; I think there was one apple in the Garden.
Second Man; I think there were ten apples. Adam 8 and Eve ate 2.
Third Man; I think there were sixteen apples in the Garden. Eve 8 and Adam 8 also.
Fourth Man; I think all three of you are wrong. If Eve 8 and Adam 82 that would be a total of 90 apples.
Fifth Man; You guys don’t know how to count. According to history, Eve 81 and Adam 82. That would be a total of 163 apples.
Sixth Man; Wait a minute! If Eve 81 and Adam 812 that would make a total of 893 apples.
Seventh Man; None of you guys understand the problem in the slightest. According to my figuring, if Eve 814 Adam and Adam 8124 Eve, that would be a total of 8.938 apples in the garden.[/i]
At that point the men gave up.
Al: That’s a good one! I didn’t get the last one until i pronounced each digit alone. XD
One of my favorite jokes for losers like me:
A painter, a minister, and a cowboy went to the Grand Canyon in Arizona to check out the view.
The painter says to the gorup, “What a beautiful scene to paint!”
The minister says to the group, “What a wonderful example of the beauty of God’s creation!”
The cowboy says to the group, “What a terrible place to lose a cow!”
ROFLOL
Here is a bad one.
What does Violet Parr name her dog after she finds out that it has powers?
Violick!
A113: careful with only using smileys in the post. It is considered spamming.
Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
Because he had no body to go with!
Why couldn’t the skeleton start a party?
Organ-izing is not his forte.
SCHOOLKID: Why did the skeleton…
SKELETON: Noooooooo!
SCHOOLKID: O__o
What does a Dr. Suess book and the St. Louis Rams defense have in common?
Anyone can read it.
I don’t get it, A113…