LuxoVille (the new fan-fic series!)

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#41

Chapter 17

Meanwhile, back in the neighborhoods, the residents had already gathered in the garden, discussing the situation with the young tabby and 4 other critters living in the park–now Frizzy the squirrel and Wing the cardinal were already living in the park, yet Stan the fox cub and Topper the white-tailed fawn had moved in to the park after being orphaned, together. On the other hand, they’d also figured by now that the young tabby, Luke, had been in a state of panic (or rather a trauma of some sort) right upon moving in.

Turns out, there was a careless gang of animal abusers on the loose, somewhere over the hills–though the residents had no idea why, they knew right away they had to be on the lookout: See, in LuxoVille there is an animal rescue center, and if anyone tries to break in and starts hurting the animals, they are deemed an intruder and must be forced to leave the town immediately.

Those intruders would also have to be arrested for cruelty to the animals.

Once the discussion had finished, nearly every LuxoVille citizen gathered in the garden went home–except for EVE, who owned the garden. Unfortunately, when she was just about to type up her daily gardening report, the computer had crashed…again.

Now, back in the park, Luke decided he had already spent enough time with Frizzy, Stan, Wing, and Topper. Enough for a day, as the young tabby had thought. And M-O was rather delighted to know that the young tabby was definitely going to spend time with him now.

But suddenly they both were facing a rather tough decision to make: Would they spend a little more time in the park, or just go home? Or possibly, where else in the downtown–and what would they do there?

And finally, the decision was made: Going home.

And the young tabby curled up in its cat bed, ready to sleep. But M-O did not snuggle up against its fur right away.

The young tabby’s rescuer, meanwhile, was in his closet, searching for boxes with collars and tags. But then after a while, he found a dark-blue collar with little white specks all over it. And for the tags, he chose one that was shaped like a lightsaber. So the rescuer then engraved the young tabby’s name, “Luke”, on the tag (along with some other info engraved on the opposite side)–and after putting the lightsaber-shaped tag on the dark-blue collar, tried really hard to be very quiet so’s to make sure the young tabby didn’t wake up and try to notice while it was being put on. Yet of course, the young tabby stayed sleeping the whole time.

And finally, when the process was done, the rescuer had also gone to sleep–shortly afterwards. And only then does the young tabby’s friend, M-O, come right up onto the cat bed, ready to snuggle against its fur once again.

And when the young tabby awoke the next morning, now with a collar around its neck, it barely noticed.

(To be continued…) *Bet you know, these Animal Rescue stories on here do tend to cover some serious issues. Hmm…

All right! Time for more bonus clips! Whoo-hoo!**

Gathered in the Clubhouse

EVE: All right, ready guys? Let’s roll the tape!

(The first video shown is of Carl Fredricksen at the phone booth across from Pizza Planet.)

Carl Fredricksen: (calls out) Yoo-hoo! Where is my caaaaannnee?

(Laughter. Next video is shown. Location: Luxo Park)

Dug: Squirrel!

Alpha: Squirrel!

Beta: Squirrel!

Gamma: Squirrel!

Omega: Squirrel!

Gamma: Squirrel!

Beta: Squirrel!

Alpha: Squirrel!

Dug: Squirrel!

(Laughter. The dog pack stares at each other. Next video is shown to take place on Supers Lane.)

Frozone: Do you know where my super suit is, Edna Mode?

Edna Mode: i[/i] Uh…no.

(Laughter.)

EVE: (to herself) These videos just keep getting funnier and funnier…

Movie Night

(Location: Monster Road)

Sulley: Mike, do you know which title to see yet?

Mike Wazowski: Well, I haven’t really decided yet. So here’s what I dug out so far…

–next scene–

M-O: What is this we’re doing again?

BURN-E: Why do you ask me for the 2nd time tonight? We’re going for a drive! (gives a big whoop in excitement))

WALL-E: (in driver’s seat, wearing hat and bow-tie) No no no. I drive. You ride like passengers.

(He tries to start the car but there is a problem.)

M-O: Oh, no! We can’t be stuck here! What’s going on up there?!

(WALL-E tries to start the car, but the engine won’t start. He tries…and tries…and tries again.)

M-O: Hurry up!

WALL-E: I…can’t. (takes out phone to call EVE, and then grunts in frustration) I hate this car sometimes…

(Suddenly, Dash runs past the car, pointing and laughing like a maniac. BURN-E jumps out of the car with an angry expression, ready to scream.)

BURN-E: Daaaaassshh!

–next scene–

(Linguini and Colette are sitting at a table with Remy and Emile.)

Emile: Where’s our food? I’m getting kinda hungry over there!

EVE: (her voice is heard) Patience, Emile. Your dinner will be there soon.

Emile: Well, who’s gonna deliver to this table? The waiter…or the waitress?

EVE: That would be me, the waitress.

Emile: Where is the waiter?

EVE: Probably back at home on Axiom Blvd., watching Star Wars with his friends. Either that, or they might have gone to a secret meeting. Clear me now?

Emile: I hear you, but I want my food!

(Everyone at the table shushes him.)

#42

Just a few quick scenes tonight…

Location: Carl Fredricksen’s backyard

(Carl and Russell are camping out in a tent.)

Carl Fredricksen: Well, that ghost story didn’t scare me too much. But they are, indeed, like a sacred tradition for camping.

Russell: Yes, but we’re in a tent. Therefore, we are camping. I just hope BURN-E would get here soon…

Carl Fredricksen: i[/i] And why did you have to invite the welder in this town?

Russell: I didn’t invite him. He invited himself. See, I ran into him, and I told him about it. So he heard about it. And I mean like, when I told him about it…

Carl Fredricksen: (raises his hand) Man. I didn’t see that one coming.

Location: Phone booth across from Pizza Planet

(Dug is talking to a squirrel on top of the phone booth.)

Dug: Oak BushyTail, I have gathered all your nuts for you. Now make my fur smooth as possible with your bushy tail.

Oak BushyTail: Afraid I can’t right now, Dug. Your dog pack was chasing me again. Now I feel embarrassed when I think about it.

Dug: Oh, no worries. But do try to remember this…I like you!

*note: I may do a full-length story about Dug and Oak BushyTail later on in this thread. Oak BushyTail is one of many squirrels living in the hollow dead-wood trees of Luxo Park. I put this concept in as courtesy to the Dog Pack, who is living in LuxoVille with the rest of the Pixar cast.

Okay, I think I’ve got one more for this…

Event: Girl’s Night Out

EVE: Females of LuxoVille, I just wanted to thank you again for coming to my house tonight. I tell you, that Edna Mode as fashion nut is driving us crazy and more than we thought of earlier.

Colette Tatou: And I agree. Yesterday she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, and she was driving me real crazy with her “No capes!” song, that by the time she left, I had ruined my dinner because it was burnt. So I had to make a tough decision on whether to recook my entire dinner or just go over to Linguini’s.

(They both stare.)

EVE: So sorry to hear you had a tough time, Colette. Maybe something from my garden or house plants would make you feel better, I hope?

Colette: Sure! I’d love to have something from there.

Okay, so that’s pretty much it for now…

#43

Chapter 18

When the young tabby had made its return to the park, expecting to meet his friends there, with his friend tagging along by its side, there was no sign of them anywhere in the park. No sign of Frizzy the squirrel, Stan the fox cub, Wing the cardinal, and Topper the white-tailed fawn anywhere. Not one single sign of the young tabby’s other friends anywhere!

Desperate, the young tabby frantically searches the park, hoping to find his friends. But after a few hours, the young tabby was hungry. Then it started to beg, and soon enough, it smelled cat food.

The young tabby started to turn, but as it reached closer to the source, it stopped. It looked up. Frizzy, Stan, Wing, and Topper were there. Trapped in cages. All at once, the young tabby freaked out!

“Oh no! No! It can’t be! Please, no!”

Luckily for our young tabby, M-O was right there. Seeing what had put the young tabby in a state of panic, he knew right away he had to get help. For now there was definitely some trouble up ahead.

“Luke. Come with me.”

The young tabby did not understand what was happening.

“But what about my friends?”

“You can’t stay here with your friends. It’s not safe. Besides, you almost got caught, too. And you would’ve been very unlucky if that happened to you. Now come.”

So down the private hiking trail they went, and towards the landfill they would go.

(To be continued…)

*Time for bonus clips!

(Linguini has fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of watching The Wizard of Oz.)

Remy: Uh, sir? You left the TV running again.

Linguini: (wakes up with a rather tired expression) Oh, great…

(Remy scurries up toward the remote to turn the TV off.)

–next scene–

EVE: Come back here! You get back here! You can’t run and hide from me! Where’d you go?

(She leans over to try and catch Mini Buzz but accidentally awakens WALL-E in the process.)

–next scene–

Geri: Well, Fredricksen. So nice of you to join me in this game of chess tonight.

Carl Fredricksen: What do you mean by that? It’s only the middle of the afternoon.

Geri: Oh yes, that I understand. But hard to play chess? I get that a lot.

–next scene–

Mike Wazowski: You know, Sullivan, it was nice to spend some time with Boo for a while. But now I’ve got a date with Celia.

Sulley: Whatever you say. Take care of yourself.

(Celia arrives on the front porch just as Wazowski exits through the door.)

Mike Wazowski: Okay, Celia. Where to?

Celia Mae: I don’t know.

Mike Wazowski: Oh yeah? Well, need I remind you: Tonight is all about just you and me. Sweet!

–next scene–

(Bob and Lucius are just sitting in the car, not knowing what they want to do.)

Bob Parr: Is there anything we should do tonight?

(Pause)

Lucius Best: Gosh darn it…

Bob Parr: (turns toward Lucius) Excuse me?

Lucius Best: Uh…nothing. Nothing.

#44

Chapter 19

“What are we doing here? What’s going on?”

“This is a landfill. I’ll be seeking some help from here.”

“That’s impossible.”

“Not if someone’s working here.”

“Who’s working here?”

“Probably someone I know…if he was here.”

“Can I come in?”

“No, Luke. You stay right here. I’m gonna go in and seek help.”

“Whatever you say.”

So Luke would patiently wait for his friend outside the gate that leads right into the landfill, while M-O goes in to try and seek help from one of the comrades working there.

Now the young tabby didn’t know why, but sometime later it was feeling so bored and hungry, he began to wonder:

What is taking him so long?

Evidently, the young tabby decided it couldn’t wait there any longer.

So then it took off–but not into the landfill. No. The young tabby took off in another direction: Towards the park, through the downtown, and into the neighborhoods.

But where did the young tabby want to go? It didn’t have a clue.

Then it remembered exactly where it wanted to go.

Back to the home of his rescuer he would go.

(To be continued…)

*Time for bonus clips!

(Mike Wazowski attempts another comedy routine on-stage at the LuxoVille clubhouse.)

Mike Wazowski: Ladies and gentlemen…

Sulley: (his voice is heard from nearby) You forgot the other subjects!

Mike Wazowski: Ladies and gentlemen, and to all our other subjects here, including, but not limited to…

Sulley: (his voice is heard) Uh, let me handle this.

Mike Wazowski: Sullivan! Please do not interrupt me again! As I was saying, ladies and gentlemen, and to all you other subjects up there, including, but not limited to, you other monsters…

Sulley: (voice is heard) Mike, would you get off the stage already?!

Mike Wazowski: Not finished, Sullivan! Geez! What’s up with you? Now then, ladies and gentlemen, and to our other subjects, including, but not limited to, you other monsters like myself, and to all of our other, other subjects, be it rats, robots, and our town’s resident Toy Gang…

Sulley: (his voice is heard) Cut! What is your problem?!

Mike Wazowski: Darn! I only mentioned 5 subjects, and now you won’t let me mention the rest?! What is your problem?

Sulley: (voice is heard) I do not know.

Mike Wazowski: What do you mean you don’t know?

Sulley: (voice is heard) That I just said. I clearly just don’t know.

Mike Wazowski: Then why do you keep interrupting my comedy routine?!

Sulley: (appears on stage, then points finger at Wazowski) I want you…to get off the stage…and let me…have a turn.

(Slight pause. Everyone bursts into laughter.)

#45

(Brock is on the porch swing, questioning his handsome form.)

Brock Pearson: Do you really think I’m handsome?

BURN-E: (leans over to comfort him) Yes, Brock. You…are…so…handsome…to me.

Brock Pearson: What are you trying to do, hug me?

BURN-E: (is still leaning his head down on him) No. But I did feel your need for some comfort.

Brock Pearson: So that’s why you’re leaning on me.

BURN-E: Sorry about that, if it seems to bother you.

Brock Pearson: And why do you even carry that thing around?

BURN-E: i[/i] Are you referring to the tank on my back?

Brock Pearson: Yes…

BURN-E: I only take that off when I take my torch off.

Brock Pearson: And when do you usually do that?

BURN-E: I…don’t really know. I usually keep that stuff on me…

Brock Pearson: Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable?

BURN-E: Well, it doesn’t bother me at all.

Brock Pearson: Not even when your sitting down or laying on something?

BURN-E: Not at all. And by the way, my friends would never question me about that kind if stuff. Usually, they just like me the way I am.

WALL-E: (his voice is heard) I heard that. (reveals himself reading a Sci-Fi comic book)

Brock Pearson: And…what are you reading?

WALL-E: (shows himself, but holds on to comic book) Just reading some Dr. Who comics.

(Slight pause. Brock cracks up.)

Brock Pearson: You’re reading what?! Dr. Who comics?! (he is still cracking up)

(Suddenly, Mustafa shows up out of nowhere.)

Mustafa: Salt and pepper! I mean, uh…hello.

(He tries to sit down on the same porch swing as Brock and BURN-E but can’t seem to fit in.)

BURN-E: You know, a single porch swing can only hold so much on weight…in terms of who’s sitting down on it.

Mustafa: Oh, my bad. By the way, my porch light is flickering. Can’t you fix it?

BURN-E: Oh, I’d love to fix your porch light for you, but I’m kinda hanging out with handsome guy Brock right now.

Mustafa: I can see that. Later, guys! i[/i]

(There is a slight pause.)

Brock Pearson: What now?

BURN-E: You know, maybe I could stay overnight at your place if you wanted to. I mean, my friends and I, we’ve been waiting to have a sleepover with you for quite some time. Your friend, Claire, on the other hand, may have already planned a sleepover with them other females on their Night Out.

Brock Pearson: And how do you know this? On what she’s got planned for tonight?

WALL-E: Eva told me, so I told him.

Brock Pearson: Why do you even call her like that?

WALL-E: I don’t really know about that one.

(Slight pause)

Brock Pearson: Is it really SleepOver night?

BURN-E: Yes it is. There we’re so many of us requesting for it. And here it is.

Brock Pearson: Requested by how many?

BURN-E: I don’t know. Several, I think.

(Suddenly, Mator comes flying past.)

BURN-E: What the…?! Keep that UFM away from me, please!

#46

Chapter 20

When the young tabby (Luke) had gotten its food and returned to the park, he was rather surprised to find that none of his friends had been let out yet, and his other friend (M-O) had not come back from the landfill.

So Luke waited there for a while longer, hoping to keep up his patience. Unfortunately, however, by the end of the day he had clearly lost his patience, for now the young tabby was bored.

Poor Luke tippy-toed all the way home, drooping in his whiskers and pointy ears.

Meanwhile, in the landfill, M-O was still looking for a comrade to try and get attention to this very help the young tabby needed for his friends. Unfortunately for him, the whole mission had not been successful.

So he finally comes right out from the landfill by the end of the day, wondering where Luke is.

Of course, as for the animals still in their cages, an apology had to be sent:

“Sorry about your luck, critters. Unfortunately, I was not able to get any help for you. Guess we better wait a little longer, until I can find someone to help you guys out.”

And the animals all agreed, hoping to keep up with their self-confidence.

And back to Axiom Blvd. M-O would go, hoping the little kitten was all right.

There he found Luke in his cat bed, all curled up and having eaten his dinner. But the young tabby’s rescuer (WALL-E) had already found out what happened with the mission from Luke telling him. So while Luke was asleep, the 2 robotic friends would soon have a discussion with their other friends across town, figuring out a way to help save Luke and his other animal friends while keeping Luke safe, before the bad guys, being a careless gang of animal abusers, should ever come back in search of the creatures to try and beat them up, possibly coming into town and triggering some form of intruder alert.

But Luke, having sometime later awakened in the middle of the night, was really deep down inside still worried about Frizzy, Stan, Wing, and Topper–hoping the rescue mission would go a little faster, let alone be successfully done on time.

And that night, all across town, new solutions were made for this mission. And there were still no signs of them intruders anywhere, so all was good in the area. And everything still seemed well.

(To be continued…)

EDIT: Eliminated bonus segment for plot errors.

#47

Chapter 21

Now Luke had been hiding underneath a picnic table since early dawn, but now it was daylight, so the young tabby could clearly see what had actually happened last night. Frizzy, Stan, Wing, and Topper had all been let out of the traps–and also well fed.

Yet Luke would suddenly begin to wonder, who might have done this?

He then heard a rustling sound in the bushes, not too far away from the picnic shed. Wondering who it was, Luke proceeded to tippy-toe slowly out from underneath this picnic table, and quietly left the picnic shed, toward the bushes from which the rustling sound came.

But this was not just a rustling sound he heard: From what he could hear within the same group of bushes, there was also a faint whirring sound too.

Luke could not figure it out. Was that his rescuer? Or his other friend?

Neither. It was a comrade.

And this had gotten Luke pretty confused.

Then they both just stood there. While Luke was pretty much confused and uncertain on what was going on, surely this comrade would know.

(To be continued…)

*Time for bonus clips!

Gathered in the Clubhouse

Mike Wazowski: All right, me various subjects! Put your three cheers up for…the Mike Wazowski Comedian Show!

(As the stage light comes on and points directly at the green-eyed monster, the crowd starts to boo.)

Mike Wazowski: Uh, excuse me. You’re not supposed to be booing!

(Slight pause. Everyone starts laughing.)

Mike Wazowski: What are you laughing at?

(Everyone is still laughing.)

Mike Wazowski: Okay, guys. Seriously. If you do not tell me whatever it is you’re laughing at right now, I’m gonna have to cancel my show.

Everyone: Oooooh…

(As Wazowski tries to exit the stage, everyone points at him with various gasps and “oohs” and “aahs”.)

BURN-E: (his voice is heard from somewhere within the crowd) Hey, Wazowski! Quit wasting time, we haven’t got all day!

(Wazowski suddenly stops and turns toward the audience.)

Mike Wazowski: Who said that?

BURN-E: (raises hand to reveal himself) I did.

(Everyone starts laughing, but Wazowski is confused.)

BURN-E: Get back onstage and continue your show.

Mike Wazowski: What?

(BURN-E has to push his way through the crowd to get to Wazowski.)

BURN-E: I said, “Get back onstage and continue your show!”

Mike Wazowski: Oh my gosh, get your face out of mine!

(Laughter.)

BURN-E: i[/i] I’m gonna attack you if you don’t comply.

(More laughter.)

Mike Wazowski: No you don’t.

BURN-E: Yes I do. Now come on back to the stage.

Mike Wazowski: I am not going back onstage!

BURN-E: Then why don’t you join me?

Mike Wazowski: I am so not joining you!

(Laughter.)

BURN-E: Join me, and together we shall rule the stage as Wazowski and BURN-E!

Mike Wazowski: Never!

(He tries to run toward the door but finds himself blocked. Everyone starts laughing.)

BURN-E: Nice try. You’re not going anywhere, Wazowski.

Mike Wazowski: No, stop! Please! Leave me alone! Yikes! Somebody help me!

(Everyone is still laughing.)

Mike Wazowski: I give up! Make it stop!

BURN-E: Oh for crying out loud, would you please just come onstage with me?

Mike Wazowski: I would love to, but I can’t!

(Everyone suddenly falls silent. Wazowski exits the clubhouse, left in sudden thoughts on his embarrassing situation. Celia is there, just standing outside and waiting for him.)

Celia Mae: What say we go and have our date night somewhere else?

Mike Wazowski: Yes of course. Thanks a lot.

Celia Mae: No problem.

(They both stroll away happily.)

#48

Finally! After 10 whole days, I’ve decided to make more segments in this fan-fic. (LOL I got distracted.)

Chapter 22

“Who are you? You look just like my rescuer.”

“Hey, kitten. That’s my leader you’re talking about. I’m one of his comrades. My number is 42.”

“And my name’s not kitten. It’s Luke.”

“Luke? Why do you call yourself Luke?”

The young tabby just stood there in silence, hesitating for a moment or two, trying to remember how he had gotten his name.

Then he remembered.

“I think it’s because of that movie I saw.”

“You named yourself after a Star Wars character?”

“What’s his last name?”

“Skywalker.”

“Oh.”

“Did you see what I done last night?”

Luke turns his attention to the bushes, then turns his attention back to the comrade a moment later.

“You saved them?”

“Yes.”

“So you opened the traps…”

“Yes.”

“…and you let them out…”

“Yes.”

“…and you fed them?”

“Yes.”

Luke turns his attention to the bushes again.

“So, how did you manage to open the traps and let them out?”

“I used my laser.”

“What laser?”

“The one between my eyes.”

“And why do you even need that laser?”

“Why do you question me about my functions?”

“Nothing. I just want to see my friends.”

The comrade just stares toward that direction with a blank expression.

“I don’t think now’s a good time to do so.”

Luke turns his attention toward Frizzy, Stan, Wing, and Topper, who, at this moment, are running away in the opposite direction.

Then they both turn their attention toward the bushes, and could hear the sound of rustling that was coming closer and closer.

“Not good.” the comrade said to himself. He could feel a scared Luke trying to hide underneath.

Then a strange, menacing figure comes right out of the bushes, among a few others, and said with a rather mean voice:

“Get…that…kitten!”

And at that very moment, both the kitten and the comrade were so scared, they screamed, their eyes gone wide with shocked expressions. In fact, the scream that came right out from Comrade 42 was so loud and high-pitched, the whole gang suddenly fainted or collapsed to the ground, giving him and Luke enough time to make a run for it.

Meanwhile, back at the landfill, the other comrades suddenly stop, and tilt their heads, turning their attention toward the direction of the sound.

Various other units from nearby had also turned toward the same direction as well.

They knew there was trouble in the area.

(To be continued…)

*Time for bonus clips!

Movie Night

Violet Parr: Kari, what movie do you wish to view tonight?

Kari McKeen: I don’t really know. But I did just give you a few suggestions a short while ago. Let’s see…(takes out her diary)…Wizard of Oz, Little Rascals, Matilda, Splash…

Violet Parr: Matilda! Matilda! I…choose…Matilda.

Luxo Park

BURN-E: Ahem. M-O? Would you please just get out of there, from underneath the picnic table?

(M-O turns his attention to the sound of a familiar voice.)

M-O: BURN-E? Is that you?

BURN-E: Yes, it’s me. Please come out of your hiding place. You really shouldn’t be that scared anymore. I’m right here. I’ve been looking all over for you all day!

(M-O comes out from his hiding place, slowly approaching his friend. Then BURN-E picks him right up in his hand, and gives him a hug.)

BURN-E: You’re my very best friend.

M-O: Aww…

(BURN-E puts his friend back down, but manages to take his hand before he could scurry away.)

BURN-E: Please try to understand. I’d never abandon you. (points his torch toward M-O’s chest) I’ll always be right there in your heart.

M-O: And what’s the point of that?

BURN-E: The point being, if you’re alone and I’m not there, you really shouldn’t be so scared.

Sample Scene #1

[i]Carl Fredricksen is having a boring day. He tried to turn on the television, but it was broke. He tried to play chess with Geri, but lost the game because he couldn’t concentrate and kept forgetting how to play. Then he tried to sit down on one of the park benches, but after a while he felt so uncomfortable he had to get himself up.

Now he is in his own backyard, with a feeling of boredom, not really knowing what else there was for him to do.[/i]

Sample Scene #2

Dug: Here, scare pig. Fetch!

(Dug tosses a stick, but Archie just stares.)

Dug: Fetch, scare pig. Fetch! Fetch, I say!

(Archie runs over to fetch the stick, and hands it back to Dug.)

Dug: Want to play it again?

Archie the Scare Pig: (with squealing voice) Uh…no.

Sample Scene #3

(Linguini is trying to carry too many dishes at once.)

Remy: Uh, Linguini? You better be careful, or else you’re gonna drop that.

Alfredo Linguini: (is still struggling to keep the dishes from slipping out with his arms) I’m…trying!

(Suddenly, the dishes are dropped, and we can hear a long crashing sound as all the dishes are dropped to the floor. The LuxoVille citizens are there, also trying to enjoy a nice quiet evening, but right as soon as the crashing sound is heard, every one of them suddenly stops in the middle of whatever it was they were doing–whether at tables or not–and they all turn their attention to Linguini, who is now in a guilty mood from having dropped all the dishes.)

Alfredo Linguini: (trying to call out his apology to everyone in the restaurant) I’m sorry! Please don’t chase me out. I’m really sorry about your dishes. Please just forgive me and let it be done and over with!

(Linguini is just about to leave the place on his own when he hears a squeaky whirring sound approaching from behind him.)

Alfredo Linguini: (to himself) Oh, please. I’m not really in the mood.

(Linguini proceeds to exit the building, and starts his walk through the downtown. He stops for a moment or two, trying to decide whether to visit the park or just go home, and finally decides to just go back to his neighborhood. So back to his house he would go, and in that direction he was now headed, barely noticing a faint noise trying to follow.)

(By the time Linguini reached his home, he turns to see if anyone was following him, but finds no one but himself. Then he goes in, and plops on the couch with a movie of his choice. He makes it through the whole movie, without any phone calls or doorbells or knocks to distract him. Yet there were other things that sometimes distracted him from the movie, like reading the newspaper and stuff.)

(Then he decides to take a shower. Once he was out and in his pajamas, he decides to have a snack and read some more. And soon afterwards, he then moves on into his room, ready to go climbing in his bed and to fall asleep under the covers.)

(Sometime later, in the middle of the night, Linguini felt himself being snapped out of his dream state. He slowly opens his eyes, and can actually hear the back door being opened. Thinking there was a ghost in the house, Linguini tries to hide himself in the covers, in which he manages to do so. But then the bedroom door was opened, and through a light in the hallway, we see a very familiar shadow slowly coming into the room.)

(But still, Linguini had thought it was a ghost, out to get him. Really scared, he flips over to his other side, still hiding under the covers. Then after a while, the noise had stopped, and Linguini found himself falling right back asleep in no time. And of course the hallway light had been turned out!)

Just Like The Good Old Days

Dug: Ready or not, Oak Bushytail, here I come!

(The squirrel comes scurrying out from the bushes.)

Dug: Oh, you nearly scared me! I didn’t know it was your turn to count.

Oak Bushytail: Sorry, Dug. I’m just not up for playing hide-n-seek right now. You see all those piles of nuts over there? I need to store some in my hollow tree, if you don’t mind.

Dug: Not at all, Bushytail. Go ahead.

(The squirrel then proceeds to do about his business while Dug leaves the park and heads downtown, not wanting to disturb his friend.)

#49

(Violet has fallen asleep on the couch, along with Kari, and both of them are dreaming.)

In Violet’s dream:

Violet Parr: i[/i] Where…am…I?

(She looks around to find herself floating along on top of a white, fluffy cloud.)

Violet Parr: Hey, I’m cloud-watching!

(Suddenly, she falls…)

Violet Parr: Oh, nooooo!

(…and finds herself in the middle of a forest.)

Violet Parr: (in reference to the leaves being pink) Bubblegum trees? You’ve gotta be kidding me!

(Suddenly, Dash appears out of nowhere, wearing a hula and ribbons, plus a bandana.)

Violet Parr: Ah! What have you done?!

Dash Parr: It wasn’t my fault. They took me to the Wild West and started to dress me up like a girl!

Violet Parr: They did what to you?

(Dash disappears before he could answer.)

Violet Parr: Hey, Dash! Come back here! You didn’t even answer yet!

(There is laughter in the background. Violet turns to find the Dog Pack, Reject Bots, and the chefs staring at her. The whole Dog Pack are obviously wearing party hats.)

Violet Parr: What are you laughing at?

Mustafa: (points a finger at Violet–he is wearing a party hat, too) You are so…naked!

(Violet looks at herself to find she is in her underwear. She tries to scream but nothing comes out. Everyone is laughing at her. She tries to run but can’t seem to get away.)

Mustafa: I told you so!

Meanwhile, in Kari’s dream…

Kari McKeen: I’ll never give you my diary!

(Jack-Jack just stares, then suddenly bursts into flames.)

Kari McKeen: Help! Baby on fire! Baby on fire!

(Jack-Jack suddenly disappears.)

Kari McKeen: Where did baby Jack-Jack go?

(Suddenly, the whole setting is changed. This time, Kari finds herself in a rather small and strange room.)

Kari McKeen: What is this place?

(She tries to look around but can’t get very far.)

Kari McKeen: Where am I? I don’t want to be alone in the dark!

(Kari looks again and realizes she isn’t really alone at all.)

Kari McKeen: What are you in here for?

BURN-E: I got in trouble for putting the Cone of Shame on Gamma.

Kari McKeen: You did what?!

Gamma: (his voice can be heard from within the darkness) I got in trouble, too.

(Kari tries to scream for wanting to be let out but nothing comes out.)

(Then Violet and Kari both wake up, only to find Dash staring right at them.)

Dash Parr: So sorry I messed up your dreams again last night!

Kari McKeen: (looks around, just barely awake) What time is it?

Dash Parr: Uh…10:00?

Violet Parr and Kari McKeen: Ten o’clock?!

Dash Parr: Just kidding. It’s not really that late in the morning.

Violet Parr: Well, now that you mention it…

Kari McKeen: We both had crazy dreams last night.

Dash Parr: Oh, no…

–next scene–

Mr. Potato Head: Aha! You cannot pass through me, unless you promise to not obsess!

Mini Buzz: I’ll show you!

(Mini Buzz attempts to make circles around everyone in the toy gang.)

Woody: Hey, stop that! You’re making us all go dizzy.

Mini Buzz: Who cares if you’re dizzy or not? All I want is for someone here in town to play with me!

Mr. Potato Head: You better stop that.

(Mini Buzz suddenly finds himself rolling backwards.)

Mr. Potato Head: Great. Now what is he doing? It’s gonna freak me out.

Woody: I think he’s pretending to be Mater…

Mr. Potato Head: Why would that Mini Buzz pretend to be Mater? He’s a fun-meal toy, not a tow truck!

(They both stare for one brief moment before bursting into laughter.)

–next scene–

Alfredo Linguini: Ah, there’s nothing like a breath of fresh air–and reading the paper, of course.

(Suddenly, a mail wagon pulls right up to the front porch, and stops there. The two Lucky Numbers–or, in this case, Comrades 7 & 13–are obviously pulling the wagon.)

Alfredo Linguini: (to himself) Oh my gosh, mail’s here.

(He walks up to his mailbox, and finds a letter from Russell. Apparently, Russell had forgotten to tell him earlier that he was hosting a sleepover at his house tonight and they needed him to bring soda.)

Alfredo Linguini: Bring the soda? You’ve got to be kidding me!

#50

Chapter 23

Meanwhile, all throughout the downtown–and possibly into the neighborhoods–everyone else had also heard the distant scream, and now they were facing the same direction, towards the park, knowing right away there had been a disturbance.

Then they see Comrade 42 rushing by, still carrying Luke in his hands, and the citizens knew right away there was definitely some trouble in the area.

Meanwhile, having reached Axiom Blvd., there was the comrade, having placed Luke gently down, banging on the door and crying out rather desperately:

“Help! Open up! Inside there! Leader! Let me in! Quickly!”

Then the door opens, and as Comrade 42 steps into the house, Luke jumps off, and proceeds to his spot. Of course, the bed and scratching post were still there. His food and water dishes had been refilled, his litter box was cleaned, and Luke found himself not only a bit sleepy, but also rather hungry.

So while Luke was eating from his cat bowl, he could actually hear the conversation between the comrade and his leader, who is also Luke’s rescuer:

“They did what?!”

“There were six guys who just, suddenly, jumped right out from the bushes. And one of them, who I think is their leader, said ‘Get that kitten!’. And then they all fell to the ground after I screamed from what was said.”

“Are you sure there were traps in the park?”

“Yes. I saw those early this morning.”

“And there were critters trapped in there?”

“Uh…yes.”

“Did you let them out?”

“Well, of course I let them out.”

“With what?”

“The laser.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I almost forgot about that.”

“Hmm…”

“So then what happened?”

“I ran, and none of them saw me, 'cause they were unconscious.”

“The gang?”

“Yeah.”

By this time, Luke had finished his meal, and was already climbing up back into his bed, only to find a cockroach staring right at him:

“What are you looking at?”

There is a slight pause in the conversation, as Luke is already curling up in his cat bed, ready to fall asleep.

“I’d better head back to the landfill and alert the others at once.”

“Well, good luck with that. I better call my friends and have them notify our neighbors of the situation. Just want to make sure everyone in town should be aware of this.”

“Do you have to do that?”

“I’ve got no other choice. There could be animal abusers in this area, from what you told me.”

“Exactly. And we don’t want those guys in our town. I tell you, if that gang tries to steal our kitten–and I’m pretty sure they’re also involved with traps, which I already destroyed–they’ll have no other choice but to find themselves arrested immediately.”

“But what are we to do if they don’t comply?”

“Guess we’d have to wait and find out, I presume?”

“I think you better go now.”

“Okay.”

Now the comrade had left, and Luke was still asleep, but the young tabby’s rescuer (also the comrade’s leader) was somehow eager to get to the phone and let everyone in town know they need to be on alert. He’d try not to wake the kitten up. And it didn’t. So it worked out just fine.

Later on, when Luke had finally awakened, it was just him and the cockroach. But it wasn’t the cockroach that Luke was concerned about. He was more concerned about something else.

Well, there was no one home, but he wasn’t really concerned about that either.

There seemed to be a faint noise coming from somewhere in the area, but it was too far away for Luke to hear. With the cockroach following along, Luke peeked his head out through the flap door, and could actually hear the noise a bit better. He then came out as fast as he could, and ran straight to the next house on his right.

Having peeked inside through one of the windows, he began scratching at the door. No answer. He scratched again, this time a bit faster. Still no response. Then he began to meow.

From inside the house, WALL-E and EVE could hear the kitten’s scratching and meowing outside the door, and from that very sound of those desperate cries, now they both began to sense that something was wrong.

By this time, Luke was really starting to yowl, and the two ran out as fast as they could. Then they could hear what appeared to be intrusion alarms going off in the distance. If this wasn’t enough for Luke to handle, one by one, everyone was starting to run right out of their houses and heading to the gate as fast as they could.

This included just about everyone else in the neighborhood that Luke was in right now.

Now BURN-E had just received a phone call from another citizen stating there was really something wrong going on in the area, from which EVE is trying to inquire the situation:

“What’s going on?”

“Someone broke into the rescue center!”

Having heard this, WALL-E hurried to get Luke back into the house and take care of the kitten’s basic needs (and get his cockroach pet, Hal, fed of course). He was pretty sure that EVE would be waiting for him while he did that, which she did.

And as everyone disappeared quickly out of the neighborhood, Luke looked toward that direction, where in the distance he could hear the last footsteps (alongside scampering paws and whirring sounds plus some other noises coming from other subjects, of course) fading toward the gate and out.

And Luke could hear no more of that. All he could hear was the sound of his own breathing–and his purring, of course. For now, it was just him and the cockroach once again.

Yet everything else in the house seemed so still, so quiet.

And only then does Luke really start playing with all the cat toys that had just been laid out for him.

(To be continued…)

*I think it’s time once again for…bonus clips! (Yes!)

Sample Scene #1

Oak Bushytail, one of LuxoVille Park’s resident squirrels, has just finished storing the last of his daily nuts within his hollow tree. Dug comes into the park to visit his friend, who is resting on a branch alongside a cluster of bushes.

Dug: Hello, squirrel. I mean, Oak Bushytail. How are you? Wanna play?

Oak Bushytail: Not at this moment, we can’t. Go find someone else to play with, if you could do just that. I just finished up a long busy day and I need some rest, thank you very much.

Dug: Oh, sorry about that. Don’t tell me…

Oak Bushytail: Yes, Dug. I was storing my nuts all through the day again. Why don’t you go and play with Archie the Scare Pig? He might be able to go somewhere and do something with you. Besides, you seem to hang out with him a lot these days.

Dug: Are you saying we can’t be friends anymore?

Oak Bushytail: Look, Dug. It’s not like I’m gonna be moving on anytime soon. Of course we can still be friends. It’s just you should’ve been here earlier when I wasn’t this tired, if you know what I mean.

Dug: Oh, right then. I got it now.

Sample Scene #2

Mustafa: Would you please get off the phone?! I got a very important phone call to make!

Russell: (is still talking on phone) Hold on for one moment there, please. (turns toward Mustafa) Mustafa, I was here first. You need to wait until I finish. Okay? (continues phone conversation) Sorry about that. Mustafa’s in the phone booth and getting really impatient.

WALL-E: (on other end of the phone line) I really hope that guy isn’t getting impatient about some important phone call of his just so he can try and waste everyone’s minutes by asking them for salt and pepper shakers.

(While Russell bursts into laughter, Mustafa gets really frustrated, and starts stomping around the phone booth.)

Mustafa: Ooh, darn that wilderness explorer in the phone booth! Darn that robot on the other end of that line! Darn you cooks and chefs in the kitchen! Darn that family of supers and green-eyed monster in his comedy routine and buck-toothed tow truck driving backwards! Darn that Mini Buzz always wanting to be played with! How dare you try to mess with me! How dare you reveal my secret like that! Oh my gosh! This is so not happening to me!

Just Like The Good Old Days

Carl Fredricksen is sitting at a table with Geri, both of them unable to decide whether to play chess or not and just staring down at the game boards plus all the pieces and the box from which it came out of.

Geri: Would you rather have us do something else today? I don’t feel like playing chess right now.

(They both stare.)

Carl Fredricksen: (to himself) Gosh darn it.

EDIT: Decided to eliminate part of a segment due to plot errors.

#51

Chapter 24

“Hello? This is Comrade 42. Those six guys who fell unconscious at the park are in the downtown. I think they’re trying to break into the rescue center. I just caught a glimpse of that on my way through, so you’d better alert the others at once. Oh, and please hurry! Whatever this is, I’ll bet they’re up to no good.”

That’s what the comrade had said from the phone booth on his way back. Unfortunately, since he was unable to get a hold of his leader, he had to call one of his friends. Now the comrade was back in the landfill, trying to explain the whole situation to the others.

In case the situation got worse, they all knew what to do.

Now the citizens of LuxoVille had just arrived at the rescue center, trying to figure out a way to stop those bad guys and drive them out of town.

“Those intruders are up to no good. What should we do about them?”

“We have to try and stop them! Those guys are after our tabby. Just what exactly do they want with our tabby?”

“I don’t really know. But whatever this is, they’re up to no good.”

The animals in the rescue center were very scared. But the leader of the gang was too busy dealing with his accomplices in their state of argument. His accomplices, however, were too reluctant to help him. So while the leader had tried to boss them around, the other 5 guys just stood there, looking rather scared of him.

“I don’t care what you guys are thinking with scared looks like that. I must get that tabby! Now help me to find it!”

“Now wait a minute! You hypnotized us to join you in this…uh, whatever this is…and you’ve been getting worse ever since!”

“I don’t care. I want that tabby gone. Besides, I don’t care about animals. I need cash, and I need it now. And if you guys are not gonna pay up by the time I finish this…”

Outside, the LuxoVille citizens are shocked to hear what the leader of the gang was saying.

“Did you hear what he just said? That gang leader is abusing animals because he only cares about money. I’ll bet he hypnotized those other guys into beating up the young tabby’s family. So they’re gonna do the same to our runaway survivor!”

“I don’t know…those other 5 guys look like they’re scared of that one guy now.”

At that moment, the 5 guys come right out, having decided not to help that mean guy any further.

“That’s it. We quit!”

“I do not know why we joined him in the first place, but whatever this is, we are so not gonna pay him for that!”

“And this is why we just now decided to quit! I hate that guy. I hate him! Hate, hate, hate!”

The LuxoVille citizens just stare for a moment. The 5 guys stare, too.

“Wise decision. We will not tolerate any abuse of our animals here whatsoever.”

“I can see that. Now you only have one trouble-maker to deal with. You guys can stop him, right?”

“Yes, of course. We’ll stop him, all right. But as a town of multiple subjects, we all have our own methods.”

“I can see that, too. Now we leave, my friends.”

So the 5 guys, having turned good again, left town. And the LuvoVille citizens knew now that the worst was yet to be dealt with.

They knew the one trouble-maker left would definitely be soon outnumbered.

(To be continued…)

EDIT: This fan fic has already gone through several posts and is still lacking in feedback. Seriously, there has only ever been one feedback post so far, and I don’t want to get in trouble for excessive posting. Yes, I’ve been reading and reviewing other users’ fan fics here (as suggested by JustSoWall-eCrazy via private message), but what am I doing wrong with this one? Is it something to do with the link in my signature, or does the title need changed? And if it’s neither one, should the first post be edited for this to include a poll?

SECOND (FULL) EDIT: Okay, I just went through every post and changed the title. Maybe that will help draw more attention… (Seriously, this fan-fic series is in desperate need of feedback and I don’t want to get in trouble for this. Therefore, I think it only be fair that I continue to refrain from making any more segments until then.)

THIRD (POST) EDIT: Okay, I just edited the first post to create a poll. And now that this fan fic series thread has a poll, that way I can tell whether or not other members are actually reading my fan fic! (Remember: I’m still waiting for feedback that’s desperately needed and I don’t want to get in trouble for this.)

–evspixarfan2012

#52

Now in hopes to bring more attention to this here fan fic, I have come up with a list of upcoming stories which I’ve had in my head for weeks:

(1) Sulley and Mike have just built themselves a house…now they’re ready to build a town! But while the others start moving in, they somehow come closer and closer to finding a perfect name for their town. That is, until they find the inspiration for it (with a lamp!).

(2) The monsters have finished moving in, so Mike and Sulley have got everyone on the list. They think everything about their town is perfect…until superheroes start moving in!

(3) First there were monsters. Then there were supers. And then came cars, followed by rats. (Well, the monsters weren’t expecting that many more subjects to start moving in so soon!) But one night, some strange things start happening all over town. So everyone notices and demands to find out what might’ve caused it. And where do they put the blame on first? Their most unwanted guests: the villains!

(4) So obviously, everything they tried didn’t work. But the whole town is still seeing strange things popping up here and there–seemingly taking place overnight as of late. Still demanding to know the source, the citizens decide to start a new tradition (and in hopes that the rats will soon find out what).

(5) Over 10 full moons have passed, and the rats have still not yet found the source. Now the whole town is growing frustrated. And if that wasn’t enough for our waiters and waitresses to handle, both of their groups have also completely lost their leaderships! So the 2 groups decide to write letters in hopes to find a new leader.

(6) Edna Mode hears some really strange howling in the middle of the night (among the rest of the town, who have already begun reporting some strange noises waking them up as well). Thinking there was a coyote in their town, Edna decides to set some live traps out in the park in order to try and catch it. But when the next full moon suddenly comes in a few days later, the rats soon find out the truth. (And this one’s no critter!)

If there are 2 other stories I’ve got in my head right now, these would be:

(1) When Dug meets a resident squirrel named Oak Bushytail, who is determined to keep their newly found friendship a secret

–and–

(2) When Claire and Brock move in

So, uh…what do you guys think of these ideas? (Oh, and don’t forget the feedback!)

–evspixarfan2012

#53

Get ready for a whole new set of frequent stories and segments–'cause I’m back! (And please, for my sake, give me the feedback I need most.)

LuxoVille: Early Beginnings

Intro

[i]Now one fine night at mid-summer season, in a wide-open space where all seemed perfectly still, a small group of friends come traveling by foot, hoping to find a place to settle. For quite a while had they been on this journey, all in search of a perfect spot to build the town of their very own. But on that very night, somewhere in mid-August, they stopped to rest in that very patch of open grass–and being as tired as they were, decided that they themselves had found the perfect place to stay.

The small group of friends who finally decided to settle that night was very unique–consisting of a small desk lamp that played with its ball, 2 different kinds of toys who came to life (being cowboy doll and space ranger action figure), a tall old man whose favorite game was chess, a rather accidental but somewhat inventive ant, a tall bluish bird who seemed kinda shy, a couple of not-so-scary monsters (one being furry and with horns, the other being a green-eyed and also round), and a young clownfish with his constantly waving tiny fin on one side. But this begins, of course, the story of a town called LuxoVille–and with this, the first in the series, I give you the early days of this very place.[/i]

(To be continued…)

#54

(EVE is at her desk, typing up daily gardening reports on her computer. Violet comes in through the front door and walks right up to her.)

Violet Parr: Excuse me, my computer’s down. Can you help me fix this flash drive so I can put the back-ups in?

(EVE logs off and turns toward Violet, still floating at her desk.)

EVE: What do you mean, “your computer’s down and you can’t do back-ups”?

Violet Parr: I don’t know why my computer crashed…but I did see Mini Buzz trying to use my flash drive.

EVE: i[/i] Mini Buzz broke your flash drive?!

Violet Parr: Yes, he did. I saw him do that!

(A crashing sound is suddenly heard from within the household. They both hurry to investigate, only to find that most of the house plants had already been knocked over. Violet just stands there, looking at the mess–but EVE face palms with a groan.)

EVE: (almost sounding like she’s crying with a sad face) Why doesn’t that Mini Buzz just go and play with Tinny? Just look at my beautiful house plants, completely destroyed! Oh, my precious favorite things! Nooooo…

(They both hug each other. Then suddenly…)

Violet Parr: Augh! Something’s on my back!

(They both jump. Then they see Mini Buzz.)

Mini Buzz: Come, my good caretakers! It is plaaaaayyytime!

Violet Parr: Uh…no it’s not. And by the way, look what you’ve done to my flash drive!

(EVE faces her desk again, only to find that the desktop screen has blackened. Then she turns back to Violet.)

EVE: Err…Vi? I think my computer just crashed.

#55

Alpha: A secret?! Why does that pesky little squirrel want to keep our newly formed friendship a secret?

Dug: I don’t know, Alpha. He just does.

Alpha: Does he have any specific reason for why he wants to keep this a secret?

Dug: I don’t really know. I tried to ask him when he said that, but he didn’t answer. Now the only reason I can think of right now is from something he did tell me while introducing himself, which comes from the fact that he had just moved in to the park not too long ago…

Alpha: Oh my goodness! He didn’t have something bad happen to him, did he?

Dug: I don’t think so. But we’re not really sure what happened to him, either…'cause he didn’t tell me that, either.

Alpha: What did he say his name was? Oak Bushytail?

Dug: Yeah, that’s right. Oak Bushytail.

Alpha: Well, then. I guess we’ll have to gather up our whole dog pack, and talk about this.

(Alpha starts calling the dog pack to get their attention to the urgent matter.)

#56

Chapter 1

“Okay, Wazowski. This is it,” Sulley called out as the rest of the group was catching up. "We have just found ourselves a perfect place to settle in. A perfect spot for us to build ourselves a house. A prefect area to have our own town.

“And why do I say this?” he continued, as he pointed to Luxo Jr. “Because that there lamp has led us.”

While the lamp was giving its approval to what Sullivan had just said, Mike Wazowski just stared at it for a minute or two–and then turns his attention back to his friend.

“Great,” he shrugged. “So when do we start building our own house?”

“In the morning, my friend,” Sulley replied. “In the morning we shall build ourselves a house. But need I remind you, we’d be building it by hand–so’s not to disturb too much of this land.”

Wazowski looked around, but could barely see anything from the darkness of the night sky. The darkness being, that the moon wasn’t enitrely full just yet–but it was getting there.

Then he turned his attention back to Sulley and said:

“I don’t really see where exactly we are at, nor do I know which piece of land we have chosen to settle ourselves in.”

Sulley looked at the night sky, toward the waxing gibbous. Then he turned his attention to Mike once more.

“You’ll find out where we are and what piece of land we are standing in, along with all our surroundings from wherever we may be this very moment. But only when the sun has come up, and when daylight comes in. Besides, we’ve traveled a long way to get here…and we gotta get some sleep.”

Now Sulley, without another word, immediately layed himself down on the ground, ready to sleep almost instantly. But Wazowski just stood there, staring at the distant horizon–until he layed down too, and stared further up into the night sky. Feeling tired himself as well, Wazowski just lay there for a long time (still looking at the night sky), thinking deep thoughts. Finally, he closed his one eye and went right to sleep.

But everyone else was also thinking about their settlement to come as well.

(To be continued…)

****P.S.–Seriously, guys. When is anyone gonna come right here to this thread and give me the feedback I desperately need most?

#57

Whole new set of segments coming up! :smiley:

Full Moon Cheese & Strawberry Hunt

Alfredo Linguini: Little chef? Are you okay?

Remy: Yeah. I’m fine.

Alfredo Linguini: Well, if you’re not going to find food with the rest of the gang, why not come on in for a few minutes?

Remy: I will move on to doing that! Once I’ve finished my resting. I’m just a little tired at my own paws right now, so I’m taking a break…right now.

Alfredo Linguini: Whatever. But would you please just come on in already?!

Remy: Why?

Alfredo Linguini: It’s, uh…rather urgent.

Remy: Okay… (scurries into the house as quickly as he can) And what do you mean, it’s “rather urgent”?

Alfredo Linguini: Colette just called me a little bit ago, saying that she had just received a response to the letter for new leadership in the Waitress Group?

Remy: Really? I did not notice that yet!

Alfredo Linguini: I also just received a response to the letter for new leadership in the Waiter Group as well.

Remy: Really? Can I see it?

Alfredo Linguini: Yes, of course. (reaches for his pocket and pulls the letter out)

(As Linguini unfolded the letter for Remy to look at easier, the rat’s ears begin to twitch suddenly. He could actually hear a whole bunch of noises at once, coming from outside the house–but because the interior of the house was so well lit, Remy could not easily see the silhouettes that were just outside the windows. Now Linguni probably didn’t hear, or notice, the various sounds coming from outside, 'cause he had already fallen asleep on the couch again. But then finally, after a few minutes, the noise quieted down…and Remy’s ears didn’t twitch for that anymore.)

(So then he proceeded to read the letter very carefully, and this is what he saw: )

[i]Good day, waiters! So I hear you’re having some trouble trying to find a new leader for your group, right? Well, there’s really no need to worry about your lack of leadership anymore. In fact, I can make a good leader for just about anything in this town!

Now my friends and I, we’ve been trying to fix this whole town up for months! So in case you’re probably still wondering what those so-called “strange things” are…guess what? I just told you, just now. So there’s really nothing strange about the town, okay?

Speaking of the town, my friends and I are also considering new leadership for the whole place as well. 'Cause like I’ve mentioned before, we can have multiple leaderships around here, if we want to! But I’ve gotta run, so I can’t really say anything more. Hope to meet you guys in a few weeks!

From your soon-to-be new friend and neighbor–perhaps one who is sweet, lovable, and cares the most about you (Yep…that’s me, all right!)[/i]

(Remy folds the letter back up, and then scurries over to Linguini.)

Remy: Would it be all right if I scurried over to Colette’s real quick? I’d like to inquire on that other response letter as well.

Alfredo Linguini: (still half asleep) Sure…go ahead.

(So Remy scurried over to Colette’s as fast as he could. Again, his ears twitched to a rather faint sound that seemed to be coming from far away. But he didn’t really care to stop, nor take the time to listen for it to come closer–he knew right away that because this matter was so urgent, he didn’t really have the time to dawdle. So immediately he scurried over to Colette, using his little tiny paws to wake her up. Then all at once, she sat right up–and when she looked around and saw that Remy was there, she knew he had come right over to see the response letter for new leadership in the waitress group.)

(So now he begins to read the other letter, and this is what he saw on there too: )

[i]Hello, my sweet waitresses! I just read your letter, and I just can’t admit how sorry I am to hear about your struggles lately. But one thing’s for sure: I will gladly take your request and become your new leader for the entire group. I may also partner up with my friend to bring new leadership to this entire town as well.

So now, if you’ll excuse me…I must go and take care of some things. Hopefully, I will meet up with you gals real soon!

Your soon-to-be new friend and neighbor–probably about as sweet as my friend can be!

P.S.–First thing you should probably go ahead and know about me: I actually fly.[/i]

(So Remy folded that other letter back up, and scurries back over to Colette…)

Remy: Thanks for letting me read both letters.

Colette Tatou: You’re welcome. Now if you don’t mind, I’d like to go back to sleep.

Remy: Okay, no problem.

(So then he scurried over back to Linguini’s…)

Alfredo Linguini: (still trying to get himself back to sleep) Yes, little chef. You may go back to doing your thing now. I’ll see you in the morning, too…I hope.

(So Remy finally scurries back outside, into the yard once more. Again came the time when his ears suddenly twitched once more, listening to a distant sound that seemed to involve various noises like the ones he had heard from inside the house earlier. But as he hid somewhere in the bushes near a corner of the fence, he could actually see a bluish light trying to come through. He couldn’t really tell where the light was coming from, but he did see some movement. Then the sudden brightness seemed to be moving away from him, and before long it could not be seen anymore.)

(At that instant, the rat began to twitch his ears again, this time for a different kind of sound–it sounded really strange to him, seemingly coming closer and closer. Now Remy was sure he wouldn’t be seen, but all at once the bushes made a rustling noise–and at that very moment, he could actually see what appeared to be an oddly-shaped silhouette staring down at him. And, strangely enough, he could see a faint yellow glow trying to come through.)

(For a short while, Remy stood still, waiting for the silhouette to go away. Then finally, after a few minutes, it was gone. Having decided by now that it was time to resume the overnight search for food, Remy then decided to forget the very sights that he had just seen–and so begins his own continuation of the overnight mission, hoping to find the other 3 rats with which he’d always been doing this monthly event. But what he didn’t know was that his whole mission was about to be turned upside down…)

*This segment to be continued

#58

Okay, so I would like to disclaimer that I’m only in here because of your constant asking for feedback, and before that I was refraining from commenting because I knew I could not be positive and I didn’t want to come off as mean. I’ll try to be as constructive and not mean as possible.

Onward.

I’m kind of having a hard time really figuring out what you’re trying to do with this. Best I can figure is it’s supposed to be all the Pixar characters living in a town, which I guess you could get something good out of, but nothing interesting’s really being done with it here. Seemingly random characters are gathering for seemingly random little inconsequential blurbs.

I say random characters because everyone seems to be acting fairly generic. Sure, you’ve got the occasional little marker of who is who, Merida mentions brothers, WALL-E mentions the Repair Ward (though, I don’t think he should. He’s an Earth class robot and the Repair Ward’s on the Axiom), but for the most part their actions aren’t very individualized (and in some cases, they go against established characterization). A character’s personality and past experiences should shape their actions and reactions. As a general rule, I should be able to cover up the names next to the lines and still be able to tell who’s talking. For a nice illustration of this, watch this scene from Finding Nemo;

youtube.com/watch?v=2fOmnu3jGD4

Here we have two characters in the same situation having completely different reactions due to their clashing personalities. Marlin, the more logical, serious, focused one with a very personal and important goal, is angry and trying to get out, and then he sinks into despair when it sets in he can’t. Dory, the more carefree, kind of stupid, scatterbrained one without a personal connection to the goal (actually she probably doesn’t remember there was a goal), sees no reason to worry or even really react beyond “Huh”, and instead is playing around. Marlin’s dialogue isn’t just “I have to get out of this whale now. Oh no, I cannot!” it’s puts a big focus on Nemo and not failing him, while pretty much ignoring that he’ll die in there (until it comes more to the forefront of things), because it’s been well established that Marlin’s more focused on his kid than himself. Dory isn’t just nonchalant, she’s completely ignorant to the situation, because, well, Dory, short term memory loss.

There’s another important thing to be learned from this clip; not everyone will have negative reactions to negative things, and not everyone will have positive reactions to positive things. Some people will even remain neutral to positive or negative things. Here, we have Dory who undoubtedly would have died had it not been for that whale being friendly and wanting to help, and just generally not caring. Anger, in the new Inside Out teaser trailer, reacts negatively to a hug. Keep this in mind; the logical reaction for you might not be the logical reaction for one of the characters.

I feel the need to bring this positive negative reaction thing up because of that one little thing with Mr. Incredible, Sulley, and WALL-E in the car, during which I kept thinking WALL-E probably would just be playing with the window buttons until there was a noticeable change in the ride.

The generic feeling isn’t helped by the fact that you seem to have removed any distinct speech patterns any of the characters have. I’m not talking things like accents, people kind of split on whether or not those should be typed differently, but things like how all the WALL-E characters are speaking full sentences. If Pixar gives a character a unique speech pattern, there’s a reason for it. Don’t get rid of them. It makes them unique, also, and most people will have gotten used to hearing them talk like that.

Outside of the more technical things, if I were you, I’d change directions and make it more of a focused crossover thing. By that I mean, bring in Pixar places and props, pick two or three characters for each blurb and focus on them, and have a main point of interest to explore in each one.

I won’t get into the cat thing. I prefer to read about official characters.

And now a few more specific things that bug at me;

[spoiler]1. I’m confused, so I take it this town is inhabited by the Pixar characters…so who’s running these shops they go to? I mean, I can’t think of a Pixar character that would enjoy working at a doughnut shop.

  1. You can’t really flirt with a cane. There’s a definition that means shaking, but that’s for birds and their wings.

  2. Mr. Incredible is not anywhere near stupid enough to start reading while driving. Actually, I’d argue no Pixar character is that stupid (Dug and Dory might be distracted, but that’s the closest you’d get).

  3. I’m not sure if it bothers me or not that the rats are speaking English when the movie establishes humans just hear squeaks when they talk. I think I’d be accepting of it if the other unique ways of speaking hadn’t been removed.

  4. Why would Remy look for food overnight? He made it pretty clear he doesn’t like that sort of thing, and La Ratatouille should have plenty of food (or, heck, Linguini’s refrigerator should have plenty) and at much higher quality.

  5. I’m not sure where you got the impression M-O and BURN-E were friends.[/spoiler]

Okay, so that should about cover the feedback. Now, I want my wine and my perspective. :imp: 8D

#59

Okay, Villainess. If you really want me to fix this up for my next set of segments, I will. But first I want to clarify some things about this fan fic you should probably know about so you’d know what you are getting from there:

First off, this crossover fan fic is not meant to be completely movie accurate for within each individual character and/or location. Second, because this town setting involves multiple subjects living together, they’d have to be able to understand each other’s communications. 'Cause if they only spoke their own languages, they probably wouldn’t understand each other–which would probably make the fan fic a lot more boring rather than entertaining, compared to when they all speak a full English to each other (aside from Spanish Buzz, whose dancing to Gipsy Kings and other kinds of Spanish music really seems to be enjoyed by the citizens).

There are several well-known locations within the downtown section of LuxoVille–including, but not limited to: the Axiom; Piza Planet; and (yes) La Ratatouille. But it’s also noteworthy that the whole town is also divided into 2 other sections: the neighborhoods and the park. Other town locations (from all 3 sections) include the clubhouse, golf course, bowling alley, bakery, tennis court, ice cream shop, racetrack, campfire area, gardens, and several others I will not mention at this time. There is also a landfill.

Now, about the dances: Of course they like multiple music genres! That’s so every subject can respect each other’s tastes (or preferably, based on their own types). So it’s no wonder why a lot of their dances often involve techno, Latino, country–and yes, they love oldies-type music as well. It’s the same with their movie viewings. Let’s just say that, once again, in respect to the many subjects living in town, they like Westerns, Sci-Fi, Action, and Classics. But that’s not the only thing they’d probably watch, or listen to–there could be more.

Mater’s “dad-gum” song can get a little annoying–but only because the song itself is so repetitive!

And did you notice that running gag where Mini Buzz is always constantly asking to be played with? This is most likely based on the fact that, in the Toy Story toon “Small Fry”, he was so obsessed with playtime! As to why I would mention his playtime being denied by everyone because they’re so busy, I have no idea. But at least he gets to hang out with Tinny.

Perhaps the main reason why Dash is considered a pest to a lot of his neighbors is because of the pranks he does. (Goodness! That didn’t just come from looking at that Incredibles outtakes thread, did it?)

Anyway, the robots do have a problem with Mator (the UFM)–why? Because every time he goes near them, they glitch! Which is why they will never get along…

And I apologize for that one scene with Mr. Incredible getting distracted by the paper while driving. (So I’ll probably have to eliminate that.)

This isn’t a complete description of what’s involved with this fan fic, but at least it’s a good start. (More to come later.)

P.S.–As to why I would constantly have Mike Wazowski being booed and then laughed at during every single one of his comedy routines, I have no clue about that. As to why I would come up with the idea that Mustafa is so obsessed with salt and pepper shakers, or the fact that M-O would never be able to get out of a cage on his own (if he ever got trapped in one)–I have no clue about that, either. So without further ado, are there any questions regarding what all I have mentioned so far?

#60

Why not?

All of these characters got through their movies just fine with their current voice patterns. All it’d take here is to describe their body language and facial expressions. This, by the way, is one of the reasons why script format is bad; it’s preventing actual descriptions from being given.

I just don’t see why they need to be in a town. Why can’t they be in their own worlds? You can find substitutes (or, in a bunch of places, the exact same type of place) for all those things in canon Pixar worlds. Monsters, Inc. provides an easy, convenient way to have them all meet up wherever they need to; just have them each have a door or two in their worlds (with only them or an active population, whichever) that leads to the Scare Floor as a sort of hub. It’d make things much simpler, make everything seem more Pixar-ish (and less generic), and eliminate the need to describe settings, which you aren’t doing currently but it’s pretty important to do so.

I never mentioned dances.

I said most of the actions were generic, not all of them And besides, this is still watering the characters down to one trait.

I haven’t seen that short in years, but I’m fairly certain there’s no reason being near Mator should make robots glitch.

If you don’t know why you’re writing something, you might want to refrain from writing it.

And actually, I do have a question. I’m curious if these characters are supposed to be aware of being fictional or not. Like, if you went to Woody and asked him what he thought of John Lasseter, or Lightning and asked him about Owen Wilson, would they know who you were talking about? Just out of curiousity.