“Meryl Streep was resurrected by God himself, as he pitied her, and then on the horizon Brad Pitt was seen…”
“coming to adopt her. Meanwhile, the Oscar host, who was…”
“Santa Claus, was eating some cookies when…”
“it started to rain. Streep quickly got inside of her new father’s car and they…”
"drove away, to pick up a new sister, Natalie Portman…
“who was so pretty she made the car shine. So, Brad Pitt took his new daughters to meet their mother…”
“Anna Nicole Smith, who had risen from the dead and taken Jolie’s place…”
“as Brad Pitt’s inflatable wife. Streep and Portman didn’t like their new mother, so they…”
“Left the family. They then…”
“had her assassinated, causing…”
“Brad Pitt to try and kill them. Then …”
“he had a brain aneurism, and they escaped…”
“to Africa, as stowaways in a boat. There, they…”
“met handsome Africans, married, and began dictators of…”
“the tribe of Streeportmanguanatú. They introduced cannibalistic habits to their people and…”
“made polygamy and murder common practice, as well as…”
“scale modeling and water sports. Sadly, one of the first victims of the cannibalism was Streep herself, leaving Portman alone and…”
“frightened and terrified, when suddenly Ra’s al Ghul found Streep, and revived her with the Lazarus Pit, when…”
“…she went crazy and began to seek revenge on…”
“the tribe. Portman got to warn the cannibals, but…”