A quote from The Simpsons
Comic Book Guy: I’ve wasted my life.
One of my favourite quotes from The Simpsons:
Radioactive Man: “Zee goggles! Zey do nothing!”
And from South Park:
Cartman: “Respect my authoritaaaaaa!”
Lennonluvr9 almost had it right. Here, let me take a crack at that.
Fat Tony: Now, who wants to sleep with the fishes?
Kids: AHHHH!
Fat Tony: Becuase I brought this Finding Nemo beadspread.
Kids: Ohhhh.
Just one question from a favorite TV show of mine years ago.
“DO YOU HAVE IT?!”
“GUTS!”
Here’s an Everybody Loves Raymond one:
Ray: What is that smell?
Robert: I left a carton of milk out the day I got gored by the bull. Apparently, if you leave milk out for twelve weeks, it goes bad and then explodes.
I think I have seen that before. What episode did it come from?
TSS - I don’t remember actually. I’ll have to check my DVD sets.
Bill: Oh! Well I knew I was close… 
As for the Raymond one, I dont remember the title but I believe it’s when Robert moves back into his apartment after the bull accident… I know I just saw that one, but it’s hard to remember!
Spongebob: What can be better than serving up smiles? 
(flashes the biggest, cheeziest smile ever)
Squidward: Being dead. . .or anywhere else.
Spongebob: I never thought you felt so strongly about this.
Squidward: (annoyed) Where. . .have. . .you. . .been?
From a Suite Life of Zack and Cody show:
London: “I even dived for a penny! Did you know they’re round?”
Maddie: “… I’ve heard rumors.”
From Futurama:
Nurse: He’s very excitable, so don’t say anything to surprise him.
opens door, Fry enters
Malfunctioning Eddie: Pleased to meet you.
Fry: Actually we met once before.
Malfunctioning Eddy: WHAT?? explodes
From the Simpsons:
Homer: “Oh my god!..Where did you get that brownie!?”
Another Futurama one:
Professor: Good news, everyone.
Bender: Uh oh, I don’t like the sound of that…
Professor: You’ll be making a delivery to the planet Trysaur.
Bender: Here it comes…
Professor: A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the Forbidden Zone.
Bender: Thank you and good night.
From Family Guy:
Ding Fries are done, Would you like and apple pie with that?
Big Brother-
“Bryan, Big Brother has a present for you.”
“Cider?”
“The gift of knowledge.”
“But I want cider!”
Whose line:
(after watching a skating clip)
Colin, you have witnessed people who will never have children.
Ooh, I like these.
From my favorite ep of Angel: Smile Time
Gunn: Maybe it’s some form of puppet cancer…
PuppetAngel: I do not have puppet cancer!
Futurama
Zapp Brannigan:If we can hit that bull’s-eye, the rest of the dominoes will fall like a house of cards. Checkmate!
Zapp Brannigan: As my protégé, you should know that the only way to deal with a female adversary is to seduce her.
…
This time we are sure she’s a woman, right?
Kif: Yes!
Ahh… I heart Futurama. That show rocks.
I actually collect quotes, but I can’t access my file at the moment, so we’ll have to make do with these, since I was just looking through the Wikiquote file on Mystery Science Theater 3000, one of my fave shows ever.
From the short “A Date With Your Family”:
From the short “Why Study Industrial Arts?”:
And from my favorite MST3K episode, “The Final Sacrifice”:
(You really have to hear the way they say “Food!” to really understand how funny it is. You can see it here if you want to… it’s about 20 seconds in.)
Maybe if this topic’s still open when I get my quotes back, I’ll add some more…
Oh man! I love that bit! Here’s what that reminded me of:
A Peter Griffin Christmas-
(tune of Little Drummer Boy)
“I have these gifts for you, they’re up in my bum”
(tune of Sleigh Ride)
“Na na na, na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na na, everybody look at the snow in their yard”
Let’s see. What other crazed quotes can I come up with now? Ah! Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy:
Jeff-Why wont you love me, dad? I’ll be whatever you want me to be!"
Billy-"I want you to be dead!”
Gotta put in a Beatles one (from my fav movie, Help!):
Bhuta (talking about Ringo): Excuse me sirs, but if he is to be sacrificed before the Dread Kaili, why is he not painted red?
John: Well, that’s a question I’ve never been able to buck up enough courage to ask him. Because, he’s me best friend in the world
Yes lennonluvr, the Family guy parodies are indeed the best. I love the christmas ones.